『His PoV』
There was once a dream I had.
A strange dream where I couldn't control my own body and could only watch as it moved on its own. It felt similar to watching myself as a character, unable to even see my own face, and yet somehow I still knew that person was me.
More importantly, everything felt like an amalgamation of things I understood and things I didn't.
'Hello kids! Have you wash your bum-bum today?!'
The me inside the dream was a goofy man, absurdly kind toward every child he met.
Though admittedly... he also had a terrible habit of chasing after women whenever he saw one. Naturally, they all avoided him. Then again, I never hated them for it. Honestly, I was grateful.
'Is there any reason not to let young souls know why they were born into this world?'
Before I could piece together what any of that meant, the dream shifted again. Just like any other dream, the scenery changed without warning into a place I had never seen before... and yet somehow, I still knew where I was.
'It is my duty as an adult to let children understand the warmth of joy.'
The world around me blurred and reshaped itself into a village that felt strangely familiar.
There was a girl with horns protruding from her head, her long black hair swaying behind her short yet sturdy frame. Standing opposite her was a young man carrying a small red dragon on his shoulder, while a girl in blue watched from behind him.
'Whoever loses this fight becomes my wife!'
Steel clashed against steel as the youth raised his sword to parry the girl's attack, stopping the twin lances she thrust toward him. They continued exchanging blows without pause, sparks scattering across the open field while the bystanders roared louder with every strike.
For some reason... I wanted to know who would win.
'Onii-chan!' 「???」
The dream twisted again.
This time, a steel-like object had already pierced through my abdomen.
For a moment, I simply stared at it.
'...Does it hurt... or not?'
It was only a dream, and yet the pain felt strangely real.
Warmth spread slowly from the wound as I wrapped my hand around the metallic object and pulled it free from my body with little resistance. The moment it slid out, the entire world around me distorted again.
In an instant, I found myself lying atop a bed draped in crimson sheets.
My own body rested there motionless.
Then I blinked, and suddenly, I was floating high above a vast ocean stretching endlessly beneath me. Deep below the dark waters, something enormous moved. Similar to a gigantic water dragon.
A gigantic serpent-like creature drifted through the sea, its body so large that merely watching it made the ocean itself feel too small to contain it. And somehow, even staring at something that enormous, I felt no fear.
'Doesn't matter... sooner or later, I'll wake up anyway...'
I let myself continue sinking deeper into the dream.
However, just as I thought I would sink into the next sequence of dreams, I instead found myself standing before something with a disfigured figure, beneath a gigantic inverted city hanging silently in the sky.
'Onii-chan...' 「???」
A voice kept buzzing inside my ears.
Little by little, I could feel it dragging me out of the dream.
'Wake up, onii-chan...' 「???」
When I turned toward the source of the voice, I saw the figure of a girl calling out to me from the distance. She looked familiar, yet at the same time, I couldn't remember who she was supposed to be.
I reached out my hand, trying to grasp her.
'Who are you?'
And then, the dream ended.
...
....
.....
「The Void」
"This is... here again..."
When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by the same scenery once more.
I rose slowly from my slumber, supporting my own weight as I looked around at the familiar emptiness where nothing existed except feathers drifting endlessly through the void.
Some of them gathered around me like a flower crown gently placed upon my head. Others glowed faintly nearby for a brief moment before drifting away into the distant darkness.
"Ahh... so I just returned from another journey, huh? For me to fall asleep here of all places... it must've been a pretty exhausting one. At least I've got my strength back now."
This place was never meant for rest.
Normally, I preferred sleeping in whatever world I traveled to next rather than here. Not only were there far too many memories of myself lingering within this Void, there was also always the risk of those memories flowing back into my mind despite already being sealed away.
And once they did...
It always left me feeling uncomfortable.
"Now that I think about it... I was dreaming just now, wasn't I? What was that dream again...?"
Dreaming was actually something rare for me.
With Fenghuang Down, I had long grown used to manipulating my own mind and consciousness. Even in sleep, part of me always had to remain alert for danger. It was completely different from dreaming naturally.
Remembering the Feathers piled loosely over my head, I plucked and blew them away.
"...Huh? My jacket... my bag... my headphones?! Why do they look like this?!"
