Chapter 2: A Shocking First Day
The room was silent. Too silent.
The hum of the Admissions Office air conditioner was unfortunately doing very little to cool down the sheer suffocating tension off the desk.
Perched on a squeaky swivel chair, Dean Arthur Higgins rubbed his temples as he stared through bleary eyes at the two figures sitting across him. Higgins glanced outside his window, the Empire State University campus was buzzing with bright-eyed, energetic freshmen. The dean sighed, wishing that even a sliver of that same energy and brightness was replicated in his office right now since he believed that he was witnessing a federal crime in real-time.
The dean cleared his throat, desperately wanting to break the deafening silence. "So…" Dean Higgins began, his voice trembling slightly as he gestured to the paperwork on his desk. "Let me make sure if everything on here is entirely correct, Mr… Hyooman?"
"Uh huh, yep! That's me, alright!" Blitzo said with a smirk, leaning back and crossing his boots up onto the edge of the polished mahogany desk. He was wearing an ill-fitting beige trench coat, a pair of oversized aviator sunglasses indoors, and a loose fake mustache so thick and crooked it looked like a dying caterpillar had taken up residence on his upper lip. "And before you ask, yes. My bright, exceptionally talented and totally human daughter here is applying for your foreign exchange program!"
Beside him, Loona sat hunched over in her human form, donning her usual attire of a crop top, ripped shorts, sneakers and a scowl that could curdle milk. Her phone was glued to her hand as her thumbs flew across the screen with aggressive indifference.
"Right…" Higgins blinked, looking down at the application form with a furrowed brow. "And… which country is she exchanging from again? It says right here and I quote 'The Southern Part of Somewhere Else'?"
"Hey! It's an exclusive municipality!" Blitzo insisted, slapping the desk with an enthusiastic, meaty thud which made the dean flinch. "Very private! High tax brackets and lots of… Exotic shit. Look, the point is, my Loony-Toony here has a passion for higher education! She loves books and learning about… things… Show him your eager student smile, sweetie!"
Loona slowly lowered her phone, glinting a pair of death glare eyes at her adoptive father. She turned her attention to the dean and pulled her lips back to show teeth but it looked less like a smile and more like a canine-like snarl which startled the dean.
"See? Pure academic passion! What did I tell ya!" The disguised Imp declared proudly.
Dean Higgins took a slow, agonizing breath then adjusted his glasses. "Mr. Hyooman, even if I overlook the… rather unusual geographic origins, your daughter's transcript of records appears to be written in red crayon on a crumpled paper bag from a fast-food drive-thru."
"It's a metaphor for her raw, unfiltered potential!" Blitzo shot back, leaning forward and squinting through his aviators. "Listen to me, Artie. Can I call you Artie? Eh, fuck it, I'm gonna call you Artie. You look like the kinda guy who appreciates a diamond in the rough! You put my girl in this school and I guarantee you, she'll blend right in! She's gonna track down- I mean, study and maybe get along with all the local campus freaks! Especially the weird ones who wear spandex who think they own the city or something."
Loona briefly stopped her endless scrolling to pinch the bridge of her nose and let out a sharp, irritated hiss. "Dad. Shut up." She muttered under her breath.
"Not now, Loony! Daddy's negotiating over here!" Blitzo snapped before whipping back to the dean with a sleazy smile. "Look, what's it gonna take? I got three dollars and a half-eaten churro. If that doesn't tickle your dick, I also got a slim fit condom if you're into that shit. So what's it gonna be, hm?"
Higgins stared at the crumpled dollar bills, half a churro and the condom which he could tell had holes poked into it that were just carelessly tossed onto his pristine desk. He turned to the girl who looked to be one minor inconvenience away from ripping his throat out with her bare hands then at her strange looking father with the fake mustache who was now picking his nose with a suspiciously lethal-looking hunting knife he had just casually pulled out from his coat.
The dean did not know if these people were mobsters, insane asylum escapees or something far, far worse. What he did know was that his life expectancy was dropping by the second the longer this kept up.
Slowly, without making any sudden movements and saying a single word, Dean Higgins grabbed his official ESU approval stamp.
SLAM!
The red ink hit the top of the crumpled paper bag with a loud, desperate thud.
"Congratulations." Higgins said, his voice flat and completely broken as he slid a temporary student ID card across the desk. "Welcome to Empire State University, Miss… Hyooman. Classes begin in twenty minutes. Please leave."
"HA! I knew you had vision, Artie!" Blitzo cheered, snatching the ID from the desk and slapping the dean on the shoulder hard enough to make his teeth rattle. "Come on, Loony! Time to go make some new 'friends' and figure out which one of these college losers are swingin' around in red tights!"
Loona glared at Blitzo wordlessly before snatching the ID off his hand and rolled her eyes as she stood up and shoved her hands into her pockets. "If I get a rash or acne from being around this many human teenagers, I'm biting you." She grumbled, stomping out of the office door.
"Ah, college memories in the making! They grow up so fast, don't they!" Blitzo beamed, wiping a proud tear off his eye. The Imp turned to the shell-shocked dean to tip an invisible hat to him before trotting out after her. "Alright, let's go find that sonuvabitch!"
