Inside one of New York's many bars that afternoon, a peculiar bartender, wearing a fake mustache and a friendly smile, observed the young man sitting before him.
"Rough day, sir?"
The young man, wearing a rolled-up black shirt, sat at the bar with a thoughtful expression and a tired face.
"You tell me, old man... my life is difficult."
The "man" chuckled softly before opening a bottle of whiskey and pouring him a drink.
"You can tell me about it. Being a bartender means having good taste in drinks, music, and a good ear for people."
Hearing those words, Allen smiled and relaxed.
"Thanks, master. You know, same old stuff—entering a world, blending in with the locals, meeting new people, discovering new places, and then fighting the devil. The usual."
"The Devil?" The bartender froze for a moment.
Allen shrugged.
"Yeah, defeating the devil. Although sometimes it's God, some alien creature, some malevolent entity, villain, monster, Lovecraftian being—I don't know. The creativity they use to screw up my life is pretty varied."
"That sounds terrible," the bartender said while his large ears twitched. "But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that for every bitter drink, there's always a carrot waiting."
Allen looked at the "non-human" bartender.
He recognized him.
Honestly, it was far more shocking than seeing Obi-Wan and Anakin walking down the street, but he didn't comment, trying to escape reality.
"Well, not everything is bad. Along the journey, you always meet cute girls and beautiful women. Besides, if there's anything better than getting rich, it's being rich in multiple worlds, right?" Allen grinned shamelessly.
"Haha, I suppose so," he laughed awkwardly.
Allen noticed the bartender's furry hand cleaning a glass but chose to ignore it.
"But what I'd really like is to be at least free from problems during my vacation."
"I see." The bartender nodded. "Is there something preventing you from relaxing?"
Allen leaned against the counter while playing with his glass of whiskey without drinking a single drop.
"Yeah, well, the first week was fine. I had quality time with my loved ones, although I have a woman at home who's pregnant, but she won't tell me who she is."
"Excuse me?"
"You know, it's a complicated subject. If I wanted to, I could find out which one of my women got pregnant, but I don't. I'm waiting for 'her' to reveal it to me."
"That... I don't know what to say."
Allen shook his head.
"Don't worry about it. Leaving that topic aside, Heavenly Profound Treasures suddenly started appearing around me."
"Is that bad?"
"No, of course not. Naturally, each one could destroy the world. Plus, cultivators might show up wanting to reclaim them or something... but that's the usual, right? If it's not a god, it's some gamma monster, interdimensional vampire, or mad scientist. There's always some asshole trying to destroy the world while I'm on vacation. Sons of bitches!"
"..."
"But don't worry," Allen relaxed. "Honestly, no one forces me. In the end, I'm the one sticking my head where I wasn't called."
"I'm glad to hear that. I just moved to the city, and opening a business is complicated."
Allen mocked him.
"Are you telling me you chose to come to the city with the highest rate of apocalyptic incidents, invasions, and villains—not in the country, but in the world?"
The bartender's large ears drooped as he nervously swallowed.
"Now that you mention it... Maybe it wasn't the best idea."
"Yeah, well, it's too late for regrets now. Just get really good insurance with broad coverage. You never know when some sea monster will walk through the door and break a chair."
Allen snapped his fingers, leaving the money and tip on the counter before standing up.
"See you around, master. I like this bar. Maybe I'll come by often."
"Thank you," the bartender said as he looked at the untouched whiskey. "What a strange customer. Comes in, orders whiskey, doesn't drink it, orders another, talks about his life, and leaves. Well, at least he tips well."
...
As Allen left the bar, he stopped and looked at the sky.
There was an enormous Republic space cruiser hovering there.
That's right.
Somehow, the world had merged with Star Wars, and no one seemed to find it strange.
"What do you think?"
Anemone – Too refined for me. If there aren't at least a couple of bikers knocking each other's teeth out, a drunk guy vomiting at the entrance, and the smell of tampered tobacco, then it's not a good bar.
Albedo – Only vulgar people would enjoy that. Allen-sama deserves the finest treatment possible and the best places, not some rundown bar. You clearly don't understand Allen-sama.
