Yaelish watched Jenn travelling. For the three days that they'd been walking since the memorial service had ended, it had been almost as if nothing had happened. Yet, Yaelish could somehow feel a change in the Blue Rose that made it feel like she wasn't quite the same person.
She wasn't sure how to put it into words, just that the way Jenn carried herself was that much different than she had before. It felt strange thinking about this, but she couldn't help but feel worried that something had changed in the Blue Rose that might make her want to leave.
Yaelish wasn't sure what she'd do if Jenn left them, as she had become central to them. A leader that they would follow no matter where she led. Yaelish wasn't worried that Jenn would even consider bring back slavery among them, even though that was within her right. Even if she did that, Yaelish was confident that everyone would continue to follow her. Primarily because of the fact that she had saved them when they were slaves themselves or because she was the leader they'd flocked to when she formed the Sliverthorns, her mercenary company that Yaelish was certain would become the backbone of whatever military that Jenn was thinking of setting up.
Yaelish wasn't sure what Jenn's overall plan was, but she was confident that she had one.
However, with the change that had come over Jenn, Yaelish worried that she might walk away from being the Blue Rose. Something that scared Yaelish more than anything she had thought of before.
Even the thought of Jenn getting killed hadn't scared her as much as the thought of Jenn choosing to leave of her own accord. To abandon them when she was the one that needed to lead them, regardless of what direction she led them in.
However, she couldn't bring herself to even voice these concerns when she was by herself. If she did, it felt like she might be giving life to those worries, that it would happen if she let them take some kind of form outside of her.
Even if it killed her, Yaelish was determined to carry these thoughts to her grave, if only to keep the Blue Rose from leaving. To keep her from leaving them leaderless.
As they walked, Jenn suddenly turned to Yaelish and asked, "You seem to be preoccupied with something. Is it something you'd like to talk about?"
Yaelish couldn't help but smile ruefully as she shook her head. Of course the Blue Rose would sense a change in her. She was always perceptive and knew so much more than the rest of them. It was only a matter of time before she noticed, Yaelish realized in that moment. She was foolish for even thinking that she'd have been able to keep a secret from the Bue rose.
"I'd rather not," Yaelish admitted, the fear of her worries taking form too great to even admit them to the Blue Rose. Even if Jenn would be able to dispel them by assuring her that she wasn't going anywhere.
Jenn shook her head, making Yaelish wonder what she was thinking. She wasn't sure if Jenn was disappointed in her or if there was some other reason of why she shook her head. It bothered her and merely added another worry to her mind.
"You know," Jenn said a moment later, startling Yaelish out of her thoughts. "I've been wondering when I'd be able to get back to what I was doing when I first came to this world. I've been wanting to get back to it, but there's just been so many things going on, one after another that I haven't been able to get the time."
"My lady?" Yaelish asked, not sure where Jenn was going with this line of thought, but fearing that it was straying too close to the worries she'd refused to voice.
"Would you like to know what it was that I had been doing when I first came to this world?" Jenn asked casually, dispelling Yaelish's worries for a brief moment before they returned full force.
"I- I would, but what is it that you're saying? You're not- not leaving, are you?"
Yaelish felt her world starting to spin as she considered the possibilities of what was being said to her. Though, while she was the one in charge of Jenn's protection, she couldn't say why she was the one who the Blue Rose was talking to about this. After all, Yaelish was always confident that Jenn had kept her at arms length, at least, because of what she'd done to her in that tournament before Jenn had saved them from being slaves and had become the Blue Rose.
Jenn merely laughed, as if the idea of her leaving was amusing. Which eased Yaelish's worries quite a bit. At least until she spoke.
"Well, once I find the griffin canyon that I came to look for, I will need to return to the world I came from," Jenn replied, making Yaelish feel her heart tighten, as if someone was holding it and had started squeezing it firmly.
"You're going to leave us?" Yaelish couldn't help but feel tears come to her eyes, making her feel even worse right then.
"Well, yeah, I will. I have to finish what I came to do, even though that means I'll have to leave everyone for a while," Jenn answered as if it wasn't a big deal.
Yaelish turned to stare at Jenn, unsure how to respond to that assertion. The fact that the one who protected them and kept them as a cohesive group would willingly leave them felt like it was shattering what had become her entire world.
"But we need you," Yaelish protested, unable to keep herself from voicing her innermost desires. "Without you…" Yaelish trailed off, unable to finish the thought, scared that she would somehow make Jenn leave that much sooner.