A massive stitched patch had been sewn onto my favorite jacket. I had no idea what possessed me to repair it with this much care, especially when I wasn't even good at sewing in the first place.
And it wasn't just the jacket.
My bag and several of my personal belongings looked far more worn out than I remembered. Honestly, all of them probably needed to be replaced already... or at least, that was what I thought for now.
"Did the previous me leave anything about this...?"
Thankfully, my phone was still working.
I swiped it open and immediately checked the notes app, just like I always did whenever I felt lost or didn't know what to do next. Sure enough, there was already a clue waiting for me there.
#Don't look back#
The only thing written in the memo was a warning.
And because of that, my attention drifted toward a Feather that still felt the newest among them all, yet strangely distant from me, resting in one of the emptier corners of the Void untouched by the others.
"That far away even though it's still new, huh... just how much was I hated in that world?"
The ones that drifted furthest away usually came from worlds that hated me. They usually belonged to worlds where I had failed to save something important... or worse, worlds where I had become part of the problem myself.
The ones that drifted closer meant the opposite... probably.
In the end, it was the memories sealed inside each Feather that determined where they belonged.
"A warning, huh... though people do say a prohibition is just another form of invitation."
I paved through the countless Feathers toward the one I was searching for.
Normally, I would never do something like this. Memories that had already been sealed together within Feathers were supposed to be left alone, allowed to rest and continue existing in peace.
But somehow... it felt like something from there was still trying to call out to me.
'A warning... a promise... why do I still remember it?'
I should've sealed every memory related to that world tightly within that Feather already. For me to recall something I had intentionally forgotten was nearly impossible.
Unless...
The experiences from that world had left behind wounds too deep to truly disappear.
"Curiosity might kill the cat... so hopefully being a gold fish person makes me safe from that."
I poured my energy into the Feather.
At once, it began shining brighter and brighter until the light itself engulfed me within the Void. Through it, I could feel the memories and information stored inside starting to flow back into me once more and also...
"...Ah... ahaha... ahahah!"
Another failure.
——————————————
『Her PoV』
Humans laugh because they live.
Someone who can laugh because of another person is someone who is truly alive.
People love to laugh with others… even if that other person is themselves.
"Ha... hAha... hAHAHhahahHAHAHAHAHahahahHAha."
And yet, no one answered his grief. His laughter filled the hollow world around him, while nothing remained to fill the hollow within himself.
"Haha… I see! Just one feather, and this is what I've become. Imagine how broken I'd be if I ever managed to 'read' all of them…! Haha!"
With hands as sharp as blades, he took his own life without another word. His body went limp once more, collapsing to the ground as his laughter slowly faded away with it.
Yet moments later, his eyes opened again.
The wounds were already gone.
"…Just how many times have I failed now…?"
Because of that absurd rule of his, death would never come to him throughout this endless journey. "Death is something you earn only after your duty is fulfilled," that was what he once said.
As long as he remained within the Void… and as long as I stayed beside him…
He would never be allowed to die.
Even so, while humans can restore their bodies and minds, the same cannot be said for their hearts. The heart is unlike the body or mind; wounds may heal and memories may fade, yet the heart will always remember.
Especially a heart like his.
"How many times have I done this… repeating it over and over again…?"
Similar conversations had already happened countless times before, far worse than this, even worse than what happened with Skadi. I had long since lost count of how many times he took his own life, while I could do nothing but watch.
But even so…
He had come this far.
"…What am I even doing all of this for…? And for who?"
To do what others never could, while expecting nothing in return. He had crossed through those same moments again and again, until nothing remained but loneliness and the foolishness that drove him forward.
I had watched him fall so many times that it was no longer surprising.
"No… there's no point thinking about that now. Whoever it was… whatever it was… none of it matters anymore. I just need to stand up and keep going… even if I've already forgotten why."
And still, no matter how many times I watched him break, fall, and rise again...
I could never look away from him.
"There are still people out there who deserved it."
That roar, torn from the shattered fragments of his heart hidden deep beneath his emotions, was the truest part of him. The mortal fang he had always bared against them. Even now, it remained the sharpest weapon he possessed.
Though now that I think about it, perhaps calling it a roar would be wrong.
It was closer to a scream.
