"That's why you hate Hansel. You blame him for Erwin's death," Starry said, sad.
"I actually blame him and myself. If I had made up with Hansel… maybe, just maybe, Erwin wouldn't have died," he said as he burst into tears.
Starry hugged him and said, "It's not your fault. Erwin wouldn't want you to blame yourself."
He pulled back and said, "Neither would your parents."
"I guess you're right."
"Today's actually his death anniversary too."
"That's why you came."
"Yes. Let's eat and go visit the ones we love."
They ate quickly and went to a flower shop. Starry bought a bouquet of lilac roses while Theodore bought a bouquet of white roses.
"Why did you buy lilac roses?"
"It's my parents' favorite type of rose. That's the flower my dad used to confess to my mom on her birthday. Why did you buy white roses?"
"White was his favorite color. And roses were the scent of his favorite person — his mother."
When they got to the cemetery, it was already 4 p.m. Theodore went to Erwin's gravestone and Starry went to her parents'.
He placed the flowers on the gravestone and said, "Hi, bud. How is it up there? The view's great, right? I know you're happy there. I'm sorry it took me six years to come and visit. I really wanted to, but the guilt wouldn't allow me. A friend of mine said you wouldn't want me to carry that burden, so I promise from now on I won't. And I no longer blame Hansel. I have forgiven him, but we can't be friends anymore. Maybe not in this life. I'll make sure to come again next year. Be expecting me." He turned away to cry.
Starry put the bouquet on her parents' gravestone.
"Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. How are you doing? As you can see, I'm fine. Uncle James and Aunt Fran are taking good care of me. Gretel treats me like her own sister, so there's nothing for you to worry about. I know I made a promise to you guys before, but a friend of mine corrected my mindset. I know you guys want me to live life to the fullest and stand up for myself. From now on, I will do just that. I'm really sorry for what I said, Mom. Please forgive me. I know it's too late now, but I wanted you to know that I love you and I don't hate you. I never did. Even when I said I hated you, it was a lie. I love you too, Dad, so don't be jealous. I miss you a lot and I know wherever you are, you're happy." Tears fell from her eyes as she spoke.
She turned and saw Theodore crying also. The two of them stood in place and cried their eyes out. When they couldn't cry anymore, they sat close to each other.
For a minute, the only sound was wind in the trees and two kids learning how to breathe again.
"Let's make a pact, Star," said Theodore.
"What is it about?" asked Starry.
"Whenever we miss the ones we lost, we just call each other. And the person being called must answer and drop whatever he or she is doing. No questions asked. What do you say?" He stretched his hand for a handshake.
"Deal." She shook his hand and smiled brightly. His heart started beating fast and he looked at her intensely.
"What? Is there something on my face?" she said when she noticed him looking at her.
"No. It's perfect," he said under his breath.
"Huh?"
He cleared his throat and said, "Let's go."
"Okay."
He stood up and helped her to stand up as well. They left, but as they were going Starry realized she left her wallet on her parents' gravestone, so she went back while Theodore waited for her.
As she walked past Erwin's gravestone, she saw someone weeping close to it. She paid no attention to the person and quickly went over to her parents'.
Fortunately, she found her wallet and turned to leave until she heard the person's voice.
"I'm sorry, Erwin. My ego caused this. I was so jealous of Theodore, I didn't value our friendship and I don't deserve it. I still dream of that day when it happened. I was such a coward. I ran and left you guys behind. I know you might be thinking, why didn't I come to your funeral? I did, but the guilt wouldn't let me leave the car. I could only watch from afar. I also know you are wondering why I visit every year. It's not because of the guilt — it's because I still consider you my friend, even if you don't. I'm really sorry, Erwin. I wish I could also say that to Theodore as well…"
It was Hansel.
He was crying on his knees. He didn't look like how he normally did. He looked pitiful. Really pitiful.
Starry slowly walked away so he wouldn't notice her. She felt pity for him, and that was all. She met up with Theodore and he accompanied her to the train station.
He also bought her a train ticket.
"Get home safely, Star," he said as he gave her the ticket.
"Thanks for everything, Theodore."
"Thanks too."
The train soon arrived and people started boarding.
"Theodore, there's something important you should know."
"What is it? The train's already here. Can't it wait?"
"No. I think Hansel regrets his actions."
"How do you know?"
"Because I saw him when I went back to get my wallet. He apologized to Erwin for what he did and he said he wants to apologize to you too."
"Really?"
"Just give him some time. And he did go to Erwin's funeral. He just couldn't get out of his car."
"So he was the one in the black Camry. I saw it parked across the street the whole funeral. No one got out." He went quiet for a second. "I always wondered who it was."
"Wait, why do you care about Hansel? I thought you hate him."
"I don't hate him. I hate his character. And I wanted you to know. Plus, he has been visiting Erwin every year."
"Okay. You should go now."
"Bye," she said as she turned to leave.
"Star." He dragged her and hugged her tightly. She hugged him back and said, "See you in school."
Starry entered the train and soon it was gone.
Theodore watched until the last car disappeared. His chest still hurt, but it was a different kind of ache now. Lighter.
And for the first time in six years, when he thought of Erwin, he didn't see blood. He saw a smile.