Disclaimer: I own nothing but my original characters and works; all other characters and worlds belong to their respective owners. I'm just playing with them.
Betad by priapus, Beans, Mike God of Lore,
The Game Master
Chapter 17: Karaoke
— Amy Dallon (Panacea) —
Sitting in the karaoke booth, she slowly stroked Carbuncle's blue fur. With Sol revealing his secret, he didn't mind showing off a little by summoning the smallest (and yet, most powerful) of his familiars.
Carbuncle was his support familiar, able to buff and heal. She'd wanted to get her hands on it since she first saw the pictures, and now that it was finally in her lap, she smiled as she examined its biology. Carbuncle looked up at her cutely, before licking her cheek and making her giggle. The sound of a camera shutter made her snap out of it, glaring at Vicky who was beaming.
"You cheated!" Dennis shouted, but Sol just gave him a superior look.
"I can assure you, I have no idea what you mean," Sol blatantly lied as he ended his pitch-perfect rendition of 'Fly Me To The Moon', his voice going back to normal instead of the dulcet tones that had Crystal (and Vicky) biting their lips. Dean should be glad he chased after Chris so he didn't have to see Vicky fangirl over Sol suddenly being able to perfectly sing Frank Sinatra.
"You sounded like a choked bird in the first song, but the moment it becomes a bet to get the best score you're suddenly a thousand times better? Did you give yourself a singing power?" Dennis asked, looking at the scores.
Dennis did alright for someone who didn't really know how to sing. Sol had a literal perfect score.
"Don't be ridiculous. No such power exists- Oi, stop looking through the menus!" Sol said, tossing a nacho at Dennis as he stared at something only he could see. Or not, as Missy seemed to be looking at it too.
"Ha! There is one. Actually lots of singing power ups… damn it, I can't afford any of the good ones," Dennis grumbled. "Wait! The price just got a negative one million percent discount that just says 'haha fuck you Dennis'."
"Get gud, loser," Sol replied lazily. "If you had a singing power, you'd use it to win at karaoke too."
"Yeah, but I don't and neither did you five minutes ago," Dennis whined.
"And now I do. Crazy how nature does that sometimes," Sol replied ruthlessly. "Take your loss like a man."
"That was really impressive. Your power might just be the most versatile one in the world," Crystal admitted, looking a bit more into Vicky's matchmaking now that she knew that Sol could belt out Sinatra like he was possessed by the ghost of Frank himself.
"Powers are a lottery, someone had to win it eventually," Sol admitted with a shrug. "It has limitations but only when it comes to time and energy. If I have enough of either, nothing is outside of my capabilities."
"So you could boost me up a cup size? Amy refused even though she clearly did it for Vicky," Crystal whined, immediately starting the old argument over whether Vicky's boobs were natural. Vicky denied everything, Crystal pointed out that Vicky had gone from B to Double-D in a single summer. Amy remained extremely quiet. "It's some bullshit. Why am I the only girl with breasts smaller than Cs on the entire team? Mom is stacked, even Amy has some she hides under those baggy clothes. Meanwhile I'm stuck with these."
Crystal had always been more flirty than the rest of them, enjoying her time as a sorority girl far too much. As she spoke she reached up and jiggled her own breasts lazily, Dennis choked on his drink and Sol looked away as to not stare. The advantage to being a girl was that she could stare without seeming like a pervert.
Meanwhile Missy looked moments away from committing violence. Crystal was too good-looking to be complaining about things like this.
"While I am capable of cosmetic changes, I do not have the time, or patience, to spend my energy playing plastic surgeon," Sol answered, meeting Crystal's gaze. "Besides, it'd be a shame to mar such a work of art."
"Ha! Good answer," Crystal teased, nudging him with her shoulder. Crystal was too slender to look good with large breasts. It was why Amy had refused. "You realise if you go public, you'll never stop getting people bugging you for stuff like this. Amy has it bad enough and she can just heal and make cosmetic changes. You can do so much more."
"I am aware, yes," Sol agreed, frowning for a moment. "But I have my ways of avoiding the worst of it, and the power to punish the worst offenders. The blacklist exists for a reason and it is entirely at my whims."
