Lately Yamanaka Inori had been slowly losing the intimate grasp of herself that she always prided herself on.
"To truly grasp the hearts of others, you must first have a complete hold of your own." This was one of her deeply held beliefs.
The Yamanaka jonin always periodically reserved time for introspection, a sort of self check to make sure she was still fully in control and on top of her game.
Small adjustments during these sessions were not at all rare.
Deep meditation with self reflection helped her find situations that affected her more than she realized or hang ups that she, unknowingly, did not fully get over, things like that.
Discovering these small problems before they festered and began mentally affecting her, undoing these knots before her performance started suffering, that was the core reason for her consistent successes as a kunoichi over the years.
However, a certain white haired boy had destabilized her once unshakable mental fortress and now, Inori was changing in ways she did not fully understand.
For someone who had such a complete grasp of themselves for years, such a reality was not comfortable at all.
In fact, one could even describe it as frightening.
"When did it all start?" Inori asked herself.
"It was the first time I sensed him wasn't it . . ." It did not take more than an instant for her to arrive at the answer to her previous question.
She was not completely lost, she knew why and how her tight hold on her own self slipped.
What the Violet Rose could not accurately grasp was what exactly changed within her.
Inori sensed she was not the same.
Intuitively, she grasped that.
However, when it came to logically self analyzing, everything seemed the same to her.
'It is not that surprising to be honest. Most people can't tell what is off about themselves until the change manifests itself in response to a stimulus.' She clinically analyzed herself.
Always confident in her ability to self-assess, Inori simply did not think it would ever be her turn to have such a mundane issue.
"Ever since I sensed that heartless void within him . . . I started changing . . ." The Violet Rose talked to herself as she sorted her thoughts.
She mentally went back to those times.
Five years.
In some ways, they went by so fast she barely noticed them, it felt like it all went down last week.
In others, it left like it was all a lifetime ago.
"Before, I could always view things from the "outside" and act with detachment but ever since I "looked" into that Hollow, I was pulled in. I lost the ability to be impersonal about it." Inori muttered.
Carefully combing through her thoughts and decisions ever since she became the Jonin Sensei of Team 6, the Yamanaka kunoichi could find contradictions so obvious that it was hard to believe she had missed them.
For a ruthless spy like herself to grow attached to her Team so fast, fight for them, protect them,, sacrifice for them, feel guilty over her scheming behind the scenes . . .
It was an obvious sign her mental defenses, the wall she kept around her heart were already compromised.
At the time, Inori had told herself she was tired of all the scheming, all the subterfuge, all the betrayals . . .
However, a year ago when she unhesitantly threw herself back in the game but on Shiki's side after Root interfered with her Team's mission, the Violet Rose had done so with glee.
Like the ruthless kunoichi that reveled in her power to manipulate others and bend them to her will was just waiting there, never having left.
In the end, there was only one conclusion.
"Staying on Shiki's good side seems to be the driving force of most of my decisions during the past five years." Inori noted with some shock.
Being the retired spy turned Jonin sensei who wished to fully step onto the light to appear less "threatening" to the boy and then returning to the cruel puppeteer of hearts when it looked like he would value such a version of herself more.
She even shared manyu of her secret techniques and tricks, things that, as a kunoichi, she valued above almost anything.
"I was . . . I am . . . scared . . ." Inori could scarcely believe it.
It was all so . . . utterly plebian.
She felt that heartless emptiness within Shiki and was struck with fear.
Since that moment, the Violet Rose had done her best to assuage those fears by trying to placate and even please their source, Shiki.
But it was not just that.
It was not just fear.
It was . . . longing.
A form of obsession really.
For a woman who excelled at bending the minds, wills and emotions of others, she had discovered something beyond all of that.
To Inori, Shiki's inner Hollow perhaps represented the ultimate indifference she pursued, the ability to never be hurt from the heart . . . Just as she hurt others.
As she spent more time with the boy, the Violet Rose could say with certainty that he was not unfeeling, emotion was the spice of life and if Shiki's state required losing it, it was not worth chasing.
Thankfully, that was not the case.
And so, even if for completely different reasons, yet another female joined the growing Club obsessed with Shiki.
"Being caught spacing out is not like you, Inori-sensei." The familiar voice of a white haired boy sounded out, his gleaming purple eyes looking for any unusualness.
Inori had been doing some thinking while waiting for Shiki.
He had already helped out Mei and Shinka, it was now her turn, in the interest of fairness.
"Just thinking about you." Inori casually responded, though she carefully eyed the boy for his reaction.
Shiki cutely tilted his head, as if wondering how was he supposed to interpret those words.
"Being made speechless so easily is not like you, Shiki." The Violet Rose smirked.
The boy shrugged.
"You win this time." He did not try to make any excuses.
"So what about me was Inori-sensei thinking of?" Shiki asked.
"My growing obsession with you." Inori straight up replied with disarming honesty.
The boy paused again.
'Is Pedomaru not the exception but the rule in this world? Am I truly living surrounded by pedos?' He dazedly wondered.
"You do realize how wrong that sounds right, sensei?" Shiki questioned.
"Not just sounds wrong, it blatantly is." Inori replied.
The woman was a shameless, unrepentant criminal that sounded extremely proud of her deviancy.
And just like that, Shiki was rendered speechless for a third time in a row.
"Nice to see you Inori-sensei! Shall we get right to developing the jutsu we planned?" The boy spoke in a chipper tone.
Being shameless was not Inori's exclusive right.
Shiki, without even bothering to try and make a smooth transition or redirect the conversation, straight up acted like he just arrived and was only now greeting his sensei.
As if the previous exchange was but a mere figment of the imagination.
However . . . would the currently slightly unhinged Inori just accept that?
The Violet Rose just showed a sunny smile in response to the boy's words . . . And then proceeded to hug him, pressing his head right into her breasts while she rubbed her face on his soft white hair.
'What the hell is wrong with her!?'
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Hey, Author here!
To promote the novel I will be releasing BONUS CHAPTERS on SUNDAYS based on the previous week's power stone count.
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Just a reminder that you can read up to a FULL MONTH ahead of this site on pa-treon.
I'm trying to become a full time Author now and I'm not going to be starting any new novels just so I can make sure this one is properly completed.
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