Inside the office, Dean Higgins sat in silence for ten whole seconds before reaching into his bottom drawer, pulling out a bottle of scotch and pouring it directly into his morning coffee.
…
…
…
Stepping out into the grand, sunlit hallway of ESU, Blitzo puffed out his chest while he dusted off his trenchcoat with an insufferable grin.
"Alright, Loony, first order of business!" Blitzo declared, cupping his hands over his eyes like a pair of binoculars and scanning the crowd of passing students. "We need to find the loudest, most annoying and most suspiciously acrobatic loser in this big crowd of losers in this shithole. I'm thinking we start in that classroom. Or we could just tail anyone with a backpack that looks like it's hiding a giant pair of red spandex underwear!"
Blitzo grabbed Loona by the elbow, ready to march down the hall with her. "Come on! Daddy's gonna be your wingman!"
Loona froze, yanking her arm out of Blitzo's grasp so fast he almost spun like a top. She glared down at him, her human disguise doing absolutely nothing to hide the lethal disgust in her eyes. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She snapped in a sharp whisper.
"I'm scoping out the scene with you!" Blitzo said, adjusting his crooked caterpillar-like mustache. "Two sets of eyes are better than one after all! Plus, if Spider-Guy shows up, I'll just throw a firecracker at his feet while you tackle him and blow his brains out!"
"Blitz. No." Loona crossed her arms, leering down to stare straight into his aviators. "You aren't coming with me."
"What?! Why not?!" Blitzo gasped, clutching his chest in theatrical betrayal. "Loona, this is a highly dangerousundercover operation! You need backup!"
"This is college." Loona bluntly deadpanned. "Parents don't follow their kids around college campus, Blitz, it's not kindergarten. If a middle-aged guy in a fake mustache and a dirty trench coat followed me into a classroom I'm not going to look like an undercover student. I'm going to look like I have a weird stalker who looks like he's not allowed to be within 500 feet of any school. You're going to blow the whole cover in five seconds for fuck's sake."
Blitzo's jaw dropped. "Excuse me, young lady, I am not a stalker! I am an attentive father! And who says parents don't go to college? What about Bring Your Dad To Class Day?!"
"That is not a thing!" Loona hissed, glancing nervously over her shoulder as a pair of ESU students walked past, giving the arguing pair a strange look. "You need to go home. Sit on the couch, watch your stupid fucking horse shows or whatever. Just wait for me to text you updates, alright?. That's the deal!"
"Wait at home?!" Blitzo whined, his shoulders slumping as if she had just physically stabbed him. "Just sitting there? In the quiet?! But what if you get lost? What if some human freak tries to ask you out on a date?! Or worse… asks you for help with a math question?! Loony, please! At least let me hide in that trash can over there!"
"Go. Home. Dad."
Blitzo let out a long, dramatic, suffering sigh that practically vibrated through the hallway. "Fine! Fine… Reject my expert tactical support. See if I care."
Grumbling under his breath, he pulled the sleeve of his trenchcoat to expose the Asmodean Crystal embedded on his gauntlet. Without a single second of hesitation or forethought, Blitzo casually rubs the crystal thoroughly right in the middle of the crowded hallway.
A shimmering portal to the literal depths of Hell instantly ripped open, filling the marble corridor with the faint smell of sulfur, distant screams, and an ominous glow.
"Guess I'll just go back to Hell and be lonely..." Blitzo pouted loudly, stepping toward the glowing void. "Do call me back when you find that Spider-Freak tho-"
"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Are you fucking crazy?!" Loona shrieked in a furious whisper.
Before a group of oncoming freshmen could process the gaping portal to Damnation that had just materialized in the middle of the hallway, Loona raised her foot and planted her shoe firmly into the center of Blitzo's back.
"AHSHIT-"
Blitzo flew face first through the portal. The second his coattails cleared the threshold, the portal slammed shut with a snap. The glowing light vanished. The smell of sulfur lingered for just a fraction of a second before the air conditioner whisked it away.
Loona groaned in frustration and pinched the bridge of her nose at her adoptive father's carelessness. A few feet away, a random student holding a stack of textbooks stopped dead in his tracks, staring at her with wide, bewildered eyes.
"Uh... did a giant hole just open up in the air?" the student stammered.
Loona slowly turned her head, fixing him with a stare so cold it could have frozen lava. "No. You're hallucinating from sleep deprivation. Get outta here."
The student swallowed hard, nodded frantically then immediately bolted down the hall.
Loona let out a long, exhausted breath, rubbing her temples. "Fuck, I hate this place already." she muttered to herself, turning on her heel to march down the hallway. As she walked, her phone buzzed which caught her attention. She took the phone out to see it was a text from Blitzo. Loona rolled her eyes and opened up the chat log.
HorsFckr: did u find him yet? the spiderguy? is he there?
Loona: blitz you literally just left a minute ago. what do you think?
HorsFckr: im impatient
Loona: no shit.
