Celeste's POV
There was a cold chill in the air the next day. It swirled the loose snow from the ground back up in small waves, as if the snow was falling upwards from the ground. The pack grounds was beautiful this time of year. I thought the fall was gorgeous, the surrounding woods various shades of red and orange. I thought 'when the winter comes, everything will be dead and sad.' Yet, somehow, the pack seemed more alive than ever in the oncoming winter. More and more lights were strung up every day. The pups were making snow angels and throwing snow balls at one another. 'Do you remember when we used to fear the snow?' I reached to Ancillary. She has become more and more quiet these days. Part of me knows it's because I'm not alone. Part of me misses my oldest friend.
'The snow is scary when you know it'll freeze you to the bone,' she replies blandly. 'Go join them.' I pause. Join them? 'You know you want to,' she encourages.
'My arm,' I argue.
'Use your other arm.' I can practically see her rolling her eyes in my head.
"Luna!" A loud shout reaches me just as something, or rather someone, collides with my legs. I fall back, landing in not enough snow to break the fall, a groan escaping me. "Luna!" Delian gasps, leaning over me now. "Are you okay?" I reach up, wiping bits of snow from my face.
"Delian, you gotta be careful," I mumble through my teeth, pushing myself up.
"I'm sorry, Luna." She looks at me with those big blue eyes and I sigh.
"It's oka-" A ball of snow against my cheek sends me flying back down.
"Hey! No fair!" Delian stands, reaching down to make a snowball and throwing it back at the giggling pups. It takes down one of them and their giggling turns to gasps. "Luna! Luna! Help me defend the castle!" Delian gestures towards the pack house, already reaching down to form another snowball in her small hands. I sit back up, the cold seeping into my still sore ass. "Quick!" She yells as more snowballs are thrown our way.
I reach down, feeling the cold in my hands. I remember making snowballs as a pup. I remember playing with the other kids before things got bad. I remember after things got bad, making a snowball and watching it melt away in my hand. I take a deep breath, trying to hold onto the good and let go of the bad. And I form a snowball.
"Throw it Luna!" Delian throws her own, hitting one of the other pups in the shoulder. I weigh it in my hand, reaching my arm back and launching it forward with all my might. It soars right over the heads of the pups and they break into a series of taunts. Delian groans. "Luna! You missed!" She hands me a snowball she made herself. It's smaller than the one I made but it's still a snowball. I launch it, hitting a pup in the chest. They fly back and I wince, stepping forward. He bounces up, looks at me, and laughs deep from within his belly. I give a giggle, preparing my next snowball.
When I make it to Lesa's, my clothes are wet from the snow and my hands are shaking from the cold. I had left the kids to get hot chocolate from the packhouse but I promised Lesa I'd meet her for lunch and I was sure I was already running late.
Lesa opens the door, making a gesture to be quiet. "Wesley just went to sleep. I don't want to wake him." She looks tired, bags under her comforting green eyes, but a small smile graces her face.
I step in, taking off my damp coat. "Is he still not sleeping through the night?"
She shakes her head. "Not yet but I don't mind it."
"You could always come stay at the pack house for a bit. Have your village be there for you." I give it a shrug, not wanting to pressure her. Xavier heavily insisted she and Wesley spend the first month or two at the pack house and I could tell it wasn't what she wanted. I practically had to pry him out of the room that night, telling him to leave her alone.
"I love you all but I'm much more comfortable-"
"In your own home, yeah. It's okay. Just know we're always a link away."
She smiles a small smile, a gleam in her eye. "What were you up to? Your hair is soaking!" She walks to the thermostat, turning it up. I let out a breath as I hear it click on. She walks to her little open plan kitchen and I follow.
"I was recruited in a snowball fight. I couldn't let my people down." I pull out a seat at the kitchen table as she walks to the kettle.
"Tea?" I nod, thanking her. "Let me guess, Delian?"
I give a small laugh. "I would do anything for that pup, I fear."
"I hope one day you'll be the same with Wesley." She prepares our cups, leaning against the counter as she waits for the kettle to boil.
"I already would," I promise.
The kettle begins to sing and she pours evenly into the two mugs, bringing one to me. I blow gently on it, eager to sip at the earl gray she had chosen for us. "Then when can I expect you to give him a little friend?"
I cough, my cheeks going red; shaking my head as I put my cup down. "I um-" Everyone but Lesa had made congratulatory remarks on mine and Xavier's markings (of course, except Josh who teased endlessly). This was her first remark to me on it besides sly little looks she had given me. "I don't know, honestly. I still have a long way to go to being. . . better," I settle for. I don't know if 'back to normal' is an option and I don't want to count on it.
