(Vivaan's POV)
Dark night, dim lighted room and silence.
It's a dangerous combination.
But then, a softness, a gentleness. Kruthi. Still wrapped her arm around me, thinking it somehow could calm me down and spare me from killing her.
Was I this scary to her?
I'd be way happy if it was someone else. I loved control. I loved when people cowered in front of me. Power? yes.
But not her.
Every time she withdrew, I felt this deep ache in my abdomen. As if someone has punched my gut numerous times. And don't even get me to her tears. I can't see them. I don't care if people judge me. I.CAN'T.SEE.MY.WIFE.IN.TEARS.
I looked at her, whose head was on my chest, body pressed to me.
Was she really scared?
The car incident, the first day of marriage, the following few days of marriage...
Defiant, always following herself, challenging me.
I felt a bloom in my chest. Slow, slight, instant.
An excuse to get close to me, huh wife?
But then another thought-
I went far today. Grabbed her neck.
My breath became uneven ever so slightly. Disgust from myself. Grateful for her acceptance and forgiveness and blessed to have her taking care of me.
She's understanding.
I can never bear the thought of letting the truth out.
Rushaan will win. He'll take Kruthi away. This family will separate us. They'll know that this marriage is a contract not arrangement...never love.
I needed Kruthi with me.
Atleast now.
Until her safety is assured. Until I know who the hell leaked my video in the media if not her. Until I find my purple butterfly.
When she asked me about the reason of my anger, I flared up again.
But something stopped me to react aggressively. Her presence.
I clenched my jaw and told her everything she needed to know.
"Rushaan. He's involved with illegal activities. One I didn't know about. I got to know the crime deeds of Ayesha's father."
She stared at me for a moment. Not surprised. Searching.
"This reason isn't enough to flare someone's anger so badly." She said softly in a low tone.
My inner self told me to hide it from her.
She doesn't have to know. But then an urgency. A reminder.
'If she won't, who will?'
I opened my mouth to speak finally, after a long time. After hiding this all in my heart for years.
Someone to listen, someone to trust.
"Look at this image Kruthi." I unlocked my phone and opened that picture. The members involved.
She stared at it for a moment.
"Yes... so what?" She asked me curiously, confused.
"This is Rushaan (I pointed in the picture.) This is Ayesha's father, Mr.Khandelwal (Points at his picture) and this... (Points at the third picture, but jaw clenches in extreme anger). This is Ajay. Rushaan's ex manager."
She stared at me still confused.
I sighed. Kept the phone aside.
"You love stories Kruthi?" I asked her while laying down again.
She blinked taken aback. I knew the change in conversation. But I'll let it all out. I won't hide it anymore today.
"I... don't know what you mean but yes, I do." She said confused, eyes squinted and laid down next to me.
I wrapped my one arm around her again.
"Comfortable?" I asked her, calm, cold, but concerned. She nodded. Relief.
"Ajay was Rushaan's first secretary. In our company, as you work, you must have noticed that every celebrity, popular or fresher is appointed a manager, a secretary. So did Rushaan. And honestly, Rushaan made it her because he's family, or that's what they all say."
I sighed; my eyes fixed on the opulent ceiling wall above me. The one who had always witnessed me at my worst.
And her eyes, fixed on me.
"Ajay and Rushaan were classmates. So ofcourse, Ajay knew our family. We all went to same school, me, siblings, and Ayesha's family. When I became the CEO of this company after my parent's demise, everything was well until..."
I paused.
A deep exhale.
"The third year. I noticed, Naina's frequent visits in the company. Me and Naina are real siblings, so indeed she concerns me. Ajay and Naina started to get closer. Somehow that bothered me, but I said nothing. It was Naina's choice at the end. But then something happened which scared me to death. One day, Naina went with him, saying it was for work. Didn't return until midnight. I summoned all the guards to search for her. And they did find her. In an alley, she was arguing with Ajay. She was blind in his love, and he was blinded by using her for property and all. He wanted a share of company, he forced her for that... he beated her also. And she excused it saying it was his stress."
I sighed, glanced at Kruthi.
She was listening. Still.
Why was she listening? isn't she bothered by my constant speaking?
I continued anyways, I can't leave the things in middle. She needs to know this.
For her.
For... me.
"I could have even ignored that. But then... I came to know that the demise of my parents, was caused by a planned murder, not accident. And Ajay, was involved in this all."
Kruthi's eyes widened slightly.
Her hand clutched around me just a twitch.
"T... that means that somehow, Rushaan was also involved?" She asked with a stammer.
"Maybe. Or maybe not. I don't know. I need to search for this."
"Your parents..."
Before she could say anything more, I paused her in between.
"Don't say Kruthi. I hate them too. Let's just say, I didn't have a nice childhood." I stated bluntly.
"Neither did I." She whispered.
Lowered eyes.
Soft enough.
As if she too was telling this to someone for the first time...
I wanted to hear. But didn't want to push her.
"Witnessed domestic violence?" I asked her. A simple answer.
She nodded her head softly.
"My father hoped I'd die... everyone wanted me to die the very day I was born, except my grandparents and my mother." She whispered with a slight choke.
I slowly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
"I understand. I don't judge you for that ever... hate them as much you want. But you aren't allowed to hate me."
"What if I do?"
I glanced at her sharply.
"I won't give you a reason to."
"What if you do?"
A pause.
"Then you won't have to do anything. Even I'll hate myself for that."
The night grew darker.
More silence.
Until,
A knock.
Kruthi looked at me in surprise, a hint of fear.
Another knock. Louder.
I stood up and signalled her to not speak anything while padding silently to the door.
Who could be here at this time?