Chapter 5
So… looks like I didn't die after all, eh?
Instead of my ass ending up blankly looking around the early midday streets of the Capital like I once did when I first arrived in this world, I drearily woke up in an unfamiliar bed, in some unfamiliar room, under an unfamiliar ceiling. Double-checking, I sat up and pushed the sheets covering me off to pat my stomach and any other parts of my body that could have been harmed.
Nope. I'm still all here. Good.
This should be great news, but the aching migraine and sore muscles did put a damper on my utter elation that I didn't have to redo and go through all of that traumatizing bullshit again. Still, I did have to figure out where the hell I was. If I wasn't dead and not in the remains of the Loot House, then I definitely had to have gone past the end stage of Arc 1.
However, instead of waking up in some glamorous, decked-out mansion bedroom, I was now asleep in a rather admittedly classy bedroom that felt more like it wouldn't fit in the decked-out mansion that Roswaal would have. So, along with finding out what prevented my death via gravity, I needed to figure out where I was exactly.
I got up from bed and noticed in a nearby dresser mirror that my beanie was no longer atop my head. I blinked and searched around the space, which was sparse of most of my belongings save for my phone, wallet, and keys that were on the dresser. "Shit… well, I guess them's the breaks, huh?"
It seemed redundant to hold value in something like a beanie, but considering I was about to blend in with the locals and their medieval form of wear that didn't seem fully comfortable, I at least wanted to retain some of my old-world stuff. Thankfully, I didn't lose my shoes, and they were still in good condition despite all that walking I did in the Capital with Emilia.
Speaking of Emilia, though, I should probably get to figuring things out. Gathering my stuff and putting on my sneakers, I made my way to the window and opened the curtains. The sheer light from the morning sun nearly blinded me, but I did find the stunning view of Lugunica from the apparent height of this tall place to be sort of worth it.
"Still in the Capital… Also, if this place has this good of a view, then I'm in some sort of inn or house?" I muttered to myself and decided to finally leave the room. Funny thing was, just as I opened the door, I came face to face with someone about to enter.
"Ah." / "Whoops!"
Darkish-red eyes slowly blinked at me while I flinched back at the sight of the individual before me.
"Good morning, dear guest. To see that you are up so early and prepared is heartening," bowed the cute pink-headed maid, who was doing her best not to spill the basin of water and the wet towel draped over its edges from her arms.
That's right, she did accompany Emilia to the Capital and got separated from her, so it made some sense as to why she was here.
"T-Thanks, but…" I scratched my cheek and tilted my head at her. "Who are you again? And where am I?" I had to play up my cluelessness, and the fact that I was genuinely confused about my surroundings really helped sell it. Hopefully.
"My name is Ram, dear guest. I am a maid to the Mathers Household and accompanying help to the house's ward, Lady Emilia." Ram primly introduced herself, but despite the proper etiquette and tone of her voice, I could still sense a level of coldness in it. Which was to be expected from the likes of someone like her.
She was just the definition of stoicism.
"So you're with Emilia?" I spoke it more for myself than as a question to her. Then I quickly blinked and gasped. "Hold on, wait, is everything okay? What happened? I mean, is she and everyone else okay from what happened?"
Ram quietly looked me over and sighed. Though her stoicism remained firm, I had the impression that my rapid-fire questions annoyed her.
"Lady Emilia, who sustained some burns, came out unscathed from the events of last night. As for any others, I do not know. My priority was Lady Emilia first and foremost; thus, the actions of the Sword Saint hold no importance to me."
Huh, so I guess it was Adelheid who saved me. Her even being there would be a one hundred percent guarantee for my survival from that high of a drop. Sure, the maid didn't give a rat's ass about what the Sword Saint did, but I can piece some things together. Now, as for whether she chanced upon Felt, that would have to be elaborated on.
"Well… at least Emilia came out of it okay…" I tiredly scratched my head. "And I take it that the reason I'm here and not on the streets is because of her?"
Ram nodded. "The Sword Saint did offer to take you into her residence, but Lady Emilia was insistent that you remain under our care until you've awakened."
Now I was conflicted. First, fuck… I missed out on my chance to see Adelheid and thank her for the save. But secondly, it was sweet of Emilia to worry over me like that. Me going out of my way to help and later save her did play a factor in it, but it yet again showed how sweet and naïve she was to go out of her way for me.
"Yep, that makes a lot of sense now." I huffed with a smile. "Thanks, and sorry for the trouble of my sudden last-minute intrusion into… whatever it was you and Emilia had plans for today."
"…" Ram blankly stared at me as if I were an idiot. "What are you apologizing for? You saved my master's ward and helped her when we were separated for the day. You should be the one receiving our… no, my gratitude for assisting her in my absence."
…Huh, wow, she actually looked genuine when saying that. I guess my own crackpot theory that, per Roswaal's orders, she intentionally separated from Emilia so that she could bump into Subaru in canon was dashed now. Although that was in the LN, this was now real life for me.
"Look, it's no trouble at all." I mean, save for me almost dying via crazy bitch with a knife. "Everything turned out for the best in the end." I scratched my head before immediately holding out my left hand to her. "Right, you gave me your name, so I'll give you mine. Michael Abbot's the name. Nice to meet ya."
Ram's eyes lingered on my hand for a solid ten seconds, and after another five seconds of her dully staring at it, I decided to swallow some of my irritation and confusion and put it down, rubbing my arm and the Omnitrix awkwardly.
"Or a simple verbal greeting's fine too. Yep, totally fine with me."
"My hands are full." Indeed they were, with that basin and washcloth. "Lady Emilia has already spoken of your name to me as well, so there's no need for any further unneeded introductions, Mr. Abbot."
O-Oh…
She deeply bowed to me before turning on her heel.
"Please remain here as I put these away and inform Lady Emilia of your waking."