Amy flinched slightly at that, her action noticed by Vicky who gave her an odd look. Given that she was currently planning on asking Sol for something, was that meant to be a warning from the precognitive wizard? He'd revealed his identity only for her to immediately want him for something, despite hating people approaching her for the same.
The hypocrisy was not lost on her.
The singing continued, with Sol playing a little prank of his own. As Missy took to centre stage, her singing suddenly improved to be near flawless for the K-pop thing she was singing. Vicky, who normally caused damaged ears, performed her song as if she was Britney Spears herself, Crystal pulled off some smooth jazz song with the voice of an angel. Even Amy sounded far, far better than she should have at her reluctant attempt.
Dennis still sounded like Dennis.
The final scores were Sol, Crystal and Missy at a perfect 100. Vicky at a very respectable 99. Amy at a 94 because she freaked out a little at her own voice.
Dennis got a 12. Let it never be said that Clockblocker wasn't willing to be the butt of any and all jokes.
Sol claimed innocence. Nobody believed him.
Amy ignored the boys squabbling as she groaned, seeing that Crystal had posted her mandatory duet with Vicky on PHO. Just what she needed.
As Sol and Crystal's duet finished, 'You're the one that I want', very subtly chosen by Vicky, she stretched. Today hadn't been bad, mostly due to Carbuncle and her fascinating biology distracting her.
As Dennis belted out the opening to some cartoon, she spotted Sol get distracted, his phone vibrating as he pulled it out.
"First you cheat, then you don't even pay attention to my performance? No respect, I tell you," Dennis whined. "I demand compensation in the form of a dinosaur."
"You have Dragon's number?" Crystal asked, reading the caller ID as Dennis blinked, realising this was probably serious. Sol nodded as he answered the call.
"Hey, Dragon. Just a heads up, I'm with some Wards and New Wave members right now. They know my identity," Sol greeted easily.
"Ah, sorry to interrupt your karaoke," Dragon said, making Amy blink. How did she know that? Well, it was Dragon after all. "And I'm glad to hear you are getting close to the other young heroes of Brockton Bay. Congratulations on your redesign, by the way, Vista."
Missy flushed bright red as she sputtered something out. Dragon truly did know all. It was both really cool and kinda scary.
"Thank you!" Missy finally got out, her cheeks red.
"You're welcome. I look forward to seeing your new costume. Now, onto the matter at hand. We've had an odd development with the Birdcage escapees that your plans didn't anticipate," Dragon explained, Sol's brows furrowing.
Oh right. Azuth was leading the charge in recapturing the Birdcage escapees… including him.
"I'm listening," Sol replied calmly, his eyes going out of focus as he looked at something only he could see.
"Lustrum has been imprisoned, but she wasn't captured. She walked into the PRT headquarters and turned herself in. There's been questions over what to do with the bounty," Dragon explained.
"Huh. I'll admit, I didn't plan for that. We can't exactly make her a guild member. Okay, that's fine, yeah. We'll give her a twenty-five percent discount in the system and assign the bounty points to her immediately. Prison systems are meant to reward good behaviour, after all," Sol agreed, rubbing his chin. "Birdcage sentences are for life, but if nothing else it might incentivise some of the others to turn themselves in. I don't have high hopes, but even one or two is worth it."
"Agreed. I've taken the liberty of removing Canary and two others from the Bounty Board. The other two were a case of false imprisonment, and I've convinced them to turn themselves into the Guild for retrial. Canary was also a miscarriage of justice and using your crime record system, it has helped prove that she should never have been sentenced to the Birdcage to begin with," Dragon continued.
"Only two others?" Sol asked, but Dragon just sighed.
"It's simple logic. The Birdcage was one of the most brutal prisons in existence. If you were there on false charges, you probably didn't have the power and character to survive in there," Dragon admitted sadly.
Ah. She wondered how many of those innocent victims her father had killed.
"I see. Unfortunate, but at least we can confirm that the inhabitants of the new prison actually belong there," Sol grumbled, frowning to himself. She'd seen people asking why Azuth didn't just work with the PRT instead of doing all this but she couldn't blame him for not trusting the government with his powers. She certainly didn't. "Thanks for telling me, and for doing the legwork for this."