Groaning in annoyance, Loona put her phone on silent mode and stuffed it down her pocket as she continued her march down the hall alongside the other students.
Navigating the bustling, crowded hallways of the building felt like wading through a sea of human noise. Loona kept her head down so as to not draw too much attention to herself but her eyes were constantly darting from person to person, scrutinizing every single face that passed by.
As she walked, she mentally replayed the briefing, if you could even call it that, that the rest of I.M.P. had given her back at the office the day before.
From what she could recall, the three Imps got their asses kicked hard by some web-shooting lunatic in red and blue underwear. She could still hear the whiny voice of Moxxie in her head complaining about how the Spider-Man dodged almost every single one of his bullets and dropkicked him directly in the face while he held an ice pack over his swollen, bruised eye. Loona smirked at the memory, she would've paid good money to see that happen in real time.
Other than that, the Imps relayed some behavioral information about Spider-Man to her to help her narrow down his identity. Mainly that he's a 'Real Prick' (Millie's words) and an 'Annoying, quipping little shit' (Blitzo's words).
So, Loona's checklist was simple: Cocky. Annoying. Extremely arrogant and prone to running his mouth like he owned the place. She scoffed quietly to herself. Great. In a college full of eighteen-to-twentysomethings, that narrows it down to about ninety percent of the population.
Loona kept walking as she turned a corner, her sharp eyes scanning the clusters of students chatting near the lockers. Most of them seemed pretty normal… Relatively speaking. tired, stressed, clutching iced coffees, or panicking over syllabus requirements. None of them looked like they had the swagger of a masked vigilante who enjoyed dropkicking demons for fun.
Until her eyes landed upon a blonde guy standing by the drinking fountain.
He was tall, broad-shouldered, wearing a varsity jacket over a fitted t-shirt that practically screamed 'look at my biceps'. He was leaning against a pillar with an agonizingly smug grin plastered across his face, loudly attempting to flirt with two female freshmen who looked like they were desperately searching for an exit strategy.
"Hey, ladies, listen." the guy boomed, his voice carrying over the ambient hall noise with staggering self-importance. "You're looking at Flash Thompson. Yeah, that Flash. High School Football Legend and ESU's finest. If you need someone to show you around campus, or, you know, protect you from the rougher parts of town, you just let me know. I got connections, babes."
He winked and flexed his arm casually, chuckling at his own pickup line while the two girls offered stiff, pained smiles before quickly ducking into a nearby restroom to escape him.
Flash didn't even seem bothered by their swift departure. He just shrugged then ran a hand through his hair, checking his reflection in a window, utterly convinced he was the smoothest guy in the state of New York.
Loona stopped dead in her tracks, staring at him from across the hall. Her eyes narrowed at him. Like a predator locking in on its future prey.
Annoying? Check? Loud mouth? Check. Massive, unearned ego? Big fat check.
"Cocky and extremely arrogant…" Loona muttered under her breath. A faint, predatory smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. She shoved her hands deeper into her pockets, taking a slow step toward him. "Well, that didn't take too long at all."
Before Loona could take another step toward her prime suspect, a blur of sweat, worn denim, and utter panic exploded around the corner.
"Out of the way! Sorry! Coming through- oh man, Dr. Connors is gonna skin me alive!"
CRASH!
The impact wasn't enough to knock Loona off her feet. Hell, she had taken hits from angry Imp thugs before that felt like love taps compared to this, but it was enough to send the guy flying backward onto his rear. A cascade of loose papers and a half-eaten bagel went flying into the air, scattering across the slick marble floor.
"Gah! Oh man! I am so, so sorry!"
Loona slowly blinked, lowering her gaze to the frantic mess scrambling on the floor.
It was a guy with messy brown hair and a loose faded Empire State University t-shirt that looked like it had survived three trips through a lawnmower and then some. He was frantically swiping up his papers, muttering to himself at a mile in a minute.
"Again, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to- you see, my alarm didn't go off, then the subway line was delayed and-" He jammed a battered notebook into his overflowing backpack, finally looking up at her with a wildly panicked, apologetic grin. "Seriously, totally my fault. Won't happen again. You okay?"
Loona just stared down at him. Her face was a complete blank mask of utter indifference and sheer, unadulterated confusion.
She looked at the guy. Then she looked back across the hall at Flash Thompson, who was currently winking at his own reflection in a water fountain. Then she looked back down at the seemingly scrawny, disorganized trainwreck currently debating to himself on whether he should grab the half-eaten bagel he dropped or just leave it there for the janitors while almost tripping over his own untied sneaker.
This guy? she thought, her internal alarm system going completely dead. Yep, this guy can't be Spider-Man. Not a sliver of a chance.
He didn't have a swagger. He didn't have an ego. He looked like he'd break a wrist if he tried to punch a wet paper towel and he was currently sweating through his shirt because he ran up two flights of stairs.
"Yeah. Whatever. Watch where you're going next time." Loona muttered, her voice dripping with bored irritation as she casually stepped over his scattered papers.
