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Naruto woke up to find himself in an enormous room.
The floor was some kind of stone so smooth it reflected the ceiling back at itself. The walls were a flat white unlike the wooden textured he was used to in Konoha. A large black rectangle hung on one wall.
What is that?
Naruto didn't give it much mind. he was exhausted and sore in places he hadn't known could be sore. But he was... alive. All limbs and internal organs accounted for, which was more than he had expected.
The boy knew that something bad had happened when he was consumed by the black coffin yet he couldn't remember anything about it. Maybe that was for the best.
A noise broke through the young boy's thoughts.
A clicking sound cutting through the quiet of the room in short insistent bursts.
Two girls sat cross-legged on cushions near the wall, heads bent toward glowing rectangles they were each holding in both hands. The first had long caramel hair twisted up into a loose bun, brown eyes that were currently completely occupied by whatever was on her rectangle. She wore a short plaid skirt in dark green and navy. A soft oversized cream-colored knit sweater hung off one shoulder, and white platform trainers. The second had short dark brown hair in a neat bob with a straight fringe sitting symmetrically above her eyes. She wore a fitted pastel lilac hoodie tucked into high-waisted wide-leg trousers in charcoal grey with white chunky sneakers.
The language coming out of them was unrecognizeable to the young shinobi.
"Where am I?"
Both heads came up instantly. As one of them shouted something at the door that he couldn't understand at all.
Several people came through the door. A woman around Kakashi-sensei's age with dusty-pink hair.
Is she related to Sakura? Naruto wondered glancing at man with a scar on his face. He was wearing a regular headband which made him touch his bare forehead. I need to get a new headband from granny tsunade.
The thought didn't stick long as a tall man in gold and black robes with long dark hair crossed the distance between them in a single movement.
Fast.
He clasped Naruto's hand in both of his and began speaking. The words came out with energy and apparent meaning, but were directed at the boy that understood nothing.
"I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU," Naruto said, loudly, as if speaking louder was gonna make it better.
The monk tilted his head, and then he snapped his fingers.
Something appeared in the air beside him.
An elongated, bright yellow, leech-like fish. It transitions into shimmering gelatinous scales near the belly. The vibrant neon-crimson fins running along its sides pulsed in sync with surrounding brainwaves. A head that looks like someone fused a human skull with a bottom-feeding catfish.
The young shinobi's hand caught the "fish" as it tried to fly into his ear. His hand was already moving to crush it when the monk's palm came down gently on his arm.
"What is this thing?"
The monk pointed at the thing in Naruto's hand then at his own mouth.
"I am not eating this thing."
"..."
The monk made a talking gesture and pointed at the fish.
The boy humnmed for a moment before deciding to trust this monk.
He seemed friendly enough.
The thing launched itself at his ear. Its mouth, lined with microscopic, squirming cilia, latched hungrily onto his ear canal with a wet, vacuum-like seal.
A split second after it latched, a bizarre sensory overload slammed into his brain.
A deafening, chaotic static filled his head, sounding like a billion people screaming all at once. His eardrums throbbed as raw mental energy surged through his skull, forcing his thoughts to violently warp and reshape.
"Get off," he hissed ready to use chakra. "Get off get off get off what are you doing on my ear get OFF—"
"Hello."
Naruto froze as he finally understood what these people were saying. No, this thing over his ear had spoken or rather translated the words directly into his skull.
"My name is Surgu Geto. You gave us quite the scare."
"Sorry about that." The young shinobi rubbed the back of his head. "Name's Naruto Uzumaki."
"Nice to meet you. Hope the cursed spirit isn't too uncomfortable. We need that to talk to each other."
"It's gonna take some getting used to." Naruto poked at his ear gingerly. "But what even is this thing?"
"A cursed spirit born from the fear of miscommunication," Geto said. "Its cursed technique feeds on brainwave energy from the people around you and telepathically excretes a translated mental matrix straight into your mind. The practical result is that anyone wearing it can instantly understand any language spoken to them. We can also understand you as the fish releases a CE pulse when you speak."
