I noticed how quiet he got every single time he interacted with her, and it was unsettling to me how much communication he had with the woman who almost brought him down several times. Maybe he really still was more ambitious than I had realised, even more so now that he lost everything he had worked so hard for. Was this why he went so far as to burn down the brothel where I was staying, was he so desperate to get me back because of this? He frequently visited the brothel for me and waited for me at all hours of the night…now that I think back to those times, how did he manage to come to me straight away? He didn't even hide what he was doing in front of HuiJae at the time, who could have easily ruined him for it, so why didn't she? Her attempts to thwart me weren't even as heavy as they used to be, and she had a chance to kill me every single day that I was here, so why wasn't she? Why was she so afraid of my man now? What had happened between them that the bold and challenging HuiJae had become so…subservient to him now? As I was? Was he playing us both? Once again I had so many doubts about the man who stalked me, who admitted to trapping me into a pregnancy that I had always wanted but didn't come at the most peaceful time of our lives and had us down on paper as a legally wedded couple as soon as we…consummated our love for each other for the first time. But instead of showing me off as his noble wife on the outside, he kept me locked up in my own home just as his father did. There were definitely times that I did appreciate his possessiveness over me, but I hadn't had a life outside of these walls since I moved into this inauspicious home, and I was going to change that, no matter what he felt about me.
I crept up behind him as he sat on the stump of a tree that HuiJae had cut down in her anger a long time ago and I put my arms around his waist and I just melted myself onto his back. I tried to observe him as closely as I could, and from what I could see, he didn't flinch when he was with me unlike when he was with her. He always took a step back when she approached him, but when it came to me he always pulled me into his arms and just held onto me, even when he was in his own little world. "What are you doing out here wife, it is rather cold outside." "Where else can I be if you are not home with me, husband?" "Did you make my cakes?" "I had some left over, they are already waiting for you as we speak." "Let us go then." He picked me up in his arms without looking at me and took us back into our quarters where he was all over me, but I still had no idea if it was out of love or guilt or something else. I knew how he was with me in our most intimate moments, but since he did what he did to get me here…no, since the first night we spend together after he was released from the dungeons, he was completely restless and he thought that I couldn't see it. Maybe now was the time where he was fighting with his ambitions and plans of a family life, and I needed to know what the answer was.
"Husband, please be gentle, you are holding me too tightly…." "What are we calling him? My son?" "I am not sure yet, but however many children we have, I want them all to start with the same character." "And how do we decide which one is the best one?" "That is up to you, but I will have to approve first since I am the one who is keeping him alive as he messes around with my bodily hormones." "You are certainly eating a lot more than you ever have but that is a good thing, you already lost so much weight in the brothel." "As did you when you were finally released from the dungeons." "And it was your food that nourished me back to health, was it not?" "Was it? I do not remember you giving me the time to cook for you as much as I would have liked to. What did HuiJae feed you with when you lived with her alone? Husband?" "Let us not talk about that." He sounded quite defensive when I asked him this, but I was not going to give him the chance to change the subject, not anymore. "I asked you a question." "I cannot remember what I had." "Did she visit you a lot when you were in the dungeons?" "Not really." The conversation wasn't going how I wanted to, but I didn't want to start a fight out of nowhere, so I just chose to keep quiet throughout the rest of the night, which clearly irritated my husband, but I could tell that he wasn't going to say anything to me in case I asked him more questions. So I ended up getting into bed early without tending to him at all and he really was not happy about it. I didn't even let him touch me in bed as I was once again preoccupied with doubts and suspicions of his motives since he was realised from the dungeons. Maybe something did happen there that I was unaware of, but how could I investigate it? Jeong Boem would have told me if he felt something was off, so what was it?