Ram began to walk off, but not before stopping once more to look over her shoulder at me.
"…Also, again, I must give you my gratitude, Mr. Abbot."
"Oh, like I said, things worked ou—"
"Not that. You waking up has been of great service to me. After all, you've spared Ram the displeasure of having to make any more physical contact with you than she already has. And for that, Ram is grateful."
"…"
"Now then, please wait until my return."
And there I stood, watching the pink-headed Oni maid strut off nonchalantly.
When she was out of earshot, I deeply sighed.
"…Wow, she's so much meaner than I thought she'd be…" I rubbed my hand down my face. "Also, what crawled up her ass and died about even touching me? Not like I can make a bad first impression while I'm unconscious…"
Bah, getting worked up by Ram isn't important right now. What is important is me finally using the small amount of time I had to tinker with the Omnitrix and see what I can figure out. I probably wouldn't make a breakthrough now, but it would still be more time than what I had yesterday before immediately getting sucked up into Emilia's business.
"Grey Matter!" Now, it may be juvenile to exclaim the name of my transformations, but it just wouldn't feel right not to follow a staple tradition for all Omnitrix users.
"Now then, shall we begin?"
The world expanded around me as my body diminished in size once more. The bed beneath me transformed into a vast plain of blankets and pillows while the Omnitrix, now situated on my chest, remained perfectly scaled to my smaller frame. Its familiar weight settled against me.
I rubbed my hands together. "Now let's see what makes you tick!"
Immediately, my thoughts accelerated.
The sensation wasn't uncomfortable. It wasn't like a headache or information being forcibly crammed into my skull. It was more akin to finally putting on a pair of prescription glasses after years of squinting through life. "...Oh."
I stared down at the Omnitrix on my chest.
"...Oh."
The device I'd barely spent a good ten minutes fumbling around with suddenly unfolded before me in ways I hadn't previously been capable of understanding.
Energy conversion matrices. Adaptive DNA stabilization protocols. Cross-species neurological compensation systems.
Fail-safe redundancies woven through recursive computational frameworks.
Quantum synchronization mechanisms built atop a bio-organic substrate that should not have been capable of housing even a fraction of the processes currently occurring within the device.
I slowly reached toward the dial.
"...This is absurd." I turned it slightly.
Immediately, I understood that what appeared to be a simple selection mechanism was anything but.
The dial wasn't merely rotating.
It was inputting commands.
Thousands upon thousands of microscopic components shifted beneath the surface. Certain rotational sequences altered pathways while others bypassed them entirely. Minute variations in pressure affected outcomes. Even the timing between inputs mattered.
"...A rotational cipher?" I blinked.
No.
No, that wasn't accurate.
"It functions more akin to a multi-layered heuristic authentication lattice utilizing tactile sequencing as a means of restricting access to subroutines."
I paused. "...That sentence made complete sense to me."
I wasn't sure whether to be horrified or ecstatic.
Both, apparently.
Carefully, I tapped the faceplate and it popped upward.
More mechanisms revealed themselves to me. "Oh, you magnificent little monstrosity." I could practically feel my pulse quickening.
The Omnitrix wasn't simply technology. It was just an utter elegant and efficient piece of art, but also it was admittedly excessively complicated even for someone of my intellect.
This was the work of someone whose intellect existed so far beyond conventional understanding that they had somehow managed to make impossibility appear natural. "...Azmuth."
The name to the infuriating creator of the Omnitrix surfaced into my head. "If it truly was you responsible for creating this device bound to me and not some random entity then you've truly earned your title as Thinker, the greatest mind in several galaxies..."
I narrowed my eyes.
"...Or just an insufferable asshole." I clicked my tongue.
The hidden functions weren't inaccessible.
Far from it.
They were intentionally obscured.
The problem was that deciphering the proper pathways required extensive trial and error.
One sequence.
Then another.
Then another.
I stopped.
"...Ten?"
I counted again.
"...Ten."
My eye twitched. "You've got to be kidding me."
To access even the possibility of additional functions required correctly inputting ten separate commands in succession. Timing, rotational alignment, pressure application, and sequence order all needed to be exact.
Should one input fail?
The entire process reset.
I stared down at the Omnitrix, then back at the opened faceplate, then back at the Omnitrix.
"...This is less a user interface and more an elaborate intellectual hazing ritual."
I could practically imagine Azmuth standing somewhere across the cosmos giving an infuriating diatribe to mock my insufficiency in cracking his code. 'If the user lacks sufficient cognitive capability to navigate the interface, then perhaps they were never qualified to utilize the Omnitrix in the first place.'
"...Oho, that pretentious smart grey bastard."
My lips curled upward, then it grew wider until it split into a vicious grin. "...This is incredible."
Frustrating? Sure.
Infuriating. Most definitely.
Needlessly difficult. Fuck YES.
But incredible nonetheless.
Every failed attempt offered clues. Every incorrect input eliminated possibilities. Every successful observation narrowed the field.
In the end it it was a puzzle, a true challenge that put me into direct confrontation between my intellect and one of THE smartest creatures in the universe who had forged an equally great invention to have ever blessed the cosmos.
I shivered. "...Oh, what fun…what fun!" My fingers flew across the Omnitrix.
Rotational adjustment.
Pause.
Faceplate manipulation.
Pressure input.
Dial recalibration.
Reset.
Again.
Again.
Again.
"No, no, no. The tertiary sequence is dependent upon the previous tactile interval."
Again.
"The command hierarchy appears modular..."
Again.
"...Unless the hierarchy itself changes in response to user interaction."
Again.
"...You absolute psychopath."
I had become so engrossed in deciphering the Omnitrix that the rest of the world ceased to exist.
Unfortunately, the world hadn't stopped existing around me.
A shadow stretched across the bed.
I blinked. "...Hm?"
