The first thing Leansei heard was birds. Thin, bright chirps that cut through the dark behind his eyes. The second thing he felt was softness. A mattress that gave under him like it had been paid for and the scent that lingered in the amalgam of smells in the quadrangle room made him feel unpleasant.
He slowly opened his eyes, Sunlight hit them like a blade. He shut them again, breathing hard. He turned his head and looked around the room, but all he could see was blurry vision.
He slowly sits up, but pain split behind his temples, clean and sharp. He gradually got off of his bed as he grabbed the IV line tugged at his arm. He stood, holding the pole, and shuffled to the bathroom with steps that didn't feel like his own.
He turned the faucet to splashed his face, but when he opened his eyes, all he saw was what was near, the sink, his hands, clear. but when he looked far away, it was blurry of the mirror, the door, a fog. Leansei started to panic rose fast and hot as he got out of the room. His sight might be blurry, yet he can see the place a little bit.
' What happened to my eyes? Did I go blind? ' As that thought began to occupy his mind, He stumbled out of the bathroom, one hand on the wall. The room tilted. He sat on the edge of the bed and swept his hand across the bedside table, searching for his phone. His fingers found and grabbed a pair of glasses instead.
Leansei put them on and he could finally see things clearly. The world snapped into place. He exhaled like he'd been holding his breath for years. He was confused but, at the same time, happy that he was alive and that he wasn't blind (atleast).
The room does not look like a hospital room. Not the kind he knew. High ceilings. Dark walls. Air that smelled like cedar and citrus from a diffuser in the corner. A TV mounted on the wall. A chair that probably cost more than his monthly rent.
The thought came before anything else. "Can I even afford this?" He pulled the IV out with shaking hands, pressed cotton to the spot, and found a duffel bag on the chair.
' How did I get here? No—what happened? '
He walked towards the bathroom again and accidentally looked at the mirror. Leansei feels like his soul has departed from his body when he plunges into the floor as he's got out of balance when walking backwards.
Leansei regained consciousness, dazed by a loss of thought. He sat there, dazed, heart hammering. Then he forced himself up to looked again. He's too stunned while looking at his face. The face in the mirror wasn't his. It was younger. Softer. Clean jaw, nerdy glasses, and innocent eyes. Bruises bloomed across the cheekbones, forehead, neck, and the mouth, but underneath them was a face that had never known hunger.
The face he's looking at right now isn't his face or the body itself. He immediately ran towards his ward bed to see who owned this body. He tore open the bag, saw a wallet, a phone with cracked screen, clothes were folded too neatly.
His breath caught. He doesn't have any idea of what happened. This was the kind of thing that happened in books. In movies. Not to people who worked three jobs and ate cold rice.
Leansei was full of thoughts when someone suddenly opened the door.
"Honey, it's unbelievable, he—" Leansei flinched as he glanced at the door when a woman stood there. Mid-30s. Dark brown hair, long, perfect. Dress that looked like it cost a month of shifts. Perfume that filled the room before she did. Behind her, a man. Mid-40s. Hair cut close. Suit without a wrinkle. Face like carved wood. No expression. All weight.
They looked at him. Then at each other.
The woman's face crumpled.
' Oh, shoot! Who are they? Did they come in the wrong room?'
She ran toward him and hugged Leansei tightly. The woman starts crying while hugging him.
"My baby," she whispered, and crossed the room in three steps. She pulled him into her arms.
She smelled like warmth. Like safety. Like something Leansei had never been allowed to have.
"Why did you do that?" Her voice cracked against his shoulder.
Leansei glances at the man behind them, and he has expressionless face with a full dominance aura.
He didn't move. He didn't know how.
The man hadn't moved either.
' These must be his parents. He really looked like them. ' Leansei looked away as he had never felt this warm feeling for a long time. He never got to experience it, even when his parents were still alive.
The woman let go of him and looked at his face and body to see if there were any injuries.
Leansei couldn't open his mouth to speak nor find the words to talk to them. He doesn't know who they are or even what is going on since he transmigrated to this body. It's quite impossible if you think about it.
"The doctor says you can go home tomorrow," the woman said softly. The man exhaled through his nose.
"You know that what you did was completely stupid?" He said flat. I cancelled my schedule for this. It was such a waste of time," a voice from the man said. The word waste hit harder than the slap from last night.
He looked down as he clenched his hand into the foam mattress. He never got to hug or talk to his parents when they were still alive. Instead of receiving love, he received a beating from his deceased father.
Leansei couldn't believe that he even got to transmigrate from this body, but he still couldn't receive love from the shadow. Now he knows that the owner of the body isn't on good terms with his dad.