"Right! Absolutely! Watch the feet, Parker, watch the feet!" Peter stammered, scrambling up to his feet and pulling his backpack strap over his shoulder. He gave her one last quick, nervous nod. "Sorry again!" With that, Peter Parker took off sprinting down the hall like his life depended on it, his sneakers squeaking loudly against the floor as he rounded the corner towards his class.
Loona didn't even bother watching him leave. She just rolled her eyes, scoffed under her breath, and turned her full attention back to Flash Thompson.
Now… Time to squash this spider.
Meanwhile, Flash Thompson was in the middle of admiring his own bicep peak in the glass reflection of an ESU bulletin board when a shadow fell over him.
He turned, adjusting his jacket, expecting another fan or maybe a lost freshman. Instead, he found himself looking directly at a silver haired girl in a dark crop top, ripped shorts, and a cold look in her eyes that suggested she ate glass for breakfast.
Loona slouched in front of him, hands jammed deep into her pockets. "Hey." She said, her voice a low, raspy drawl.
Flash blinked. A slow, greasy smirk spread across his face as he took her presence in. Goth babe. A little intense but hey, Flash Thompson doesn't discriminate when it comes to inner city edge.
"Well, well. Hey there, hot stuff." Flash purred, leaning against the wall with what he clearly thought was magnetic charm. "Lost? Looking for the gym? Or did you just come over to get a closer look at ESU's prime physical specimen?"
Loona felt a vein twitch in her forehead. Moxxie was right. This prick was insufferable.
"Yeah, whatever." Loona grumbled, cutting right through his pitch. "Look. You and me. Rooftop. Right now. Alone."
Flash's jaw didn't drop but his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. He let out a low, breathless laugh, running a hand through his gelled hair. This chick was direct. He liked direct.
"Whoa, okay! Moving fast now, aren't we?" Flash chuckled, throwing his head back with obnoxious confidence. "I get it, babe. The Flash effect hits hard, it's almost like a superpower if you asked me. A quiet, private spot on the roof just for the two of us? Say less. Lead the way, beautiful. Flash Thompson never turns down a hot date."
Loona didn't say a word. She just slowly turned her head, looking away from him for a brief second and rolled her eyes so far into the back of her head she almost gave herself a migraine.
A date. Yeah, right. Keep telling yourself that, hotshot.
"Yeah. Great." Loona muttered, tossing her head toward the emergency stairwell at the end of the hall. "Just keep quiet and follow me, Thompson."
…
…
…
In the back row of a dimly lit lecture hall, Peter Parker was practically vibrating with intense, desperate focus. His eyes were glued to the whiteboard, his pen flying across his notebook at breakneck speed as he tried to transcribe every single word and piece of information coming out of Dr. Connors' mouth.
"...and so, the cellular regeneration in reptilian tissue relies heavily on…"
Peter nodded along like a bobblehead, internally begging the universe for forgiveness.
Come on, Connors, see the dedication. See the academic fire. Ignore the fact that I was twelve minutes late.
BZZZZ.
Peter's phone vibrated violently in his pocket. Keeping his eyes locked on the front of the room, he subtly slid the phone out, shielding the screen beneath his desk.
It was a NYC news alert.
BREAKING: SUPERPOWERED SUSPECT "HERMAN SCHULTZ" AKA THE SHOCKER, ROBS MIDTOWN BANK. UTILIZING VIBRATIONAL SHOCKWAVES. HEADING NORTH TOWARDS ESU CAMPUS.
Peter winced, letting out a tiny, miserable groan. "Shocker? Really? Herman, it's 10:15 on a Tuesday morning. Go get a hobby." Peter muttered to himself.
Suddenly, the air on the back of Peter's neck grew suffocatingly thick.
BZZZZZZZZT.
The unmistakable sensation of his Spider-Sense hit him like an electric shock right behind his eyes. A sharp, buzzing spike of danger ringing out from the west side of campus. Shocker wasn't just heading toward ESU; he was practically at the front gates. Peter looked at a nearby window and silently cursed to himself under his breath.
"Which brings us to the core equation." Dr. Connors said, turning away from the whiteboard, chalk hovering in his hand. He scanned the rows of sleeping and distracted students, his eyes finally landing on the back row. "Mr. Parker. Since you arrived with such... enthusiastic energy today, perhaps you can tell the class how we synthesize the base protein compound?"
Silence fell over the room. The students silently snickering to themselves.
Dr. Connors lowered his glasses, squinting up towards the top bleachers. "Mr. Parker?"
The seat at the back of the class was completely empty.
An open notebook was still on the desk, a pen was rolling across the floor, and the window directly adjacent to the back row was swinging open just an inch, letting in a cool morning breeze.
Dr. Connors stared at the empty chair for three long seconds, pinched the bridge of his nose, and let out an exhausted sigh. "Right. Zero points for attendance."
…
…
…
The concrete stairs echoed with the steady thumping of Loona's sneakers and the insufferable, non-stop cadence of Flash Thompson's voice.
"I'm just saying, babe. Most girls take me to a coffee shop first but I respect the hustle!" Flash bragged, puffing his chest as he strutted up the final flight of steps behind her. "You see a prime alpha male, you mark your territory. I get it. Did I ever tell you about the time I scored three touchdowns in one quarter at Midtown High? Pure athletic genius. My coach literally wept!"