"It has been my genuine pleasure, Solomon. That's all for now, I'll handle Lustrum's onboarding. Have fun!" Dragon said cheerfully, ending the call.
"…okay but how did she know that we're at Karaoke?" Dennis asked, looking around as if he was going to spot a Dragonsuit peering around the corner at them.
"I mentioned New Wave, and Vicky is a social media fiend. I might not be in any of the videos, but it doesn't take a genius to put two and two together," Sol pointed out easily. "And Dragon is a genius with access to Tinkertech internet speeds. She probably scoured every Ward and New Wave account before I was finished speaking."
"The power of the strongest terminally online PHO mod," Dennis snorted.
"Isn't that just a myth?" Crystal asked with an amused smile. She looked a little distracted by something, half listening as she leaned against Sol lazily. "Oh, all knowing wizard. Is Dragon a PHO mod?"
"My lips are sealed," Sol replied lazily. Crystal pouted, and Amy rolled her eyes as the flirting continued. They were more or less done here, their time coming up and they'd sung enough to not want an extension.
As they headed out, she frowned at the loss of Carbuncle as Sol dismissed his familiar. It would be too obvious to have one of Azuth's familiars with them when he hadn't unmasked yet. Sol and Crystal hung back, and she watched as her cousin gave Sol her number and a quick hug. As flirty as she could be, she didn't tend to jump into things but it was enough to have Vicky beaming proudly as Crystal flew away.
"You two want a ride home?" Sol asked, getting Missy and Dennis' attention. Dennis turned down the offer, joking that he had to get to his part time job but Missy accepted. He'd probably be picked up by a PRT transport then.
As they swung by Missy's house, she waved goodbye and gave Sol a quick, but very grateful, hug with a whispered thanks for picking her. Missy had wanted to be more than just the mascot for as long as Amy had known her, and Sol had made that dream a reality.
"So, how long does the singing thing last?" VIcky asked with a grin as they drove home.
"What makes you think it wears off?" Sol asked with a laugh. "That's not really how my power works. I can remove it, if you want, but pitch-perfect singing really wasn't expensive compared to a lot of the stuff I can grant. Was it dumb to use my energy for a joke? Yes. Do I regret it? Not really."
"Wait, we get to keep this? Oh hell yeah," Vicky cheered as Amy saw far too many karaoke nights in her future. Well, at least she wouldn't embarrass herself too much. "Your powers are still bullshit, but it's good bullshit."
"I'm glad to be of service," Sol drawled with an amused grin. "This was fun. Thanks for the invite, Vicky."
"Of course! And thanks for helping Chris out, he works way harder than most people realise," Vicky beamed. "And Missy!"
"He got dealt a bad hand, but his power is genuinely top tier. It cost me nothing to give him the missing piece," Sol replied softly, pulling up at his house. "As for Missy, I wasn't lying. Why wouldn't I want such an absurdly strong Shaker in my games?"
As they got out of the car, Vicky babbled and Amy knew she had to make her move.
"Hey, Vicky. Can you go home first? I need to talk to Sol, in private," Amy requested, seeing a hint of hurt on Vicky's face at being left out. "I'll tell you what it's about later."
"Err, sure? See you, Sol! Thanks for coming," Vicky said, flying over to their house. Ah shit, now she'd have to walk.
"I've put up a bubble to stop people from hearing what we're talking about," Sol said, leaning against his car. "So, what can I do for you?"
"You know what my power is, don't you?" Amy asked, frowning to herself.
"Shaper, and yes I am well aware of how much you hide your true capabilities," Sol answered calmly. Shaper?
"I- you can see the future, right? Is there a future where I lose control?" Amy asked, trying not to sound too desperate. She watched him closely, picking up the minor flinch he tried to hide. Sol was more honest than Azuth, his features were easier to read. "There is, isn't there."
Sol hesitated before he sighed.
"In some timelines, yes. You're known as the Red Queen, in the Birdcage for… a considerable amount of crimes. Not limited to the mutilation and sexual assault of Vicky," Sol finally answered. Even with the bubble, she was sure that Vicky saw her full body flinch and shudder as Sol confirmed her worst fears. "But that was caused by a series of events no longer possible. You were targeted by the Slaughterhouse Nine, with Bonesaw and Jack Slash going out of their way to warp your mind. Jack Slash's power, Broadcast, was too damn good at getting into the head of Parahumans. That future is no longer possible."
