(For some time I return to the masquerade dance,
eat food, talk, and enjoy myself.
Then, the time stops and people are frozen in place,
their masks are suddenly gone
They have no face.
Time falters.
Glasses freeze mid-air.
Every guest stands still — faceless.
I step outside.)
________________________________________________________________________________________
It's very quiet now,
Silent and proud,
I have freed myself
The Black Dahlia digs her own hell.
.
I feel a mourning that holds no cause,
And wondered why I carry emptiness,
Until now.
.
I barely hear the faintest sound,
I'd feel the dead more when she was around.
.
I was more connected then,
they were my friends,
The afterlife, my home and my refuge,
No offer could make me refuse
Ridding my life from energetic pulls,
I hope I can find the gulls.
.
Now that The Black Dahlia left
I cannot stop scanning these flower pots for the sickled ends,
Wondering what has happened to my stems.
They offered the biggest support
when Mother destroyed forts.
.
The ghosts stayed during my most haunted times,
Wow, I felt very much alive!
Now, I am the ghost,
Emptiness ensued
Nothing more than a tainted fluke.
.
I remember when I would pursue the rose
I miss that version of myself the most:
The one that had chased the ghouls, goblins, and the ghosts,
And where I feared demons the most.
.
This isn't a lie nor a plea,
I sense that the demons fear me,
Dahlia's womb-gene.
.
I wonder when I will be granted my abilities, and when,
I am the most alive when ghosts visit my witchy den.
I will never dull myself for weeds
That belonged to the Gardner's chemical breed.
.
Then, The Rainbow Friend taps my hand,
The Borderline Seed will never come again.
.
Dahlia and her nightly demons cannot entrap me,
There is no ownership; they are lonely.
I am the one that owns their world,
They live a nightmare that I control.
.
The womb-gene scares the gardner away
because he cannot inject poison through my veins
nor can he lace my insides
with nightmares that would entrap my enlightened side.
.
Womb-gene, womb-gene
I reject her BPD,
Mother cannot own me
in life and death,
I am not her conquest.