"Neat," Naruto said, having understood roughly none of that. "So, where am I?"
"You're in the House of the Children of the Stars," Geto said.
"I don't know where that is."
"Tokyo."
Naruto had never heard of this Tokyo. Then again, geography had never exactly been his strong subject.
"Do you know how far I am from Konoha?"
Geto looked momentarily confused as one of the girls said, "Hang on, let me look it up."
"I hate having to rely on an invention of those monkeys."
"Google is just the fastest way to find it, Geto-sama."
Naruto looked between them. "Wait. Monkeys invented Google?"
"Regrettably."
"That's actually kind of impressive. Dattebayo."
"It is not impressive."
"No offense, but if monkeys made this then I think monkeys should be running stuff."
Everyone around them was trying not to laugh. Geto's expression didn't change at all as Nanako said, "No results on this Konoha. Any other name for it?"
"Forget it. Do you have a map or something?"
"If Google doesn't know it," the other girl asked, "what makes you think a map will?"
"Atleast I know how to use a map."
"What? You know how to use a map but not google. Have you been living under a rock?"
"Does it matter if I know what googol is?" Naruto said, irritation creeping into his voice.
"Google," Mimiko corrected.
"I don't care, dattebayo."
The older woman, stepped forward and held out a large flat pink rectangle of her own, lit up with what appeared to be a map. "Why don't you just find it on this?"
"What do I do?"
"Use two fingers. Like this." Mimiko demonstrated on the air, pinching and spreading.
Naruto tried it.
The map under his fingers lurched and zoomed with a speed that made his stomach drop. The image was sliding and rotating in ways no physical map had ever done. The boy made a small involuntary noise and almost dropped the device entirely.
"Careful," Suda said, holding it for him.
He tried again, searching for anything that looked familiar.
Nothing.
No matter how far he zoomed, no matter which direction he dragged his finger, the shapes on the screen looked nothing like any map he had ever studied at the Academy. The coastlines and landmasses were wrong. Entirely new countries were there while there was no trace of his own.
I've a feeling we're not in Konoha anymore.
"What is going on..." Naruto said, his voice rising slightly in a panic. "Do any of you know where the Land of Fire is? Wave Country?"
Blank looks all around.
Nanako snorted. "Who the heck names their countries like that?"
But Naruto wasn't listening. His fingers moved across the glass with a growing urgency. He tapped something he hadn't meant to tap. The screen lurched into a street view. The road was full of vehicles unlike anything he had ever seen, and the buildings rose up on either side went taller than any tower in Konoha.
"This isn't real," he whispered. "This has to be a dream."
His brain automatically kicked into ninja survival mode, trying to make sense of the weird worldf around him. Okay, okay, calm down, look for the trick, he told himself, his chest tightening. Is it a genjutsu? Did some enemy catch me off guard?
Geto and the rest watched the color drain slowly from the boy's face as he bite his lip strong enough to draw blood.
When suddenly Naruto's stomach growled. Completely unbothered by the existential crisis happening one floor up in its owner's brain.
It was the perfect distraction.
The loud rumble violently broke the boy's terrified train of thought, bringing him to a problem he actually knew how to fix. He had already gone through more than enough for one day. More than enough for one lifetime, honestly. But he couldn't figure out this giant, scary new world on an empty stomach anyway.
The room went quiet as they saw the panicking boy snap out of his freak-out, and offer them a confident Naruto grin.
"So, what's there to eat? If you guys have ramen, that'd be awesome!"
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The boy practically inhaled the food the moment it touched the table. Despite the parade of flavors he'd never tasted in his life, his attention kept drifting back to the things bringing the food out.
A small docile creature with two eyes, eight legs, and a pair of curved horns balanced a tray on top of its head.
"What... are these things?"
Geto smiled. "Is this your first time encountering a cursed spirit?"
