"Well, isn't this a complete clusterfuck?" Ren jovially asked, and Temari, who stood next to him, instantly grabbed his forearm, giving him an urgent look that screamed 'Shut up!'.
He only smiled at her, pretending not to notice the heavily displeased looks of the Sunagakure council members who sat in front of them behind their round table in the council chambers.
Emergencies in the hidden villages did happen, but they were far less common than one would think. Even during wars, the violence seldom reached the actual villages. This bombing inside Sunagakure was enough to mobilize the entire village.
Every single council member was present in the room, and Ren secretly watched them like a hawk. He suspected the mastermind behind the assassination attempt was among them. His insensitive remark was just him fishing for a reaction, but unfortunately, he wasn't lucky. Nobody seemed to react out of the norm.
Ren knew that one of them was actually Sasori's spy. But he didn't know which one. It has been many years since he found himself in this world, and there were many things he had long forgotten. He was honestly surprised by how much he still remembered, but that was most likely because of reading Narutoverse fanfiction.
You can have a plot repeated to you only so many times before you learn it by heart.
But the details? The little things that seem inconsequential for the bigger picture, but when he actually got into a situation like this, they were what mattered the most? Yeah, he was blanking on those.
For example, that girl with a nuke jutsu inscribed on her back. She was Hot-something? Hotaru? Well, that was just his guess. He knew exactly nothing else than that about her or that entire filler episode. Except, it wasn't just a filler episode anymore, was it?
Somewhere, there was indeed a girl who carried a nuke on her back in this world, and knowing her identity would have been nice. If only to not find himself in the same city when she was about to make it into a smoking crater.
The name and appearance of Sasori's spy were the same thing. Ren never considered it important in his past life. All he remembered was that the man had a... goatee?
Looking at the Suna council members, Ren's lips twitched.
Seven of them had a goatee!
This was so freaking frustrating. In the end, for all Ren knew, it might not even be that guy! If Akatsuki wanted to kill him, he would probably have Tobi sneak into his room or something. He wouldn't be facing three chunin suicide bombers. That didn't seem like their modus operandi, but then again, what did he know about their modus operandi?
The only real clue he had was that his assassins were Suna ninjas and the guy who tried to throw the blame at him afterward. It just made sense that somebody high up in Suna's council would have a hand in it because, really, who else could set that up? But it was hard to pick the mastermind who most likely disliked him enough to arrange his assassination from a bunch of people who were already very unfriendly to him.
Most of them were low-key glaring at him anyway.
"Have some respect, boy. People from our village died because of you." Sawada Akito, a severe-looking man, snarled at Ren in fury as he, with gritted teeth, barely restrained his chakra from lashing out.
Ren impassively looked at him and shrugged.
"Nope. That's not what happened." He corrected him. "People from your village died because of other people from your village. I didn't attack them."
His casual reply did not sit well with many council members, and their faces either darkened or became cold, all the while Ren secretly scanned all of them for any clue or hint of anything other than a normal reaction.
The problem was...
Nagara Shizumu looked at him with a disapproving frown, which was definitely different from her usual hidden disgusted look.
Mamoru Hideki seemed just as furious as Akito, which was different from his usual, calculating, and sly, polite smile.
Kawano Kei was observing the argument impassively, but seriously, which was different from his usual lazy contempt that Ren observed in the previous meetings.
He could go on. But instead, he inwardly groaned at the bullshit he had to deal with. He really hoped the clone he put to tail the delinquent wannabe Jonin would have better luck than him.
"You disrespectful b-" Akito abruptly stood up, banging his palms on the table while making the chair screech against the floor as his legs suddenly pushed it back.
"Quiet." That was the moment Ebizo finally interjected in the situation. Preventing it from spiralling more. "We are not here to bicker like children. I understand that tempers are running high. I am sorry for your loss, Akito." Ebizo wearily sighed, and Ren's eyes slightly widened as he understood the implications.
He suddenly felt a bit guilty at being such an ass toward the man.
He glanced at Temari, just out of instinct, rather than any deliberate action, but the blonde girl noticed and gave him a small, sad smile while mouthing a silent, 'Daughter,' to him as she motioned with her eyes toward Akito.
Ren inwardly winced. Yeah. That would explain his fury, alright.
"But I need all of you to keep your cool. Somebody subverted three of our ninjas and gave them an unsanctioned assassination mission, resulting in the biggest tragedy in our village since the Ichibi was last unleashed." Ebizo gravely said, and Ren noticed how his eyes were also roaming across his colleagues' faces.
That was surprising. But then again, maybe not? The old guy was simply older. And most definitely more experienced in this sneaky, scheming way of ninja life. Ren probably shouldn't have been that surprised that he easily came to a similar conclusion as him.
"What makes you think they were given an unsanctioned mission? Were the three assassins identified?" Yura, another councilman, asked.