Another shadow from the one before followed and began to move above the other shadow.
Very slowly, I turned around to catch sight of…R-Ram towering over me.
The pink-haired Oni maid gazed down at my diminutive form with all the emotion one might reserve for discovering an insect inside their kitchen. Her expression remained perfectly blank as her two hands held a wooden serving tray.
Spoiler: Uh-Oh
Raised directly above her head.
"..."
"..."
"...Good afternoon?" I offered weakly.
Ram's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "How troublesome."
My stomach dropped. "Wait." I began to really sweat and held my hand out to the terrifying BIG woman looming over me.
"The guest room appears to have acquired a rodent."
"...I can explain."
"The creature also appears capable of speech."
"W-Wait, Ram, it's me."
"How distasteful."
"It's me, Michael!"
"An intelligent rodent at that too."
"RAM PLEASE!"
Her grip tightened around the tray, but she paused as if she really took a good glance at me. Good, it means that she's hopefully listening.
"...Please heed my words, dear maid!" I tried upping the sophistication of Grey Matter's speech to really sell my point. "I'm Michael! Michael Abbot! You know, the ignoramus that you deemed unfit for making physical contact with moments ago!?"
"I see." Ram slowly nods.
Relief flooded through me. "Thank God."
"I see that the rodents in the capital have also developed ridiculous delusions." Ram's eyes dangerously narrowed.
"...Excuse me?" I gulped.
The tray descended before I had the chance to blink and thus I screamed, and most certainly not like a bitch just to be clear. "AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Out of reflex, I did the one thing I shouldn't and dodged the tray by jumping off of the bed and onto Ram's face.
"…" her silence did not feel me with comfort.
"Liste-fuck!" I dodged just as the maid was about to slam the tray onto my form. Thanfully I got out of the way. Unfortunately, the miffed face I used to cling to took my place.
*WHAM!"
"…"
O-Oh…
"…I-I'm so sorry." I hoarsely whispered in fright, but the murderous look on the maid's face only intensified. Now I wasn't too sure whether changing back would resolve anything or just escalate this into something worse.
"Michael, you're finally u-! Eh? What happened to you? You look even more bruised and hurt than yesterday, and you too, Ram? What happened?" Upon us entering the living room of the guesthouse that apparently belonged to the Mathers family, Emilia, who'd been waiting, rushed over to greet me.
That is, until she noticed just how heavily disheveled Ram and I were.
"W-We…" I awkwardly looked to Ram, then quickly averted my eyes once I still felt those red orbs continue to tiredly glare at me after things had died down and reverted back to normal once my ten minutes as Grey Matter were up. She'd been like this even after I hastily explained how I changed forms. "Came across a pest on our way here and tried to…remove it before it could get away."
"T-Together?" Emilia cutely tilted her head.
I nervously laughed. "Yeah, I had some trouble, but with Ram's help, we took care of i-."
Ram then spoke up, interrupting me.
"Ram apologizes in that the pest got away. Next time, Ram will be sure to properly dispose of it."
H-Hey, you know I'm going to take it the wrong way if you say that while you keep looking at me, you know.
"O-Oh, I see…" Emilia didn't really seem to get it as she just nodded along while Ram basically threatened me right in front of her. Well, there goes my chance at making a good impression... which was already ruined since, for some reason, she doesn't want to touch me.
Meaning, I don't really have to give a shit about it anymore...
Which was why, after Emilia finished fussing over me and prodding if I was okay after the events of last night, I actually began to calm down, even if Ram's damning gaze burning through me did feel like it was boring through my head from where she stood behind Emilia's couch. Although Emilia's genuine concern was a nice counterbalance to the maid's annoyance toward me.
As for a certain Great Spirit, on the other hand...
Puck had emerged from the glintstone adorned on the chest of Emilia's dress to happily float over and knock his paw against my head.
"See? Told you this thick-headed brat was going to be fine. Guys like him are way too hard to kill, trust me!"
And considering the long life you lived, that must be you talking from experience, right, furball?
"Nice to see you too, Gramps," I shot back.
"Hey, don't push it. I may be grateful for you protecting my sweet daughter, but don't think I won't wipe you out for calling me old, you know. Thick-headed fools may be hard to put down, but I'm way more capable of freezing hot-heads any time of the week!"
That's because fire's your entire thing, dude, and good to know that he remembered Heatblast just before his contract forced him to punch out during that fight.
"Sure thing. If Gramps offends you, then I'll just call you Old Timer to switch things up." I shrugged him off with a smirk.
"You-! Just you watch, I'll get you good when you least expect it!"
"I'd like to see you try... Old Timer."
The lovely sound of Emilia's laughter interrupted our little byplay.
"I'm so glad that the two of you are getting along so well."
"Eh, don't kid around, Lia. As if I'd get along with a disrespectful guy like this." Puck quickly waved a paw in denial.
"Hey, I'm all for respecting my elders. I just need to actually see what I need to respect before I can give it." I shrugged even as the temperature in the room began to fall.
"Popsicle or ice cube? Make your choice..." Puck threatened with a smile that didn't reach his eyes, but I didn't back down against one of the bigger frauds in the eyes of Re:Zero's fandom. As long as Emilia's still alive, this guy isn't capable of doing jack shit...
...Also, I'm pretty much banking on, or hoping, that he's playing along with me. Otherwise, I might legitimately earn his ire.
"See? You two get along so well, right, Ram?" Emilia asked the maid, who still kept her stoic vigil over the entire room, specifically maintaining that intense stare on me.
"No comment."
Man, she's really going to hold what happened over my head for a long while, huh?
As the morning was starting to wane toward noon, Puck and I had to conclude our shenanigans to return to the heart of the matter: the Loot House Incident.
Now, that wasn't the official name of what happened here, but I'll just dub it that for now.
