Shao Tien (POV)
The problem with being a reincarnated fifty-year-old corporate grandpa is that your circadian rhythm doesn't care if you're in a modern apartment or a high-stakes historical danmei novel.
By exactly 5:30 AM, my eyes snapped wide open.
I stared blankly at the ornate wooden canopy above me. My back didn't ache, my knees didn't creak, and my lungs felt perfectly clear.
It was a biological miracle that should have filled my soul with profound gratitude. Instead, I just felt deeply, spiritually annoyed.
*(System. Get your pixelated ass out here right now. We need to look over the company policy.)*
Ding!~ Good morning, Host! Your favorite AI administrative assistant is fully charged and ready to assist you in maximizing your afterlife potential! (*＾▽＾)／
*(Cut the corporate synergy crap, you floating toaster. Explain my current status screen. If I'm supposed to be a regular Beta, why did that giant supermodel general look at me like he was trying to read the fine print on a hostile takeover?)*
Answering Host! Your physical vessel is currently utilizing the 'Perfect Flawless Beta Camouflage' package (Premium Tier).
To the outside world, your spiritual veins look completely average, and your scent is as neutral as a freshly printed spreadsheet! However...
*(However what? Don't leave me on a cliffhanger, I have high blood pressure in my soul!)*
However, because the Male Lead possesses a 'Primal Alpha Instinct' rating of 99%, his subconscious is currently rejecting your status due to sheer main-character intuition! It's the fated-mate gravity pulling at his narrative strings! Hehehe!
*(Fated mate? Gravity?!)*
I violently dragged a silk pillow over my face to muffle my screaming.
*(I am retired! I spent thirty years dealing with office politics and aggressive regional managers, I am not participating in a high-stakes workplace romance with a man who looks like he could snap me like a dry twig!)*
My internal breakdown was rudely interrupted by a sharp, rhythmic knocking at the courtyard doors.
"Young Master Shao," a cold, precise voice called out from the other side.
"The Grand General requests your presence in the southern training grounds. Immediately."
I slowly pulled the pillow off my face. The executioner had arrived, and he was apparently an early riser.
=====°°°°°
The Evaluation of a "Beta"
Lao Shi Chen (ML POV)
The southern training grounds were bathed in the crisp, pale light of dawn.
The air here was sharp, smelling faintly of dew, iron, and the dust kicked up by hundreds of marching boots.
I stood on the raised wooden observation deck, my arms crossed tightly over my chest. Below me, my elite soldiers were already halfway through their morning drills, their synchronized shouts echoing across the stone courtyard.
Yet, my attention was entirely fixed on the small, slouching figure currently being escorted through the iron gates.
Shao Tien looked like a creature that had been forcibly dragged out of its natural habitat. He was wearing a set of simple, pale gray robes I had ordered the servants to provide, but he wore them with the posture of a man carrying a heavy sack of grain.
His shoulders were slumped, his head was slightly tilted, and his eyes were scanning the military equipment with a look of profound, unadulterated exhaustion.
*Look at him.*
I leaned against the wooden railing, my eyes narrowing as I tracked his approach.
If his performance yesterday was a fabrication, then he was a master actor. A true spy would attempt to blend in, to show a baseline level of physical competence to avoid suspicion. But this youth... he didn't even attempt to stand up straight.
He walked as if gravity itself was targeting him specifically.
"General Lao," Shao Tien squeaked as he finally reached the base of the platform. He didn't offer a proper military salute; instead, he awkwardly bowed from the waist, his hands fumbling with his sleeves like a low-ranking clerk meeting the CEO.
"Good morning. Truly a... beautiful day to be awake before the sun."
"You are late," I said, my voice dropping into a low, resonant register that usually made my subordinates break into a cold sweat.
Shao Tien didn't sweat this time.
Instead, his left eyebrow twitched violently for a fraction of a second.
It was a microscopic reaction, but my analytical gaze caught it instantly. It wasn't the reaction of a terrified peasant-it was the distinct, deeply suppressed irritation of a man who had just been told his lunch break was being canceled.
"My apologies, General," he muttered, his voice dripping with an insincere politeness that made my inner predator tilt its head in curiosity.
"My internal clock is still adjusting to the... atmospheric pressure of your esteemed household."
"We shall see if your body adjusts as quickly as your tongue," I replied, vaulting over the wooden railing and landing perfectly on the stone floor right in front of him.
The impact created a sharp crack that echoed across the clearing.
Shao Tien didn't jump back in terror; he simply took one slow, deliberate step away from me, his eyes tracking my boots with a look that could only be described as *judgmental*.
