Sometimes, life just leads you to strange places.
Like me, Half-Devil, son of the current Lucifer, all-around heathen and heretic, having a meal with the strongest man of the Church. The violence of Heaven, the man who can square up and punch gods all through the power of his faith.
It should also be noted that said meal is a wild boar that he had accidentally killed when he got shot out of a magic cannon.
I was mentally doing the calculations of that whole thing while he was skinning it, but it got to the point where I decided it was ridiculous enough and mentally threw up my hands.
But I also wanted to try it now.
Why did no one tell me that the Church has a big fucking cannon to shoot priests across the world?
If there was ever anything that the Devils needed to steal, it really should be this.
I don't know why they would need it, but the thought of them firing Devils out of it fills me with an odd sense of amusement.
A random thought: I wonder how many calories Father Swole eats a day. Though, the answer is probably irrelevant. Considering I could realistically eat my body weight if I wanted and still be fine.
With how much power is pumping through his body, he could probably not eat for months at a time and not feel uneasy.
"May I ask about the devil you keep at your side?" After a long while, Father Swole finally asked me the question.
He was stacking firewood up and laying out the wild boar's body over top.
"Prisoner." I said simply. "Should be one of Rizevim's minions. He killed all the others and managed to save this one for some interrogation."
"Thank you for answering." He said politely, not asking for clarification.
I just hummed to myself.
I like Father Swole; he's a nice guy.
"Would you happen to have seasonings on you?" He asked.
"I sure do!" I smiled happily, taking out my literal spice rack. "Feel free to choose what you want. I even have some spices from Japan if you're feeling adventurous."
"How convenient. I'm always open to try new things." He took things that I'm fairly sure he didn't even check what they were, but he was seasoning different places of the boar's body with various spices I had.
Among other staples, of course.
Salt, pepper, some garlic, onion powder, and various herbs.
An odd mix all together, to be sure, but hey, it was already smelling delicious.
"I got some cooking foil; we can wrap it to speed up the cooking by doing some stronger flames." I offered, setting it out as well.
He took it with another nod of thanks.
"I have a question, if you don't mind, Father Swole."
"I'm happy to answer any questions I'm able, young man." He smiled warmly.
"Have you ever visited Heaven?" I was curious about that.
He shook his head. "I will not see the Pearly Gates until it's my time. However, I had been offered the chance. I did not believe it proper to see until my work on this Earth is completed."
"How's the whole thing regarding Angel conversions going? Are you going to become an Angel?" I continued my questions to pass the time.
With but friction from his fingers, he started the fire.
I added a bit of magical fire too, just a tad, to flare it up a bit. If we didn't want to sit here for half a day while this cooks, we needed to be a little creative.
"They are prepared to begin the process." He said casually. "But that is supposed to be a secret for now. Please don't spread it around."
"My lips are sealed."
So they managed to figure it out, go figure.
"And I will not become an Angel. My life will be fulfilled as a human."
"Funny, Jeanne said something similar." I chuckled.
Though, it's questionable if being a Heroic Spirit counts as 'human.' I think it's more of a concept in your heart, really. Many Heroic Spirits still consider themselves human despite everything.
"Miss Arc is an intelligent young lady." He nodded in approval.
And now I miss Jeanne.
I mean, it's been only a few days, but I wanted my lewd Saintess.
"Your arm looks hurt; do you need healing?" He suddenly asked.
I looked at the arm in question; it was just a bit scraped, in all honesty. It probably looked worse than it really was.
I waved it off. "It'll heal in a bit."
My Aura was already working on it.
I did, however, grab the remnants of my shirt around my arm and rip it off so it was less annoying.
Regardless, I did sit down cross-legged and make sure to look myself over, inside and out.
The first thing I noticed did surprise me a bit.
Huh, the tree inside me grew a bit more. About another foot.
I wasn't quite sure what it meant in totality, but my instincts told me that it was important for something. I continued to sit there and meditate a bit. The techniques that Yoruichi taught me were helpful just for calming oneself down.
I was still annoyed by Rizevim and his whole…thing.
But I eventually let out a sigh of relief as I felt my annoyance alleviate quite a bit.
Getting upset over something like this wasn't worth it. Compared to other things I have to worry about, what's one Rizevim?
I admit, it was like looking into a strange, albeit distorted, mirror of myself. And if I wanted to be over analytic, it was one possible outcome I could have also had. Granted, no matter how many issues I have or what I go through, I don't think I'd ever willingly pick stupid evil as my ideal.