But that didn't mean she'd never slip up.
"What is this about, Amy?" Sol asked softly.
"Can you- can you cripple my power? I don't want an upgrade, I want to make sure I can never slip up," Amy begged, trying to hide her tears at his confirmation. She was a monster in the making.
"Is this about Marquis?" Sol asked, because of course he knew.
"Partially. My father is a serial killer, and now he's free and people have seen him in the city. I won't follow in his footsteps. You know how dangerous I could be," Amy pointed out. "I know I don't have anything to pay you with. The only thing I have worth a damn is my power and I'm asking you to break it for me. My allowance isn't exactly impressive, and I still have just a little bit too much self respect to offer to pay with my body."
Not that he'd want her when he probably had some of the hottest women in the world begging for his attention.
"Ah, a terrible shame," Sol said with a mock sigh. He was clearly just buying time to think, but she played along all the same.
"I'm willing to compromise on an extremely unenthusiastic handjob in return," Amy snarked.
"…that's weirdly hot," Sol admitted, making her blink before she snorted.
"You're kinda fucked in the head, huh?" Amy asked. "Not that I can talk."
"We're Capes," Sol replied plainly. Amy grunted in agreement.
"…I was lying about having self-respect. There's basically nothing I wouldn't do to make sure I can't hurt Vicky like that," Amy admitted after a moment.
"Crippling Shaper is… not a good idea. Part of how powers work means it's asking for trouble. They're… aware, and Shaper… Shaper is an artist. That depression you feel every time you heal? It's your power, bored out of its mind at healing the same injuries over and over. That thrill you get from seeing my monster's biology? It's Shaper being fascinated," Sol explained, her eyes widening briefly. Well that was terrifying. "But I can help you. I can grant Shaper a second host, someone I trust not to abuse it, giving them the biosculpting while you keep the healing. Shaper will be less pissy if she's got more interesting things to focus on inside my realm. I'll lock your ability to affect brains, or make any changes beyond cosmetic but not remove it, and give someone the ability to remove that limitation."
"Who?" Amy asked, considering if she'd trust even Vicky with that.
"I was thinking my Aunt Angela. She's already babysitting me and making sure I don't accidentally destroy the world before I can save it. Why not add a third mentally fucked cape under her watchful eye?" Sol suggested with a snort.
Dr Ziegler? Doctor Angela 'supermodel in scrubs' Ziegler who forced her to limit her healing hours and made the hospital renegotiate her contract instead of the vague 'Panacea shows up and heals' that had existed before?
"Wait, third?" Amy asked.
"My cousin Riley is, quite possibly, the only cape who could match you in biological horror. Nilbog lives in bliss, ignorant of the two teenage girls who have him beaten," Sol admitted. "…which is why I'm suddenly second guessing my plan to make her the second host. Honestly, if we do this, I might just give Angela a link to Shaper as well."
Well, if there was ever a person she could trust with her power it was Dr Ziegler. She'd tried to build her entire persona around the Swiss doctor but… well, she didn't have the personality to pull it off.
"Is she a parahuman?" Amy asked in realisation.
"No, she's just terrifyingly intelligent. You'd think she was a medical tinker but that's just pure intellect," Sol explained with a laugh.
How much good could Angela do with her power? More than Panacea ever had. She wasn't sure about Riley, but joining the team of over-powered capes that were being babysat by Angela was oddly enticing.
"What's it going to cost me?" Amy asked carefully. Her snarky joke about selling her body rang in the back of her mind, reminding her that Sol was a teenage boy with his own needs. There was a reason Vicky was worried about him being honeypotted.
She wanted to say that she wouldn't accept any… alternative forms of payment. She knew she'd let him rail her in the backseat of his car for a confirmation that she wouldn't be able to lose control. Hell, she'd give up all three holes as a downpayment now that she knew that she would lose control and become this… Red Queen if she was left as she was.