Atleast he doesn't beat him like Leansei's father did.
"Honey, Don't talk to our son like that!" The woman snapped, pulling back to look at Leansei's face, checking him over with hands that trembled. The man hissed and walked towards them. "Son, can you remember me? I'm your mother, and that man is your father."
Leansei couldn't look up. Because he didn't know what to do with kindness that wasn't earned. Because the body he was in remembered beatings too, just a different kind. Because he was a stranger wearing someone else's skin. Leansei thinks that Kean is lucky enough to have parents with a stable life.
' What did he do to be in this kind of state? Much more importantly, why did I transmigrate to this body in the first place? For what reason? '
"Kean, honey," the woman touched his shoulder.
He flinched. Then, barely audible: "I… I don't remember you." He said, The woman went pale. The man caught her elbow. They looked at Leansei in surprise.
"Hon, the doctor also said a while ago that he may have amnesia because of what happened," he said quickly while trying to calm his wife. Leansei just looked down since he didn't have enough courage to lie to them nor could he find the words to tell them that he wasn't his son.
It might not be a good option.
"Rest, I'll take your mother home. " The man said. "We'll come back tomorrow to take you home." The father of the owner said and gently assisted his wife out of the room. Leansei gave a deep sighed as he saw the wallet on the table.
He flipped the wallet open and scanned it.
He saw an ID from VCHERIAN UNIVERSITY and a name along with the student number.
The owner's name is Kean Gavin Ferech, and he is 19 years old and a senior high school student.
The name sat in his mouth like a stone.
Leansei immediately grabbed the phone and opened it. It has a crack from the screen, but it is enough to read what's in it. That's why Leansei irritatedly put down the phone and lay down in bed, staring at the ceiling. While thinking of what he would do with this life.
He tried to pinch his cheeks hard to see if it was a dream.
' This is not a dream. If it was a dream, I'd wake up. This is worse. ' He pinched his cheek hard enough to bruise. It hurt. So it wasn't a dream. If it was, it is a nightmare for him.
Leansei gets off his bed and walks out into the corridor. The nurses' station was twenty steps from his room. It felt like twenty miles. Leansei moved fast, bare feet slapping against the polished floor, the hospital gown tied loose at the back. His head still rang. The glasses sat crooked on his nose.
He looked around and immediately covered his nose. Since then, he has developed a strong aversion to the smell of hospitals.
One of the places that Leansei despises is hospitals. Other than the scent, he has had bad experiences with hospitals. He really can't stay longer in it.
When he finally got to the counter and asked, "Excuse me, can I use your telephone?" The nurse looked up. Her eyes went wide. She took in the bruises, the hospital band, the borrowed face that didn't match the name on the chart.
"Y-yes, sir. Here it is." Her voice stumbled as she slid the old corded phone across to him.
He nodded once. His hands were shaking. He dialed from memory. A number he'd called a hundred times in another life.
It rang. Once. Twice. Three times.
And then:
[ Yes? Samgyupsal restaurant. What can I do for you? ] A man's voice was tired and sullen. The same voice that used to yell at him for being five minutes late. Leansei opened his mouth and stopped.
Because the name on the ID in his wallet wasn't Leansei.
Because the face in the mirror wasn't Leansei.
Because if he said it's me, no one would believe him.
He swallowed. "I would like to ask for Mr. Ty." Leansei said, in line. The other side of the line gone Silence. A few seconds too long.
' Did something happen? '
[ H-he isn't here. What do you want from him? ]
"He left something in my house"
Another pause. The line crackled.
[ Y-you— sorry, I have to go. ] a sound of a click. The dial tone buzzed in his ear.
Leansei stared at the phone for a second, then set it down gently. "Thank you," he told the nurse, though she hadn't done anything. He walked back to his room on legs that didn't feel steady.
He changed fast and wore a white t-shirt, denim jeans, a black jacket, and a black cap. e kept his head down as he passed nurses in the hall. When the automatic doors opened and Lemous City hit him all at once. The noises, views, glass buildings reflecting the late afternoon sun. Cars moving like water. This was the center. The heart of it. He'd only ever come here for one reason: Grandma Delin. Tyvan's grandmother. The only person who ever told him he was worth the visit.
He touched the wallet in the jacket pocket. Five thousand pesos. Folded neat. More money than he'd held in months. Enough for a Grab. Enough to go anywhere.
He stepped to the curb and flagged one down.
The car pulled up, black and clean. The driver rolled the window down. "Where to?"
"What day is today?"
The driver glanced at him in the rearview. "Sir. Wednesday."
