Well, where I have to go now? Where should I go? Now I have come to Gilgit. But I haven't come so close yet. Now I could only see mountains far away. They were also not clear. By the way, where will I be at this time? I don't know anything. All I know is that I have reached Khyber Pakhtunkhwa through Punjab and now Gilgit. I have traveled only half of the country so far. What about the rest? How will I go to Sindh and Balochistan? I said to myself angrily. What should I do now? By the way, I know a lot about Gilgit that the Karakoram mountain range is here. And the second highest peak of the world, Mount Godwin Austen, is located in the same mountain range. And also that the highest passes of the world, Khunjerab and Sindoor, are here. Khunjerab pass joins China and Pakistan. What if I go to China? Is it possible? Hahaha, going to China! Not possible even if I die. I was chatting. Well, how nice if I go to China.
"Oh, how is that possible? Anyway, why should I think about that which is not possible? I started moving forward on that road again. By noon, I just kept walking and walking. As the cool breeze hit my body, I could smell the ice cream. I took the coat out of the bag given by the uncle and put it on. It was pretty, but even better, it was warm. I sat down and took the noodles out of the bag and started eating them. I have been eating noodles as a snack for almost two years . They don't taste very good like this but they satisfy my hunger and also they are edible for a long time. And frankly speaking, they are cheap too. But now I am sick of them and want something new and tasty. Actually now I am fed up with this journey and want to end it. Will it happen? What will I do now? Shall I read? Yes it is good. I shouted happily. But as usual my happiness did not last long. I suddenly thought that my school,my fees and the remaining expenses of my studies.....
All this in today's world is done with pieces of paper. The paper that does not allow parents to love their children. It is very strange that a person is dependent on this paper for everything. And because of this paper, which we call money, I never got the attention and love of my parents. But whatever it is, I will read now. How long will I live my life like this? After all, I have also right to read. Yeah, I know I have nothing but bad luck, still I will change my luck and make it good. For myself, for my happiness.I stood up with a firm determination and started walking again on the same road. I had a long way to go. I looked at the clock and here it was seven o'clock. I was surprised but the next moment I realized that the clock had stopped. "Oh, it's worse," I muttered. I kept walking until the sun started to turn red.
I don't know why not a single ride had passed from here since morning. Now I am tired of walking.So, I thought to wait for a ride. But if no ride comes, I will have to spend the night here. But what should I do now? Now I am very tired It was not possible for me to walk further. I started talking to myself. Well, I'll sleep here somewhere if I don't get a ride. Anyway, I think the night here will be very beautiful. Who wouldn't like a lot of pearls in the clear sky? As the night was approaching, I went a little further from the road. Here it was desolate. I kept searching to find a tree, but there was no tree, not even a plant. I stood there and started looking around. Suddenly, I saw a shadow in the distance. When I ran towards it, I heard a strange sound. I looked back and got a shock. My skirt was tangled in the bush and torn very badly. I screamed. How did this happen? When did this bush come here and if it came then how did my skirt get stuck in it ? Oh my god, what happened? I had barely three dresses already. Now it was almost finished. I hurriedly separated my tangled skirt from the nonsense bush and stomped furiously towards the shadow. It became more prominent. And after a while I realized that it was a large, bushy tree.I happily ran towards it and the next moment instead of the shade of a tree, I fell into a big pit.
"Wow! How great it is! My life is full of adventures." I said this in anger. My scream came back and hit my own ears. What could I do now, tired all day long? So, I sat quietly on one side. After sometime, I took out a sheet from bag and spread it on the ground and covered myself with a shawl.Anyway, I was not feeling so cold here. Maybe that's why God sent me to this pit because it was a very cold night.
Even in the pit there was a cold breeze sometimes. But it was still peaceful here. I lay down comfortably and started staring at the sky. The sky looked more beautiful than I thought. I wish I could ever see these stars up close. I know they look more beautiful from a distance. Whether I see them from a far or up close, my love for them will never diminish. Because these are the ones who have always been with me. Wherever I go, they never leave me alone. They listen to everything I say. I sometimes scold them, but they come back glowing the next night. It feels like they are saying me not to worry. We are always with you. You are not alone. But still, the company of stars cannot make up for the lack of human beings. A human being needs a human being to be happy. It's okay. What should I do if people don't like me? I wish there was only one person who can understand me. Someone who gives me some time, love and attention. Well, I don't need anyone. I'm fine on my own. I said this and took the crotch aside. Thinking of thousands of things, I lost myself in the valley of sleep. In the morning, due to the chirping of birds, my eyes soon opened.
