*Merry Christmas
[KIYOTO]
"Don't go… not yet. Please stay," Jiminie whimpered, his voice low and defeated.
He didn't see himself getting through all this on his own, yet deep down he knew he had to ready himself for what was to come.
Because Agust wouldn't always be there.
It was a sad reality, one that he hadn't even thought much about until this moment.
The evening had been a success, but the glares that had lingered in the silence, the disapproval from his mother on every choice he made, even that which was for the safety of Kiyoto, haunted him still.
He wasn't sure if there was much he could say or do about it, but then life was about to change for both of them. Oh, Jiminie had listened to the mad king, and he knew Agust was going to avenge him.
He knew the mad king was going to go to war with his people for him, yet even then, Jiminie didn't even know what to say to that.
A 'thank you' would be underwhelming.
An 'I love you' would seem performative.
There wasn't a thing that he could do without overthinking it all. So, asking Agust to stay was the only thing he could come up with at the moment. And he hoped it would work in both their favor.
"My beautiful Jiminie…" Agust whispered like a desperate prayer.
"I'm sorry… about them. I didn't think… I just hoped…" Jiminie trailed off, his words getting caught in his throat.
He wanted to say that his people weren't always that cruel or rude.
That his people were only being defensive of him because they had always seen what damage was left each time Agust came back in Jiminie's life and then chose to leave.
That they were just trying to protect him from himself and his heart.
That they were not always that bad, but the words were still stuck in his throat.
Because generally, there wasn't a thing that he could say, especially given what his people had said or even how they had reacted, was valid.
After all, at the end of the day, they were always the ones who stayed when the sun was shining a little too harshly on Jiminie. When Luna Park was being a nuisance that they had always come to get used to it.
They had been there for Jiminie.
"I know. I would have done worse if I were in their position," Agust said in understanding.
Like he knew where they were coming from.
Like he knew that was just the right reaction to him suddenly showing up in Kiyoto the very day that his people had slaughtered half of Jiminie's pack.
He knew it wasn't the wisest of things that Kiyoto could have had to deal with, and he wanted to say sorry too. But then this was the cycle they had both found themselves in.
Perhaps at the end of the day, there would be better ways to go around this, right?
"Thank you, though… for this," Jiminie said softly.
And when Agust pulled him into a warm hug, Jiminie didn't fight it. They needed it. To get through the evening. To remind themselves that, at the end of the day, they would be fine. That their lives didn't have to press pause anymore.
As they stayed in the hug, Agust held on tighter. Maybe because he saw the lingering silhouette of his Erasthai's Beta in the shadows. He wanted to say he wasn't sure, but Agust had the kind of eyes that could see through anything.
And he was certain that he saw Lee Tang lingering.
Maybe it was because the bata cared for his Erasthai, yet somehow Agust didn't believe that.
Not here.
Not at the moment.
It was like Lee Tang was lingering for another reason, and the longer that Agust stared at Lee Tang's silhouette, the more he realized that the beta cared for his Erasthai…
In ways more than any better or better friend should have.
"You smell so fucking good," Agust said, focusing on Jiminie again.
"I'll make this right, I promise, Jiminie," Agust added softly when he realized Jiminie was still stiff in the hug. His Erasthai was scared of things going haywire for them again.
It was as if Jiminie was so ready to defend him again.
But Agust would see to it that things didn't get as complicated for his Erasthai.
"They… they shouldn't have talked to you like that," Agust said quietly when they pulled back from the hug, and he entwined his hands with Jiminie's.
Here with Jiminie, he wasn't even a king.
He was just a man and his beloved.
A man who was ready to burn everything down for the man that he loved and who was working through so much just for Jiminie.
Jiminie didn't even look at him. Not because he was worried about where this would lead, but because he knew, too, what this would mean for them both.
He didn't need to spell it out for the Lycan king to know that there was still a lot that lingered and so much hurt that was strung between them.
Of course, he understood what Agust was aiming for, but then it was probably too early to get into that mode with each other. Perhaps if the morning came, it would be easier for them.
Yet Agust didn't seem to get that memo, and instead went on.
"I shouldn't have put you in that position. Shouldn't have done things that led to you defending me on your land, when it was my fault that my pope came and hurt you.
"They brought you pain, and I was the reason you had to stand there and fight for me before them. I am really sorry about that, Jiminie," the mad king said in earnest, bowing his head in shame.
And Jiminie stiffened.
The man who never bowed.
The man who never went on his knees for anyone.
He was here with a bowed head and on his knees like he was presenting an act of penance. Like this was the only way that he knew to make things better, or harsh or realistic.
Gods, there was no understanding of what life could turn into at the moment.
"Xiao…" Jiminie tried, and Agust sighed in earnest.
"It's not about what they said… but what they feel, Xiao Xiao," Jiminie forced out, his tone clipped, like the idea of the fact that truth was such a cruel fate for him than having to deal with the chaos that had been.
And in that moment, he looked at Agust, who was still on his knees.
"They hate you, and they aren't wrong to do that," Jiminie added quietly as he held Agust's hand and helped him up, as seeing his Erasthai on his knees hurt more than the power that came with having the mightiest king in the entire realm bow for him.
When their eyes met, Agust saw the hurt that had always been there because of him. He saw something that even he couldn't quite get over for a while.
Because this was the result of what he had done over the years. The things he had forced his Erasthai into. The kind that had fucked his sanity and left him a very selfish man with nothing that could be fixed… not now anyway.
"I know," the king acknowledged in shame.