Toka regretted it as soon as she spoke, but she didn't dare to say anything more. Since the question had been asked, there was no turning back, so she could only wait for his reply.
After a long silence, it was Fang Wuwei who finally broke the dead quiet.
"My way? Do you know how I got through it back then?"
Fang Wuwei spoke abruptly, his voice devoid of emotion now.
"Back then, after my family passed away, I couldn't accept reality either. I, too, was immersed in fantasy, just like Rikka is now, but I was even more severe than her present self. At that time, I even sought death several times. I just felt that if the sky had fallen, there was no need for me to live."
Unable to extract emotion from the original body's memories, Fang Wuwei finally decided to recall the despair he felt after his sister's death in his previous life.
"At that time, I was almost completely lost, unable to escape from fantasy... Even in my dreams, I could dream that she was still by my side. Every time I opened my eyes, I hoped it was just a nightmare. I lay blankly on the bed, hoping to hear her call me to wake up, even if it was just a complaint. I also hoped to eat the food she made for me again, even if it was terribly unpalatable.
But there was nothing. Even when I lay in bed until I almost couldn't hold my urine, there was still nothing."
Even though Fang Wuwei was speaking these words expressionlessly, his gradually clenching hands showed that his heart was far from as calm as his face at that moment.
"I didn't even dare to leave the room. I was afraid that when I saw the familiar table outside, there would be no food, when I saw no familiar figure in the chair, when I saw no homework by the desk, and even, in that empty air, there was no longer that laughter that made me happy..."
Fang Wuwei's use of pronouns was very strange. He had completely pushed his mind back to his past life. Toka was so smart; she had already heard that something was off, but she didn't dare to interrupt Fang Wuwei, who was in this strange state, so she could only let him continue.
"...For a long time after that, I didn't even dare to go home. I wandered outside, didn't go to work, and just felt completely muddled. In this world, only I was left.
Until finally, my money was almost gone. At that time, I hadn't eaten for several days... I had also thought about just ending it all. Even after being rescued, this idea never changed.
But that person just told me, 'Life must go on...' Only then did I understand that my body didn't want to die...
So I forced myself to go home, cleaned up the already smelly house, and even if I took out loans and owed debts, I insisted on replacing all the furniture because I was afraid of being reminded of the past.
I got through it. What made me get through it was a hopeless life, and the continued... survival."
Or rather... I never really got through it...
Fang Wuwei sighed deeply, no longer speaking. The watermelon in his hand had been squeezed into watermelon juice, spilling all over the floor. The only motivation that allowed him to persevere at that time was revenge, but even after reincarnation, he still hadn't achieved that goal.
For him, that world was only despair, but even so, he still didn't want to...
Toka fell silent, and Grandma didn't speak either. Looking at Fang Wuwei, who was clearly not right, she understood that she had truly and cruelly torn open his already scabbed wound.
Pain and guilt washed over Toka, making her feel a bit suffocated.
"I'm sorry... I, I shouldn't have..."
"No..." Fang Wuwei interrupted Toka. His feelings were indeed complex, but the reason for his complexity was...
"Thank you, Toka... I thought I had let go, but... perhaps not. Deep down, I still refuse to accept this reality. I still refuse to accept my sister's passing... and the disappearance of that scumbag... You've made me see my present inner self clearly. Thank you..."
Fang Wuwei looked at his empty palm; even the watermelon rind had been crushed into powder by him. His inhuman strength was displayed at this moment, and his mood was not calm at all. If his mental strength hadn't become incomparable to the past, and his emotions had stabilized accordingly, perhaps he would have flown into a rage and then fled the moment Toka brought up this topic, just like... before.
He understood that even after reincarnation, he still hadn't gotten over it, just as even though he once had nothing, the reincarnated him was still unwilling to fully accept the identity of "Fang Wuwei." In a place that didn't belong to this world, he still referred to himself as "Fang Wuwei."
He was still living in the past.
The past was like a huge birdcage, trapping him within it. He was just a bird in a cage, unable to fly out. It was also like a thick fog, tightly enveloping him, unable to see a single ray of light...
"In any case... Toka, I can only tell you that the passing of a loved one is not just a temporary downpour, but a lifelong dampness. To help her get through it, she can only rely on herself..."
"Trust Yuta, Toka, and trust Rikka too. Give them some time... You're putting too much mental burden on her."
Fang Wuwei turned and left. Toka remained seated, gazing at the sky, occasionally biting into a sweet and delicious watermelon, a blockage in her heart.
This trip, Toka did not get anything she had hoped to get from Fang Wuwei. She only learned about his past, but she didn't understand exactly how he had gotten through it.
His answer was even more useless as a reference. This method of turning despair into motivation, and still being able to live such a brilliant life, probably only he could do it. Applied to Rikka, it would likely destroy her instantly.
In other words, this was a pointless question, and it just added an unnecessary layer of guilt to her heart.
But Toka didn't dare to ask him to stay. Tearing open someone's wound was already a very excessive act.
At the same time, after carefully pondering Fang Wuwei's words, she discovered something that could perhaps be called a loophole.
"Sister... I remember Yuta said Fang Wuwei was an only child?"
Back in the living room, Fang Wuwei happened to run into Nibutani, who had led the dog away. She was curious about what the two of them had done, but she keenly noticed that Fang Wuwei seemed a bit off, so she didn't ask.
However, Isshiki Makoto, who was behind her, didn't have Nibutani's carefulness. Seeing Fang Wuwei return, he eagerly asked:
"Yo, yo, Fang wuwei, we're going to the beach! Are you coming?!"
Isshiki Makoto was very excited at this moment, because... he could see Koushou's swimsuit!!!
This was just too great!
Totsuka, nearby, was sticking something on her stomach, and Koushou also looked expectant.
Facing a group of lively characters, Fang Wuwei took a deep breath. Well, compared to his previous life, in this world... he had gained friendships he never had before.
A smile appeared on his face, and he nodded heavily.
"Are you... alright?"
But the smile was too fake, so fake that Nibutani saw his abnormality at a glance. However, Fang Wuwei shook his head, indicating that she didn't need to worry. Coupled with Toka slowly approaching from not far away, and remembering that the two had gone to chat earlier, she didn't ask too many questions. She just reminded him not to overexert himself and then went with Totsuka and the other girls to change clothes.
"I'll go call Rikka and the others... Let's relax. And, I'm sorry..."
Toka passed behind Fang Wuwei, whispered something, and then went upstairs to find Rikka.
At present, she didn't dare to face Fang Wuwei. Tearing open someone else's wound, this feeling of guilt was too heavy for her. Moreover, regarding Fang Wuwei's inexplicable "sister," she also needed to ask Yuta more carefully...
And Fang Wuwei just stood there, doing nothing, saying nothing...