"Now how do I get out of here?" I spoke looking around with half-open eyes. I stood up and took out a bottle of water from the bag and washed my face. Now I was feeling a little better. But now the big problem was how to get out of here. What to do? It was not possible to have any human being here. However, I tried hard to get out. This hole was long but narrow. I was placing my legs on the wall one by one and going up as if a person were swimming. But every time my foot would slip and I would fall down the cliff. It was very difficult for me.
But somehow I came out of this pit of hell. A cold wind was blowing. I was looking at this vast plain when suddenly a cherry blossom flower fell at my feet. I looked around and found a big cherry blossom tree behind me. It was the same tree that I considered bushes at night. It was extremely beautiful. So much beautiful that I can't describe its beauty in words. The pink petals were fluttering here and there due to the blowing air. I went a little closer to the tree. Suddenly, I heard a faint meowing sound. I looked around but saw nothing. Again there was a sound. I was shocked and looked under the tree and found a cute white cat sitting on the pink leaves, but something red was spread around it. I went closer and saw that fountain of blood was bursting out from the cat's foot. The cat suddenly got scared seeing me. And tried to run away but its wound was forcing it to stay in one place. I step forward and took its small injured leg in my hand. A big thorn was stuck in its leg. I quickly took out a water bottle, cotton and bandage from my bag and started treating it. First, I soak the cotton in water and cleaned its wound and then put the clean cotton on the wound and put a bandage on it. For so long the cat was looking at me with its bright round eyes.
"Oh! I'm sorry. I forcibly treated you." I said this and stood up. I was about to turn around when that innocent cat said again "meow,meow." I turned and saw it. I felt like it was trying to get closer to me.
"Oh don't move. Your wound will get worse." I patted its head. But it kept looking at me.
If I would leave it here like this, its wound might get worse. And it would die of pain and hunger.
Thinking this, I picked it up and step ahead again towards my destination.
" Come on, from today you are my friend and I'm yours. Okay?" I said looking at it.
"Meow.Meow."
Hearing its voice, I felt as if it could understand me.
"It seems that you have been someone's pet. That's why you can understand what I say. Let me give you a good name. Um, your name is 'Blossom' because you met me under the cherry blossom tree."
Its meow in response to everything make me felt as if it was very happy to come to me. I was also walking on this road while talking to it.
"Well, Blossom, why did your master leave you? Anyway, don't be sad. You and I are the same. I left my family and your family left you. It's the same thing." I consoled it.
"How can be one thing? There is a big difference between the two things." I thought in my heart.
Well, leave it. Let me tell you in advance that 'I am a very poor girl. I have no home, no money, and no one of my own. But if you still want to be with me, you are welcome. I can buy at least one cup of milk for you.' It said again "meow" as if it was saying that 'it doesn't matter. I will spend it in one cup of milk.'
I comforted it and we started again towards our destination. We kept walking and walking and finally by nightfall, I could see twinkling lights in the distance.
"Look, Blossom, we have reached."
When I shouted, Blossom in my lap, woke up and said only one thing and that was 'meow'.
"Oh! What are you? Why can't you say something else? Something that I understand. Well, no problem. At least you say something to me. Now I'm not alone. That's enough for me.
I hung my bag forward, unzipped it and put Blossom in it. And it comfortably put its head out and sat in it. I ran to a shop first from where I bought a small carton of milk for Blossom and some of items for myself
"Can I get a bowl in which I can give this milk to the cat?" I asked the shopkeeper
"Not a cup, it's a plate, if you want it." He replied
"Why not? Give it to me. It will be a favor." I said immediately. I took this plate from him and came out. I sat down a little far away in a quiet place and served Blossom with all the milk on the plate
"Come on, drink all this milk quickly. I will take you to a doctor in the morning." It looked at me and started drinking milk again. I also took out biscuits from my bag and started eating them
"I wish I could get tea along with biscuits in this cold weather. How much fun, am I right Blossom?" As soon as I said this, it looked at me and moved the plate of milk towards me with its foot. I was shocked to see that and suddenly my laughter came out and my eyes became moist
"No, you drink it. I'm talking about tea and that's without any reason too. This biscuit looks delicious without tea." I gestured it to drink and it started drinking milk again. But at that moment my eyes were full of tears. I started thinking about the days when I used to drink tea all the time, lying in a blanket in my room alone, during winter.