Anemone – Tsk, what are you talking about?! Allen doesn't like pompous places!
Makima – It seemed like a pleasant place, but I wouldn't drink something served by an anthropomorphic rabbit.
Nokotan – Hey, that's discrimination! Justice for rabbits and crows!
Makima – I'm not saying it because he's a rabbit, but because I wouldn't want fur in my drink...
Wednesday – Well, he should indeed wear gloves.
Bocchi – Do they sell gloves for rabbits that big?
"I'm not talking about the bar... I'm talking about the owner being the fucking Bugs Bunny!"
People turned to stare at Allen.
He calmed himself by regulating his breathing.
He was trying to spend his "vacation" peacefully—go to school with Gwen, Felicia, and MJ, maybe stop by the X-Mansion to teach his students a few things, travel through Paris with Emma, go to the beach with Megan, let the Dolls enjoy themselves too, visit DC and catch up on Arkham, go to the moon with Kara, finally beat Trigon's ass once and for all, visit Themyscira, Olympus, Atlantis...
He also planned to spend time in previous worlds like The Boys and see how Annie was doing with her agency, visit Invincible and check how Samantha and Robot were handling things in Universe 2, see how his girls were doing in Universe 1, return to Fairy Tail and beat up Natsu, spar with Laxus, or spend time with his fiancées.
Then there was Bleach, where he still had to fix several things, including the fact that the world had gone completely off the rails due to so many changes.
And beyond all that, there was still HSTD, Harry Potter, and Ragnarok...
Allen was an incredibly busy person.
But apparently, things weren't going to be simple.
He decided to walk away from the area since the crowd was already giving him strange looks.
Along the way, Allen stopped in front of an electronics store.
A peculiar event was being broadcast on television.
— After the UN signed a peace treaty, Earth officially joined the Republic —
"Shit..."
Allen shook his head.
Apparently, Fury had contacted him some time ago for his opinion on this issue, and it seemed Allen hadn't opposed the idea. However, in his own memories, that had never happened. He kept walking, and after evaluating his situation, he concluded:
The world itself was being altered.
This wasn't originally a parallel world like he had first thought.
It was his world.
However, every so often, for some reason, modifications to history occurred. For everyone except him and his girlfriends, these changes seemed completely normal, as if things had always been that way.
Allen concluded that because of the pendants all the girls close to him possessed, they were unaffected by the world's alterations.
These included:
Gwen, MJ (Mary Jane), Felicia, Natasha, Cate, Emma Frost, Maria H., Emma W., Megan, Tearju (Mystique), Jean, Kitty, and Rogue.
What was most concerning was that the world adapted itself to the new narrative without his consent. So hearing his friends and acquaintances talk about things they should not have known was deeply unsettling.
Allen made sure all the girls were safe and even improved the pendants.
[Maybe... You should give Sue a pendant too, just in case.]
"I'll think about it..."
For the most part, the changes were harmless.
Aside from remembering things that shouldn't have been that way, there were no major alterations.
Allen's friends were still his friends, their personalities, relationships, and shared history with him remained intact, so there was no danger of Thor suddenly becoming a villain or anything like that.
....
After walking a bit longer, Allen stopped in front of a newspaper stand.
— The Apocalypse: Once again, everything was resolved thanks to the intervention of Allen Walker, our savior.
"Is it just my imagination, or do I hear sarcasm in that headline?"
Jalter – As always, you're as popular as you are hated, haha.
Allen snapped his fingers, and Jalter suddenly appeared in the middle of his pool at home, wearing a school swimsuit.
— Peace Between Worlds: For years, humanity's membership in the Republic was uncertain, but with decreasing tensions, an agreement was finally reached.
"If the Republic exists, does the Empire too? They'd better know what they're doing—I do not want to see a damn Death Star parked next to the moon by next week."
Rebecca – I would love to see that thing! Don't you think that's amazing?! Hahaha
"Yeah, well, it's cool but I have to complain. You have enough money to build a world-destroying technological moon, but you leave a giant hole leading straight to the core? That's garbage design. Somebody should've been fired!"
Allen shook his head in disgust and looked at the final headline on the front page.