"Yes, I've come to realize that I wouldn't be able to find someone everyone would accept as a replacement for me," Jenn commented, surprising Yaelish.
When had the Blue Rose ever thought of finding someone to replace her? No one could replace her.
"So, after I get everything situated, I plan on returning, even if I have to leave my family to do that."
Yaelish blinked as she looked at Jenn again, this time in wonder. She'd never heard her talk about having a family before. As far as Yaelish knew, CIthis and Haln were her only family, and adopted at that. Not that she thought it made them any less of a family.
Yet, Yaelish forced herself to keep quiet. She wasn't sure why Jenn was sharing this with her, but she knew that if she said the wrong thing, that Jenn might stop. Something she found that she didn't want to happen more than anything else.
"The only problem with all that is I'd have to first finish my education on Earth before I could really accept myself as the leader here." Jenn paused for a moment, her gaze turning to look at the trees as they continued walking towards the edge of the Forest of the Lost. Which Yaelish knew they should be reaching any moment, with the mist in the sky starting to clear. "Aside from that, I'd have to see if Alex would be willing to accompany me or if she'd rather do something else."
Alex? Who was Alex? Yaelish couldn't help but wonder. She found herself breathing more shallowly as she was learning so much more about the Blue Rose than she'd ever imagined, but why was she the one who Jenn was telling these things? Weren't there others in her guard detail that she was more at ease around?
"Not to mention I'd have to find a way to talk to my parents about this. If only to let them know where I'd be. I doubt my sister would be that interested in coming here, but at least I'd want her to have the option of visiting from time to time rather than just cutting things off with her completely."
Yaelish felt her foot connect with a stone half buried in the road, causing her to stumble as she tried to catch her balance. Her actions caused Jenn to stop talking about her family, which she couldn't help but mourn because she wanted so much to learn as much as she could about the Blue Rose. Yet, she wasn't sure when she'd get another opportunity to do that now.
"Are you okay?" Jenn asked, looking worried.
"I'm fine, my lady," Yaelish replied, unable to keep a blush from appearing as she caught her balance and steadied herself. "I just tripped over a stone. That's all."
"Well, as long as you're sure," Jenn replied, sounding like she wasn't convinced but didn't press the matter any further.
Yet, she didn't continue talking about what she had been a moment before, making Yaelish scream in her mind about the lost opportunity. She wasn't sure when she'd be able to learn more about Jenn or if that chance would ever appear again, but she couldn't say that she wasn't happy about what she had learned already.
It made her feel almost special to have heard about the Blue Rose's family and some thoughts she had for the future. Plus, the way she talked, helped dispel the fears that she'd been keeping inside her about the Blue Rose leaving. Yeah, she planned on leaving, but more importantly, she planned on returning. That was worth a lot to Yaelish. Especially given the fact that there seemed to be someone who could potentially become her consort. Which Yaelish would be ecstatic about if it were to happen.
However, first, she had to make sure that Jenn survived long enough to carry out her plans for the future.
_
Ralph wasn't sure if it was something Beth had said or if Amelia was starting to chill out about Feon's letter and what she was certain it meant about where Charlie was, or if Beth had gotten her to cave into her desire to get some sleep. Though, Ralph wasn't sure why she'd opted for travelling at night. Especially when he recalled how they always were able to cover larger distances during the day, given how it was much easier to keep from tripping when they had enough light to see with.
However, regardless of the reason, he wasn't complaining. It allowed him to get plenty of sleep and that's what was important to him right then. It'd be different if there was an actual emergency, but Ralph doubted that sort of thing would come up while they were in their current location. Maybe the Marquis would need them to get up if something truly serious happened, but Ralph hadn't seen any signs of anything like that happening, making him rule that as a very unlikely possibility.
Regardless, it was early afternoon when he received word that Beth had woken up and that Amelia wanted to speak with him. Though, it wasn't until that moment that Ralph realized that it wasn't just the Marquis who thought of Amelia as his dead wife come back to life, but rather everyone in the castle likely looked at Amelia that way. As such, they were willing to pass along her messages with the same level of care that they took with the Marquis' messages.
Which irked Ralph in a different way than it did with Amelia, largely because the servants would hardly give him the time of day if he wanted them to pass along something simple to one of his other friends when he didn't feel like using his magic to contact them directly. Though, he did acknowledge that it was him being more lazy at those times than anything else. It was more the matter that he didn't consider himself any less than Amelia, just as she didn't think of herself as better than anyone else, yet the servants here held them in such a disparagingly different levels of importance.
