I breathed in and out, still trying my best to steady myself as best I could. Honestly, I wasn't feeling all too well, in fact, I was feeling pretty drained and even somewhat nauseous all things considered.
Currently, I was sitting around a table in the arcade with Malice, my mentor, and some others. Decker and those he was with at the time had shown up not too long after Malice had saved me. Apparently, he had gotten an emergency alert from the system that I was in danger.
(Damn it...) I muttered while gripping my own arm. (Stop shaking.)
"You alright?" Iris, who was sitting next to me, asked with concern in her voice.
"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine, just a little dizzy as all," I muttered, trying, and failing, to hide my clear discomfort.
"You don't need to lie. It's pretty obvious you're not doing too well," she said, causing me to sigh outwardly.
"Even your exo-skeleton looks paler than normal. I didn't even know that was possible," Yennora chimed in.
(I wish they'd stop doting on me...) I thought to myself.
"Leave her be. She doesn't need crowding," Decker said with a shake of his massive head.
Iris was about to say something, but I cut her off. "It's fine, I'm fine," I muttered, agreeing with Decker. "I just want to know one thing."
(I do appreciate their worry, but it's not helping me right now.) I thought to myself.
"What is a Feral?" I asked after several moments to calm myself somewhat.
"Yeah, I'd like an answer to that as well," Lucius added.
Yennora just sighed before answering a second later. "An Alternative, one that has lost themselves, so to speak."
"Honestly, to put it in a simple way, an Alternative that starts going Feral is somewhat similar to a person suffering from a more twisted version of dementia mixed with rabies."
"Indeed..." Basil nodded in solemn agreement.
"In the end, you don't just forget who you are, you become something lesser, something broken and animalistic," Decker said with his usual neutral expression. "Your form becomes twisted and malformed, gaunt even. You're driven to attack and devour the Essence of Change belonging to other Alternatives."
Yennora nodded at that before continuing. "You're not even given the release that comes with completely losing your consciousness, as you retain just enough of your sense of self and faculties to fully understand what it is you've become."
"A truly horrid fate, one I would not wish upon even my worst enemies," Basil shook his head as he crossed his scaled arms in front of himself.
"Can it spread from person to person? Like a disease or virus, I mean. Also, is there a cure for it?" Iris asked, sounding rather concerned, not that I could blame her.
"Thankfully, no. It can't be spread. It's more like a mental illness than anything else. It can be triggered by a variety of things; however, the main cause is an Alternative's inability to connect with their new instincts and form after their reincarnation," Yennora answered.
(Thank God...) I thought, relieved to know I wouldn't be transforming into a mindless monster thanks to that not-so-pleasant encounter.
Yennora let us fully absorb that piece of information before continuing. "As for a cure, well, yes and no. In the early stages, it's like depression. So long as you get the appropriate help, you'll be fine. However, in the later stages, it's impossible to fix."
"And worst of all, the poor creature that attacked young Carmen was nothing but a newly manifested Alternative, one that may have been saved if not for their mentor's disgraceful negligence," Basil hissed, sounding genuinely angry for the first time since I had met him.
"Right, their mentor..."
_ _ _ _flash back_ _ _
"That, little one, was a Feral," Malice said as she looked down at me.
"That... that sounds familiar..." I muttered to myself.
(Didn't Goldy say something like that once?) I thought, momentarily confused.
"What exactly is a Fera-?" Before I could finish that question, someone interrupted me.
"Well well, what exactly is going on here?"
Turning slightly, I was met with the figure of a masked individual, a mask that resembled a somewhat more predatory version of a hare. He was male, from what I could tell, with a lanky yet muscular build. His hands were covered in gloves made of fabric and metal, designed to resemble the talons of some kind of large bird of prey.
As for the rest of his attire, he was dressed in mostly grey clothes with black leather straps wrapped around various parts of his body. His clothes looked like they had been stitched back together multiple times, and he wore a leather coat draped over his shoulders, trimmed with dull white fur around the edges.
(Who... who the heck is this guy? And why is he giving me such an ominous feeling?) I thought, watching as he glanced around with what seemed like amusement.