I gestured toward a nearby wooden rack holding various practice weapons.
"Yesterday, you claimed you survived the bandit attack by purely accidental means. You claimed you picked up a spiritual blade and swung it blindly."
I took a step closer, allowing my dominant Alpha aura to flare slightly-just enough to heavy the air around us.
"Today, we test the validity of that claim."
=====°°°°°
The Audit of Physical Capital
Shao Tien (POV)
This guy was a psycho. A certified, corporate-ladder-climbing, micromanaging psycho.
He wanted me to pick up a wooden sword. He wanted me-a man whose previous exercise routine consisted of walking to the break room to get a fresh cup of coffee-to engage in physical combat with a walking tank.
*(System. If I die here, can I sue for workplace negligence?)*
Answering Host! There are no labor unions in the cultivation world! Please do your best to look pathetic so the Male Lead loses interest!~
*(Oh, looking pathetic is my specialty. Watch a master at work.)*
I walked over to the weapon rack with the enthusiastic energy of a Victorian child heading into the coal mines. I passed over the heavy broadswords and the elegant long swords, finally settling on a thin, lightweight wooden rapier that looked like a glorified twig.
I picked it up. My grip was deliberately terrible. I held it like a man holding a damp umbrella, my pinky finger slightly sticking out.
"I am ready, General," I said, putting on my best miserable, trembling-victim smile.
"Please go easy on this fragile, ordinary Beta."
Lao Shi Chen didn't move. He didn't even draw a practice weapon. He simply stood there, his massive arms crossed, his golden-brown eyes locked onto my stance.
"Attack me," he commanded.
"Sir, with all due respect, I don't think that's a good-"
"Attack."
*Fine. You asked for it, you oversized calendar model.*
I took a deep breath, channeled every ounce of my past-life annoyance at quarterly reviews, and ran forward. I didn't use any spiritual energy. I didn't use form.
I literally just lunged forward like a frantic middle-aged man trying to catch the last subway train of the evening.
*"Haaaaah!"* I yelled, thrusting the wooden stick toward his chest.
Lao Shi Chen didn't even blink. He didn't shift his feet. As the wooden tip drew close, he simply tilted his torso to the left by a single inch. The rapier slid harmlessly past his ribs, the momentum carrying me forward until I lost my balance entirely.
My foot caught on a loose stone, and I went flying.
*Thud.*
I hit the dirt face-first. It was a spectacular, ungraceful, 10-out-of-10 clumsy disaster.
Dust flew into my nose, and my gray robes were instantly covered in grime.
I lay there for a solid three seconds, listening to the absolute silence of the training grounds.
*(Nailed it,)* I told the system.
*(There is no way a proud, elite Alpha general looks at this absolute clown show and thinks 'Ah yes, a dangerous imperial spy.' I am free.)*
"Get up," a deep voice boomed directly above me.
I rolled over, rubbing my nose pathetically. Lao Shi Chen was looming over me, his shadow completely blotting out the morning sun. But he wasn't looking at me with disgust or dismissal.
His eyes were burning with an even more intense, terrifying curiosity than before.
"Your physical form is abysmal," the General murmured, bending down until his face was only a few inches from mine.
His sharp, predatory gaze scanned the way I was sprawled in the dirt.
"Your muscles have no memory of combat. Your stance is entirely open."
"See?" I coughed, playing up the act.
"I told you! I'm just a regular, useless-"
"And yet," Lao Shi Chen interrupted, his hand suddenly reaching out to grab my wrist.
His grip wasn't painful, but it was absolute iron. His thumb pressed directly against my pulse point.
"Your heartbeat is perfectly steady. Your breathing did not accelerate in panic before you struck. A true coward's heart would be hammering against their ribs."
My stomach dropped into my shoes.
*Shit.*
Thirty years of corporate presentations, multi-million-dollar audits, and facing down furious board directors had fundamentally broken my biological panic response.
I could be actively falling out of an airplane, and my internal heart rate would still register it as a slightly stressful Tuesday morning meeting.
Lao Shi Chen leaned closer, his scent suddenly shifting-dropping into a dark, heavy, intoxicating wave of pure territorial dominance that made my skin tingle.
"You are a terrible liar, Shao Tien," he whispered, his golden eyes flashing in the dawn light.
"A regular Beta would be trembling beneath my aura right now. But you... you are simply bored."
I stared at him, my inner grandpa officially throwing its hands up in defeat.
*This absolute, meddling, overachieving main character... can someone please just let me corporate-retreat back to the afterlife?!*