So after I went all "Prominence Burn" on Elsa and hopefully succeeded in putting down that crazy bitch, please God let her be dead, that whole encounter was terrifying, none other than the Sword Saint herself appeared to save me from plummeting to my death.
Now, that was an obvious guess on my part earlier, but what I questioned was what happened after I was saved.
Emilia explained that after she told Adelheid about the attempted assassination on her life by the Bowel Hunter who orchestrated the filching of her insignia, she made sure to vouch for Felt and Rom's innocence before things could escalate. She had even fully forgiven Felt for stealing it in the first place.
Then she mentioned how Felt returned the insignia to her almost immediately and apologized. Emilia didn't know why the girl didn't look her in the eye, but I gathered that the thief was no doubt feeling an unbelievable amount of guilt after her target basically bailed her out from not only death but also getting in trouble with THE Royal Guard of the kingdom.
Then came the parts I knew, such as the insignia in Felt's hand glowing, Adelheid immediately locking in on that, getting a good look at Felt before proceeding to kidnap her.
The crazy part of all of this was Emilia's sudden suggestion for Adelheid to take a rightfully surprised and indignant Rom with her once the Sword Saint refused to elaborate on her actions. She mentioned stuff about Rom being precious to Felt and vice versa, and thus Emilia ended up convincing Adelheid to knock out and kidnap Rom too.
Which... was a slight divergence from canon, but at least the old giant won't have to wander around aimlessly for a month in the Capital wondering where Felt is.
Following that, Ram showed up as the Royal Guard arrived to investigate the scene of the now-burned-down Loot House. Sorry, Old Man Rom. She ascertained Emilia's well-being, Emilia convinced her to help carry me to the Mathers guesthouse in the city, apparently Ram dropped me mid-carry, the bitch, along the way, and that's how we ended up here.
So, all in all, it was almost about what I expected after I stuck my neck out to save everyone.
"Michael, thank you."
With a look of solemn gratitude, the cute Half-Elf deeply bowed her head to me.
"Y-You didn't have to go to the lengths you did to help me and... risking your life for me on top of that as well. I... I just can't seem to find any more words to describe how thankful I am for you being there."
"Ditto," Puck chimed in as he perched on Emilia's shoulder. "You being a scathing punk aside, you sure stepped up when I couldn't stick around to finish that assassin off. For safeguarding the life of my daughter, you have my deepest gratitude."
And noticing the maid behind them, I saw that Ram's intense gaze on me finally gave way to a customary deep bow which seemed just as genuine as the other two's thanks.
Scratching the back of my neck, I awkwardly laughed.
"Hey, it's no problem. Everything turned out for the best. So, let's not get super serious here, you guys. We're all alive, so let's just be thankful for that, okay?"
"Still..." Emilia breathed out, then in, as she lifted her head. Her mien tightened with what looked like guilt.
"What Lia's trying to say is... how can we repay you?" Puck said. "Do you have anything you desire, a wish that you want granted? If it's within my power, I could even make you a rich man on the spot."
"Nah, I'm good. I already got what I wanted out of helping you." I raised one finger. "You got back your insignia." Then I raised my second finger. "And you got to live to see another day. So, I'd say I got everything I wanted already."
Now everyone's gazes were back on me.
"What?"
"Are you sure?" Emilia asked.
Even Ram decided to chime in.
"Although it isn't my place to say, Lord Roswaal would no doubt be willing to repay your efforts for safeguarding the life of Lady Emilia."
Now, for anyone else in my shoes, getting owed a favor from a Great Spirit and one of the prominent nobles, Lugunica's very own Head Court Mage, would be the golden ticket. Plus, I was broke, homeless, and completely illiterate in this world's language, so their support would be a great boon for that too.
It's just that...
The Clown had motives and the power of that future-seeing gospel his goth mommy witch waifu used to dictate his every deed. Also, I wasn't as shameless or driftless as Subaru was to jump at the chance to cling to any support thrown my way. Old Man Rom's assessment of Diamondhead's crystal constructs meant I could easily earn some cash and get some form of stability while I was stuck in this crappy world.
There was also the fact that some of my pride wouldn't allow me to beg them to take me off the streets.
"Hey, I said it before and I'll say it again. I selfishly helped you to get what I wanted, and I'm happy for it." Grunting as I sat up from my seat on the couch, I leaned over to flick Emilia on the head to snap her out of that constipated look on her face. She looked adorable with how she yelped and pouted while rubbing her head.
"I really am glad to have met you, Emilia. Even you, Old Timer." I waved them off, gave a nod to Ram, and began my exit stage left. "Take care of yourselves."
With Elsa dead. Please be dead...
That only left Meili, who was going to stir some shit in the Mathers Domain per the orders of their "Mother." Getting the timing down to fix that was going to be a pain in the ass, but I did make a promise to that crazy bitch to care for her crazy little tyke bomb, so I had to handle it.
I'll just turn into Grey Matter later to devise a plan while I tinker away with the Omnitri-
"Michael, wait!" I stopped midway through fully opening the door as Emilia quickly rushed from her seat to stand across from me.
I awkwardly blinked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"
She had that constipated look on her face again, and Puck was... snickering about something atop her head. What? Was there some sort of internal back-and-forth just now?
"Thank you," Emilia suddenly blurted out.
I rolled my eyes in slight annoyance. "We've already gone over this."
"No, we haven't!" Emilia immediately shot back, stepping closer. "I know you've said that you already got what you wanted from helping me, but that doesn't change how grateful I am!"
"Emilia-"
"And I know!" she interrupted before I could continue. "I know you said you helped me because you wanted to, and that you were happy with the outcome anyway!"
"But even so, I still want to repay you!"
I stared at her. "...Huh?"
"I still want to reward you for everything you've done!"