I'd like to think if I was going to be evil, I would at least be intelligent and meticulous about it. With a goal in mind and not doing idiotic things like killing my subordinates just because I was annoyed.
I mean, how many minions does he really have that he can just casually kill a few dozen like that?
Stupid, it's really stupid.
It's not like this was grunt work either. Admittedly, they weren't the cream of the crop, but research, testing, and experimentation took a certain talent!
And I'm annoyed again.
Peace.
I refuse to have some kind of depressing episode where I go, 'That could have been me!?' and get hung up on it.
I'm far too selfish to care about that sort of thing.
I opened my eyes, stretching my arm. I checked my phone to see that, surprisingly, over an hour had passed. I also played with it for a moment to find the pictures I saved, and I looked at the picture of Raikou reflected in the mirror with her shirt pulled up, giving me a little wink.
And like that, all is right in the world.
"It smells good." I stood up, stretching for a bit. "Sorry, didn't mean to go quiet for so long."
Father Swole just smiled politely. "It's no matter. It should be done soon."
I moved the cooking foil a tiny bit to peek inside and could see that it was looking very good.
"Is it common for you to come shooting out of a cannon towards that dumbass devil when he appears?" I asked.
"He does not appear on this Earth often. But I must be prepared; thus, I stay in the Vatican for most of my time."
That would explain why they don't have him running around flexing at other factions.
"I wouldn't think he warranted such a reaction." I confessed. "While he was strong, I didn't think he was stronger than some of the other Devils down below."
"Compared to the two called 'Super Devils' that reside within Hell, Rizevim is not the strongest. Sirzechs Lucifer is the strongest Devil ever recorded within the Archives of Heaven. And Ajuka Beelzebub has a mastery over the concept of magic that allows him to stand together. Just as well, Rizevim also holds the title of 'Super Devil.'"
"You know, I don't think I've ever even asked someone what a 'Super Devil' even means. I always considered it just a really powerful devil. Like a God-level Devil in essence."
I never cared enough about Devils to ask someone before.
I knew the term 'Super Devil,' but I wasn't quite sure of the technical definition of it.
"A Super Devil is a Devil that has transcended their species." He answered. "Sirzechs Lucifer through his Power of Destruction that allows him to destroy nearly anything in creation. Ajuka Beelzebub, through his Kankara Formula, that allows him to alter the world like a deity. And lastly, there is Rizevim Lucifer."
"Is it his so-called 'Denial of Miracles' that he was flaunting?" I rolled my eyes.
"The Church's records state that the Lucifer bloodline holds the ability to reject the Lord's miracles. Be it his Light or his Creations. That extends to his Sacred Gears that he blessed humanity with. However, that is not what makes Rizevim Lucifer a 'Super Devil'."
That would be kind of dumb if it did. Compared to being able to become a mass of conceptual destruction or the rumors I heard about the supposed Kankara Formula and Ajuka's abilities, it seemed…lacking.
"His status as a Super Devil comes from his origin, the source of a Devil's power at its core."
"Demonic Power." I clicked my tongue. "That makes sense now; that's why he had so much, isn't it?"
He nodded. "It's not a simple matter of him possessing a large amount of such power from birth. Just as devils increase in power through time, so too does his own demonic power increase exponentially."
He's constantly growing stronger at an exponential rate.
That makes much more sense and is kind of frightening.
Out of the three 'Super Devils,' he's probably the 'weakest,' yet his upper limit is completely unknown. He hasn't reached any noticeable peak from the way Father Swole spoke.
"That's bad." I decided on.
"Yes." He nodded.
"I assume you're not deployed just to 'scare him off,' then, are you?" They probably really want him dead. But the fact is, Heaven and the Church can't really do anything about him realistically.
"They would consider a few countries destroyed to be 'acceptable losses.'" Father Swole responded, and he very clearly didn't sound too pleased by his own words.
"If I ever corner him somewhere without collateral damage, I'll be sure to give you a call."
"Do you intend to chase after him?" He started to pull the boar off the fire, carefully peeling away the layers of cooking foil.
The smell was wonderful.
There's not much that can beat a campfire cookoutin the wilderness.
"Not intentionally, but it seems like he's going to be a problem now." It made me annoyed, but I easily pushed that down. "He seemed pretty upset with me at the end. Frankly, I think he came at me expecting a friend and is mad I rejected him."