After two or three hours, I would call maid and ask for tea.I would get tea, but I did not enjoy it. I used to drink every cup of my tea crying. I wanted such a life where, in the winter, my siblings and I would snuggle up on the cots in the yard and enjoy the moments of happiness with a cup of tea. But I did not get all this then and not now. Rather, even the cup of tea that I used to drink while sitting alone was also gone.
Ahh ! After all, what is the difference between then and today? I was sad then and still today. It seems that one day I will leave this world with the same sadness. I looked at the sky and then Blossom who was sleeping wrapped up. The milk plate was empty. I smiled and then laid my bed there. The whole day today passed away just by walking. So, I was very tired. Soon I fell asleep. Then I didn't know how long I slept. Not until the morning. I think until the afternoon. If Blossom hadn't tickled my feet, I might have slept until evening.
"Oh my God! It's too late." I quickly packed my bed and walked towards the valley with Blossom.
"So, you also know how to wake up a sleeping person." I said while looking at Blossom. She started shyly entering the bag.
"Oh, you know how to blush too," I said, pulling it out.
Me ... Oh no! We had entered the valley now. I had enough money now. If I wanted to, I could feed myself and Blossom for two years with the money given to me by old gentleman, adopting miserliness. (It is called frugality, not miserliness). But I thought of buying a house with this money. No need to be surprised. There are no luxurious bungalows here. Just a small wooden house with one bathroom and one room. Which is not that expensive, not cheap either. I wanted to buy house a little away from the township. Not because it's cheap but because I don't like the population. Actually, I don't like the noise.
As I said, I don't like noise, that's why I decided to buy a house far away from the population. Well, if I bought a house far away, I would have a hard time. I have to go so far to buy every little thing. Anyways, I will bring all the stuff at once. I was talking to myself.
"Excuse me! Can you tell me the address of a good home seller? I asked a forty-five-year-old man after entering the settlement.
"Sorry. I'm just here for vacation." He answered.
"Oh, no problem. I'll ask someone else. Sorry to bother you." I bowed slightly and said 'God bless you' and walked to the other side. I had now reached a crowded market. There were tourists more than locals. I asked many people but no one knew. Some people replied without listening to me that we don't know. Ask someone else, etc. But still I didn't give up and asked everyone whom I feel like a local. In fact, most of the tourists were dressed like locals. That's why I was having a bit of a hard time. I got tired and sat at a tea stall.
"What do you want?" I suddenly scared after hearing such a loud voice which actually belonged to the owner of the shop. He might have been a resident of here. Not maybe, it is confirmed that he was from here, 'a healthy white man.'
"I don't want anything." I replied fearfully.
"If you don't want anything, get out of here. Run away. This is not a place to rest." He replied again angrily.
"It's fine. Don't be angry. I'm going." I made an innocent face while saying that maybe mercy will come to me.
"Yes, yes, come on. It's good that you are going." I heard this and stepped outside.
"By the way..." I only said that he would flare up again.
"What is it now, let's go now. I am already getting angry."
"I was just asking if you know any realtor. I have been looking for since morning. Please save me from further wandering." I said all in one breath. But he was still staring at me angrily.
"Come on. Don't stare at me. I'm going." Saying this, I turned and stomped my feet. Oh! The foot hit a little harder and twisted. I writhed in pain but did not show it.
"Go ahead to the fourth shop on the right."
I turned around hearing this. He was still looking at me with anger but I became happy and ran forward after a look at him.
"Oh no." I turned back and thanked him by shouting loudly. I was soon standing in front of the shop. On the board above was written "Nothing Prettier Than Your Home." I smiled and then went inside. The office was quite beautiful inside and the best part was that outside noise was not coming inside. There was only one old woman sitting here.