"Do not overthink wife, you know that any kind of stress is bad for the baby." "And who is the one that is stressing me out? I cannot believe that after everything you have put me through to get where I am with you, that I have to deal with your family just as we finally got what he wanted." "I calculated all of her moves, but I didn't think that she would have gone this far as to call me family over." "If she were not here in the first pace, then this wouldn't have happened at all. But I have no idea what happened between you both, so I cannot even answer that." "Nothing happened." "So why is she still here? What was the point of us at all if she will always be here?" "I need her to get rid of The Senior Scholar, but I haven't gotten around to the details yet, that is why I am keeping her on here…" "…despite all of the humiliation and shame that she caused you? If it were a man, you wouldn't hesitate to kill her in an instant." "It is because she is a woman that I cannot harm her." "What exactly is that supposed to mean?" "No you cannot, you can never harm me…because harming me would ensure that there are no violent barriers for you if you ever lost your temper with your wife and the mother of your children. You can kill anyone and everyone, expect for women because of how highly you regard her more even than your own mother, isn't that right?"It is because…if I get violent with her, then there will be no barriers to stop me exhibiting the same behaviours with you…" "Are you really going to use as an excuse to drag this out, husband? You should have left me to rot in that brothel or send me back home to my brother if it was going to come to this!" "Wife!" "No, I have had more than enough now! I have tolerated your male concubines because they know their place and they have never caused issues for me before, but this particular woman is different and you know it! I even ran away from you to give you a chance to work things out with her if you wanted her and you still chose me! But the fact that she is still here shows me that you will still prioritise your ambitions over the family that you have groomed for yourself, just like how you betrayed my brother all of those years ago! And I would much rather be on my own than to deal with my own paranoia that you keep causing for me!" "Madame Nam? The wife of The Senior Scholar has turned up with a woman and is waiting for you in the parlour room."
"This is all I need! Very well, let me get dressed and I will arrive shortly….have HuiJae serve her tea and entertain her in my absence!" "Have you lost your mind wife! Don't you dare let her near…" "Why? Didn't you say that you wanted to use her to rid us of your boss? Or are you protesting because you want to keep the girl for yourself!" "That isn't what I mean and you know it!" "She has brought a girl with her, so it is most likely for you; I have snubbed her by not visiting her earlier and this is her payback? To insert a spy into our…your home? She is being pressured to disturb the peace of our home by hardly entering it in at all, and as you wife, I have to seen your troubles don't I? Even though you have hardly lessened mine since you came out of those dungeons…" "I went in there for you! I was tortured for you!" "And yet who was the one who rescued you before I even got the chance to? Why did I have to be the one to stay in a brothel once again when I had you? You know what? I have always loved you and I have never stopped, not even once! But I was never subservient to anyone before and now that I am to a man as ambitious as you are, it is robbing me of my peace of mind whilst you get me to do your dirty work for you! And I am finished!" "Just what the hell is that supposed to mean!" "You already have a beautiful manipulative and deceptive woman by your side along with your cousins, so you can use her instead!" "If you walk out of that door, then there is no coming back for you!" "That is fine! I have survived without you before and I can do it all over again! But she cannot, can she? I was never a part of your world anyways, so good luck crawling back to where you belong as your father rolls over on his grave!" "You do not mean that!" "Just watch me!"
"…as they say, a man marrying and a woman getting married are the greatest order of human relationships. And based on your background and status; it is already a great fortune for you to marry into an old family such as The Nam Clan. But as I have heard it, you have been you husband's companion for a long time and you are only now pregnant, I suppose that there is no harm for him to have other women around him to ensure his succession of heirs as he should. His own concubine is already getting married off so soon, so he does need the company for the work that he does in the palace that is beyond our comprehension as mere woman folk. And all men need male descendants; I have actually got more female servants thinly household needs, so I have decided to give some away to the men in our kingdom to help them ensure their succession for the good of this kingdom. This one for example that I have brought along with me can best sew clothes and her cooking is something that cannot be complimented enough. She can nourish your Nam Clan elders back to health with only a mean or two and no main wife wants the reputation of being jealous to block her husband's blessings." "Well she looks pretty enough and I can only see that you are thinking for my sake, so I would like to present you with a gift in return." "Madame Nam?" "Here, my husband's acquaintance has a lot of gifts that she hardy uses, including this ruby necklace that I could have sworn that I have seen somewhere before but I just cannot seem to place…anyways, I would be most delighted if you would accept it on her behalf." "Very well….oh, hang on a minute! I already seem to have this piece already! In fact I have several just like this…with the very same engravings on it…this is the former Mistress Han's I assume? I think I recall her being summoned to my husband's office quite a lot at one point in time…I think it was when The Former Lord Nam was frequenting your place of accommodation…" "Is that so My Lady? In that case, why don't I recommend her to your husband in return since they are already aquatinted with each other? Like you said, no main wife wants the reputation of being jealous to block her husband's blessings? Maybe I can make an arrangement for you after the procession of weddings that will take place in my family in the upcoming week? I have no reasonable excuse to help housing and feeding her and she is still suitable for child rearing in her old age as she sis technically still younger than you yourself are? I am sure that your husband will treat her sweetly and it would be convenient for your husband if he had Someome familiar with the palace to tend to his needs that us mere womenfolk cannot possibly comprehend?" "Well, how can I say reject now after you just used my own logic against me Madame?"