"Emilia, I literally just said-"
"You also said," Emilia pressed onward with surprising stubbornness, "that you were broke, homeless, and didn't have anything better to do than help me."
"..." Thanks for saying that aloud for new present company to hear, Emilia. Behind the Half-Elf, Ram's stoic expression somehow became even more judgmental.
Facepalming, I mumbled. "...I did…and?" Hearing someone else say it out loud was more embarrassing than saying it myself.
Emilia clasped her hands together before looking up at me with a determined expression. "Then I'll help you with that."
"Hm?"
"You don't have a place to stay, right?"
"..."
"And you don't have money."
I slowly rubbed my hand down my face and groaned, "Yes, you don't have to repeat that part please…"
Puck completely gave up trying to hide his laughter.
"Pfft-"
Emilia took a breath before straightening herself. "Then just come with us to the Mathers Domain."
"...What?"
"You can stay there under Lord Roswaal's care while you get back on your feet," Emilia continued. "We'll make sure you're accommodated properly."
Deadpanned, I took a real good look at the Half-Elf and pinched the bridge of my nose. "...Emilia?"
"Yes?"
"Are you seriously inviting some random homeless guy you met just barely yesterday to crash at your mansion?"
"Yes." Damn, no hesitation whatsoever!
"I know you said you already got what you wanted," she said softly. "I know you helped me because that's what you wanted to do." Then she looked back up at me. "But I want to repay you."
I sighed again, hoping to make my stance clear since there was a lot to correct with how naïve she was despite her intentions being good. "Hey now wait a second look, I..."
"No." Damn at least let me finish, girl.
"...No?"
"No." Emilia shook her head. "Actually... that's not right." She inhaled deeply before placing a hand against her chest. "I don't want to help you because it's the right thing to do."
"I don't want to help you because I feel obligated."
"I want to help you because I selfishly want to repay you for everything you've done for me."
"..." I slowly lifted a finger. "...Did you just-"
Emilia crossed her arms beneath her chest and nodded resolutely.
I pointed at her in complete disbelief. "You-! Did you just use my own words against me!? You can't just do that!"
"Pfft!"
Puck practically doubled over atop Emilia's head. "Pretty sure she did, pal."
"You stay out of this, Old Timer!" I snapped.
"Hey, don't get mad at me just because Lia beat you at your own game!"
Emilia stood firm despite the faint blush dusting her cheeks. "I-I don't really understand being selfish very well..." she admitted. "But if helping people because you want to isn't wrong..."
She squeezed her arms tighter. "Then I want to selfishly help you too."
"...What the hell kind of logic is that?" Completely floored by the proceedings, I desperately turned toward the last bastion of common sense in the room, Ram.
The Oni maid met my gaze then lowered her head slightly.
"Although it isn't Ram's place to speak or judge," she began. "But Ram believes that it would speak poorly of the broke, homeless, and purposeless Mr. Abbot's judgment to refuse Lady Emilia's selfish request." Yo, so in the end you are judging me!
"If Mr. Abbot possesses enough pride to reject assistance despite his circumstances," Ram calmly replied, "then perhaps Mr. Abbot should have first acquired enough competence to support such pride before ending up in the predicament that currently finds himself in."
"...Ouch." I visibly winced at her words.
"Ram merely speaks the truth."
"...Double ouch."
I looked between Emilia's determined expression, Puck's shit-eating grin, and Ram's completely impartial judgment.
"...Shit now I can't help but feel annoyed."
"Hm?" Emilia tilted her head.
I rubbed a hand down my face. "It super crappy having my own words thrown back at me."
"…"
"…But I guess it'd make me a hypocrite if I told you that helping people because you want to is fine, only to reject your help because it embarrasses me."
Emilia's eyes widened.
I let out a long sigh before scratching the back of my neck.
"So..." I muttered. "I'll accept your offer."
For a brief second, Emilia simply stared at me.
Then her face lit up.
"Really!?"
"Yeah, yeah." I waved her off despite the reluctant smile tugging at my lips. "Guess I'm just practicing what I preach."
"Michael!"
Before I knew it, Emilia had practically thrown herself forward and grabbed both of my hands.
"Thank you! I promise you won't regret this!" The sheer joy on her face made it impossible not to smile back.
"...You're weird, you know that?" I huffed, trying to look away from everyone to hide my flustered face.
…Even though I tried to break away from the tried and true steps of canon, Emilia just so happened to drag me back in. Well, I guess I can try to work out a way to deal with Meili while being so close to the area she'll strike. I just have to manage myself around the mentally unstable folks in that damn mansion.
…And almost forgot to cross something off the list to touch my bases, "So say you never really told me what that Inisgnia was for in the first place."
"O-Oh!" The Half-Elf blushed and sputtered before coughing to compose herself. "I got so caught up in everything that I forgot I promised to tell you about it. Well, I'm actually a Royal Candidate for the-."
And like that I learned all that Emilia told me about her candidacy for the position of King for the Kingdom of Lugunica.
"Hey…"
"…"
"You still mad about what happened this morning?"
"…"
"Look, it wasn't a picnic for me either, but Emilia did tell you I can change forms with my metia and you were skeptical about it."
"…"
"You mad?"
"…"
"Y-Yeah, you're still mad."
With things decided that I'll join them back on their trip to the Mathers Domain, everyone began to pack their things. Emilia was joined by Puck to gather her belongings while Ram was stuck doing her duties in preparing the Earth Dragon Carriage for our return trip back home. That also entailed her move crates of supplies and groceries into the carriage's back compartment.
And damn would it be emasculating to see a girl her size lift crates almost as large as I was to the carriage if I didn't already know of her heritage as an Oni. Now here I was pestering her about earlier since I only had the clothes on my back and the few items I possessed in my pockets while she's doing manual labor.