"Considering I'm getting two copies of your power? I'd go as far as to say I owe you," Sol said, some tension leaving her even as she gave him a mildly suspicious look. "I'm serious. Shaper is going to be more useful than you know for me. How about this, I'll give you a secondary power to go with your healing to replace the new restricted parts of your power and a Carbuncle of your own. It's a fair trade for the value I'm getting."
Amy hesitated, biting her lip. She hadn't expected to end this with him owing her and she was mildly suspicious that he was being way too generous to her purely because they were friends. And she'd seen how that route went. Plenty of people wanted to be her 'friend' and almost all of them wanted her to do something for them. She didn't want to see him falling down the same path.
But she also really wanted a Carbuncle.
"If it makes you feel better, I'll take that unenthusiastic handjob too," Sol teased, getting a laugh from her.
"What power would you give me?" Amy asked, curious.
"I'm thinking a White Mage class. You have healing, but buffs for your allies and light magic to defend yourself would help a lot. My classes work like they would in a game, you'd start weak but have the power to grow far, far stronger in ways regular powers don't," Sol explained, gesturing as a flood of knowledge entered her head of exactly what he was offering. It showed her what she'd start with and what she'd get if she worked for it.
Something in the back of her mind told her that she had to do this, and she paused. Was that her or Shaper? Sol knew way more about powers than she did, if he said her power was aware, she believed him.
"I was ready to beg. Wasn't expecting to walk away from this with an upgrade," Amy admitted. "Riley can be trusted?"
"She's a good g- kid, and frankly she could already cause a minor biological apocalypse if she wanted to. Your power would make it easier, but she's got the skills and interests to entertain Shaper as she helps me make the monsters for my realm," Sol explained. The idea of that ever present depression that came with every healing going away was almost enough to convince her by itself. He wasn't telling her everything, but she trusted he knew what he was doing.
"Then yes, please," Amy said. Sol didn't even so much as move, but she felt something deep inside her change. She almost began to glow with light but Sol coughed and reminded her that she was chilling on his driveway. "Thank you. This means… more than I can tell you."
"You have more self-control than you think, Amy. I truly believe you'd have been fine either way, but if it gives you some peace of mind, I'm happy for it," Sol replied softly, giving her a smile. "Now, should we call it a night before Vicky loses what little self-control she's managed to cling to?"
Looking over to the side, she winced at the sight of Vicky staring at them from afar.
"Yeah, that's probably for the best. Thank you, Sol. Really," Amy said, giving him a swift but tight hug and releasing him, starting to walk over to Vicky before she paused. "Lemme know when you want that handjob. For you, I'll even make it a mildly enthusiastic one with my tits out. Ask really nicely and I'll even let you finish on them."
"So generous," Sol teased as his eyes lowered to her breasts for a moment, getting a laugh from her as they went their separate ways. She got all of half way across the street before she was abducted by a blonde missile and dragged away for interrogation.
Sol, great hero that he was, ignored her plight as Vicky absconded with her to parts unknown, abandoning her to hours of interrogation.
For that, he was downgraded back to an unenthusiastic handjob, the bastard.
— Solomon White (Azuth) —
"I must admit, I was worried about Amelia. She works far too hard for a girl her age," Angela admits. "She is strong, but perhaps it is for the best to limit her while Shaper is… 'entertained'."
"True. With you and Riley giving it a distraction, Amy will feel less pressure to experiment, and less guilt because of it. I didn't tell her, but I've given her an immunity to master effects, including Vicky's aura, as well. It should help," I muse. Fanon is divided on if Vicky's aura pavlov'd Amy or not, but making sure she can't be controlled is good either way. "Riley, I want you to play with Shaper as much as you can."
"Way ahead of you," Riley snorts instantly. "You gave me Panacea's biosculpting and thought I wouldn't immediately use it to make my unicorn even better? He has wings now."
"A fair point," I laugh, ruffling her hair as she swats at my hand. "If nothing else, the world just gained two new Panaceas for crises."
"So, what now? You've got that scheming look in your eyes," Riley points out eagerly.
"Tomorrow night, the Scavenger hunt ends and the fragile peace with it. I find that… unacceptable. I've been thinking, and I have an idea," I explain, the pair listening as I call Dragon as well for her input.