Leansei gasped when he realized he sat back against the leather seat and closed his eyes.
A week. He'd been gone for almost a week. "And today is April 20th," he said, more to himself than to the man driving.
The air left him.
april 20th.
Leansei signed as he glance outside the window.
"In the Lemous Memorial, please." The driver nodded and merged into traffic.
He just realized that today is the 4th death anniversary of Grandma Delin. Leansei looked out the window and watched the city slide past. He'd told himself he wouldn't come. Tyvan's voice was still in his phone, cold and final: Don't visit Grandma anymore.
But promises didn't care about warnings. He'd told Grandma Delin he'd come every year. Every single one. To break it now would be to admit she was really gone and he wasn't strong enough for that yet.
The car stopped at the gates twenty minutes later.
The memorial was quiet. The kind of quiet that made the trees sound louder. It was past four. The wind moved through the branches and made the air feel like hands. Like someone was standing just behind him.
He found her stone as he kneels and wiped it down with his sleeve. Brushed away dust and wet leaves.
"Hey, mama." He whispered. "I'm sorry I'm late. I don't have your favorite flower. " He became emotional while gently rubbing her grave. "I'm here... now," His voice cracked on the last word. He was feeling despondent about what was happening around him.
He knelt there and didn't cry. He didn't know how to, not in front of her. But his chest hurt.
Grandma Delin had been the only person who ever looked at him and didn't see a bill to pay. She gave him rice when he was hungry. She told him he was allowed to be tired, and to cry. When she died, it felt like someone had cut a piece out of him and left the wound open and unhealed.
"What are you doing here?" The voice came from behind him. Leansei froze. He didn't turn. He didn't even breathe. He knew that voice even how many years it has been.
He stood slowly and Tyvan was there. Older. Taller. A black v-neck under a long wool blazer. Trousers. Shoes that didn't get dirty. His hair was cut neat. His face was the same, but harder.
He was looking at Leansei like he was trying to place a stranger.
"I'm asking you." Tyvan said in a confused tone.
"I came here because my parents told me so." He abruptly said without thinking. Leansei almost cursed himself since he doesn't even know if Tyvan knows Kean's family.
He said, kneeling in front of his grandmother's grave. "That's what Aunt will ask you to do."
' He knows about the ferech? how deep? '
Tyvan didn't answer. He walked past Leansei and knelt in front of the grave.
"Hey, Ma," he said, soft. Softer than Leansei had ever heard him and It was different from how he talked to Leansei. "I brought your flowers. I'll be the one bringing them from now on." He set down a bouquet of white chrysanthemums. Grandma's favorite.
Leansei looked down. His fists were clenched. Don't visit Grandma anymore. That's what Tyvan had said on the phone.
Leansei turned to leave when Tyvan pulls his hand. He paused. Leansei couldn't imagine he would meet Tyvan again for so many years.
He hadn't been touched like that in years. Not with purpose. Tyvan pulled him through the cemetery, past the stones, past the old women selling candles, all the way to the parking lot. A black car waited.
"What are you doing?" he said and yanked his hand back.
"Driving you home," Tyvan said and opened the passenger door.
"I can go home by myself." Leansei said something that made Tyvan furrow his eyebrows.
Tyvan's eyebrows pulled together. "You might get into trouble again." He said it like a fact. like he'd known. Then he nudged Leansei into the seat and shut the door.
The engine started.
Leansei stared out the window.
' Kean and Tyvan must know each other. They must be close. ' He'd never seen Tyvan's soft side. Not once. Not like this.
Tyvan reached over.
Leansei flinched and grabbed the seatbelt himself, clicking it into place before Tyvan's hand got there.
The car pulled out.
Silence. As much as possible, he doesn't want to be near him.
' This is how Tyvan deals with others. But why is he like that towards me? What did I do to offend him? '
"I heard what happened,"
Leansei didn't answer.
"It's not really a big deal." Leansei kept his eyes on the road. On the buildings. On anything but Tyvan's profile.
"You should be grateful you're alive."
But inside, his thoughts were running.
If he was in Kean's body…
Then where was Kean?
The thought hit like ice.
' What if Kean is in my body? '
' What if Kean woke up in that tiny apartment with the leaking faucet and the envelope under the floorboard? '
' What if Kean missed his shift tonight? and lose all of my part time jobs?'
' What if Mr. Bien came back two days ago. '
He cursed under his breath.
It was impossible. But so was waking up in a hospital with someone else's face. So was drowning and breathing again. Theres no impossible at this point.
That's the most miracle thing that could happen in one's life.
' I must go back to my body. I can't be fond of these people. I might ruin Kean's life. '