Where is he?
What is he doing?
What is he thinking about?
Is he happy?
Does he think of her?
Even though she really doesn't want to think about these questions, truly, the more she tries not to, it feels like a curse, as if she's trapped.
So she realized that she genuinely liked Di Mingchen, and she liked him a lot, so much that she couldn't help but think of him all the time.
This kind of life is really hard to endure!
Especially because this man has rejected her time and again, and though she has a thick skin, after all, she is still a girl.
You can't just cling to a man who doesn't want you like a piece of gum.
So she didn't want to do that; she felt there was dignity to uphold. Liking someone is one thing, but it takes a lot of courage to cling and a strong heart that remains persistent even when faced with setbacks.
She's afraid she might not be able to handle it. What if she collapses, utterly hurt and torn apart?