"Ah, so that's it, huh," the guy said after a moment, nodding to himself in understanding. "It seems my dear pupil has gone and gotten himself killed. Such a shame." His voice was incredibly calm, with a hint of mockery.
"And what's worse is that he's left me with quite the mess indeed." He sighed, shaking his head in fake disappointment. It was clear he didn't care for his charge in the slightest.
It was then that his attention shifted to me, and I suddenly felt my instincts flare in alarm. "How very embarrassing."
"I suggest you think very carefully," Malice hummed, interrupting him as she stepped forward. Her voice took on a much colder edge as her armor seemed to loosen again, causing the temperature in the surrounding area to sharply rise once more. "Whatever it is you were just contemplating on doing..."
"D̦͈̼̯̜̿ͮ̔͆͂̇͝ͅo̸̴͇̬͎̹͓͍̘ͦ͊́̏͒ͣ͛n̨̥͍̬͈ͧ̓́̿ͫ̂̕͏̨̯̲̭͞'t̵̡̠̘̙̮̥̯̰̫̫̄͋́̌̉."
"Now now, there's no need to be so hostile," he mused, completely unfazed by the oppressive atmosphere that now surrounded him.
"I was just about to apologize, is all."
(Yeah, I'm calling bullshit on that...) I thought to myself.
"You should be apologizing to your student. After all, you could have-"
"What's the point of helping trash that can't even adapt to their new form without a guiding hand?" he interrupted. His response was rather unnerving to me, not because of what he said, but how he said it.
He had asked it like a genuine question, as if he truly couldn't understand what was wrong with his logic. It honestly threw me off, though Malice continued to stare him down for several agonizing seconds.
"If you truly believe that, then you have no reason to be here." Malice said, her form crackling with energy.
"You do have a point there," he replied. "I was just curious, is all. However, now that things have turned out like this, I suppose I have no choice but to leave..."
"After all, I'm not foolish enough to fight one of his former students." I didn't understand what that meant, but from the way Malice stiffened, it was clear something was up.
Before he left, however, he glanced over his shoulder. "The name's Kodex, by the way."
(What an ass...)
_ _ _ _Flashback Over_ _ _ _
"Fucking creep..." I muttered to myself as my focus returned to the present.
(If... if Malice hadn't been there... he... he would have...) I trailed off, not really wanting to finish that thought.
The worst part, though, was that he probably wouldn't have done it out of anger for his failed pupil. He made it pretty clear he didn't give a damn about them after all. No, he would have done it simply on a whim, like someone deciding to step on an ant just because they could.
"Thanks, by the way..." I muttered as I glanced over at Malice, who tilted her head slightly at my words.
"Hmm?"
"For saving my dumb ass," I added, and she simply nodded in response.
We all continued chatting for a bit before Yennora finally spoke up once again. "You said the guy's name was Kodex, right?"
"Have you heard of him?"
They didn't say anything more, but from the looks on their faces, the answer was obvious. In fact, it wasn't hard to tell that the guy's reputation wasn't exactly good. (Guess I should count myself lucky Malice was there to stop him from killing me then.) I sighed once more to myself.
"Anyway, let's talk about this another time," Yennora said. However, I had a feeling I probably wouldn't be allowed to sit in on that conversation.
(Still... why did this have to happen today of all days?) I muttered to myself internally. (Damn it, I'm still shaking...) It was only slight, not nearly as badly as before, but it was still noticeable.
Because I was momentarily distracted, I didn't notice Decker looking at me thoughtfully until he finally spoke up. "By the way, brat."
"Yeah?"
"You said you wanted to check out the breeder's place before, right?" He asked causing me to nod.
"I did. Why are you asking?"
"Well, once everyone's gathered, we can head over," he mused, and I could immediately tell what he was doing, even if he was trying to hide it behind his brooding persona.
He quickly paused, however, when he noticed me genuinely smiling up at him from where I sat. "What?"
"Anna was right, you really are a big softy," I said with a chuckle, causing him to growl in irritation.
"Damn brat..."