Hey, folks! Chris Reynolds here again, with a new update. And, uh, I'm not gonna lie—this one's a bit of a wild ride. Buckle up.
First things first: **the eyes**. Oh, they're definitely not "just eyes" anymore. At this point, they're basically their own entity, and I'm starting to wonder if *they* have more control over me than I have over them. I mean, last night, I was just sitting in my room, reading through a spellbook I borrowed from one of the older kids in the training hall. I wasn't even thinking about it, I swear. But then I noticed the light. At first, I thought it was a trick of the candlelight, but no. It was *my* eyes. They were glowing, not faintly, but like headlights on a car. My mom knocked on the door to check if I was still awake and almost jumped back when she saw me. I mean, it was *bad*. Not "wow, that's a cool party trick" kind of glow. More like "please don't set the house on fire" glow.
So, I did what any logical person would do: I freaked out and blinked like my life depended on it. When I opened my eyes again, they were back to normal, but the air felt different. Like it was charged with something I couldn't understand. My head was pounding afterward, and I felt dizzy—like a spinning wheel inside my skull. And the worst part? I didn't even *do* anything to make it happen. It just… *happened*. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if this is just a normal part of the whole "awakening" thing, but I'm starting to feel like my body's *running* on a different kind of magic. Not the controlled kind. The unpredictable, dangerous kind.
Speaking of danger, let's talk about **the sword training**. It's not getting any easier. In fact, if anything, it's gotten *worse*. I mean, I've been training non-stop, pushing myself harder, trying to make the moves more instinctual. But there's a problem—my body is literally falling apart. After yesterday's session, I couldn't even lift my arms. And trust me, it's not for lack of trying. My muscles are sore *all the time* now, and the worst part is—my form's getting worse, not better. I think it's the mana. It's like the energy inside me is leaking out during training, making everything feel *off*. Every time I try to land a strike, I feel the pulse of magic coming from my hands, but it's not *controlled*. It's wild. Erratic. And that's exactly how my sword strikes are turning out.
To make matters worse, I've started having these weird episodes. Sometimes, when I'm too tired or I push myself too hard, it's like I go into this *frenzied* state. My body moves without thinking. My muscles lock into these unnatural positions, and I can't control my movements. It's like the sword is swinging itself—except it's *too fast*, too powerful, and it leaves me completely out of breath afterward. There was a moment yesterday when I almost hit my dad in the chest. If he hadn't *dodged* at the last second, I'm not sure what would've happened. I could've killed him, honestly.
And here's the worst part: I think he knows something's wrong. He hasn't said anything directly, but the looks he gives me? They're starting to get more… concerned. I can tell he's wondering if I'm ready for whatever's coming. And I'm starting to wonder the same thing. Am I?
Now, **the magic**. Where do I even begin? I keep *trying* to figure it out, but it's like everything I do just ends up being one giant mess. I've been practicing simple infusions—just trying to get the feel of channeling my mana into objects—but nothing's working. My infusions either fizzle out or explode in a burst of magic that leaves me *shaken* for hours afterward. And no, I'm not being dramatic. I swear, every time the mana explodes from my hands, it leaves me feeling like I've just run a marathon and then eaten a whole cake. But that's not the worst part. The worst part is that I *feel* the mana in my bones now. Not just in the air, but inside me. It's like a pulse of energy that's constantly swirling around in my body, ready to *burst* out at any moment. Sometimes it feels like I'm swimming in it. Other times, it feels like it's choking me.
I tried something different yesterday. I thought, maybe if I *force* the mana into my body with more focus, I could control it better. So, I sat in my room, surrounded by a circle of candles, trying to concentrate. I'm not sure what I expected, but the result was… well, I'll just say that it was a little *too* much. When I tried to push the mana into my core, it was like I opened the floodgates. My body *shook*, the air around me got *heavy*, and I felt my vision narrow. Then, the candles went out, the room went dark, and I passed out. When I woke up, I was lying on the floor, drenched in sweat, and my eyes—*oh my god*, my eyes were glowing again. Brighter than ever.
I think I'm starting to lose control.
And then, of course, there's **Star**. That little furball is really starting to weird me out. He's been sticking to me like glue, but not in the usual way. I've caught him staring at me more than once, his little rabbit paws twitching like he's waiting for something. It's like he *knows* something's about to happen. And don't even get me started on his *moods*. One minute he's a lazy cat, sprawled out on my bed like he owns the place. The next, he's a hyperactive ball of energy, bouncing off the walls like there's no tomorrow. And honestly? I'm starting to think he's picking up on my anxiety. But he's acting *weirdly* protective too. He won't leave my side, not even when I'm training. I swear, he's got this look in his eyes like he's guarding me from something.
So yeah, things have been *rough*. I'm still trying to hold it together, but every day feels like I'm getting closer to *something*. What that something is, I have no idea. But at this point, I can't keep pretending like I'm not scared. Because, honestly? I am. I'm terrified. I'm not ready for whatever's coming.
But I'm going to keep trying. I have to.
Anyway, that's all I've got for now. I'll check in again soon. Until then, folks, keep your fingers crossed for me. Or, you know, send some positive vibes my way. I'm gonna need them.
Stay safe. Stay magical. And, for the love of mana, please don't let me explode anything else.
Catch you later.