My heart always melted when I saw my angry young man making his way towards me with a bright red face and balled up fists that looked like they were ready to do some damage. Out of all of my children, my firstborn was the most serious and didn't know how to let his guard down. He didn't smile or laugh until he was 6 months old, and it was only was when I had to spend time with him on his own that I finally got him to calm down and not cry so much anymore. I could tell that his siblings had teased him again mercilessly in front of his beloved woman, or he wouldn't be as angry as he was now. Although he had a rather reserved personality, he was as easy going as my brother was, but when he got angry it was very clear to see who's son he was. But luckily for us, he had never gotten that angry yet, so his temperament was enough for me to handle.
"Come over here my love, and tell me what your siblings have done to you now." "Where is father?" "He is out with your uncle looking for the birthday boy. Unless he has found his big brother first to save him from whatever situation he is in now." I could always tell when my son was hiding something from me, since he couldn't lie for anything in the world. "Where is Hwan?" "You always ask about Hwan and Hana, and never about me." I could hear him mutter under his breath bitterly and my heart just melted even more; he was a jealous and possessive man just like his father but nowhere near to his extent. Both my husband and my sons liked to stay as close to me as possible, and they wanted me home all of the time. And as much as it broke my heart; Hyuk was much too old to stay around his old parents and constantly having to look after his baby brother, who was indeed the biggest baby boy at his age more than his twin sisters Eun-Jeong and Eun-Ji who were only 8 years old and adored him just as much as his own twin sister did.
"Are you going to tell me what has happened now? Talk to your mother." "Hana is an obsessive little brat who likes to embarrass me as much as possible." "She is your twin Hyuk, and someone who loves you and cares for you deeply." "Do you even know what she said to me?" "That she refuses to let anyone take you away from her? Like she always does?" "And you do not think there is something wrong with that? After she married our cousin?" "Are you still not wiling to let that go? You and Chul are still as close as before, even closer now that you are brother-in-law's." "You do not understand mother…" "in case you have forgotten, I am also married to my brother's best and only friend. So I understand a little bit." "And then your precious baby boy throws himself on top of me right in front of Bo-Geom! He of all people nows how I feel about her! I don't give him lectures about the hundreds of women he surrounds himself with and yet…" "Hyuk, you have been more of a father to Hwan than your own father has, you know the struggles and tensions they both have. Your relationship is not unlike your cousins Chul and Geom." "But that's different; their father was extremely busy at the time. But father and Hwan are like water and fire, they are just too different." "They are not too different Hyuk, they are exactly alike and that is the problem." "Mother?" "Hwan resembles your father a lot in his most troubled and darkest times, that is why Hwan does not share the relationship that you do with your father." "Is that why you care for him more than you do me? You're trying to make up for the affection then he doesn't have with father?"
"Hyuk ,why do you talk like this? I do not favour one child over the other, and I have always given you the attention that you needed." "Not as much as Hwan." My boy was still bitter about the whole situation, so I could only coax him by laying his head onto my lap like he used to as soon as he could crawl.
"As soon as you open your little eyes straight at me, I was completely obsessed with you. I just wanted to hold you in my arms all day long as your sister always cared about for her father whenever she saw him or heard him come home. You both had so much hair when you were born that I was almost frightened of you. And now look at you, your long hair is in perfect condition just like your father's." "I remember you chasing me around the house as soon as I could walk." "It was the only way I could get you to laugh for a long time. And as soon as you started to walk, you put your little head onto my lap as you are right now with your puffy little cheeks resting against my leg." "You were always picking me up, even when I just wanted to sleep. And you took me everywhere with you as much as possible, even when you were working or travelling." "I couldn't bare to part with you, no matter how moody and temperamental you were. And you refused to let me out of your sight either, you would cry for hours non-stop if I so much left the room that you were in." "Because only you could calm me down, only your touch could shut me up and only you held me close and long enough for me to fall asleep once you stopped assaulting my cheeks with your aggressive kisses." "You were just so delicious that I couldn't help myself; your cheeks were big enough to droop down your entire face. It is no wonder that it tool you a long time to smile or laugh at all."