Loona kept walking, her jaw clenched so tightly her back teeth were grinding together. She had to constantly remind herself in her head that this whole ordeal is gonna be all over in just a few minutes.
Just get him up there, force him to drop the disguise, and blow his head off. Easy.
"And don't even get me started on my fitness routine!" Flash continued, completely oblivious. "Heavy weight, high reps, pure protein diet. You like muscles, right? 'Cause you're looking at 190 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal-"
"Shut. Up." Loona growled, shoving open the heavy metal door to the rooftop.
The bright sunlight washed over them, accompanied by the brisk New York City wind. Loona stepped out onto the gravel-lined roof, scanning the area with razor sharp intensity. She checked behind the massive HVAC units, glanced up at the water tower, and peeped over the ledge.
Empty. Not a single soul in sight. The coast was completely clear.
Flash strutted out behind her, casually leaning against the brick doorway, popping his collar. "Ah, the fresh air. Very romantic. So... what's the game plan, gorgeous? You gonna tell me your name, or do I just call you 'lucky'?"
"Close your eyes." she said, her voice dropping into a dangerous, dark purr.
Flash's eyes lit up. A massive, victorious grin stretched across his face. Jackpot, he thought. The tough girl act was just a front after all!
"Oh, element of surprise? I like it. You really do know how to make a guy's day!" Flash chuckled eagerly.
He closed his eyes tight, leaned his head forward, and thrust his lips out into a dramatic, exaggerated pucker, waiting for the kiss of a lifetime.
Without missing a beat, Loona reached into her pockets and pulled out a massive, sleek, handgun and pointed the heavy steel barrel directly against the center of Flash's forehead.
Flash stood there on the rooftop, wind blowing through his hair, puckering his lips into the empty air, completely unaware that he was staring down the barrel of a demon's gun.
"Alright, 'Spider-Man'." Loona sneered, her finger tightening on the trigger. "Let's see how cocky you are with your brains painted on the gravel."
Loona's finger was literally milliseconds away from squeezing the trigger and then-
BOOM!
A bone-rattling, deafening shockwave violently slammed into the rooftop. The sheer force of the blast tore through the air, shattering a nearby skylight and sending gravel and dust flying everywhere.
"WHAT THE?!" Flash yelled, his eyes snapping open as he tumbled backward onto his ass.
Loona ducked as she shielded her face. Through the cloud of swirling debris, a heavy figure landed with a loud, metallic THUD right in the center of the roof.
It was a guy in a bright yellow, quilted, padded suit, sporting a pair of massive, glowing mechanical gauntlets that hummed with terrifying kinetic energy. He was breathing heavily, clutching his side as he whirled around to face the sky, yelling at the top of his lungs.
"I AM TIRED OF THIS!" the man in yellow roared, his voice amplified through his helmet. "I am tired of you following me! I am tired of the quips! Just give up and let me take the vault money in peace for ONCE!"
"Oh, come on, Herman! We've talked about this!" a loud and lighthearted voice called out from above.
Loona's eyes darted upward just in time to see a slender figure in a red and blue spandex suit drop effortlessly out of the sky. He flipped through the air, performed a crisp, show-offy handstand on the edge of the water tower, and casually hopped down to the gravel.
"Besides!" Spider-Man chimed in, dusting off his chest with an insufferable amount of confidence. "The University Handbook clearly states that the limit for superpowered costumed freaks on campus grounds is exactly one and guess what? I just claimed that spot today. So you're officially trespassing, Shocker!"
Flash's eyes went as wide as saucers as he witnessed the astonishing scene before him. "SPIDER-MAN?!"
Loona stood frozen, her jaw slightly slack. She slowly lowered the gun at her side as her eyes darted frantically from the trembling, terrified idiot cowering behind her on the ground... to the wall-crawling, trash-talking pest currently popping his knuckles in front of her.
Wait… Loona thought, a wave of profound, boiling annoyance washing over her.
THIS guy is Spider-Man?!
Shocker raised his massive gauntlets, the mechanical coils inside charging with a deep, bone-rattling hum that made the gravel beneath their feet vibrate. A low, sinister chuckle echoed out from behind his mask.
"Rules are meant to be broken anyways, bug." Shocker sneered, his gauntlets flaring with bright yellow energy. "And I am real keen on breaking a few of 'em right now!"
"Whoa, easy there, Herman! Don't make me report you to the Dean for bad behavior!" Spider-Man quipped, dropping into a nimble, low crouch. "I hear he's really strict about unapproved shockwave demonstrations during lecture hours!"
Meanwhile, Loona smoothly slid her handgun back into her pocket, her eyes darting between the costumed lunatic with kinetic cannons and the red and blue clad superhero bouncing on his toes.
Beside her, Flash Thompson was practically hugging her ankles on the floor, whimpering like a terrified puppy. "Oh God, oh God, Spider-Man's here- wait, is that guy gonna blow us up?! Protect me, goth chick!"