— Preparations for the seventieth anniversary celebration of the King Kong of Liberty are progressing smoothly: Mayor Lucas believes everything will go according to plan and that it will be the greatest celebration ever held.
Allen, now truly fed up, raised his voice.
"Does no one find it strange that the mayor is a talking duck?!"
People turned to stare at Allen.
Not wanting more attention, he used a spell to push non-magical people away from the area.
"Hey! If you read it, you buy it!" growled the newsstand owner.
Allen sighed.
He no longer wanted to argue with anyone, so he pulled two dollars from his inventory.
"That's four dollars..." the man said.
"Four dollars?! What is this, the NY Times? Scam artists! I'm already missing Japan."
"If you have time to complain, why don't you get a job?"
A vein bulged on Allen's forehead.
He didn't want to argue, but this city brought out the worst in him.
2B – Master must breathe.
Artoria – Calm yourself. There's no need to pay him any mind.
The girls tried to stop Allen, but it was too late.
He grabbed the man by the collar and shook him violently.
"Listen to me, you decrepit old man! Do you think just because you're older than Nostradamus I won't beat the crap out of you?! For your information, I can age whenever I want, so take out your dentures because I'm about to beat you senseless!"
The man's head fell off.
This left Allen and the Dolls in complete shock.
Jalter – What are you doing?! You killed him?!
Arguing was one thing, but ripping someone's head off was too much even for Allen.
However, Allen soon noticed something strange. There was no blood coming from the man's neck. Upon closer inspection, he realized it was a dummy.
"How did I not notice that before?"
"How dare you damage my disguise?! You inconsiderate human!"
Allen looked down.
A Pug wearing a shirt just spoke to him.
The pug immediately grew nervous after realizing what it had said.
"I mean, woof!"
"Too late," Allen said coldly as he grabbed the pug by the neck and lifted him.
"Hey, let me go! This is animal cruelty!"
Allen's expression became increasingly indifferent.
"Shut up, Frank. You're not even a real dog."
The pug froze upon hearing his name.
Then he looked Allen up and down before breaking into a cold sweat.
"Are you from the MIB?"
Allen laughed while covering his face with one hand, then cursed.
"Shit!"
Frank the Pug.
Of course, Allen recognized a character from one of his favorite movie franchises—Men in Black.
Frank was a Remoolian, originally from the planet Remoolia, a full-fledged alien. At some point, he had come to Earth and settled in New York as an informant for the MIB.
That was all fine, but Allen felt like exploding knowing Men in Black now also existed in his world.
Allen dropped Frank and turned around, wanting to leave.
"Wait, wait!" Frank bit onto Allen's clothes to stop him.
"What do you want?"
"Are you from the MIB? No, no, you don't seem to be... would you mind not telling them I revealed my identity? They're very strict about that! If they find out, they'll deport me!"
Allen blinked.
"Don't worry. I gain nothing from ratting out a miserable dog who sells overpriced newspapers."
"Ugh... fine, let's make a deal. I'll give you free newspapers for a year!"
"Deal," Allen accepted without hesitation.
Frank froze.
He had only been trying to be polite and didn't expect Allen to actually accept, since he seemed indifferent.
But Frank didn't know Allen had absolutely no shame.
"What's wrong, pug? Are you going to back out of the offer?"
"No, but how about instead of free, I give you a ten percent discount?"
"Are all Remoolians this cheap?" Allen snorted.
"Listen, brother, I have a wife and ten kids to support! I can't lose money!"
"You damn liar, what wife could you possibly have?!"
Frank froze once more.
"I-I knew it! You're an agent!"
"Yeah, I'm Agent D. Now leave me alone!"
Allen left Frank the Pug behind, who appeared to have fainted.
If Frank had been a real dog, Allen would've helped him, but since he was a shameless alien, he felt no pity.
Half an hour later, Allen arrived at his apartment.
He sat down on the couch, and soon the door opened as four exhausted women entered.
They were Gwen, Felicia, MJ, and Natasha.
"Welcome back," Allen said.
"We're back, but my feet hurt," MJ said before hugging him from behind.
