"Huh? What do you mean? I can't have any help with my first kill." I say, and Silver Raven sighs.
"I'm not going to help you with the actual killing. Just the preparation, mental and otherwise. I'm not sure if you are ready yet." She says, and I get angry.
"You don't get to decide what I'm ready for. If I think I'm ready, then I am ready. Silver Raven, I can do this on my own."
"Fine, it's your choice, but when you realize you can't do it without preparations, come find me. While I'm here, you can call me Maliya. It is not my real name, but Silver Raven is a bit formal and conspicuous. "The name sounds familiar, but I can't place it.
Why does it sound familiar? I swear I've heard that specific name before. "...Okay. I'm sure I won't." I hear a slight movement of clothes, and when I look to the place Silver Raven, no, Maliya, was, she was gone. Nothing there. Looking around, there is no sign she was ever here. Shaking my head, I continue on with my shift. I stay mostly around the taverns and saloons, stopping any particularly drunk men from fighting. Otherwise, it was a quiet night.
I crack my knuckles, content finally with the report for the night patrol. I obviously left out the fact that I met with a rebel, let alone had her offer to help to kill someone. Wait, not help, but just help prepare. Apparently, there is a big difference. Dad prepared me as well as he could, but ultimately, he said that I would have to deal with the mental expense when it came down to it. That there was nothing anyone could do to truly prepare me for it. The act of taking a life off of this earth, stopping a beating heart, taking breath from lungs. Words can apparently only express so little, and too much.
A knock sounds on the door, and I invite the person in. Maddie closes the door behind her, and strides over to me. "Finishing up the report? Can I talk to you for a second?" I nod, closing the report binder.
"Um…I think I need to go to your friends'. I'm starting to show, noticeably, and I'm getting constantly exhausted. I-I'm not sure how much longer I can work." Her head lowers, looking at the ground. She looks exhausted.
(Find where the friend is mentioned and add some details.)
"I will arrange for transport, and I'm sure we'll make do with just us (group size)." I'll have to send a letter, stating that they got injured and are unfit for duty until they heal. Just another thing on my already spilling plate. But it's fine. I have to be fine.
She smiles, thanks me, and leaves to pack her things. I rub my head, wondering why I was chosen to lead this group. Why in the Fates would they assign me with all of this? Supposedly, they don't give you more than you can handle, but it's starting to get there.
Do I go to Silver Raven, Maliya, for help, knowing that I should be the one putting her behind bars? Or do I just ignore her, and attempt the kill in the first place? Like I should have done last night. When I first received the letter. I should have just finished the job right then and there. I've barely had it a day, and it's already messing things up.
I put aside this problem, and work on the current one. I haven't seen him for a while, but I should still write him a letter, explaining the situation. I don't want to spring a random pregnant lady on him.
I finish sending off Maddie, and through everyone's confused goodbyes, Dakota catches my eyes, his concern written on his face. And I know why. We're down a person, and we're not even through the whole assignment. At least that's what I thought was going through his mind, until he gets me alone.
In the kitchen, he pulls me to the side and talks quietly, almost a whisper. "Are you okay? Do you need help with your…personal task.?" He tries to phrase it in a way that doesn't make it sound luke i'm about to kill someone. But there is no wording around it, because thats what it is. Murder. And I thought I could be ready, that I was.
"I'm okay, and I have everything under control." I smile, forcing my face to relax, and hope that he buys it. I give him a small smile, and try to talk around him, because I have someone to see about some lessons. His hand snaps out and grabs onto me again.
"I'm here for you, so don't do anything too rash." His eyes bore into mine, so I nod once, knowing that I'm about to do exactly that.
I walk the town, trying to remain inconspicuous. I'm totally not about to go ask one of the most wanted criminals in this nation for advice on how to murder someone in cold blood. And while they may be deserving of it, I'm not sure I can justify ending their life.
At the hotel she, Maliya, had said she was staying at, I walk up to the desk. A plump woman stands there, scratching away at a paper with her pen. She looks up at me, a smile on her face, before dropping once she actually sees me. Reaching under her table, she pulls a slip of paper from saints know where and slides it to me on the table.
Taking it, i step to the side and read it. 'Meet me in my room at dusk. 204.'
Lovely, so now that my head is stewing and ready for some good old fashion intro to murder, I get hours of waiting. So instead of twiddling my thumbs, I go to relieve John off of guard tower duty. He seems relieved when I ask to switch, but then immediately concerned when he sees my face. I don't know what it gives away, but I don't really want to know. I just need my mind off of the choices I'm about to make.
The day goes by slowly, the time inching by, with nothing happening. People walk by, going about their lives with whatever gusto they muster from the little excitement they have. But the silence only leaves me time to think about my life, one I never got an opinion on. Why don't they let us choose? It wouldn't be too bad-no, those thoughts themselves are enough for prosecution for treason. That was drilled into us from a young age.
Any form of rebellion, even a thought barely formed, is reason enough for a sentencing. Because to go against the High Priests was to go against our High Rulers themselves. Doesn't mean I can't take advice on how to take someone out from one of the leaders of the biggest rebellion we have. If I don't, I'm not sure I could fully go through with it.
Night rolls around too quick, and I'm at the place where Silver Raven, Maliya, was last time. And there she stands, blonde braid shifting in the slight wind. She doesn't turn, waiting for me to come up beside her. She stays silent, staring into the night, and I feel like she is looking into a world that I can't see.
"What do I need to do to prepare? For my…task?" I murmur this, knowing that no one can hear me, but still being cautious. She blinks her eyes slowly, coming back to the present.
"You are turning up here is preparation enough. It means you have resigned to the Fate that was Chosen for you. And while I disagree with that whole process, I looked into your target, and I can agree with that man dying." She turns to me, looking into my eyes.
"Now, how did your Master Trainer teach you to kill? And which do you think would be most vital in this situation?" I think for a moment, because he did teach me quite a lot.
"Something…quiet but will still make sure the message gets through to his victims that he's gone and suffered." She's nodding, agreeing, so I continue. "Either a slit throat or maybe stabbing him through the eyes and into his brain. He isn't married, thank god, but I do know his kid, and he'll be grateful to be rid of him. I can tell. So, I won't have to worry about another person getting in my way or injuring me."
She looks up at the sky, thinking. "I can agree with that assessment. A slit throat wouldn't allow for much suffering on his part, so go for his eyes with two daggers." She pulls out two sharp looking, arrowhead shaped daggers, with a flared base. The blades themselves are about four inches long. "These are twin push daggers, you put them between the fingers in a fist," she shows me, doing exactly that. Placing the flared base in the palm of each hand, she situates them between her index and middle fingers on each side before folding her fists.
"This should give you enough power to blow past the thin layer of skull and into the center of the brain. Once the eyeball hits your fist, you're going to turn them and twist up, doing as much damage as possible." She does the motion, making my stomach twist.
"If you don't twist or turn the blade, you could just end up blinding them. And he could still harm people while blind. And that's not the task. Killing them is." She sheathes the knives and gently hands them over. "Now, let's get going."
I frown as she walks away from the edge, towards another roof. "Am I not going to get any like, practice?" She shakes her head, braid swinging.
"What would you practice on? Another person? The only way to truly teach you how to do this is by throwing you into the deep end." She keeps walking, leaving me to either stand there with two knives, or follow her. I follow.