Lesa gives a small frown. "Who's to say that this isn't better now? You seem to be doing pretty okay to me." I wince. Do I? I certainly feel like I'm stuck in the same place I was when I first got back. On top of that, I've been having nightmares. Like I'm. . . there. . . again. Only this time, I can see and feel everything. Twice this week, I've woken up feeling like I'm drowning in a pool of my own blood. I think it scares Xavier too; to not be able to stop me from having these dreams. There was a point in time when being beside him was enough. Now. . .
"I still want time," I give her the short answer. "But yes, Wesley will have a little friend eventually. Maybe even two or three." The idea brings a burst of warmth to my chest. The thought of little perfect mixes of Xavier and I running around. I hope they have his eyes.
"Well don't make me wait too-"
A scream sounds from outside, interrupting Lesa. My brows furrow. "What was that?" There's more sounds too, like crashing and breaking of something. I stand, gesturing for Lesa, who sits with a look of growing concern on her face, to stay. Making my way to the front of the house, I pull back the window curtain. Blood. I gasp. A pile of blood and next to it, the writhing body of one of the pack women. She makes a sudden jolt and collapses fully on the ground. "Lesa-" She's up before I can even finish my sentence, running to the back of the house where Wesley has begun to cry.
'Where are you?' Xavier's voice flits into my head. My heart beats faster as something runs by the front of the house, too fast for me to make out.
'Lesa's- Xavier, there's. . . Oh Goddess, there's a body outside.'
'Stay there, I'm coming to you. Lock the doors, close the blinds. We're under attack.' My heart thrums in my throat, my stomach turning.
'Xavier - I sent the pups back to the pack house. They, they were playing and-'
'Josh has them. They're okay.'
"Celeste? What's happening?" Lesa gently rocks a still crying Wesley in her arms. A crash sounds just outside. I jump, my heartbeat now filling my eardrums. I'm quick to turn, closing all the blinds and locking the door. A quick glance has my eyes landing on her upholstered arm chair. I grab onto the back, dragging it to the door to block it. It brings a painful strain to my arm that I push aside. Growls and screams sound from outside.
"We need to hide." I run to her, grabbing her arm and pulling her down the small hallway. We wince at every sound outside, every rumble against the side of the small house.
"The closet," she suggests, shushing baby Wesley as he continues to cry. The chaos outside seems to only upset him further and he lets out a wail. Something bangs against the front door, not giving way yet and I jump, pushing Lesa in the direction of her room. Another bang at the front door.
'Xavier? Please tell me you're here.'
'Not yet, baby. Hang in there.'
Bile rises in my throat as I shove shirts aside to give Lesa space. The closet isn't big and I doubt I'll fit. Lesa pulls at my arm. "It's okay, it's okay." I don't know if I'm assuring her or myself. I glance around the room. "I'm going to block the door, okay? Wait in here."
"Celeste, no-"
"Lesa," I say more sternly than I've ever spoken. "I need you to get Wesley to calm down. Quiet as a mouse, okay? Both of you. It'll be okay." She takes a look at baby Wesley, who still lets out little cries here and there, and nods. I pull the shirts back over her, hoping somehow that can hide her better. I shut the door.
Lesa has a set of drawers not too far from the door. It's heavier to pull and I switch between that and pushing. I bite my tongue hard enough to draw blood, glancing at the closet door. Another bang, louder this time, sounds from outside the room. I can hear wood splintering.
Several heavy footsteps sound from out in the living room. I back up, holding my breath. They stop before they get into the hallway and I let out a breath of relief. Maybe they've gone. 'Xavier, someone was in the house. I think they left-'
'Hide for me, okay? Where's Lesa?'
'In the closet with Wesley. I won't fit.'
'Can you get to the nursery? Hide in that closet?'
'No, I blocked the door. I'd have to move the dresser back and I don't think I can manage.' My shoulder aches at the reminder. I cradle my arm to my middle.
'That's good. Stay there. I'm almost there.'
I look around, trying to decide the best course of action. It's still quiet outside in the hall. I press my ear to the wall, trying to find even the slightest bit of movement. The closet door creaks. "Celeste? Is it safe?"
"Stay in there until Xavier gets here, okay?" She nods, reaching for the door handle.
Glass shatters behind me. I let out a yelp, turning around with a hand over my eyes as glass continues to scatter into the room. I take a leap towards the closet where Wesley has begun to let out little cries, closing the door as Lesa desperately holds onto her child. Turning back towards the window, I see a bloodied hand punching out the glass. Look around Celeste, think. I dive under the bed, having nowhere else to go. I try to crawl my way as close to the front center of the bed as possible, curling my legs up to my chest.
'Xavier- help.' I want my mate, my Xavier.
'Hang in there.' There's a desperation in his voice and I know he's coming as fast as he can. He must've been at one of the borders.
'Lycer?' I try to reach through the bond he and I share. It's faint, unused. 'Lycer, I need you.'