"Grandma, where is the owner?" I asked, patting her shoulder.
"What? Who? Who are you? What do you want?" She asked me a lot of questions in slow motion.
I, actually, wanted a home." I gave a brief reply while looking around.
"What kind of house do you want?"
"I will talk to him and let him know." I replied annoyed but with a little gentleness in tone.
"Nasty, ill-mannered girl."
"What did you say ?" I asked, sounding surprised to hear this.
"Don't you hear? I said nasty, rude, ignorant, insolent girl. She said shouting.
"Oh! What I have said to you? I said with a look.
"You don't know when elderly people ask something , then answer them quietly. Don't talk nonsense." She said.
"I just said that I will talk to the owner. This is not rude." I replied angrily.
"Just look. Rude girl. Now you are not even admitting your mistake. But still rude while talking. Repentance! Repentance! May God have mercy on today's ill-mannered children." She said while holding her ears.
"You are calling me rude again. But let's go now, I can bear it. I just want to ask, where is the owner?" I asked, controlling my anger.
"First of all, you should ask who the owner is, not where the owner is. Do you understand or not? She said once again throwing words at me.
"Meow,meow." Before I could say anything, my cat spoke up.
"Just look. Your cat is also rude like you. It doesn't know even that it should not do it in front of elders."
"What ?" Hearing this, I flared up like a volcano, but did not let the lava go out (means did not show anger). Now she would spare my cat.
"Well, that's fine. I ask, who is the owner here?" I asked softly.
"What?" She stood up angrily saying this.
"Now what did I say?" I asked scared.
"Are you a queen or a princess?" She spoke more angrily.
"Now what happened?" I asked more scared.
"Oh, you don't know. Well, what was the way to ask something, 'Now I ask that'." She said while mocking me.
"I'm sorry grandma." I said holding my ears.
"Be careful. If you call me grandmother, I will kill you." She said angrily.
"I'm sorry. Actually I wanted a really small house away from the population." I said nervously.
"Oh, youwould have said it first. Come on, sit here. Come." She took my hand and made me sit on a chair. Seeing her behavior, I became more nervous. But even than I sat quietly. Even Blossom also panicked and entered the bag.
"So you want a house that too away from the population." She asked gently.
"Yes, you are right." I replied.
"I have many houses away from the population but most of them are rented out. Will a far away house work?" She said with a smile.Now even her smile was scaring me.
"Yes. But its price....." I had just said so much that she started speaking, "The price will be low, but just for the far away one." She said gesturing 'just' with her hand.
"So, it's fine. If the price is low, then anywhere will work." I replied.
"Haha. Good, very good. But yes, one more thing. That house must be a bit old." She said staring at me.
"No problem. I'll shine it. You just take me there," I said, holding her hand.
"No,no. When did I say that I will take you there. Go yourself. Just give me eleven thousand rupees." She said, moving her hand back.
"What? How can I? And eleven thousand in just one month?" I asked, surprised.
"No. That house will be yours forever in eleven thousand. And I will not let you wander, I will give you a map." She answered.
"What? A house of just eleven thousand! I thought in my heart. I had a little doubt.
"Does the house have a roof?" I suddenly asked.
"Why? What happened? Do you doubt me? She looked at me wide-eyed.
"No, nothing. Nothing like that." I said with a wry smile.
"Come on, look here. Just understand carefully, because this map will lead you to your home." She said, holding a pencil and pointing to the paper. I focused, but what was it? Here, that, where, there, right, forward, left.
"Take it. I made it. Now give me money and go." She said while holding the map to me. But my mind was still confused with the lines of that map.
"You didn't listen. Give me my money and get lost." She scolded me, so I grabbed the map, but she didn't let it go. Extending her other hand, she said, "Money first." I angrily cracked the map, opened the bag and took out ten thousand from the envelope and moved it towards her. She grabbed them but I didn't let go and said "keys and map first". So she also angrily took out the key from a box on the table while muttering something and placed the key and the map in front of me. I smiled and handed the money to her. She quickly grabbed the money and started counting. When I stood up, she said angrily: "Hey girl! It's only ten thousand."
It's actually a disease of mine of not paying the full amount. And anyway I took a thousand, because of what you messed up.