"Nobody loves me like you do, mother. No-one could possibly tend to me and take care of me the way that you do." "That is because you are not wiling to give anyone a chance. I really have no idea why you were born with such a closed heart, but it pains me my son, to think that you won't allow yourself to have a taste of love." "Not everyone is like yourself and father, look at your own brother's marriage. And it isn't just love between yourself and father. It is an obsession as well and you know it. We all do." "Your father has had a much difficult life than he has ever had to experience and does not know how to express his emotions, just like yourself." "Father does express himself, and it isn't always in the most romantic way." "Hyuk, that is between your father and myself. You are my firstborn son and my most precious, but you cannot dictate your parent's marriage." "Forgive me, mother." "So what is this really about? I know that we haven't gone over old memories for nothing, right?" "You are as perspective as ever mother, even in your own age. And always just as beautiful." "You are the least emotional person I know, but you have inherited your father's charms, when you want to use it that is. Why would you flatter me if you didn't want anything from me?" "Mother…" "I know what it is that you are after my love, and I promise you that I will discuss it with your father as soon as this birthday party for your brother is over. I will discuss it with your uncle Moon-Bok and aunt Hwa-Wol as well." "When exactly?" "Hyuk, do not push the issue today. You know that Hwan will never forgive you if you steal the attention on his birthday." "But I have waited for so long already mother, and…" "I know the issues in your heart well my child, and I promise you that I will make this a priority after today. Now go and look after your brother until your father find's him and all hell breaks loose whilst I tend to the twins." "I love you so much mother." "I love you too, my son."
I started crying quietly as soon as my son left my embrace with high spirits for he first time in years. I could still smell his scent in my hands that were just as strong as it was when he was born. He was so busy at work in the palace so I hardly got to see him anymore like I used to. My daughters only needed my basic care growing up,oteriwse they were all daddy's girls and followed my husband relentlessly. My son's on the other hand would barely allow me to get any work done unless they were in my arms all day long. Or on my back. Or crawling onto me as soon as I found a moment to sit down and rest. Hyuk always smelled like apples since it was the only fruit that he liked, Hwan always loved melons and smelled of them even after I bathed him extensively and Jung…Dae-Jung…
What was this? What was going on? Why couldn't I remember anything about Dae-Jung and how I raised him with my own hands? I couldn't remember his favourite foods, drink, colours or what his favourite subject at school was? And my twin daughters…who were they? How old were they now? And where were they? Were they with loved ones? Or were they with complete strangers? Where they safe? Have they eaten? I couldn't even remember if I had fed them or not. And Ari…where exactly was she?
I ran to the children's bedrooms in a panic to look for them, but I couldn't find them at all. Did I let them go off somewhere? But with who? And why were all of their clothes gone? And all of their other things that I had packed from our home in the city? Even all of their scrolls and toys were nowhere to be found…
"Wife? Yeon! What is going on? Why are you panicking like this?" "Husband! The children are missing! The twins! Quickly, you have to find them for me! And their things, they are all gone! Have they run away or something? Hurry!" "Wife, the twins with Geom. do you not remember giving him their things because they want to stay with him today? You know they adore him the most because he spoils them far too much." "I…really? Did I personally send them off? Did I feed them? And bathe them? And clothe them myself?" "They are old enough to do all of that themselves now and you know it?" "Really? But for Hyuk and Hwan, didn't I bathe them myself until they were at least 10 years old? Or maybe 12?" "You stopped doing all of that when all of our children turned 8 years old, starting with Hyuk."
"Husband…when did we arrive in my father's village? Where is my brother? Is he alright? And what about my nephews? And all of our children? Why can't I remember anything at all? I…" "Sshh wife, it is alright. We arrived here last week to celebrate our second son's birthday, you know how all of the children love it here." "But why can't I remember anything at all? Did I hit my head again? Did something happen to me and you are keeping it from me?" "Wife, we are just both getting old, that is all." "I was so scared when I couldn't find any of the children here at all, I thought that something had happened to them…" "Wife, all of our children have grown up apart from the twins. And even if we were not around or they got lost, everyone knows who they are and will always bring them home." "Let me see with own eyes that they are alright…" "They both just fell asleep after playing in the river with Hana" "Hana? Is she here? Where is she? I want to see her?" "Wife, you will see everyone at the birthday banquet tonight for our son. Do not go out and trouble anyone, everyone is already busy with this party that you are throwing." "Then what on earth ami doing here just doing nothing? I have to help them all…" 'Wife, just take a rest for now. You have already done a lot and you cannot even remember anything at all." "Will you stay with me? Are you busy?" "You've never asked me to stay with you before in all of our years." "How could I ask that of you? You were always busy with work, the children and my brother. You even travelled a lot for business. But now we are an old couple and you are finally retired, so I can have you all to myself." "Is that so? And how long do you want me to accompany you for?" "For forever." "You said it, not me." "What does that mean?" "Do not worry my love, and let us just rest together." "Look at me, husband." "Yes?" "Tell me that you love me, even with my ageing memory." "You know that I love you; I always have and I always will…"