Deciding to extend an olive branch to the Oni Maid, I trailed after her and asked, "Hey, I'm not doing anything important right now so I'm down to help if you need it."
"…" Ram stopped in her tracks then turned back to glance at me carefully. "Your hands…do seem rough despite your odd, neat clothing." She considered it for a second then shook her head. "No, there's no need. You are still a guest."
"A guest who wants to help and who has experience working in warehouses. Moving boxes and inventory around has pretty much been my bread and butter for years." I opened and closed my calloused hand to show to her.
"…Fine." Ram sighed then rolled her eyes as I did a totally necessary fist pump. "Just gather what you can and pace yourself. The loading process takes awhile even with the two of us…"
I gulped as I took in the amount of crates and bags around us, it did make sense that all of this was meant to stock a mansion but sheesh. Thankfully, I know just the guy who can help us. "Two may be better than one but how about-!" I activated the Omnitrix and gently pressed down the dial to my selected alien.
"Three!"
"No, four!"
"Five!"
"Six!"
"Seven!"
"More!"
Ram's eyes did visibly widen upon my transformation into Ditto but she went stock still once she noticed me rapidly multiplying myself to grab anything that needed lifting. The crates, grocery bags, you name it. Some of my clones even took the crate Ram was carrying off of her hands and like a well-oiled machine we managed to get things done in under fifteen minutes.
"Bam! And that's all of your goodies packed away and accounted for!" I exclaimed amidst the crowd of my clones cheering, hollering and throwing each other in the air.
"Ouch!" One of me yelped in pain as some of my other clones failed to catch him. Thank god I got the "Omniverse" patched Ditto otherwise all of "Me" would have felt that.
"Hey chill you mooks!" I loudly scolded them and they deeply bowed their heads to me.
"Sorry boss!"
"Now then Ram…" I used my thumb to cockily rub my nose. "Hopefully my assistance was enough to make up for earlier." I expected her to coldly brush me off or emotionlessly nod, but no the maid was looking at me kind of in a funny way right now. It was honestly kind of scary.
"Meep!" I yelped as she immediately picked up my smaller stature from below the armpits and deeply gazed into my eyes. "R-Ram?" H-Hold on what happened to her not wanting to touch me?
"Be honored, Mr. Abbot, Ram has chosen from this point forward to consider to forgive you and delay your retribution." W-Wait, so you were honestly going to get back at me for that shit, and what do you mean you haven't fully forgiven me? "Although it will be a long road for you to take responsibility for causing distress to Ram but Ram's certain you're continued service will be the first proper steps towards mending this maiden's fragile heart."
"E-Eh?" Sweat began to pour down each and every one of my bodies as Ram looked at me with an intense hunger that didn't sit well in my stomach.
Ah, that's right, I almost forgot how much this pink thot shirked off her work to leave to her sister to handle.
"Now then, there's still some things to take care of inside the Guesthouse. That's why while I prepare the snacks, Ram will leave sweeping the floors, dusting the tabletop surfaces, cleaning the bathrooms…all of the bathrooms, double-checking and straightening the bedsheets, and-."
"Wait!"
"Stop!"
"We ain't your slave, ho-!" One my clones slapped the mouth of the unhinged clone about to sign all of our death warrants.
"We ain't your slave!"
"Yeah!"
All of me below loudly protested and took a stand against the maid willing to hold an earlier accident over my head for free labor.
"Hm?" The intense look she shot my clones chilled them and myself to our very core and like that the Ditto's Worker's Union completely folded. "The Queen has spoken my bruddas, let us away from here! Now!" And like that they escaped into the Guesthouse, leaving the main me alone with Ram.
"You cowards!" I whimpered then jumped as Ram turned back to face herself and for the first time I met her, she shot me a smile and it was not one that filled me with joy.
"Please get along well with Ram, Mr. Abbot."
"O-Okay…" Somehow I made things better between Ram and I to where she'd willingly engage me in conversation. Sad for me that most of those "conversations" were favors from her to help with any chores she couldn't (be bothered) to get to.
"M-Michael, are you alright?" Emilia worriedly asked as we took the Earth Dragon carriage and left the Capital City.
"Y-Yeah, I just need to... need to... catch my breath is all." I took deep breaths to cool myself down. "Pheeew..."
"Seems to me like you should be catching some rest." Puck tilted his head at my sorry state as I pretty much took up the entire end of my side of the carriage's seating to lay down.
"Y-Yeah, I'll get right o-on that... just gotta catch my breath is all." I groaned.
"You just said that..." Puck deadpanned.
"That's good to hear, Old Timer. J-Just let me catch my breath, okay?"
"What happened to you?" Emilia questioned.
"I-"
"..."
My body stiffened once I somehow felt the gaze of something piercing through the cabin wall fall directly onto me.
"Oh, you know, I was in a panic looking for my beanie that I tired myself out before we left. Hahaha..." I lied through my teeth while pushing through the exhaustion that a multitude of my Ditto clones carried after Ram had worked us like slaves.
Then that gaze on me disappeared, and the atmosphere became much easier to breathe in.
"Oh... sorry that we couldn't find it after Sir Adelheid found it." Emilia looked crestfallen.
"No, it's fine... it's fine. I just wanted to make doubly sure that it was nearby." I waved her off before chuckling. "Now then, we were told the ETA was two days, so let's get to talking and getting to know each other until then."
"ETA?" Emilia tilted her head.
I chuckled. "Estimated Time of Arrival. It's just an abbreviation for-"
And with the lamest segue for a conversation to begin ever, Emilia just talked and hung out with me. Puck joined in too, which brought some levity into the mix, and as for Ram... she only really joined the conversation to pull me away to help her, meaning do her job, in gathering and preparing the camp on our first night on the road.