Loona stood dead silent, totally frozen in place, her face a twitching mask of pure, boiling rage.
She had just spent the last twenty or so minutes listening to a brainless varsity jock brag about his biceps, fully prepared to execute him to finish the job early… only for the actual target to drop out of the sky like a loud mouthed, spandex-wearing circus freak!
I hate this city. Loona thought, her teeth grinding so hard it hurt. I hate this school, and I hate every single person in it.
Before Shocker could pull the trigger on his glowing gauntlets, two thick strands of white webbing shot through the air, slapping flush across his quilted chest.
"Though on second thought." Spider-Man chimed in, yanking back on the lines with terrifying strength! "Let's take this off-campus! ESU's janitorial staff already deals with enough vomit on Thursday nights! Kinetic property damage is the last thing they need!"
With a mighty heave, Spider-Man launched Shocker entirely off his feet, swinging the heavy villain over the rooftop ledge and sending him flying straight over the ESU perimeter gates toward the empty street below. Shocker let out a fading, angry bellow as he plummeted out of sight.
"Catch ya on the flip side, Herman!" Spider-Man yelled, diving headfirst off the edge of the roof after him, taking off with a graceful, long distance web swing.
The rooftop went dead quiet, save for the hum of the air units and the whistling wind.
The second the coast was clear, Flash Thompson scrambled to his feet like a startled cat, his face pale and sweating bullets. "NOPE! I'm getting outta here! I am toopretty to get pulverized by shockwaves!" he screamed, not even glancing back at Loona as he sprinted for his life, throwing the heavy stairwell door open and diving inside.
Loona didn't even bother watching him run. She just stood there on the gravel, staring off the edge of the building.
Down in the city streets, a massive BOOM echoed out as Shocker blasted himself back onto his feet, only for Spider-Man to come swinging in like a pendulum, planting both boots right into the supervillain's chest. The red and blue hero flipped effortlessly off a streetlight, dodging a stray vibrational wave with fluid, impossible acrobatics, laughing and throwing out relentless taunts the entire time.
Loona's eyes narrowed, analyzing every single move.
He's fast. Way faster than Moxxie or Millie. she thought, her brain automatically calculating his reflexes, his jumping distance, the terrifying elasticity of those webs and how he dodges before the attack even hits him. If I just jump down there with a gun right now… I'm gonna draw a crowd, blow my cover, and probably get webbed to a streetlight before I can even pull the trigger.
A slow, vicious smirk crept across her lips.
"Blind firing isn't gonna cut it." Loona muttered to herself. "I need to see what else this bug can do."
Without a second of hesitation, Loona vaulted over the rooftop ledge, dropping down the fire escape then to the ground with Hellhound agility and strength to stalk the battle from the shadows.
…
…
…
Loona slipped through the narrow gap between two brick alleyways, keeping her body low and pinned to the dark mortar. Up ahead, the street was a scene of utter chaos; cracked asphalt, shattered shop windows, and small clouds of dust floating in the air.
She narrowed her eyes, crouching behind a massive steel dumpster to observe the fight up close.
In the middle of that ruined street, Shocker was panting heavily, his gauntlets hummed with flickering, unstable yellow energy. Spider-Man was casually perched upside down on a nearby streetlight, hanging by a single line of web as if he were resting on a lounge chair.
"Look, Herman, I'm gonna be real honest with you." Spider-Man said, lazily swinging back and forth. "For a guy who calls himself 'The Shocker', fights with you are pretty boring. And super predictable!"
Shocker's gauntlets sparked violently. "I'm going to turn you into jelly, you wall crawling freak!"
"See?! That's what I'm talking about!" Spider-Man groaned, tossing his hands up in theatrical disappointment. "It's always 'I'm gonna turn you into jelly,' or 'I'm gonna blast you into next week!' Where's the creativity? Where's the theatrical flair? You've got mechanical shockwave gauntlets, man! You could be opening up the world's most aggressive massage parlor but instead, you're robbing regional banks on a Tuesday morning. It's tragic, really."
Veins bulged on Shocker's neck beneath his yellow helmet. "SHUT UP!" he roared, slamming his gauntlets together to charge a massive, street wide blast.
Behind the dumpster, Loona crossed her arms, her eyes narrowed as she took in the chaotic scene before her.
Damn, Moxxie was right. Loona thought, rolling her eyes so hard it physically hurt. This guy literally never shuts his mouth.
Shocker snapped. "FEEL THIS, WEBHEAD!"
He slammed both fists into the asphalt. A violent, concentrated kinetic wave blasted through the street, ripping up the road. Spider-Man flipped backward to dodge, but the radius was too wide, the concussive force caught him mid-air, slamming him very hard against the side of a parked delivery van.
THUD!
"Argh! Alright, fine! The massage parlor joke was a littlemean!" Spider-Man groaned, sliding down onto the pavement.
Shocker grinned under his helmet, raising both gauntlets as they surged with blinding yellow energy, aiming directly for the downed hero. "Gotcha, you slippery little bug! End of the line!"
