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I thought that I would get more nervous as the date approached, but I'm not. I'm actually becoming more calm.
There's a sort of serenity in knowing that one's trials will soon end, allowing for a continuation of the life you wanted to live before it got interrupted.
A pregnant body isn't very fun, I have to admit, but it's also beautiful in a way. Thankfully, I have Petunia to help with the day-to-day as I get too large to do much.
Laying in bed, looking out of the window at the clear blue sky.
Ahhh.
This feeling. I've been missing it for so long, I almost didn't recognise it.
For the first time in almost a year, I feel…
Happy.
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"Last page, son of a bitch," Harry muttered to himself, riffling to the end of the diary only to find blank pages and nothing more. A hot summer was incoming, he was already sweating, drops of salty liquid landing on the nondescript diary in his hands.
He hadn't been particularly empathetic when he'd been a teenager, but that had been so long ago he'd nearly forgotten everything about it.
Now, he had the capacity to understand the pain of other people, to want to do things to help them avoid it.
But in this case, he couldn't.
The tragedy had long since occurred.
He tucked away the diary and crossed his arms that had previously been occupied with holding it up in front of his chest.
Deaths from the other side of the world were a statistic, deaths in the country were a tragedy and deaths in the family were just… pain.
The pain was so overbearing that one didn't even have the mental capacity to find a word to describe it.
Grief is having something crucial in one's life and then losing it.
He closed his eyes, breathed in deeply and sighed. Then he opened them again to look at the corridor he was waiting in. He was an adult; he could pull himself together.
The year had come to an end, and he'd finished his exams. Arithmancy had been tough, but he was sure he could get at least an Outstanding. He'd decided to go out with a bang, not planning on retaking that subject for his N.E.W.T. year. If nothing else, Quirrell being gone had freed up some extra study time. Potions had been as difficult as always, while subjects like Runes, Astronomy, Herbology and History of Magic were something he only cared about peripherally. Care of Magical Creatures had been fun, DADA pedantic and associated with primarily bad memories. Transfiguration had been easy, Charms almost easier.
It was especially because of his performance in Transfiguration, however, that he was to have the following meeting now. In addition to the curriculum, which seemed easier than ever, he'd also demonstrated the entirety of his wasp transfiguration, filling to the brim the classroom in which they'd had the exam. McGonaggal's glasses had nearly fallen off, and she'd asked to see him post-haste afterwards.
Considering Transfiguration had been his last practical, that afterwards was now.
As if on cue, he heard the clacking of heels on the stone floor approaching from the left, causing him to look up and see a frazzled McGonagall rushing towards him.
"Mr. Evans," she said, flicking out her wand to open the door of her office and bidding him inside.
He'd been inside the utilitarian space often enough, so he simply sat down after entering and got straight to the point.
"What seems to be the rush, professor?" he asked almost jokingly, at which the older woman simply huffed, adjusting her glasses.
"The rush is that you went from being able to only summon a very small swarm of wasps to summoning enough of them to fill an entire classroom!" she exclaimed excitedly.
Harry nodded. He'd actually made a deal with McGonaggal a few months ago. If he increased his wasp swarm size enough, she'd provide him access to material pertaining to becoming an animagus.
"I thought I'd show you my progress during the exam," Harry said. "I assume I succeeded in our little bet?"
The professor, very uncharacteristically, slammed a hand on the table in front of her, creating a loud bang and scattering a pile of parchments on the floor. "You more than won!" she said loudly, before frowning. "Mr. Evans, I have to ask at this point, do you even know what the Hogwarts Curriculum for Transfiguration is?" she asked.
Harry blinked. "Erm, first year is object to object transfiguration, the basics, the theories. The second year introduces a few minor changes from animate to inanimate and vice versa. The third year simply increases the complexity."
McGonaggal stared at him with her grey eyes, her green pointy hat drooping dangerously on her head.
"In the fourth year, we introduce the vanishing spell and have students vanish objects of minor complexity. I know from Professor Potter that you already have the ability to vanish animate conjurations and transfigurations. In the fifth year, we start with inanimate conjurations, simple things such as pebbles, needles and such. The sixth year is when we cover animate conjuration, and we touch on human transfiguration. The seventh year is spent strengthening the foundations, perfecting conjuration and human transfiguration. That is the entirety of the curriculum," she explained rapidly, her Scottish accent becoming somewhat prominent.