Naruto nodded.
To everyone seated, the boy carried an unfathomable amount of cursed energy. The idea that someone with that much CE had never once encountered a curse in his life was strange.
"A cursed spirit is a being incarnated from the cursed energy that humans leak out over time." A faint curl of distaste crossed the monk's mouth. "Born from negative emotion like fear, hatred, shame etc that's accumulated into a shape."
"Interesting," Naruto said, reaching for a plate.
A piece of food slipped off the edge and fell straight through the creature carrying it. The little thing paused, picked the fallen piece up and trotted it dutifully to a small bin in the corner.
Naruto froze.
"Something wrong?"
"A-are c-curse spirits..." Naruto's voice came out thin, his whole body suddenly vibrating like a plucked string. "Are they GHOSTS?"
"Hm." Geto considered the question with a level academic interest. "Well, during the Ashikaga period, cursed spirits were in fact referred to as ghosts. Some older sorcerer clans still favor the term yokai."
The history lesson did nothing to help. Naruto was sweating in buckets at the realization that he was surrounded by ghosts.
"Don't tell me you're scared of ghosts," Nanako said taking a pic of her food.
"There's one right behind you," Mimiko added.
Naruto spun around so fast he nearly knocked his chair over. Both girls dissolved into laughter. While the little eight-legged creature looked genuinely sad by the reaction.
"For shame," Nanako said.
"You're such a meanie, Naruto-san."
"Hey, you two are not making me the villain here." Naruto crossed his arms. "I have been scared of ghosts my whole life, okay."
"Why?"
"Because they're ghosts. Ghosts are scary."
"You don't need to be afraid of anything here," Geto said, his smile easy. "Remember it's a cursed spirit that's letting all of us have this conversation at all."
"I guess." Naruto eyed the creature warily as it returned with another tray.
"So where are you from?"
"Konoha. Land of Fire."
"Right, but where is that?" Nanako squinted at him. "You've got blond hair and blue eyes, that's mostly a Northern and Northwestern European thing." She turned her phone around, showing him a row of photos of fair-haired Norwegians.
"His face shape isn't really European though," Mimiko pointed out, leaning over to look. "Maybe he is a mix between japanese and european."
Naruto stared at both of them with a lost expression. "Konoha's a hidden village full of ninjas."
A pin drop silence formed as everyone turned their head to naruto even the cursed spirits.
"Ninja," Mimiko repeated, her eyes lighting up like someone had just handed her a present. "Can you do Bunshin no Jutsu? Can you throw shuriken? Can you do a fireball jutsu?"
"Come on, sis, ninjas can't actually do all that," Nanako said, waving her hand dismissively. "That's just stuff from old manga and video games. Real ninja were just spies who snuck around in plain clothes to steal secrets."
A puff of smoke rolled across the table.
As three identical Narutos stood behind the original with a smug expression that screamed. Who's the real ninja now?
Mimiko clapped.
"So what? You are clearly using a CT? That doesn't mean you're a ninja." Nanako turned slowly toward the original, who picked up a paper napkin and folded it into a shuriken. He flicked his wrist and it caught her square in the middle of the forehead.
"Ow!" Nanako hissed, rubbing her forehead.
Her face flared red with embarrassment and anger. She whipped out her cell phone, clicking the screen awake to use her cursed technique. But the moment she opened the regular camera app, her fingers froze completely.
Curses and Curse Technique effects never showed up on normal technology. She had to use CE on her phone to capture such things. Yet, her phone was tracking six distinct, high-definition blond kids.
"How?" Nanako muttered, her anger completely evaporating into pure confusion. "They're showing up on my regular camera. Geto-sama, these aren't shikigami or projections. He literally just multiplied his actual flesh and blood!"
Geto watched the clones dissolve back into smoke one by one. So, he has a cloning cursed technique that makes "real" clones?
"Geto-sama, what are we going to do?" Suda whispered as a curse spirit created an invisible barrier around the adults. The kids didn't need to hear this.