From behind the dumpster, Loona's eyes widened slightly. Is that it? Is he really about to get taken out by a guy who looks like he could be the mascot of a mattress store?
But Spider-Man didn't panic. In a fraction of a second, his eyes darted from Shocker's glowing gauntlets to a busted fire hydrant right beside the villain, then up to an exposed electrical junction box hanging off the streetlight directly overhead.
THWIP! THWIP!
Before Shocker could pull his triggers, two web lines snapped out. The first yanked the top clean off the fire hydrant, blasting a violent, high pressure geyser of water straight into Shocker's face.
"WHAT THE-" Shocker stumbled back, blinded and drenched.
The second web line snagged the exposed electrical wire above, yanking it down into the gushing water at Shocker's feet.
ZZZZZZZZT-SPARK!
The current traveled instantly through the water, short circuiting Shocker's high tech gauntlets in a violent burst of blue sparks and smoke. The villain let out a brief, shocked yelp before his gauntlets sputtered out, dead.
"And that is why we keep high voltage equipment away from open water, kids!" Spider-Man chirped, bouncing right back onto his feet like he hadn't just been thrown into a van seconds ago. With two quick web shots, he pinned the ruined gauntlets together and webbed Shocker securely to the brick wall.
Loona slowly stepped back deeper into the shadows of the alleyway, staring at the red and blue hero in genuine, grudging surprise.
She had come here expecting a brainless, arrogant idiot who just got lucky with acrobatic tricks. But the way he had mapped out that entire trap in less than a second… Using the hydrant, the wire, and the water to neutralize the gauntlets without even getting up from the ground…
Damn it. Loona thought, her brow furrowing into a frustrated scowl as she crossed her arms. He isn't just a loudmouth. This bastard's actually kinda smart.
Which meant putting a bullet in his head wasn't going to be nearly as easy as Blitzo thought. Speaking of which, she should probably report back to him soon once this whole ordeal is over.
"Now that's what I call Shocking!" Spider-Man declared, clapping his hands together as Shocker squirmed and powerlessly struggled against the thick, hardening webbing binding him to the brick wall.
"You freak! Cut me down! Or else I'll tear you apart limb from limb!" Shocker growled, straining his arms to no avail.
"Nuh uh, Herman! No can do!" Spider-Man taunted, giving him a playful, double fiinger gun salute. "Stay put like a good little criminal until the cops show up, alright? I'd love to stick around and help you fill out your police report, but I've got places to be and college professors to violently apologize to for ditching on the very first day of class!"
With a crisp Thwip!, a web line snagged the corner of a high rise across the street, and Spider-Man launched himself into the sky, effortlessly swinging away into the New York City skyline with a cheerful, booming WOOHOO!
From the dim shadows of the alleyway, Loona watched his fading red and blue figure vanish into the distance. She leaned back against the brick wall, letting out a heavy, irritated sigh. Taking down Spider-Man wasn't going to be a simple hit and run… The guy had the instincts, the speed, and a brain to back up his endless running mouth.
Remembering her original job, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her smartphone. She had switched it to silent mode earlier that day just to avoid drawing attention to herself.
The screen lit up.
Loona's eyes widened in genuine, horrified shock.
114 MISSED CALLS FROM: HorsFckr
98 UNREAD MESSAGES FROM: HorsFckr
HorsFckr: DID U FIND HIM YET?
HorsFckr: WAS THE SPIDERGUY THERE?
HorsFckr: loona i made a snack for u when u come back
HorsFckr: its a whole raw chiken
HorsFckr: hope u like it :)
HorsFckr: IS SPIDERDUDES BRAINS ON THE GROUND YET?
Loona stared at the screen as the notification counter ticked up to 99. Her hand trembled with a lethal mix of exhaustion and boiling rage. She let out a low, gut wrenching groan, burying her face directly into her palm.
Loona then took a deep and slow breath as she regained her composure. She thought hard to herself. You can kick his ass later. The report is more important now.
Loona exhaled then tapped away at her phone to respond to her dad.
Loona: ye i found him.
Loona: u guys were right.
Loona: this guy sucks.
…
…
…
Back inside the building, the hallways had thinned out as students trickled off toward the quad or their next classes.
Peter Parker came skidding around the corner, his sneakers squeaking loudly against the linoleum. His shirt was rumpled, his hair was a windblown disaster, and he was desperately adjusting his backpack straps while clutching a stack of loose notebook paper.
"Okay, okay… Calm down, Peter. If I just slip into the back row, maybe Connors won't-"
Peter rounded the doorway to the lecture hall at full speed and instantly slammed right into a tall, one armed, slouched man exiting the room with a briefcase.
"Woah! Sorry I didn't mean-" Peter stammered, grabbing the man's right arm to steady him… Or rather, lack thereof.
He froze, realizing he just grabbed an empty sleeve. Looking up, Peter found himself face to face with Dr. Curt Connors. The lecture hall behind him was completely empty, the lights turned off, and the whiteboard wiped clean. The class had already ended twenty minutes ago.