"That sounds… nice?" Harry asked.
At this, the professor simply palmed her face. "Let me, for the sake of demonstration, have you complete a simple test," she said. Fumbling around out of sight, she pulled out a pincushion from one of the drawers of her desk.
"Turn it into a hedgehog," she demanded.
Harry, for his part, simply shrugged and tapped the red pincushion. The spell for inanimate to animate transfiguration was the same for the entire class, just the complexity of what was attempted generally increased.
The pincushion quickie morphed into a brown European hedgehog. One of those little guys of which he'd seen a lot when he'd been a kid, before they'd gone mostly extinct…
He frowned. That was a sad memory. Too many of them got splattered by cars if he remembered correctly…
"Turn it into an eagle," the professor demanded brusquely, ignoring his sadness at the incoming decimation of the cute and humble hedgehog.
Harry tapped the hedgehog on its cute little nose and transformed it into an eagle. He wasn't an expert on eagles, so he took whatever came to mind, eventually making the stereotypical American eagle. The bird cawed and flapped its wings.
"Vanish it," the professor ordered.
Harry waved his wand, and the eagle disappeared.
"Stand up!"
Harry stood up, at which the professor waved her wand and vanished the chair he'd been sitting on.
"Conjure a replacement," she demanded.
Harry conjured a little wooden stool. He was by no means an expert in inanimate conjuration, but a chair was something that he summoned quite often, considering that what the world lacked most was opportunities to sit.
"Now conjure a mammal of your choice," McGonaggal asked.
Harry blinked. He'd only ever really practised making wasps, to be honest, but he knew the spell. The issue was that he didn't really know, on an anatomical level, any mammal that he could just whip out his wand and create from nothing.
The thing that he was very familiar with was…
The incantation slipped from his mouth. A raccoon appeared on McGonaggal's desk, confusedly looking around before eventually being vanished by the professor once it started chewing on some parchments.
Harry furrowed his brows. "How did I do that?" he asked. "I never studied raccoon anatomy."
The professor sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Perhaps, but you're intimately familiar with the spell for conjuring organic matter. We don't study in detail all the animals we aim to conjure; familiarity with the spells allows us to simply imagine the creature and then create it. Magic fills in the details, studying anatomy is for reducing the cost of creation on combat techniques which carry higher requirements in terms of speed, quality and quantity."
"That's neat," Harry eventually said.
"I have to ask now," the professor said slowly, "but have you ever touched upon the subject of human transfiguration? This is not a trick question; there is no punishment if you did."
At this, Harry could only honestly shake his head. "I've never touched the subject. It seemed dangerous. I looked up the spell for forcefully returning an animagus to their human form, but that's it."
"Good, good, you have some mind for safety at least," the professor muttered. "There's an issue, however."
"Is there?" Harry asked, confused.
"Yes, in essence, you can go sit your O.W.L. for Transfiguration right now. Today, in fact. You'd pass, easily."
Harry shook his head. He wasn't really interested in skipping ahead. Creating a strong foundation by doing things slowly was what he wanted to do at Hogwarts. Also, he didn't really have time to…
"I don't know if I really have time, I doubt that I could really pass right now. Maybe I can slapdash together the spells, but I'd fail the theoreticals," he explained to the professor.
McGonagall sighed. "Mr. Evans, I think you have a fundamental misconception about the Hogwarts curriculum for transfiguration. I understand your reasoning for not seeking further advancement in Charms, after all, you learn a new spell each lesson, which is its own sort of enclosed theory. Learning the spells outside the classroom simply means you have to find the incantations, the history, and the fundamentals yourself. In the classroom, all this work is done by Professor Flitwick, leaving you with nothing to do but practice. It's actually a somewhat more cost-effective method."
"Isn't transfiguration the same?" Harry asked. "We're learning one major discipline per year, subdividing it into many smaller parts. Then we practice one different application every few weeks."
A shake of the head. "There won't be much theory work in years four and five, we'll simply be revisiting and strengthening the basics of theory while expanding the practice. The reason is that transfiguration is a relatively difficult subject, and casting the spell generally requires more time to learn than the theory behind it. Additionally, each transfiguration spell has so many applications that it needs to be cast dozens of times on different variables to fully master it. The only new theory knowledge you'd learn in the next two years would be the theory behind vanishing and the finer points of everything we covered in the first to third year."