It lacked the wild fury I used to see whenever he lost control in the past.
"Ah, before I forget… make sure to erase my memories once more."
Indeed.
So that every time you are hurt, it will wound you as though it were the first time.
You foolish human.
"Special beam cannon!"
Once again, he chose to run from his present self. Hiding both his strengths and weaknesses beneath the mask of someone ordinary, all to bury the crushing sense of uselessness that had become the very reason for his journey.
This was how he had endured everything for so long.
By repeating it over and over again, he trapped himself in a stagnant cycle where he could never truly move forward. No matter how many worlds he visited, no matter how much he experienced, he would always reset himself back to nothing.
And eventually, he would return here once more, carrying pain and suffering in his arms, only to embrace them alone. For a human who have withstood so many trial, yet with nothing he'll ever hold, is truly a cruel thesis.
So from this moment onward, as I pray...
The story will change.
——————————————
『His PoV』
"What? What am I doing?"
When I came to my senses, I was already holding a glowing Feather in my hand. It was obviously unusual, so without thinking too much about it, I blew gently and let the Feather drift away toward wherever it wished to land.
Soon enough, a portal I had grown painfully familiar with appeared before me.
A portal that meant it was time for me to leave once again.
To another place, another world, or more precisely... to continue my main objective.
"Before searching for waifus… uhh, why do my eyes hurt? And why are they so puffy?"
Even though my swollen, damp eyes made it a little difficult to see, I still checked the records from my previous journey once more. The result was failure. Still, after feeling down for a brief moment, I quickly returned to normal.
There'd be all kinds of girls waiting for me over there anyway.
Small or big. Medium or premium.
"…Why the hell was I even crying at my age?! Seriously… this is embarrassing, you idiot from five minutes ago," I wiped my face clean with the sleeve of my jacket. "… and you, you survived another adventure with me, huh?"
A small laugh escaped my mouth before I lowered my gaze toward the worn fabric.
"But… I'm really sorry, pal. Maybe it's time to retire you and keep you on display instead. I don't want you getting any more damaged than you already are. Maybe, this'll be the last one with you..."
This outfit was one of my oldest belongings. And when I said old, I meant ancient.
It had long since become more than just clothing, it was my companion, a silent witness to my journey. This pal is one of the few precious things that had remained beside me all this time.
GRUMBLE
"W-Whoa?!"
Suddenly, the entire emptiness trembled violently, only to fall silent again a second later.
"…What was that…?"
Anyway, it was also rare for me not to wear it all the time, so I'm waring it again. Thankfully, I hadn't accidentally left it behind in the previous world before returning to this place.
That was when I noticed the massive stitching patched across the back of the jacket.
"…Did Katakuri punch a hole through me or something?"
Honestly, that sounded weirdly believable. With a light tap of my hand, the stains and dirt clinging to the fabric disappeared instantly, restoring the jacket to its usual condition.
After that, I checked the rest of my belongings just in case something had been left behind inside the jacket during my last journey. And that was when I found something unusual tucked inside one of the jacket's pockets.
"A badge? Did I win something?
Somehow, it felt strangely familiar. It was a round badge marked with a white four-leaf clover-like symbol, surrounded by feather-like patterns. Attached to it was a small white bunny charm.
"If I remember correctly… this belonged to someone from Genshin, I think."
I stared at it for a moment longer before my eyes widened slightly.
"…Wait, isn't this Klee's?"
A brief silence followed.
"Huh. I kinda wanted Hu Tao or Ganyu's merch instead, though…"
For now, I wrote a note to my future self to buy the correct merch next time. Naturally, I also decided to wear the badge for now. I mean… it was pretty cute.
After finishing the rest of my usual preparations, I took one final look at myself.
(Strangely enough, her memento had already regained the color it once lost. However, he would never realize it.)
I walked toward the gate, excited for the next journey ahead of me, with the cute badge pinned to my left chest and the bunny charm hanging from my waist. Honestly, I probably looked like some battle-hardened soldier carrying around creepy-yet-cute accessories.
Not that there was anyone here to judge me anyway.
"Yoosh… SUSUMEEE!!!"
I stepped forward into the gate.
A white light swallowed my vision, leading me toward yet another mysterious journey.