Previously on Don't Mind Tyler, He's Just Doing His Business! Aaliyah, the Professional Food Reviwer at Google Reviews and a self proclaimed Gourmet, and Caroline aka the Hungry German Kid, found themselves being noclipped into a deserted island for some reason. Confused, Aaliyah decided to confront Caroline about it.
"Alright witch. I don't know what exactly happened but this is taking things too far. This sorcery you pulled needs to be stopped. Get us back to school right now!"
"Pump the hate breaks you wannabe food connoisseur. Just because I'm German, doesn't mean I'm capable of bending reality" Caroline responded.
Realizing that none of them were at blame for the situation, they began lamenting the severity of the environment they were put on. Stranded on a deserted island with your mortal enemy seems appealing don't you think? I mean what could possibly go wrong?
"Out all of the people I could've been stranded with, why is it it's gotta be you?" Aaliyah asked in an annoyed tone.
"I could say the same thing meathead" Caroline responded.
"God, it could've been Gordon Ramsay for heaven's sake! He could've been teaching me some tips on cooking right now. Instead, fate gives me one of his insult, an actual donkey as a companion" Aaliyah responded.
"Shut yer bloody mouth or else I'll break your kneecap Der Mistkerl" Caroline shouted while doing a square up stance.
"Come on idiot sandwich, push me! push me!" Aaliyah shouted back.
The sudden sound of their hungry stomach stopped the two before things escalate into a serious fight. They decided to hold a truce first to address the present problem.
"Let's just hold this fight momentarily, don't you agree?" Aaliyah suggested.
"Agree, I don't wanna beat yo ass with an empty stomach trottel" Caroline responded.
The two decided to explore the deserted island for food. The island was quite small which is roughly around the size of a basketball court. In the middle of it, they were a bunch of banana tree. Adjacent to the trees are a bunch of food ingredients for some reason but for the most part, the main food of the island undoubtedly are bananas.
"I'm going bananas, literally and metaphorically!" Caroline complained.
Aaliyah ignored Caroline's complaints as she was busy examining the food ingredients. Caroline noticed this and began probing her.
"Hey, what are you doing?" Caroline asked.
"I don't know how this happened but the food ingredients came in clutch. I think with these, I can make variations of banana dish so that we won't get fed up with the damn fruit immediately" Aaliyah responded.
"That's great! As expected of the 5 star Gourmet" Caroline in a praising tone said.
"Whatever, at least I can make something. Unlike you, who's entire personality revolves around eating. I bet if you can, you'll eat this entire island you glutton schmuck" Aaliyah snarkily commented.
"You... you know what- I am too hungry to even argue back. I will let that one slide (also you kinda have a point not gonna lie)" Caroline said in a low tone.
"Great! At least you are self aware girl" Aaliyah said.
"It's not like I have a choice..." Caroline said in an even lower tone.
Aaliyah was planning to make a snarky comment on what she just heard but decided to keep it to herself as she noticed how Caroline delivered the remark in a serious voice. On top of that, she also noticed how Caroline wasn't making snarky comebacks anymore.
"You know what, I'll make us something first to eat before we proceed further. We can't discuss anything with an empty stomach" Aaliyah suggested.
"I agree..."
The two set up a bonfire to use as a stove. Aaliyah made some fried banana out of it. Then they used the banana leaf as their plate. Hungry, the two began eating relentlessly as if there's no tomorrow. It was during her fourth banana when Clotilde break the silence and says something.
"This really... taste hella good. So delicious I could die right now"
"Thanks asshat" Aaliyah sarcastically replied.
"Hey! I was trying to be genuine dammit! Why you always gotta be a dick?" Clotilde asked while she is eating her sixth banana.
Aaliyah finished her banana first before she made a reply. Her face went from being a smug into a pitiful one.
"I'm sorry, I don't know how to take compliments. That has always been my problem ever since I was a kid. I'm the type who would rather give it to others than me receiving it" Aaliyah explained.
Realizing how Aaliyah became serious, Clotilde became serious as well.
"Is that why you're a Professional Food Reviewer at Google Reviews?" Clotilde asked.
"Pretty much yup" Aaliyah answered.
"Oh that's great. I read some of the ones you wrote and I like the way how you articulate your thoughts on the dishes, I think they're well written"
"Stop lying you bas-. Sorry... Old habits. I meant thanks..."
"I mean it, seriously! Remember when you made a review on the burger joint near our school?"
"Yeah I did, what about it?"
"I remember you gave it a one star review. I was so desperate of looking for something to eat and figured I could settle for those. But when I looked up their store online, the first thing I saw was your review. You gave such a precise feedback on the burgers they were serving and figured it was not worth it"
"Is that so?"
"Ja! I heard the burger joint is closed now due to failing the health inspection. I really did owe you on that one"
"Well thanks, I guess... Now I feel bad being mean towards you"
"That's fine. You're welcome. You're not the only one anyways..."
Aaliyah caught her last words but decided to not probe any further. After they eat, which went 30/70 by the way (thirty percent of the fried bananas went to Aaliyah, seventy percent to Caroline) they began discussing their plans on surviving the deserted island. Aaliyah then wore her strainer helmet to which Caroline was wondering where she got it, but the latter was posing like she's some military general about to direct orders.
"Alright here's the plan. There's sufficient enough ingredients there for me to make a variety of banana dishes. Banana ain't really my favorite fruit, it's actually mango (Author's Comments: It is the best fruit of all time, fight me!) but it is what it is"
"Same, it ain't my fave. Mine is watermelon"
"Right... Anyways, my task is I'll be the one to do the cooking and yours is umm... just... try not to go ahead of yourself and eat everything okay?"
"Gotcha..."
"Maybe we could eat twice in a day or if we get used to it, let's do once. We gotta maximize our resources until we find a way outta this deserted island"
Nevertheless, the two cooperated strictly to the plan. Caroline wasn't eating in bulk as much she used to.
Weeks have already passed and the supply is noticeably getting low. The ingredients already ran out and there's only a couple of bananas left to consume. That's not the main concern however as Aaliyah noticed how Caroline is looking a bit weaker.
"You okay, Carol?" Aaliyah asked with concern.
"Yes" Caroline exclaimed with confidence. Then her stomach growls.
"Actually... no"
Aaliyah assisted Caroline as they both sat down to have a talk.
"It's not like I chose to be a glutton..."
Caroline Schumacher then began telling her story.
"If I don't eat in bulk, for some reason I'll experience pain. This pain in the stomach, it's like being stabbed with twenty knives simultaneously. I couldn't bare it"
"Must've been rough" Aaliyah replied in a pitying tone.
"Yup, that's the story of my life. Had to eat in bulk one time in class, next thing you know rumors began spreading around the campus. The "Hungry German Kid" they say right? Now everyone's afraid like I'm some bully who will take their lunch forcibly"
"Oh I don't know about that..." Aaliyah remarked. Caroline was in confusion by her statement. Aaliyah then continued her point.
"That's cool and all but that's not an excuse for you to steal my Michelin Star Sandwich"
"You're still hang up on that? It's not like I have a choice. I was beginning to feel the said pain when I stumbled upon your sandwich in which at that time, I didn't know it belonged to someone else" Caroline explained.
"I disagree Carol. We all have a choice. I feel bad for your situation but, what's mine is mine. I would've gladly shared it with ya if you just asked me in the first place. Now we ended up beefing because of that greed of yours" Aaliyah replied.
Their conversation came to a halt when suddenly, something emerged from the waters. The two were shocked at what they are seeing. As if the situation couldn't get any weirder. A giant octopus appeared right before them!