"I'm sure Hogwarts teaches it that way for a reason," Harry objected.
"Of course it does, we teach this way because this is the amount of time most needed to master the basics. The O.W.L.s certify someone as capable of the basic transfigurations one might need in daily life. It is in the sixth year that we start truly delving into the topic. Human transfiguration falls into the N.E.W.T.s category. So does, coincidentally, combat transfiguration, something you have already made great strides in."
Harry crossed his arms petulantly. He didn't want to advance in Transfiguration; it wasn't his focus. Also, he had to admit. He was less interested in advancing when someone told him to do it.
There had been a swirl of rumours around him when he'd entered Arithmancy early and advanced a year in Charms. Back then, he'd simply done it to get one O.W.L out of the way early and because he could.
Now that he'd fallen into a rhythm at Hogwarts, he was less willing to disrupt it. Advancing in Transfiguration would mean that he'd actually be challenged in that class. Which meant he'd have to actively listen, learn, participate, and prepare for every lesson.
Next year was supposed to be the year in which he pushed for winning the U17 duelling championship.
"I'll be very busy with training for the duelling tournament next year. If the argument is that I should skip ahead to get properly challenged, then sorry, but I won't have the time to take a challenging class."
McGonaggal threw her hands in the air. "You are by far one of the most troublesome students I've ever had," she complained out loud. "For completely wrong reasons as well!"
Harry paused. McGonagall had taught the marauders and the Weasley Twins.
"You mean that?" he asked, receiving a sharp glare in return.
"Yes!" she exclaimed.
Harry blushed and looked down at his lap. "Thanks, that means a lot to me," he muttered quietly.
Well, it seemed like she really wanted him to advance. Maybe in that case, he should simply… see if he could get anything for doing it.
"It wasn't a compliment," the professor said angrily before pausing. "Quite frankly, you're certainly a help in the classroom. You've driven the performance of several Hufflepuffs up, and the Ravenclaws are achieving new heights trying to compete. But you're most certainly wasting your potential. Have you ever thought what might happen if you were to finish a N.E.W.T while still being a sixth year, which you could very well do in Transfiguration? You wouldn't just be done with the class, but something accordingly challenging could be arranged for you to replace it."
"You said I'd get material for the animagus transfiguration if I managed to make a large swarm of wasps," Harry said quietly.
"I did, I will loan you a few books over the summer," a break. "No matter your decision."
"Well, that seems fair." Harry refused to say anything further.
McGonaggal glared at him.
Harry innocently whistled.
She narrowed her eyes. "Why are you interested in the animagus transformation?" she eventually asked.
"Well, the wizarding world isn't all that safe. Just thinking about my poor mother… An unregistered animagus transformation would be a great escape tool in most scenarios." Additionally, dementors ignored animals.
"You wouldn't be able to touch animagus transformation without sufficient experience in human transfiguration. You'd basically have to skip ahead to fulfil your less-than-legal ambitions," McGonagall argued.
Harry wasn't really in a rush. "I guess I'll wait then."
The professor, at that moment, literally growled. "Alright, Mr. Evans. If I remember correctly, you applied for a time-turner. It could not be given at the time. But under a joint suggestion from me and Professor Vector, things that previously weren't might become possible. That would of course only apply if we were both trying to help a N.E.W.T student suddenly overburdened at a tenderly young age," she said sarcastically.
"But I wasn't planning on continuing arithmancy," Harry muttered.
"I know, the fact saddened Professor Vector considerably. It is because of this, namely that you are wasting your talent in two, rather than just one subject, that the two of us could perhaps join hands to force the ministry's."
"I can really get it if I advance in transfiguration and continue arithmancy?" Harry asked suspiciously.
"If you pass your O.W.L.s," McGonagall said.
Harry nodded seriously, thought about it for a few seconds before jumping up from his little stool and saluting, hand to forehead. "My agreement was never in question. Anything for the Hogwarts staff, glory to the Institution and Great Britain!" he shouted loudly.
The professor sitting opposite him folded her hands together and rested her chin on them. She glared at him.
"You should have been a Slytherin," she said simply, a verbal blow that landed deeply in Harry's soul.
"Perhaps, ma'am," he replied simply.
"Miscreant. Get out of my office," she concluded.
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AN: Years finally ending, what do you think? I've done three years at Hogwarts now. Most fics stall out before they finish one lol. Support me on Patreon (and read ahead like 35 chapters)