Dragon calls Chief Director Costa-Brown, but Rebecca isn't going to fight against my plans at this point. I already know what she'll say as she listens to my plans and we work on what needs wrinkles ironing out.
But nobody disagrees with my plan, and I'd even say it has their approval.
Tattletale famously calls the cape scene a game of cops and robbers. Tomorrow, I'm making it exactly that.
A game, where the civilians don't get hurt.
— Bonus Scene —
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♦ Topic: Scavenger Hunt Results and Azuth's Grand Announcement
In: Boards ► Locations ► Brockton Bay
AzuthTheWise (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Verified Wizard)
Posted On Jan 17th 2011:
Greetings and a very happy Monday to all. As you are no doubt aware, with the passing of midnight, the week long Scavenger hunt has come to a close. Many sought the treasures, but only three succeeded in claiming the Golden Tickets.
The winners of this hunt are as follows.
Dupli-Kate of the Brockton Bay Wards, who used her powers and the aid of Armsmaster to form a most efficient search pattern, scouring the city day and night.
Accord, of the Boston Ambassadors. Accord did not find a ticket, but instead won it from the auction for a cost that would cause most of your credit cards to flee in fear. The final price of the ticket cost him over a third of his net worth due to a rather brutal bidding war with the Elite, but I am sure he will say it is worth the cost.
And finally, Marquis, having returned home to Brockton Bay. He found the ticket, but frankly his methods nearly resulted in me smiting him and someone else. After being released from the Birdcage, the Faerie Queen deposited him mere meters away from the hiding place with orders on how to find it. I do not know how Glaistig Uaine bypassed my anti-thinker protections, but using such powers was technically not against the rules.
I underestimated you, Faerie Queen. I shall not do so again. You get this one as a freebie. Interfere in my games again, and I will be forced to take action.
None of the three have redeemed their ticket yet, but for those who have forgotten, the tickets permit entry to my Guild along with three of their chosen allies.
But, as the week of peace comes to an end, a thought occurred to me. I have rather enjoyed how quiet the city has been for the past week. Yes, we've had countless capes visiting from outside of the city but cape and gang violence has never been lower. It has shown me that the capes of Brockton Bay are, in fact, capable of behaving themselves and many have commented on their disappointment that it is coming to an end.
As such, I am here to announce my new project. Turf Wars.
[TurfWarsMap]
This is a map of Brockton Bay, split into the different controlling factions. I'm sure the 'official' maps look very different because, let's be honest, the heroes don't like admitting that they aren't in control, but this is made from my own power-gathered data.
I have created a perfect copy of Brockton Bay within my realm, without the civilians. From now on, all gang and cape warfare will take place inside this copy. All players (capes and unpowered members of each faction) will have the ability to switch between this new map and the real world.
This is not optional, and the breaking of the rules will be enforced and heavily punished. If the capes of Brockton insist on fighting, they will do so away from the civilians. Some may say this is unfair, but as far as I am concerned, you consented to this the moment you joined a gang.
As this is a game, allow me to explain the rules.
Each faction, heroic, villainous and otherwise, will have strongholds and hideouts throughout their territory that manage sections of their territory. By raiding and capturing these outposts, they can take territory from their rivals as they vie for complete control of the city.
Their territory can be upgraded with points earned by defeating other players, completing missions against other factions and other methods. These upgrades will affect the real city to mirror the modifications.
While in the real world, being inside your territory provides buffs, depending on which upgrades you have bought. Entering territory marked as owned by a different faction will debuff the player and reveal their location to the territory's owner. This will not happen for Capes if they are unmasked, but do not think to try and cheat the system by scouting the enemy out of costume. My system can tell the difference and you will be revealed to the enemy.
If a faction from outside the city joins the game, they will be permitted to choose an existing faction to engage in a turf war with, allowing them a chance to take territory from the other players. If a faction loses all its territory, they will be counted as eliminated and gain a debuff while in the city limits for a five year period.
I want to be extremely clear about something. As the good folks at the BBPD would tell you, almost all gang crime in Brockton Bay is classified as parahuman crimes due to the prevalence of parahumans in each and every gang. As such, all crimes committed by any gang outside of the game will be classified in the same way by my system and the offending faction will be punished.
