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Kung Fu Panda: I Reincarnated as the Dragon Warrior [Po]

Ammi_
Everyone who gets dropped into the world of Kung Fu Panda ends up in Tai Lung's body. Everyone. Not me. I woke up as a two-meter wall of muscle and fat with a goose for a dad, a blacksmith's hammer for a hobby, and absolutely zero interest in kung fu. My previous life was a forgettable stretch of office work, video games, and bones that snapped if I looked at them wrong. This life? I had a body that could lift a ton, a father who made the best noodles in the Valley of Peace, and a comfortable routine I had zero intention of disrupting. Then I accidentally destroyed the Jade Palace gates, breathed fire in front of a thousand witnesses, and got a thousand-year-old tortoise pointing his wrinkled finger at my face. Apparently, I'm the Dragon Warrior now. I didn't ask for this. I don't want a Golden Scroll. I don't want to train under a red panda with a grudge and a gift for targeting sensitive anatomy. And I definitely don't want to share a roof with five kung fu masters who'd like nothing better than to watch me fail. But with a bandit crisis growing outside the valley, a mysterious threat lurking on the horizon, and Master Oogway smiling like he knows something I don't — it looks like my quiet life is over. At least the noodles are still good. ---
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