Which made Ralph wonder if Amelia had a point in her desire to leave this castle. It certainly would be something Ralph would probably consider if he was being held in such high regard when he'd rather not have any special consideration.
When Ralph arrived at Amelia's room, he found that he was the last to arrive, which no one complained about. Instead, Amelia was determined to get down to business. So, as he found himself a place to sit on the floor, Amelia started their meeting off.
"Well, now that Beth is back and actually rested, we can get started." Amelia's tone made it clear to Ralph that she wasn't happy with having to have waited for Beth to get some sleep, making Ralph realize just how impatient Amelia was being about this matter. "So, since she hasn't heard what was in Feon's letter, I'll give her a brief explanation about it."
Amelia quickly ran over what they'd learned from Feon's letter, though Ralph wondered if Amelia was abbreviating it a little too much, as she left out what Ralph would have considered key details, such as how it was Embris who had essentially written it, though Ralph wasn't sure if she had learned to write since the last time they'd seen each other. Though, she did at least acknowledge some of what they'd already discussed about the issue. Which Ralph supposed was to keep from having to go over it already and waste time rehashing what they'd already gone over.
When Amelia finished, Hannah spoke up, seeming to clear over some of what Amelia had left out in her rush to cover everything she had. "First, Embris was the one who wrote the letter, or at least had it written. Second, it was delivered by a member of the mercenary band the Silverthorns. And lastly, we don't have any real evidence that Charlie is involved with this mercenary group or their Blue Rose."
Amelia scowled at Hannah as she spoke, but didn't say anything, making Ralph wonder what Amelia's thoughts were right then, making him wish a little that he could peek inside her head right then. Though, he wouldn't be surprised if Amelia would go off on him if she knew he could do that and had looked into her head to read her thoughts.
"So, what we're trying to figure out is if we should head back through the gate to see if Charlie is there or not," Tim summarized what had been said and what they'd actually been discussing when they'd agreed to wait for Beth to return and see what she had to say about the issue before making any final decisions about it.
Beth didn't respond right away, but merely sighed. "You know, I can't say for sure if Charlie was there or not, but I certainly didn't see her. If she is there, then she'd rather busy doing other things and I'd say let her focus on that if she is there. We still haven't found the griffin canyon, so we don't really have a reason to find Charlie other than making sure we know where she is. Maybe it'll work better this way or maybe it'd be better if we were all still together, but I can't say if that's really what we should be focusing on."
"How can you just leave it at that?!" Amelia snapped, sounding rather passionate about the matter. More than Ralph had expected her to be.
"It's more that there's other things that we need to focus on as well," Beth answered patiently. "Like the visitor I had a few nights back. The one I'd encountered before in the capital, who was making it clear what she wants us to do."
"Uh, why are you speaking so cryptically?" Wes asked, sounding a little annoyed. "Just say it out. It's not like we haven't heard you say it before, right?"
Beth didn't respond right away and Ralph couldn't help but wonder if that meant that he'd be able to get out of this meeting without having to say anything. Especially since he could see Beth giving in to the pressure of agreeing to look for Charlie right away. Although, Ralph doubted that he'd be quite that lucky.
"It's just that I've been thinking. If word got out what we've been 'asked' to do, wouldn't the Marquis essentially become our enemy? So, I'd rather not talk too freely where we could be potentially overheard," Beth answered quietly after a minute, her words making Ralph sigh in annoyance.
Of course it'd be something like this, Ralph remarked to himself. Then he did something that he figured he'd probably regret but felt he needed to do anyway. He spoke up. "If you want, we could head out a ways before we continue this," he said, drawing surprised looks his way. "You know, that way we don't have to worry about getting overheard."
Beth merely shook her head. "That's not necessary. I just wanted all of you to understand why I was avoiding saying a few things. Though, given Hannah and I are Kystia's bodyguards, one of us would need to stay her, regardless of how far out we went."
Ralph had to admit, he'd forgotten about that little detail. It hadn't applied to himself, so he really didn't worry about it. Which also made it easy to forget about completely. Though, since it affected Beth, he supposed it was easier for her to remember about.
"Yeah, but the way you said it makes it sound like you're going to be heading out again," Hannah said, sounding rather uneasy. "I'd like to see more of this world too, you know."
"Maybe we can talk with the Marquis about that. I mean, I'm sure the danger has passed for Kystia, right?"
Wes shook his head as he answered, "Just because there hasn't been any more activity on taking Kystia away, we can't be sure that the danger has passed simply because of that. For all we know, whoever was behind her attempted kidnapping is merely biding their time until an opportunity presents itself again."