"Indeed." Shizumu turned her green eyes toward Ebizo, the frown on her face deepened, making some of her wrinkles more obvious, "After our recent little... spat with Konoha, I wouldn't be surprised if tempers ran a bit high and somebody's presence in the village might seem like a provocation to certain elements in our ninja forces."
"Shizumu..." Ebizo helplessly grumbled, making the woman dryly chuckle.
"Just saying, Ebizo." She unrepentantly shrugged, going as far as giving Ren a challenging look that he answered with a polite smile. Clicking her tongue, she continued, "My girls hear a lot of... rumors. You know that. Half the village wants to kill the wonder boy over there." She waved her hand toward Ren. "It doesn't help that the Konoha whelp is so obviously dicking down our Princess."
Ebizo gave the old woman a 'must you?' look, just as Temari went beet red from embarrassment, letting out a quiet, whiny groan that everybody in the room heard because... ninjas.
"Oh, don't look like that, girl!" Shizumu huffed in amusement at Temari's aggrieved expression, bringing some levity into the grave atmosphere in the room. "Take some pride in your body and the fact that you can keep going for six hours straight. I am honestly impressed."
"How the fuck do you know that!?" Temari screeched in outrage, and it was enough to make a few people in the room chuckle, until they remembered the situation, and with a grimace, their mood soured again.
"I am this village's spy master." Shizumu rolled her eyes in a 'Isn't it obvious, duh?' kind of way. "Besides, Kankuro loves to complain about the noise. He isn't as quiet when he does as he thinks he is, either."
Good to know. Ren secretly took a note of that. It seemed that there were ears and eyes everywhere in Suna, too. He decided to be a bit more careful in the future. He had no idea this woman was the spy master of Suna, either.
With that, Shizumu ignored Temari's quiet whimper and turned back toward Ebizo, her expression turning severely serious. "So, my question?"
Ebizo nodded. "They were indeed three elite chunin from our villages who found themselves in a tough financial situation. Our ninjas tried to get to their families as quickly as possible, but they were too late. Two families were butchered shortly after the bombing." He sighed, "We reached only one family in time."
Ebizo paused, and both his and Ren's attention on the councilmen intensified. This was it. The reminder that some key witnesses were still alive.
Since two of the ninjas had their families, wives, children, and even infants in one case, mercilessly slaughtered by unknown assailants, somebody was trying to hide something.
If somebody was going to react...
"Fortunately, the wife of Amari Ryo knew a bit about her husband's upcoming mission." Ebizo continued... but much to his and Ren's disappointment, nobody looked nervous or tried to hide a twitch of annoyance.
Everybody's reaction was normal. There was excitement and anticipation. Nothing suspicious. Ren balled his fists in his pockets from the sheer frustration he felt.
Couldn't the perpetrator just make a mistake? Like in those detective movies? Fucking trained ninjas and their perfect power faces.
"They apparently received a mission from the village to assassinate Ren over there. One they could not refuse, but that also paid well." Ebizo informed his colleagues, who became surprised at that, and soon enough, suspicions started to rise because these old foxes realized what he was not telling them.
There were only so many people capable of pulling a stunt like that in the village. And the majority was in the room.
Unfortunately, Ebizo and Ren still didn't get any damning reaction out of anybody.
The mastermind was smart, too. They chose three elite chunin who might find their orders suspicious, but would be too desperate for money to do the sensible thing and ask the higher-ups questions about their supposed shady mission.
"However, the bombing was not in the plan, according to Ryo's wife. Her husband had no idea the disguise provided to him in a sealing scroll had explosive seals sewn into the inner parts. Nor did he know the poison was highly lethal. She stated it was supposed to be paralytic poison at worst."
The air in the room turned morose. As it was, people were still dying in the hospital from the brief contact they had with the poisoned smoke. It was slow-acting, but very, very lethal.
The village did not have enough antidotes.
"Likely story to avoid guilt." Akito gritted his teeth, his eyes blazing with desire for revenge. "How certain can we be that it wasn't the Konoha ninja with access to the Kazekage Tower and a wife who could easily falsify those orders?"
"Are you accusing me of something?" Temari straightened up and coldly stared at the man.
"What if I am, girl?" Akito asked just as coldly, both his and Temari's body language betraying that they were preparing for a clash.
"Or-" Ren intervened with a casual tone as he stepped slightly in front of Temari.
He exchanged a quick look with Ebizo, and Ebizo nodded in a silent agreement.
An amused smirk appeared on Ren's face, one that infuriated Akito enough to get his full, hostile attention on himself, "The answer is actually much simpler." Ren hummed, "The perpetrator is one of you." He easily said, making many councilmen bristle at the accusation.
But Ren didn't care and just raised an eyebrow at the obvious man in charge. "Ain't that right, Mr. Ebizo?"
The tension in the room intensified, becoming almost unbearable...
When Chiyo suddenly jolted in her seat, loudly enough to break it. "Huh?" She sleepily looked around with a senile expression, "I think I must have fallen asleep. Did I miss something?"
Ebizo closed his eyes and groaned as his head sank, "Sister..."