Peter's shoulders dropped into his chest. "Dr. Connors... I-I…"
Connors adjusted his glasses with his left hand, looking down at his most promising and currently most frustrating student over the rims. He gave Peter a long, weary look, but there was no real anger in his eyes. Just concern.
"Mr. Parker." Connors said quietly. "I see you've decided to rejoin us. Or rather... rejoin an empty room."
"I am so sorry, sir." Peter pleaded, pressing his hands together. "I swear I didn't mean to walk out like that! I had a... an urgent personal emergency. A sudden... localized... stomach thing! But I promise you, it won't happen again. I'm completely dedicated to this course, Dr. Connors, I swear!"
Connors let out a soft sigh, setting his briefcase down on a nearby desk. He took in the state of the young man in front of him: the deep dark circles under his eyes, the faint bruise forming near his jawline from his brief stint with Shocker, and the sheer, overwhelming tension radiating off his shoulders.
"Peter." Connors said gently, dropping the strict professor facade. "Take it easy. Breathe in and breathe out."
Peter paused, blinking. "Sir?"
"You don't have to pitch yourself to me." Connors said, offering a small, reassuring smile. "I know you're a brilliant young man. I read your application essays, and your high school transcripts speak for themselves. But looking at you right now... you look like you're carrying the weight of the entire city on your back."
Peter swallowed hard, looking down at his scuffed sneakers. "I… I just… I have a lot going on in my plate right now."
"I understand completely." Connors replied, shifting his focus to the bustling quad outside the window. "College is a massive transition, Peter. And whatever it is you're dealing with outside these grounds, whether it's work, family, personal struggles, you don't have to do it all in a vacuum. It's only your first day, after all. The slate is clean."
He turned back to Peter, resting a gentle, paternal hand on the boy's shoulder.
"Don't put so much pressure on yourself to be superheroically perfect at everything." Connors advised softly. "Take time to actually be a student. Make some new friends. Connect with the people around you. You'd be surprised how much lighter that weight feels when you don't try to carry it entirely alone."
Peter stared at his professor, caught off guard by the genuine warmth in his voice. For a second, the heavy, constant tightness in his chest loosened, even for just a fraction.
"I… Thanks… Dr. Connors." Peter said quietly, giving a sincere, appreciative nod. "I really appreciate that."
"Now, go get something to eat for lunch, Parker." Connors smiled, picking his briefcase back up. 'And try to make it to Thursday's lecture before the thirty minute mark, alright? I suggest using an alarm clock next time."
"Alarm clock! Noted! Will do, sir!" Peter chuckled, watching as the professor walked down the hall.
Peter leaned back against the wall, taking a deep, heavy breath. Make new friends, huh? he thought to himself, pulling a crushed, half-eaten granola bar out of his pocket. Easier said than done when your day job involves getting thrown into delivery vans by guys in quilted suits.
…
…
…
The orange glow of late afternoon washed over the Empire State University campus as students poured out of the buildings, eager to start their evening.
Peter Parker dragged his feet toward the main gates, clutching his backpack straps with both hands. His body ached in places he didn't even know existed, a rather lovely parting gift from Herman's kinetic shockwaves, and his brain was completely fried from trying to mentally catch up on the missed chemistry material.
First day of college, folks. Peter thought, letting out a long, exhausted sigh as he stepped onto the sidewalk. Landed a zero on attendance, got hurled into the side of a delivery truck, and ruined a perfectly good bagel. Typical Parker Luck. On the bright side? Didn't get expelled. Yet.
He walked toward the subway station, his mind wandering back through the chaotic blur of the morning. Fighting Shocker was a standard operating procedure at this point but as he waited for the pedestrian light to turn, one specific, bizarre moment from earlier that day kept nagging at him.
That girl in the hallway. The one in the dark crop top with the terrifying, death-glare eyes.
Peter frowned. Looking back, the collision itself wasn't what was weird. He bumped into people all the time, part of the downside of rushing everywhere at top speed. What was weird was what happened the exact second his shoulder brushed against hers.
His neck felt prickled and heavy. Almost like he was getting choked.
It wasn't the full blown, alarm bell ringing DANGER DANGER buzz he got when Shocker fired a kinetic blast or when a taxi ran a red light. It was quieter. A subtle, static-like hum right at the base of his skull. A faint signal warning him that something about that girl was profoundly off.
"Why would some random, grumpy goth girl trigger my Spider-Sense?" Peter muttered to himself, rubbing the back of his neck in genuine confusion.
Was she a villain? A mugger? Just a really, really intense caffeine addict?
He shook his head, wincing as a slight tension headache began to throb behind his temples.
"Ah, forget it. You're overthinking again, Parker." he grumbled, stepping off the curb as the light turned green. "You've only had these powers for a few months. The Spider-Sense is probably just glitching out. Hell, yesterday it went off because Aunt May burned the garlic bread."
Deciding to drop the matter before he gave himself a stroke, Peter shoved his hands into his pockets, blending into the sea of New York City commuters.
Just a wonky radar, he told himself, completely oblivious to the fact that his 'wonky radar' had just accurately flagged a Hellhound that was sent to track and kill him specifically. Yep. Nothing to worry about.