When I said this, I was shocked to hear her reply : "Let's take it as a discount from me."
Then I said her goodbye and came out.I opened the map and started walking according to it. I bought food items and grocery from two shops on the way. Actually, the short lines that Grandma drew were actually as long as the motorway. In fact, I spent the night looking for the house.
I was not in a valley anymore, but on a high mountain. I was afraid of looking back. Actually, this house was so cheap because it was located on the top of the mountain. There were also other houses here but very few in number. I could see quite a few lights but they were far apart. The night call started everywhere. I started walking faster. Blossom had fallen asleep. Now I had to do myself, whatever was to do. I had reached the last road according to the map. As I moved forward, I encountered more cold winds.
Grandmother had told that after a few weeks it will start snowing. How beautiful it would look! I was so happy just thinking about it, what will be my condition when I see it with my own eyes. I was walking forward thinking it in my heart and then suddenly I saw a light. As I shouted happily, Blossom jumped out of the bag and looked around nervously.
"I'm sorry. Nothing happened. Well, you should wake up now because we found our house." I said, beckoning it to me. It came back to me while saying 'meow' ,and we went happily towards our house. Finally, I got my own house. I can't describe the feeling. I was so happy. After about fifteen minutes, we were standing in front of the door of my house.
"Wow! Blossom.Look, this is exactly the kind of house I always wanted." I said looking at Blossom with wet eyes. It hugged my feet as if it was telling me, "How can I cry when I finally get it?" I smiled, took it in my lap and went ahead. I unlocked the door and opened it with full force. It was quite dark inside. So I took down the lantern hanging near the door and entered. What it was? Someone's stuff was already here. Maybe it was lying here for a long time, that's why it was covered with dust and cobwebs. I looked around and saw the switch board. I went ahead and pressed one of the buttons. The fan went on. I was about to scream (due to cold) when the button fell by itself and the fan stopped. I pressed the second button. The light flickered on. I was about to thank God that it also went off with a jerk. 'I don't know how old this all is,' I muttered. I put my bag aside and then took the lantern myself and went to one side. It must have been the bathroom. I opened the door and jumped. A mouse ran over my foot. I ran back out of the house. Blossom also ran after me.
"What is that, Blossom? We won't be able to sleep in our house today, but we can definitely sleep in front of it." I said looking at the Blossom.
"Well, wait, let me bring my bag. Just for today we will sleep in this cold.If God wills it, from tomorrow we will sleep in our house." Saying this, I went inside and came back with my bag within two seconds. Then I made the bed here and took Blossom to lie down with me.
"You must be hungry. You and I will have a big breakfast in the morning. Okay?" I said while running my hand on its soft hair.
"You must be feeling cold." Saying this, I covered it with half my cloak.
"You know Blossom when I was in high school, I read that the night in the northern areas is thousand times more beautiful than the day here. Therefore, I always wanted to have a small house there where I could be alone and enjoy the beautiful night everyday. And look, today I got what I always wanted. After saying that, I looked at Blossom who had been asleep for a while. I smiled and looked at the sky again. The stars were less visible due to the fog, but still the sky looked beautiful. After all, the sky also has its own value. People run after reason of beauty. I don't think anyone has ever called the sky beautiful without the moon, sun and stars. Anyways! People are people. And everyone has different thoughts. I fell asleep talking to myself like that. My woke up at about four or five o'clock in the morning. I performed ablution from the tap in the yard and performed the morning prayer and then started walking around. When the sunlight spread a little, I returned home. I opened the window. The sun rays began to enter and lit the house. Then I removed the cloth covering the furniture and placed it outside by the tap. The furniture was neither special nor old. Well, if it was special, someone would have not left it like that.
After that I dusted and swept the house. After that I wiped the house with a wet cloth. Then I cleaned the kitchen. And so, my whole day was spent chasing rats, pulling down cobwebs and killing spiders. In spite of all this, I had made my house completely bright and today I was going to get a good night's sleep.
Today the weather was quite bad. The clouds were thundering, but when the lightning crackled, my heart would be scared. But still I made omelet for myself at night and also boiled milk and served it to Blossom. After some time I sat in the room. The bulb was still fused. Only zero bulb of green color was burning, which I kept off due to fear. I lit the lantern and placed it on the floor near me. The weather was getting worse now. I sat quietly in the blanket.