Father Swole looked amused by that. "There is talk on if you are to be classified as a Super Devil as well."
I nearly snorted at that. "Really?"
"Does it not fit?" He questioned. "Though, I believe many will be worried that you may fall into the clutches of Lucifer's progeny now."
"...because I'm a supposed Super Devil as well, and we had one interaction where we ended up briefly fighting." I rolled my eyes. "Then again, I'm not surprised at that kind of paranoia coming from the Church. Regardless, I find it nearly impossible for me to ever consider being his ally. Our ideals are too far apart; he had no understanding of what it means to be weak."
Funny enough, I could potentially see why I would get the label of 'super devil,' despite my disdain for it.
I mean, I'm what…a dragon, devil, human, divine, angel, tree, or other thing?
I'm pretty far beyond a 'normal' devil, and if I wanted to toot my own horn, I would say I have transcended my devil species as well.
But then again, I'm half human, which kind of muddies the waters when it comes to more stringent labels and definitions in the first place.
Oh well, I don't really care.
"Here, catch." I took out the Eye and tossed it to Father Swole.
He caught it unconsciously, then seemed to want to say something, but then he just stared at the Eye for a good several moments before tossing it back to me.
"I don't know where you obtained that, but it isn't meant for me; I can feel that much from it." He spoke calmly.
Huh.
I just wanted to see if there would be a reaction from the Eye since it's, you know, the violence of Heaven holding it.
One of the most pious and strongest men on the planet.
He didn't ask me any other questions.
I politely waited for him to finish his prayer before I joined him in eating.
I pulled off some meat and swallowed it happily.
Delicious.
The wild boar was cooked to perfection despite us sort of rushing it. Normally something like this, especially this size, you want to do low and slow, but we really sped things up by probably 12 hours.
I felt my phone buzz while eating and took it out.
Yasaka had sent me a text.
Yasaka: Are you busy?
Wilhelm: Not particularly. Something wrong?
Yasaka: Need help.
Wilhelm: Danger?
Yasaka: Politics.
Wilhelm: I think I'm suddenly busy.
Yasaka: Noooo, come help. Too many egos crammed into one room.
Wilhelm: What do you need me to do?
Yasaka: Come to my home; Soma will meet you outside. Make yourself everyone's problem.
Wilhelm: I do believe I can do that.
It seems Yasaka wants me to swing my proverbial dick around. I assume she's handling a bunch of gods arguing right now, and it's getting out of hand.
"Well, Father, this has been wonderful. But I have certain matters coming up that need my attention. Since you arrived here in such a…unorthodox manner, would you like me to give you a quick step back home?"
"I would be thankful for the assistance, young man." He smiled warmly, hefting up what still remained of the boar—quite a bit, actually. He ate in a rather reserved manner. "The children in the orphanage will quite enjoy this as a treat."
Oof, that hit me in a soft spot.
"Hang on, I got some sweets; take these back to the kids too." I shuffled through my storage, taking out various things. I eventually just took out a container and put the stuff inside that to make it easier to carry.
I didn't know he helped at an orphanage, but I didn't doubt he did so.
I snapped my fingers, giving him a portal back to the Vatican.
He didn't reject it, so I assumed my little bit of magic wouldn't cause any big commotion or anger.
"Oh, before you go, do you mind punching me real quick? Just give it a good amount of power."
He blinked. "You wish for me to strike you?"
"For performative reasons. Need to make a little bit of a statement when I go back home. There's a bunch of gods and other factions arguing, making Yasaka annoyed." I gestured to him.
There are times in one's life when you immediately regret things.
I think this may be one of them.
Have you ever looked up and someone was doing the equivalent of hitting you in the face with a mountain?
That's what Father Swole's fist felt like.
I took it intentionally.
And I'm not ashamed to say he knocked my ass flat onto the ground.
It made me dazed for a few moments as I lay sprawled out on the ground, staring at the sky. I commended his ability to hold back, as what remained of the forest around us had barely even shaken.
"Thank you." I held my hand up.
"Have a good day." He smiled.
He said his final goodbye as he went through, and I shut the portal behind him.
This was nice. I mean, owwwwww, but it was still nice.
I should invite him out to go fishing when I do so again with the other guys.
My legs wobbled a little as I stood up, but I was good. Ah, my nose is bleeding. That's…good too; it's what I wanted, I think. I'm starting to wonder if I had any real plan in mind when I asked him to do that.