Brockton Bay has suffered enough at the hands of the Parahuman factions.
If you have an issue with this decision? By all means, come and bring it up with me. I'll even make it easy for you.
My name is Solomon Tiberius White. Yes, my parents were massive nerds. I am a student at Arcadia High, and live at 31 Warren Street. Yes, for you cape nerds, I live like five houses down from New Wave. Small world.
[selfie]
I am well aware that many Thinkers have already worked this out, and I have decided to take matters into my own hands. You may be saying, but Azuth, isn't this risky for you and your family?
No. It is not. I assure you, I have taken every precaution to ensure that I, and my loved ones, cannot be targeted out of costume. You could nuke Brockton Bay and we wouldn't even get toasty. But allow me to drop the funny wizard persona for a time.
For those who are considering attempting to use my family as a way to get to me, I won't bother telling you that you and your organisation will be blacklisted for doing so for one simple reason.
There won't be anything left to blacklist.
To list the offenders that are already scheming.
Bastard Son of the Elite. Null of the Yangban. Krieg of the Empire Eighty-Eight and his Gesellschaft masters. Heartbreaker. Valefor of the Fallen. The Butcher of the Teeth. Trickster of the Travellers. Director Tagg of the PRT. There are many more but these are the worst offenders.
I, and my loved ones, are immune to master effects. You are incapable of harming even a hair on our heads. But please, try, because I am well aware that I will need to make an example to get the message through.
You do not want to be that message.
I thought long and hard about what to do about my slowly leaking identity, including making a new power that caused people to be incapable of connecting Sol and Azuth even if they physically watched me switch between personas but in the end, I just don't overly enjoy the games capes play with their identities. It feels far too silly for me, and I run around looking like an elf, calling myself a wizard.
So, to show my displeasure at this silly game, I am making a simple offer to all players. Any Cape who publicly unmasks will be granted entry to Astera and a permanent 25% discount on all purchases, as well as the same protections I have given to my family for your own loved ones and my promise to assist should they be targeted due to your identity being public.
But with that, my grand declaration comes to an end. Until I next feel like flipping the cape scene on its head, my friends.
Azuth, Lord of Spells.
(Showing page 1 of 1432)
►Deimos
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
First!
EDIT: Holy shit i should have actually read the post first
►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
I don't know what's crazier
Azuth going 'no crime allowed' or the fact that it might just fucking work
Fuck the unwritten rules, Brockton has its own rules now and they're enforced by a Wizard.
►WagTheDog
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
Tells every cape in Brockton they're not allowed to fight in the city anymore, drops his full legal name and address, double-dog dares them to try and use it against him.
Clearly he's magic, because otherwise the city would have sunk into the bay from the sheer weight of his balls
►Sothoth
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
why the fuck would the fairy queen help marquis?
also i bet half that list had their balls jump right into their throats at being named and shamed. Sad to see a PRT Director on the list, but not surprised.
►AverageAlexandros (Cape Husband)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
It certainly takes a certain kind of confidence to drop a list with so many heavy hitters and then just say 'Try it, I dare you.' I know my wife has been interested in trying to join Astera, but unmasking is one hell of a scary thing.
►Clockblocker (Verified Cape) (Wards ENE) (Verified Dennis) (The Dennis)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
When you said you were getting ready to unmask, I figured you meant like in a few months or so, not right after karaoke.
Which you still suck at.
Nobody gets that good mid song, you cheating wizard. You can't fool me.
But, it's been a few minutes since I did something stupid and I'm long overdue. The PRT would probably tell me not to do this, but they also told me I couldn't call myself Clockblocker and look how that went.
Hello world, Dennis Fletcher here. Also Arcadia, but you'll forgive me if I don't post my home address. Don't worry if you need to work it out, just look for the house that has the dinosaur in the backyard.
I am so riding Anjanath to school.
[SelfieWithADinosaur]
►Vista (Verified Cape) (Wards ENE)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
Damn it, Clock. Sometimes I think you just live to give the Director a heart attack.
►Dupli-Kate (Verified Cape) (Wards ENE)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
Why not.
