"Aren't we all?" Nine asked.
Benjamin could clearly see that he said that in order to make him feel better, unfortunately it was not working, and this still felt a bit awkward. He was more comfortable talking to Charlie or Michael. He and Nine barely interacted, and they were certainly not that close that he would want to repeat his problem to him.
"It's our nature as men. We say things that we do not necessarily mean because we don't think it through and acknowledge how the other person might take it," Nine said.
"Exactly, have you done that before?" Benjamin asked.
"Well no, not really. I have always been careful with my words because I know how people can overreact. For me, it's not the words I say, but it's the words that I can say but don't and the situations I imagine that I will never let happen in real life," Nine said.
"That's really deep," Benjamin said.
"Perhaps, but one thing you should know is that you make mistakes, yes, it is impossible not to, the most important thing is to try to do better and never repeat them again," he said.
"Have you ever realized too late that someone means more to you, much more than you had first thought?" Benjamin asked. "And even though you have only known each other for a short period of time, you can't imagine the rest of your life without them," he added.
"I know the feeling well. It starts to become like every passing day without hearing from or seeing that person makes you sick in body and mind, but as soon as you see them, hear from them, you start questioning your sanity because that certainly cannot be normal," Nine said.
"You have had something like that happen to you?" Benjamin asked.
"Recently, yes," Nine replied.
"And what do you think is the best way to handle it?".
"I do not have the answers to all your questions. Far from it, I am only still trying to figure out everything myself," Nine said.
Benjamin sighed, he was getting a bit too relieved that someone else knew how he felt.
"But, one thing I do know is if that person is as important to you as it feels, then the best thing is to come out clean and forsake everything for the sake of peace," Nine continued.
"And does it work? Have you done that?".
Nine took a moment to answer. He wanted to answer yes, but at the same time, Benjamin seemed so expectant that he did not want to feed him the wrong information.
"I have not tried it yet, but I believe it will work," he replied.
Benjamin frowned, "Why haven't you tried it yet?".
He placed the almost empty bowl of bran flakes on the table.
"Listen, everything I tell you is due to personal experience, and if I have not tried it yet, it is because I am a bit frightened to do so, because I do not want to scare them away," he admitted.
"As important as it is not to offend someone, I think it is worse not to tell them the truth, because the truth is important at the end of the day," Benjamin said.
"I know that, and it is alright to take the risk when you truly know that person," Nine replied.
"Lulu is a sweetheart, she is going to forgive you eventually, regardless of how bad what you said was. She just needs some time to cool off and remember why she liked you in the first place," Nine smiled.
Benjamin could not help but smile when he heard his words.
"In my case, the person I am talking about started off as a stranger. but now her place in my mind has changed, and I do not know if it feels the same for her," Nine said.
Benjamin took a moment before answering. He was not someone well experienced with relationships, neither did he want to give bad advice that would end in trouble.
"Well, I think that the only way to know for sure is so ask her," Benjamin said.
"That is easier said than done," Nine laughed softly.
"Yes, it may be, but at the end of the day, you can't just keep on guessing on what could or might be when you have the chance to make it a reality before someone else swoops in and takes the chance," he replied.
"I know that you are right, but I just can't bring myself to do it. The last person that I felt so strongly about, I knew that she loved someone else, she was obsessed with him, and yet I continued to love her from a distance, I covered up for her misbehaviour and was ready to jump off a mountain if she asked me," Nine chuckled.
"And do you feel the same way for the woman you like now?".
"No, not at all. I was young back then, I realize now that my feelings were reckless. True love is reciprocal. When I'm with her, I feel so different, I feel understood, in a place of safety, void of any judgement," Nine found himself smiling without even realizing it.
"Then that means she's worth it. She's worth the risk, and you should take that risk and tell her how you feel," Benjamin smiled.
"And what if she does not feel the same and I just ruined a very good friendship?".
"It's a chance you have to be willing to take. It all depends on if you are ready to take the next step no matter the outcome," Benjamin said.
"That's the thing, everyone else around me might be a risk-taker, but not me, I can't do it," Nine shook his head.
"You simply believe that you can't, but when it dawns on you that she's that important, you will be able to do anything," Benjamin said.
Nine sighed internally. Benjamin was making it sound so simple. Maybe it truly was, but he was simply an overthinker.
"Thank you for listening to me. I feel much better after talking to you," Benjamin smiled.
"I am happy you think that, because when I saw you outside, you looked so dead and tired," Nine said.
"Yeah... I guess I was wasn't I?".
Nine nodded, that was why he had called him here to talk, because you never knew what people were capable of when they were in a state of depression and extreme sadness.
"Thank you, Nine, it was nice talking to you," Benjamin said.
"No need to thank me, I feel the same," Nine nodded.
Benjamin stood up, "I should stop bothering you and take my leave now.".
Nine realized something in that moment... he felt lonely. The apartment was far too quiet for him, he could not call Jen until later and that would mean he would be left all alone, and he did not want that.
"You are not bothering me at all. Far from it, you can stay if you wish to. You're practically family at this point, Lulu has made you that," Nine smiled.
"In what way?".
"With the way she drags you around, she truly does like you, you just don't know how much," Nine said.
Benjamin chuckled, he did not like how that sounded. Lulu was simply his friend and nothing more.
"Mhmm, well, I have some things to take care of, so I have to leave," Benjamin said.
"Alright then.".
Benjamin did not know why he felt a bit guilty leaving Nine. Clearly he was all alone, but Benjamin was sure that was by choice.
"Thank you once again," he said before turning the front door knob.
"No need to thank me, it is the least I can do. We are friends after all," Nine shrugged.
"Yes, we are," Benjamin smiled before taking his leave.
He just felt so lonely here, he never knew that he would feel this way. He had always craved for silence when there was noise, but now in the midst of silence, he wished for noise again.
He found his mind drifting to what his family were up to. Knowing Aunt Margaret, she prepared more than enough food to welcome everyone back home and Charlie would be eating like the glutton he is which would disgust the others.
Nine shook his head, he did not want to come to terms with the fact that this was his fault. They begged him to go, but he did not listen, now he was suffering the consequences, which was extreme loneliness.
Nine stood up and picked the unfinished bowl of bran flakes from the table. He walked to the sink and washed the bowl out.
Benjamin returned to his apartment, he never knew that Nine was full of so much good advice, and it made him feel happy to hear Nine refer to him as a friend, now if only his first friend would stop being upset with him so they could go back to being happy.