Asuka
I have only ever seen someone so strong, so weak once before.
I still get chills whenever I think about that day. Martha's horrified look screaming my name resurfaces in my mind every now and again. It doesn't bother me nearly as much as it did when I was younger, but my mood still sours anytime I think about it.
Not only because of the state my sister was in, but also because I knew there was nothing I could do about it. I did the best I could to comfort her, but I didn't truly know how to help.
But even if I forget that face, I will never forget the emotions that rolled off her. Like smoke from a forest fire, they overwhelmed me and made me afraid.
Now, I find myself in the same situation. But instead of someone I cherished wholeheartedly, it a girl I would love nothing more than give an ass whooping to.
I would have laughed if the situation wasn't so serious. Before, I would have never thought her capable of such emotions. But ever since arriving in Cael, I've gotten to see more of her. And the more of her I see, the more like me I realized she is. And now, despite my disdain towards her at times, I see my sister and can't help but try to reach her.
Remembering that day, old feelings rose again and my emotions became hard to control. Tears rolled down my eyes, as I once again see my sister broken and in terror.
Anastasia looked up at me like she was going to say something, but stopped before any word left her mouth. Slowly, I got down to her level and held her in an embrace. Instantly, I felt those emotions rampaging in her like they did my sister. Guilt, anger, shame, helplessness and so many more.
"This is what they must have sensed in me after Aboa."
But now looking back, these emotions have burdened many others as well. I've sensed them in Ichigo, Granny and most recently, Kopika and Bishop Sebastian.
In that moment, another memory came to me. One I had forgotten the more I learned about the world. There was another feeling beginning to ignite in my heart as I held my sister in my hands. Unwavering conviction. A conviction that I lost grasp of as I wallowed in my own self pity.
That I would make sure no one ever had to go through what my sister did.
The naivety of the goal was not lost on me. I know now that a world like that would never come. So long as there are those who put themselves over others, atrocities will always occur. But the very least I can do is wipe away every tear and bring light to wherever there is darkness.
That is what I must become. Not a hero. A light. But it can never come at the cost of my humanity.
After a few moments, Anastasia started to lightly try and push me off. I obliged but still gently held her hands.
"What happened Anastasia?"
That question seemed to spook her cause she violently shook when I did. I decided it was best to change the subject.
"I tried to make some sandwiches earlier. Thought you might have been hunger since you were gone for so long."
She then looked at me with a knitted brow.
"Tried?"
~
Naturally the kitchen was a mess. Anastasia seemed to have moved on from whatever she was feeling earlier for now at least.
"Mission accomplished," I thought to myself proudly.
"Yup. Only costed you your pride as an aspiring chef," said an annoying voice.
"Oh really? And whose fault is that hmm Annie? Wasn't it you who said to get bold and creative?"
It took me too long to realize I had not used my inside voice. Now it was Anastasia's turn to look at me confused. I just sighed and shook my head as Annie's laugh echoed in my head.
"Anyway, I've been practicing and I think I've got the hang of these things."
Stepping through the mess, I reached the counter and pulled to sandwiches.
"Nothing special. Just some turkey, cheese, lettuce, tomato and this thing called umm… ma… yo…. nice."
"Mayonnaise," the princess corrected.
"Exactly what I meant."
Proudly, I offered one of them to her. She didn't take her concerned gaze off me as she took it.
"I even gave you the one with extra turkey."
That did not seem to increase her enthusiasm. She looked at the sandwich, and took a deep breath.
"By the Aeon's help me."
The first bite made a loud crunch from the lettuce.
"Why is the tomato so hard?" she questioned with a mouth full.
Despite that minor setback though she, managed to finish the sandwich.
"So how was it?"
I couldn't keep the excitement off my face. This was the first time someone fully finished something I cooked. But the princess did was shrug and quick remark.
"Not bad actually."