The trip to the Mathers Domain was peaceful and wonderful since this experience was my first time ever camping and roaming through an environment teeming with nature. Sure, the bouts of humidity amidst the ride down the road and the drop-dead freezing cold nights while camping under the night sky sucked, but the new experience made it more than worth it.
Now, I did doze off a little as we finally managed to arrive within the Mathers Domain's territory and drove through the settlement that lay within it, Arlam Village.
"Michael, we're here..."
But a gentle prodding from Emilia as she shook my shoulders to rouse me from my slumber allowed me to breathe in the expansive sight of the Roswaal Manor. It was so fucking huge, bigger than the freaking Amazon Fulfillment Center back home.
Also, this place was where a lot of shit was no doubt going to go down in the future...
"We've arrived." Ram spoke from outside of the carriage as she led the Earth Dragons around to the massive front steps of the manor, where a man clothed in extravagant purple garb, a cape, and ridiculous makeup fit for a clown stood patiently waiting alongside not just one maid who looked like a blue version of Ram.
I was surprised to see that they were outside waiting for us at all, and at such a timely manner at that, but it was no doubt Roswaal's Gospel that predicted we'd be here by now. Even if that was the case, I couldn't help but feel my anxieties flare as we began to disembark from the carriage.
Puck remained dormant within the glintstone adorning Emilia's chest. It was still early in the morning, not even nine yet, meaning the Great Spirit was still out of commission while conserving mana.
Emilia stepped down from the carriage first before turning around and extending a hand toward me.
"Careful."
"...Thanks." I accepted it after only a moment's hesitation before hopping down onto solid ground.
The moment both of us landed, the clown spread his arms wide.
"Welcome hoooome, Lady Emilia and Ram. I am delighted to see that the two of yooou returned safely."
"Thank you very much, Lord Roswaal." Emilia bowed politely. "I'm sorry for causing you concern."
Ram mirrored the gesture with considerably more restraint. "We have returned safely."
Standing beside Roswaal, the blue-haired maid offered a graceful curtsy.
"Welcome home, Sister. Lady Emilia."
"Rem." Ram greeted with a small nod.
For the briefest moment, Rem's gaze drifted toward me. Blue eyes flickered over my figure, assessing me in a single glance before promptly moving away.
"..." Damn, but knowing her initial view on those with the Witch's stench I think I much prefer the cold shoulder to blatant murderous intent.
However the cool reception from her vanished almost immediately once she looked back toward Ram.
"Sister, I am relieved to see that you returned unharmed."
Ram proudly closed her eyes. "Naturally."
Even I could tell there was a subtle warmth hidden beneath Rem's otherwise composed expression whenever she addressed her sister.
Meanwhile, Roswaal's mismatched eyes eventually settled upon me.
"Ooooh?" he drawled curiously. "And who might this yoooung man be?"
My stomach twisted. I could hide behind Emilia, let someone else explain things, or awkwardly wait for introductions.
...Or I could just rip the damn bandage off.
Straightening my posture, I stepped forward before giving as respectful a bow as I could manage.
"My name is Michael Abbot. It's a pleasure to meet you, Lord Roswaal."
"Michael?" Roswaal repeated.
Before he could continue, Emilia hurriedly stepped in. "Michael helped me while I was in the Capital."
Roswaal blinked. "Oh?"
"When Ram and I got separated, I got lost and..." Emilia hesitated before continuing. "A lot happened, but Michael helped me through an incident and even protected me."
"...Sister." Rem's voice softened ever so slightly and quietly as she looked toward Ram. "Why were you not accompanying Lady Emilia the entire time?"
"Ha!" Ram proudly lifted her chin.
"Ram intentionally allowed the separation to occur. Lady Emilia needed the opportunity to exercise greater independence while navigating the Capital."
That was complete and utter bullshit…
Yet the look on Rem's face immediately brightened. "As expected of Sister. Such a thoughtful and brilliant decision."
"Naturally."
The two of them really shared one brain cell and exclusively used it to hype each other up, huh?
While the sisters indulged in their little exchange, Roswaal's attention shifted back toward me.
His gaze lingered.
Long enough that my shoulders began to stiffen.
"Michael," Roswaal began pleasantly, inclining his head ever so slightly toward me. "For assisting Lady Emilia during her time of need, you have my sincerest gratitude."
"Uh... thanks."
"Though I must admit..." His smile widened. "I find myself curious about the exact nature of this 'incident.'"
Yeah right as if you don't already know everything you bastard.
I buried the irritation bubbling in my chest. Hard.
"It was a lot," I answered with an awkward chuckle. "Maybe Emilia can help me fill you in the details later."
Emilia immediately nodded. "We'll explain everything properly together."
"How wonderfuuul." Roswaal's smile remained unchanged. "Then I shall look forward to hearing all about it."
To my surprise, Roswaal extended his hand toward me. "Until then, Michael, allow me to properly welcome you to my estate."
"...Right." I forced a smile before accepting it. "Thanks."
The first thing I noticed was how rough his gloved hands were. Not calloused enough to resemble a laborer's, yet not soft enough to belong solely to a noble who just dabbled in magecraft. Another reminder of how utterly bullshit the early characters in the series besides Reinhard were when in the grand scheme of the Re: Zero world.
I barely had enough time to process the thought.
Because Roswaal suddenly rotated my wrist.
"Huh?"
My eyes widened.
The Omnitrix.
His fingers had turned my arm over just enough to reveal the device.
"Wha-"
Roswaal's gaze fixed entirely upon it.
Specifically...
Upon its symbol.
The genial amusement he'd worn since our arrival remained.
Yet somehow...
It didn't.
"What an interesting Metia," he mused.
My throat tightened.
"It's... uh..." I swallowed. "Yeah. It's a Metia from my homeland."
"Is that sooo?" Roswaal hummed.