"Blossom, come to me. Otherwise, you will be scared." I slowly pulled Blossom close to me. Suddenly the window started to rattle loudly. Due to the wind, all the papers were blown from the table by the window. White papers spread everywhere in the room. Before anything else could happen, I ran to close the window and crawled back into my blanket. I started reciting in a loud voice. After some time the wind subsided but it rained heavily.
"Oh no! I put the clothes outside to dry." I ran outside. Blossom also dragged the lantern behind me. I quickly took off all the clothes in the heavy rain, but some were blown around by the wind. I quickly collected them too and came inside half soaked.
"Oh, so cold....." That's all I could say. After that, I walked stiffly and put the clothes in a corner. I was walking stiffly because when the cold clothes would touch my body, I would get goosebumps. Anyway, after enduring all this, I came back in the blanket with wet clothes. I was still feeling very cold. I wish there were logs I could burn in the ring. But here,in the ring, were only ashes. I looked around and then got out of the blanket and started collecting papers and then put some of them in the ring and lit the fire.
The fire burned for a while and then all the papers turned to ashes. But still I felt a little relief. I came back to my bed again and lay down. Now I would have to do some outside work tomorrow like cleaning the flower beds, cleaning the gallery etc. Actually there was no special gallery. There was a small boundary of wood around the house. That's why the clothes didn't fly far today. They were trapped in the same boundary. And the most important thing that I had to do was to install the light bulb. The house looked so terrible at night. I remembered this work after seeing the darkness and I saved it in my mind. I had just closed my eyes when I started hearing the sound of tapping. I got up and looked around and saw water dripping on the table from the window.
"Now that's all lacked." I said angrily and without wanting to get up I moved the table aside and brought a bucket from the bathroom and put it under it. After great efforts, I managed to sleep. But where was my peace of mind? Around two or three o'clock in the night I heard the sound of something falling, so I woke up. I looked around and realized that Blossom was not there. I quickly got out of the blanket and went to the kitchen with lantern. Here, Blossom was probably looking for water.
"Oh, Blossom! If you wanted water, you would have woken me up. I wasn't in deep sleep." I said while pouring water in the plate. It sat quietly. I gave it water and came back to my room.
It was still raining outside. But lightly. After some time, Blossom also came and lay near me. I fell asleep again. Thank God, my eyes opened at dawn. I went to the washroom with half-opened eyes. As soon as I put my hand under the tap, I screamed. The water was as cold as ice. And I did not know where my sleep went away. Nevertheless, I performed ablution and offered the morning prayer. Time was getting short now. I couldn't sleep properly the whole night. That's why I fell asleep again. Then again at twelve o'clock in the afternoon , my eyes opened due to thunder. The weather was very bad. I got up and washed my hands and then woke up Blossom. After that I went to the kitchen without making the bed. Because I knew that I would be in the same bed again after some time. I warmed water for Blossom and bathed it again. And brought it to the stove in the kitchen. Then I warmed up the bread with milk for Blossom. And I also made tea and put the egg in the bread and came in the room. Today I was drinking tea after almost a year. I washed the dishes with hot water and then started pacing around aimlessly.
"I don't think I can do anything today, Blossom."
I said picking up Blossom in my arms.
"I was thinking that I will do all the housework today. And tomorrow I will go to grandma who was the home owner. Once I would have asked about the goods, I would have been relieved. But today it seems that this rain will not allow me to do anything." There was no wood to light the fire.I spent the whole day lying in bed.
Blossom's wound was almost healed now.
"You know Blossom, I'm still having a lot of trouble. I want to study, I want to earn money. For myself and for you. And I want to live a happy life with you. Only and only with you."
Saying this, I looked at Blossom, but its health seemed to me a little bad.