He may have knocked that original thought out of my head somewhere.
Regardless, I look a little more beaten up now, like I had properly been in a fight at least.
I had to stop myself from fixing my clothing. It was almost a reflex at this point.
I opened my own portal and headed back home with my little prisoner in tow.
[Line Break]
I stepped out a bit away from Yasaka's compound, and as soon as I touched the ground, Soma emerged from the mists generated from his Sacred Gear.
"Young Lord, the Lady requested me to greet you upon arrival." He knelt down.
"Soma, what's the issue?" I looked up at the sky; there were quite a few different auras that sort of flared up that were causing the sky to become rather chaotic.
"Many different factions have been…arguing." He responded.
"Ah." About what I expected. "Give the staff a warning; I will be heading in. Wait, can you take this with you?" I pointed at the Devil on the ground, still 'bound' by my talisman. "Put him in a cell or something, please."
He nodded, disappearing, presumably to warn Yasaka's people that I was going to be making myself everyone's problem. The Devil also got swept up in his mists, taken away for safekeeping.
They've all gathered here to discuss things related to the humans stuck in the Fae Lands. It's no small matter either; many of them are strong.
A lot of them reached high-class levels just from existing and surviving. Imagine what they could achieve with proper guidance. And they were humans, one of the races with the most adaptability and potential, even if it was difficult to bring out normally.
In this day and age, this kind of thing is on the rarer side. And here there are hundreds of humans available 'for the taking.'
It would be stranger if arguments didn't break out.
I stretched my arms, then cracked my neck.
Slowly, storm clouds began rolling in.
I made them loud on purpose. Lightning and thunder boomed as they gathered in intensity.
Then I released my spiritual pressure.
Yasaka's compound shook as it began to weigh down everywhere.
I began to walk inside, pushing open the front doors without a second thought and without reining myself in.
This should be a good reminder that this place wasn't somewhere they could misbehave without consequences. Doubly so for the fact that Yasaka was seemingly stuck in the middle. There wasn't much I could do on the political side of things to ease her worries, but if she needed me to be a big stick to swing around, I would be her big stick.
I could pick up the various godly presences deep inside, and I could feel them lock onto me as well.
They were easy enough to track down and maneuver towards. It wasn't a part of her compound I usually visited, but all the same, I found my way there.
I pushed the final door open and was greeted by the sight of a great many deities and powerful entities gathered in one room.
It reminded me of the Peace Conference all over again.
Round two it is then.
Odin was there, and Thor as well.
Lugh was present, with one of his fellow deities, whom I couldn't name just from looks.
Amaterasu and Susanoo were sitting together, doing their best to pretend to be polite. Probably because Izzy was also sitting between them.
Azazel, likewise, was still here. He had already been explained, but I was confused as to why Serafall was here as well.
Same reason?
Try to nab some potentially strong humans?
I wouldn't be surprised.
Maybe they're just here to support Heaven because Gabriel and Michael were present.
Indra.
I locked eyes with him briefly, and he didn't look all too pleased to see me.
Couldn't imagine why.
Athena and Hermes, from the look of it, are representing the Greeks too.
And…was that Anubis? I didn't know the Egyptians had a stake here, but I also wasn't the one keeping track of everything.
Also, it's strange for them to send him, but maybe not. Izzy did tell me that they were well acquainted and met up every now and then to catch up.
"Hello, Dear~" Yasaka greeted me rather intentionally. "You look like you've been through a fight."
"Oh, just had a run-in with a certain Super Devil from the Khaos Brigade, nothing to worry about." I said casually, taking a seat next to her.
Lastly, besides Yasaka, Raikou was here too.
She smiled as I sat down with them.
Having Raikou here was smart, a tactical daughter to keep Indra from getting too arrogant.
"You fought Rizevim!?" Serafall broke the silence of everyone else as she slapped the table, standing up.
I glanced at Yasaka, and her smile slowly grew, and I could see the twinkle in her eye as she realized what I was about to do.
Yasaka was very clearly not in a good mood based on what's been happening.
I looked at Serafall with a faux bit of confusion on my face. "Sorry, who are you again?"
[Line Break]
A/N
If you want to read 10 chapters ahead or support me, visit my p.a.t.r.e.o.n.c.o.m / astoryforone
I also have a boosty if you can't use the above under the same name