His eyes never left the Omnitrix, and something cold slithered down my spine as Roswaal smiled. Every muscle in my body locked up because this smile wasn't the same one from before. The playful eccentricity and flamboyant cheerfulness remained firmly in place, unchanged to anyone glancing at him from afar. Yet beneath that carefully maintained facade lurked something sharp, hopeful, and... angry?
"I would simply looove to hear more about it later," Roswaal said pleasantly. "Before then..." His smile widened. "I would also like to properly apologize and remunerate you for everything that will soon transpire."
"...Apologize?"
The word had barely left my mouth before pain exploded through my ribs.
"GAH-!"
A palm had buried itself into my side. I hadn't even seen him move. My legs shook before they gave way entirely, my body crumpling into the arms of the clown bastard who'd sucker-punched me. Something cracked, and the air violently escaped my lungs.
"Wha... y-you... fucking..."
The world tilted around me as Emilia screamed my name.
"MICHAEL!"
Roswaal's expression blurred at the edges of my vision.
"...My deepest apologies," the clown said softly.
Then darkness swallowed everything.
Darkness.
Then sound.
"...Roswaal... what happened!? Why would you-"
Emilia.
My body felt heavy.
No.
It felt distant.
Like I was hearing everything from underwater while my consciousness struggled to stay afloat.
"...Please calm dowwwn, Lady Emilia."
Roswaal.
"...There is no immediate danger to his life."
"...No immediate danger!? You attacked him!"
The words sounded sharper this time.
Angrier.
"...Lord Roswaal, why!?"
I wanted to open my eyes.
I wanted to tell Emilia that I appreciated the concern.
Instead, all I managed was darkness pressing against the edges of my awareness.
"...I simply require confirmation regarding a suspicion of mine."
Darkness swallowed everything once more.
Then voices returned.
"...Absolutely not, in fact."
"...Noooow, noooow, Lady Beatrice."
"...You barge into Betty's library whenever it conveniences you, dump your ridiculous responsibilities onto Betty, and expect Betty to clean up your messes, I suppose!"
A young girl's irritated voice.
"...It woooooould be a tremendous help."
"...Then it shall remain tremendously impossible, I suppose!"
The darkness shifted.
My body hurt. Breathing hurt. Thinking hurt.
"...Besides, Betty already told you that Betty has no interest in associating with outsiders..."
"...He iiiiiis Emilia's guest."
"...Then Emilia can heal him herself!"
"...Lady Beatrice."
"...Don't 'Beatrice' Betty, I suppose!"
Silence.
Then footsteps.
Closer.
"...Hm?"
The irritation vanished from the girl's voice.
"..."
"..."
"...W-Wait."
Something warm brushed against my wrist.
"...Y-Your..."
The haze clouding my mind briefly thinned.
I could almost feel someone's stare boring into my arm. "...Betty's..."
The girl's voice cracked as I felt some wet falling onto my face, but anything more than that. I haven't the faintest clue. The darkness just seemed to consume me once more.
Then...I woke up.
The darkness receded from my mind, and eventually my consciousness returned to me. The unbelievable pain that had racked my entire body was entirely gone.
Instead, I felt so warm and cozy.
I blinked sluggishly up at an unfamiliar ceiling while sinking deeper into what had to be the most comfortable bed I'd ever had the privilege of lying in. Seriously, this thing was criminal. If Heaven existed, I was pretty sure they'd outsource their mattresses from whoever made this.
"...Mm..." My vision refused to cooperate.
Everything looked blurry.
The luxurious room around me bled together into indistinct colors and shapes, and I could only vaguely make out sunlight filtering through drawn curtains somewhere nearby.
Had I died after all?
No...
No, I didn't feel dead.
Just too damn tired.
"...* ***e **o."
A soft voice drifted through the haze.
I frowned.
"...Huh?"
"...* l*** **o."
The words came again, muffled and distorted as if I were listening through a thick pane of glass. I blinked repeatedly before lifting my free hand to rub my eyes, my head feeling heavy as the blurriness slowly and painstakingly began to recede.
The first thing I noticed was the sensation of something small wrapped around my hand. It was warm and gentle, yet surprisingly firm. Looking down, I found tiny fingers clasped around my much larger hand.
"...?"
My gaze instinctively followed that small hand upward until blonde curls framed by pink ribbons and a pair of large blue eyes finally came into focus.
A petite little girl sat beside my bed, clutching a black tome tightly against her chest with her free arm. Her expression rested somewhere between uncertainty and apprehension as she stared directly back at me. For several long moments, neither of us said anything while my sleep-addled brain struggled to process the absurdity of the situation.
Spoiler: Are you-?
Little girl. Fancy room. Black book. Twin-drill blonde. Blue eyes.
...
...
Oh.
Oh wait, isn't this...?
I barely had enough time to piece together exactly who I was looking at before the girl finally broke the silence.
"Are you Betty's 'That Person'?"
Silence settled over the room as I stared at her, while she continued staring back at me with that same uncertain expression. I took a deep breath in before slowly letting it out through my nose.
"...Oy vey..." I groaned, dragging a hand down my face before letting my head sink back into the absurdly comfortable pillow beneath me. "...Can't I get, like, ten more minutes before dealing with Echidna's bullshit?"
AN: Well, I hope that you guys enjoyed the chapter and sorry if it dragged on in the beginning a little. Anyways, now we're entering Arc 2 with so many changes happening right off the bat. Also, blame Luck & Fate guys, I used a coin toss to determine whether Frederica gets introduced early as another change in the state of canon events. Obviously, fate was not too kind for our Tall, Sharp-Toothed Blonde Maid. Oh well, she'll make her debut soon enough...
Anyways, I hoped that you guys enjoyed the chapter, I'm Out so Peace Out and have a lovely day! Like Quote ReplyReport Reactions:I like murder drones, Kukahi Kauwe, Cessau and 168 others