"Blossom, how are you? You seemed unwell to me since yesterday." I said while patting her head. It was suddenly shocked to hear my voice as if there was something it didn't want to tell me. "But what could it be?" I thought about it for a moment but then didn't pay much attention. I got up and walked around the room, put the table back in its place and then sat on the chair near the table. Seeing the pencil and paper, I suddenly remembered the promise I made to the story writer. I smiled and took the pencil in my hand and started writing:
" The journey that I started without any thought, without any fear, and without any support has finally come to an end. I didn't have a single goal. I had many wishes. To live my own life, to move away from my family, to travel far, to travel the world and many more. But I have ended my journey with a lot of thoughts___
I don't know if it will be all that I thought. But still, if I get just one day or even just a few moments to spend the way I want. So nothing will make me happier than that.
I met many people during my journey. All were good to me. But there were some of them who hurt me a lot. Like Udaina. Till today, I have never mentioned how she left me. But today I will tell. I want to reduce the pain.I want to forget the pain that I could not forget even after a year.
'Sorrow is always lessened by sharing.'
Honestly, I've never had as much fun with anyone as I did with Udaina. Today I have a friend, Blossom. But a cat can't understand the pain of a human being. What my human friend did to me, I won't call it bad at all. I just feel sad about what fate has done to me. I used to say that we make our own fate, but now I feel that I was wrong. Honestly, the world teaches us a lot. Just a learner be here. Because when I started my journey, my thoughts were completely different from today's views. I used to see this world in a different way. But now I have learned. I have realized that this world is not the same. Every color of this world shows a different appearance. Some colors show a good appearance and some show bad. Finally, I came
to know the truth.
Now it doesn't matter how many miles I walked, or how many nights I lay awake, or how many fears I fought, or how many years I spent eating raw noodles. It doesn't matter anymore to anyone but me. Because it was me who suffered it. I remember spending three days looking for a place to stay in mud-covered clothes. And finally I changed in a hotel bathroom.
I remember very well when people would look at my old, broken shoes with awkward eyes and then look at me from head to toe contemptuously. I can never forget it. And that too when I was sitting alone in the forest with tears in my eyes. To be honest, I can never forget those events that taught me many lessons."(To be continued)
'Oh, I was about to tell you about Udaina.' I said in a loud voice to wake myself up. After listening to my words, Blossom looked at me and said 'meow'.
"Oh, you want to know first." I smiled and put the pencil on top of the pages and lay back down next to Blossom.
"So then___ I should tell you first. After all, you are my best friend." I said laughing.
You know Blossom. You are my other good friend. There was one before but she left me. Actually, she also ran away from her house and came to a hotel. And there she was a waiter. I thought of working there for a month as usual. I was hired by the master on the request of Udaina. I worked there for a whole month. I lived there with her in a room on the roof. We had a lot of fun together. When the month was over, I took my salary and started to leave but she stopped me.
Ahh ! I ended my journey with more thought but______One morning I woke up and found a letter lying on Udaina's bed. I opened it,it was written on it:
"Dear Larina! I'm sorry, but I have some dreams that I can't fulfill by staying here. I'm going back to my parents. I know they won't mind me going back, but I have a lot to do. This all can only be done with money. I will endure the rest of my life the way I have endured here alone. I want to open my own company when I grow up, which will require a lot of money. So much money that I can't earn alone even if I want to.
I know that it will make a difference to you without me, but for a few days or a few weeks or a few months. After that you will also be happy without me. I will pray for your future life. Be happy and enjoy your life. Fulfill your dreams, true happiness will come from it.
Goodbye."
It was also written in the last that, 'please forgive me.' I told Blossom in detail. I had memorized that letter. How could it not be? After all, I had read it so many times.
Tears were about to burst from my eyes, but now I had a friend, Blossom, which calmed me down a bit.
If I put my pain aside and think, Udaina didn't do anything wrong. After all, she had dreams of her own. She was willing to do anything to fulfill them. I still think about it today. Will she still be living the same dull life? Wouldn't she wait every day for her father and mother to come to her and ask her that daughter! How was your day today? I often wonder if she will still be eating alone at the great dining table. Will she still long to hear her parents say, come daughter, eat with us first. I often wonder if she is still bored all the time watching or playing on her mobile alone. To be honest, her life is worse than mine. So bad that a person asks for death instead of such a life.
Maybe it is because of her prayers that today I have my home and a friend. But how selfish I am? I never remembered my friend happily or on any happy occasion because of one mistake. I am really very bad. I have always prayed only for myself. Honestly, I have never prayed for anyone else but I miss her so much. I wish I could meet her someday. But maybe it will never happen. Because there are miles between us now. But I am happy that now she has revived in my heart as a good friend.