"Do about what, exactly?"
"This boy doesn't recognize cursed spirits, yet has a cursed technique." She kept her tone measured, but the concern underneath it was clear. "And he belongs to a ninja village."
Historically, shinobi within jujutsu society were sorcerers groomed by great clans to handle the work that was too dangerous or too dirty for them.
"My dream is to create a world without cursed spirits. You already understand what that puts us at odds with, Suda."
"And you're willing to risk a confrontation with one of the three great clans," Negi asked their leader, "if they come looking for the boy?"
"Of course." Geto's voice didn't waver. "Naruto is part of this family now. Both of you remember that."
"Yes, Geto-sama."
"Now then..." The monk turned the barrier off. "Girls, don't be rude to our guest. And Naruto..."
"Yeah."
"I don't know where Konoha is, or what exactly it is. But you are welcome to stay here for as long as you need."
"Really?"
"Of course. Consider this your new home now."
Naruto bowed a little awkwardly, clearly unused to receiving such a favour. "Thank you."
"Girls, why don't you show Naruto around and help him pick a room?"
Nanako and Mimiko appeared besides the young shinobi with their arms locked into Naruto's. They dragged him toward the hallway with a stream of competing suggestions about which room had the best view.
Suda watched them go, her expression still unsure
"Manami-chan." Geto whisphered to her. "I know you worry about everyone under this roof. That's part of why I trust you with it. But that boy is going to bring us a step closer to the world I'm building. I need you to trust that."
"I understand, Geto-sama."
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Author Note:
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.
We're starting to build up the dynamic between Naruto, Geto, and the twins, so expect things to get even more chaotic as he tries to navigate his new "freedom" here.
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Q: Wait, why could Geto talk to Kushina and Minato just fine, but he needs a weird cursed fish to understand Naruto?
Okay, so cursed spirits actually have this neat little built-in cheat code where they can speak directly into a person's brain, completely skipping any language barriers. This is from canon! Hanami, the giant plant disaster curse, communicates telepathically with Megumi, Yuji, Todo, and the others using raw intent rather than actual words in chapter 44. Since Kushina and Minato are vengeful cursed spirits in this fic, they can do the exact same thing with Geto.
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Q: Is that cursed translation fish a reference to the Babel fish?
Yes and no!
Visually, the curse itself is heavily based on the Ningyo, which is the legendary "human-fish" from Japanese folklore.
But the actual mechanic of its cursed technique? The instant, universal ear-translation? Oh, that is 100% a massive shoutout to the Babel fish from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
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Q: Why the heck is Naruto so terrified of ghosts?
Honestly, this is mostly just my own personal headcanon rather than strict canon. My take is that Naruto's fear stems from being right next to the actual Shinigami (Death God) just minutes after he was born. On some deeply buried, pre-verbal instinctual level, any mention of ghosts or spirits probably triggers a weird, involuntary echo of that terrifying moment.
Or, you know, he's just a kid and ghosts are inherently spooky. Both options work, take your pick!
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Q: Do ninja even exist in the Jujutsu Kaisen world?
Surprisingly, yes! There's actually an unnamed sorcerer dressed in full shinobi gear who helps Gakuganji hunt down Yaga at one point in the manga.
But the much bigger example is Takako Uro. She was the captain of the Sun, Moon, and Stars Squad, which was an elite, covert assassin unit serving the Fujiwara Clan back in the Heian era. So, shinobi-adjacent stealth squads definitely have a historical foothold in the JJK universe.
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That's It… For Now.
I want to thank you all for taking the time to read, comment, and follow along with this story. Your feedback means more than you know, and it helps push me to make each chapter bigger, sharper, and more true to the worlds of Naruto and Jujutsu Kaisen
Until next time,
There are only so many seats open in my life, and I don't want to let my heart be swayed by anyone who's not sitting in one of them. Of course, there are also people like you who bring their own seat and sit down
-Adam-