"Hi, Allen, make room for me~" Felicia said as she jumped onto the couch, her high-heeled boots flying off as she rested her head on Allen's lap.
"Hello, darling," Natasha said before heading to the kitchen and grabbing a beer from the fridge.
"I'll take a shower first, then I'll tell you everything," Gwen said, giving him a flirtatious smile before entering the bathroom.
"Don't even think about it," MJ said as she tightened her arms around Allen's neck. "I need comforting~"
"Rough day?" Allen asked curiously with a half-smile.
"Don't even mention it," MJ said, clutching his arm. "It seemed like a normal day until some guy in a flying car crashed in the middle of the avenue! I was stuck for two hours!"
"That's nothing," Felicia grumbled. "I got caught three times today! Three times! It wasn't my fault that the police now hire ghosts! Can you believe that? How am I supposed to steal when there are guys who can walk through walls everywhere?!"
"You're not supposed to steal..." Allen laughed.
"That's nothing," Natasha said as she tossed her office jacket and shirt into the laundry basket, leaving herself in only her bra before sitting on the couch. "A week ago, I just had to classify villains, write reports, and reject people trying to get to you through me. But now I have to take calls from dozens of alien ambassadors who want to meet you, and trust me, there are a lot of them. Some speak languages even the system can't translate."
"Seriously?"
[Give me time. Tens of thousands of intelligent species appeared in the universe yesterday. Updating automatic translation isn't exactly easy.]
Natasha could only sigh.
"On top of that, there are about thirty alien kings, emperors, and chancellors who want arranged marriages with you."
Allen shuddered.
"Sorry, I'm not Oliver or Nolan. Lobster women and ant women aren't really my thing."
The girls laughed.
Allen also told them what he had seen, and they were left in shock upon learning that not only Star Wars but Men in Black now existed too.
"That's not even counting that Bugs Bunny opened a bar on Fifth Avenue."
Gwen opened the bathroom door and stepped out, her robe semi-transparent due to the moisture as she dried her hair with an incredulous look.
"Are you telling me cartoons now exist in this world too?"
Allen fell silent.
His world had never been normal, but cartoon characters were simply too absurd.
"Well, I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, you can keep living your normal lives—just don't take off your pendants and rings. They're the only things preventing all this from affecting you."
The girls nodded.
Allen grinned mischievously and lifted Felicia and MJ, carrying them toward his bedroom.
Felicia mocked him.
"Wow, looks like Mr. Walker needs to relieve some stress❤️~"
MJ smiled with red cheeks.
"Kya~ Help~"
Gwen blushed, coughed awkwardly, then followed the three of them.
As for Natasha, she smiled softly.
Maybe she'd join later, but for now, she stayed in the living room and decided to watch television.
"Hm? I could've sworn the remote was on the table..."
As a longtime SHIELD agent, Natasha was trained to notice anything suspicious, no matter how minor.
The remote trembled slightly.
It might've been an ancient terrifying artifact with immense power, but it wasn't stupid enough to expose itself.
Who knew what that perverted albino might do if he discovered its existence?
"I guess I'm tired," Natasha said before relaxing.
But not even two minutes passed before feminine moans came from the bedroom.
Natasha bit her nail, turned off the TV, and also headed to the bedroom.
'They're all perverts!' the Evil Infant exclaimed before transforming into her human form and grabbing a bag of chips from the pantry.
It wasn't that she needed food, but she was curious to taste what she had seen other girls eating.
"Oh, it's delicious!"
The terrifying ancient artifact seemed to transform into a small child as she devoured the chips like she had discovered the secret of life.
In the bedroom, Allen—who currently had Gwen's legs over his shoulders—smiled mysteriously.
....
Meanwhile...
In some distant corner of the universe, a small crack appeared.
Soon, it grew larger, and when it reached the size of a person, an elderly man in white robes stepped out.
He exuded a divine aura, and his very presence caused space itself to ripple.
"How strange... I thought I sensed spiritual energy coming from this world. Curious... I can still detect traces of energy. Perhaps there really is something interesting here."
The man vanished.
In an instant, he had crossed countless galaxies, and his destination was clear:
The Milky Way.
"I hope this little detour is worth it."
====
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