"Meow."
I was shocked to hear Blossom's voice.
"What happened Blossom? Did I fall asleep?
No, I did not sleep." I said while standing up.
Blossom was repeatedly placing its tail over its sore spot.
"Blossom, show me your wound." I extended my hand towards it as I sat down. But it backed away.
"What happened? Show me." I said a little worried. But Blossom remained cling.
"What is this stubbornness?" I went ahead and forcefully set aside its tail, but I was shocked to see that Blossom's wound was bleeding profusely. And I thought there was a serious infection. I was scared. I didn't understand anything. How could I take it so far to doctor in such a rain? But there was no other option. Blossom's eyes were closing with pain. I was completely terrified. Tears started flowing from my eyes. When nothing understood, I took out my coat and wrapped Blossom in it and ran outside. It was still raining, but I ran without worrying about the cold or anything else. After running for half an hour, I stopped right in front of the veterinary hospital and entered without wasting a single moment. I placed the coat on the table with the blossom.
"Doctor! Please, heal my friend." The doctor came out after hearing my cries and screams. I fell at his feet.
"Please save it," I said, pointing at Blossom.
"Okay, okay. You stand up." He said to me and went towards Blossom. I became silent and stood near Blossom. However, tears did not stop falling from my eyes. When the doctor removed the coat, Blossom's lifeless body was seen surrounded by blood. My eyes blurred. I rushed towards it.
"Blossom! Get up now. You fell asleep so early. Let's stand up. Now the doctor will see your wound." I said these words quietly at first, but then my voice got louder.
"Doctor! It was meowing a while ago. Now what happened to it? Treat it. Its wound has worsened." I couldn't say anything else.
The doctor supported me but how could I cope now. My last, only friend had also left me. I was just sitting on the ground watching it. I sat and cried till the night and just kept crying.
"My child! Now let's bury it somewhere. Come." The doctor said.
"No, first you tell me how its wound was. It had completely healed a day ago. When did it worsen? I asked the doctor as I stood up and cope myself.
"Daughter, this wound was not an injury. Rather, your cat had a special disease that caused such life-threatening wounds. Its whole body was dead from the inside. It was probably enduring the pain of its wound for you." Hearing this, I became even more mad.
"I will bury my Blossom near me. Thanks for your kindness." I pushed the doctor aside, wrapped blossom again in my coat and walked out of the hospital. The streets were empty and it was still raining with the same glory.
"Stop! Rude rain. Go away. Look, my friend is dead." I screamed loudly.
Many people opened their shop windows and peeped out. I ran again and only ran and stopped in the yard of my house. I quickly brought a clean white cloth from the room and wrapped Blossom in it. After that wrapped it in another cloth. Then I dig the grave of my only friend while crying like a crazy girl in the middle of my flower bed in that heavy rain.I don't know why I took it down in that grave hurrily and put a lot of clay on it and drove it away from myself. forever. I spent the whole night with it in the dark, in the thunder of clouds and lightning and in the pouring rain. I was not afraid at all. Honestly, today I wasn't afraid at all.
In the morning, I found myself lying next to flower bed. The rain had stopped by now. The weather had cleared. But my happiness was washed away with the rainwater. My lot of tears were absorbed by the bed soil. I got up and braced myself and came inside the room. It was like a sudden storm for me. A storm that finally left me alone again. I saw my clothes and hands that were stained with my friend's blood. This blood belonged to the same friend who hid its sorrow for me.
"What happened?"
"How did it happen?" I don't know the answer to these questions. But why did it happen? I know this. It happened because my fate is my biggest enemy. I start to think that my life is better now then my fate reminds me:
"Larina! Come to your senses. It's you. Good for you! Don't expect it."
Well, I will bear this too. After all, Blossom also did the same to me as Udaina did. No one understood my pain. Saying this, I started crying again.
"No, it's not like that. Blossom did all this for me."I started crying and said loudly, "I wish I could die now. Whether I live or die doesn't make a single bit of difference in this world. Whether I am there or not will not matter to anyone."
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