Kate Cha, Winslow.
Yes, I called myself DupliKate when it was my real name. Not my smartest move, and my identity is basically an open secret anyway.
Wait, how does this work for Case 53s? Do they even have civvie identities?
►Weld (Verified Cape) (Wards Boston)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
Ninja'd
I was typing that as your comment appeared.
You guys probably won't believe this, but when I'm not Weld, I am known as… Weld. Shocking, I know. Yeah, we don't really have secret identities because our powers don't come with an off-switch.
Don't get me wrong, Azuth literally changed my life by modifying my powers and I am eternally grateful for the increased control and restored senses, but there are thousands like me and even before the changes, I was one of the lucky ones.
►AzuthTheWise (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Verified Wizard)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
I should have put this in the first message but that's what I get for sending messages at just past midnight when I need my naptime. Not sure why half of you are even awake.
Case 53s are, by default, eligible for entry to Astera and the same discount. I am not (yet) omniscient so I will need them to gain my attention, but at the same time, asking them to come to Brockton Bay is asking for trouble even with the new rules.
Weld, PM me in the morning. We'll set up a smoother path for them to get access to Astera and the Adventurers Guild.
also, Dennis, be honest, are you just doing this so you can buy more dinosaurs?
►Weld (Verified Cape) (Wards Boston)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
Got it. I'll be free all tomorrow.
►Clockblocker (Verified Cape) (Wards ENE) (Verified Dennis) (The Dennis)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
yup
edit: wtf is that tag
edit 2: i didnt say to remove it
►BadSamurai
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
are we just glossing over the fact that Azuth was considering mastering everyone who discovered his identity? like, the fact that this is something he can apparently do
►GloryGirl (Verified Cape) (New Wave)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
well duh
he's a wizard
they get Wish at Lvl17
►ArchmageEin (Verified Not A Wizard)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
Honestly, yeah
At this point, assume Azuth can do anything given enough time and whatever resource he's hinted that he uses
As far as we can tell, his power just lets him do whatever the fuck he wants if he has enough energy and whatever he's doing, it's getting him that energy
Edit: Clearly, his power lets him fuck with PHO Tags as well. Why not.
►AzuthTheWise (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Verified Wizard)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
Nope, that's not me.
I would have made Clock's 'The Dennis' or something
►Clockblocker (Verified Cape) (Wards ENE) (Verified Dennis) (The Dennis)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
Huh.
Wonder who it is?
Edit: Hell yeah. This almost makes the reaming I have incoming worth it.
►Dragon (Verified Cape) (The Guild)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
;)
►Feychick
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
Dragon shitposts, you learn something new every day.
I guess everyone needs a hobby, and if every cape settled for trolling on PHO, the world would be a safer place.
►GstringGirl
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
Wait, does that include Case53s who aren't active as capes?
►AzuthTheWise (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Verified Wizard)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
I once told you that I would one day free you from your accursed form, and you have been extremely patient-
Wait, that was only 12 days ago. Man, I've been a busy little bee.
You've been mildly patient, and such patience will be rewarded. Yes, my offer includes you and the others in Parahuman asylums.
►GstringGirl
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
►Gallant (Verified Cape) (Wards ENE)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
It truly has been a busy fortnight.
I've talked with my parents, and made my decision.
Dean Stansfield, Arcadia, Glory Girl's Boyfriend.
Yes, the love triangle is just Me, Myself and Vicky. [Selfie]
She's just really bad at pretending when I'm masked up.
►GloryGirl (Verified Cape) (New Wave)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
Why do people keep saying I can't be subtle! :p
New Wave tried to push for Cape Accountability for years.
Azuth did far more with a 25% off coupon.
I don't know whether I'm pleased or want to cry.
►Armsmaster (Protectorate Employee) (Verified Cape)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
Colin Wallis, no school due to me being an adult.
►Legend (Protectorate Employee) (Verified Cape)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
Keith Williams.
[WeddingPhoto]
Also not a student, oddly enough.
►Feychick
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
holy shit
►AzuthTheWise (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Verified Wizard)
Replied On Jan 17th 2011:
No seriously, why is everyone still awake?
I kinda planned to shadow post this then go to bed.
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