Volume 1: Alpha-03, Chapter 1.13
The Deadliest Lifeform in the Universe Loves Me
My education and training started immediately. First and foremost, they needed to teach me about the Tritentarian Empire—all the boring, basic stuff you'd learn as a kid growing up as an Imperial Citizen. I was taught Imperial Common, the primary language they all used. The idea of learning a brand-new language—let alone an alien language right off the rip seemed like it would be quite daunting, but it turns out when you have wildly futuristic technology, it only takes a matter of days to become fluent. The language itself seemed so simple it made English seem stupid and blocky in comparison—like I was speaking in cursive when I spoke Common. But the real help was the computer systems I learned from; I wore a full helmet headset during my lessons, and it just blasted me with words over and over in a rapid-fire kind of way that seared the words and their meaning into my memory. I learned and memorized every word in their directory in a day, then it just took a few more days to blast me with grammatical lessons and how to actually converse or write in the language. It was all thanks to the headset, but in no time at all I was speaking fluent Common—no more need for digital translators for those around me.
Next, I had to learn about the differences of living in the Empire—things I'd need to adjust to. Their days were 32 hours long; separated into four eight-hour quarters, Imperial planets might all have different day/night cycles, but they all recorded time the same way. Aboard The Radiance, pretty much everyone worked the same A or B schedule that would be quite common among Imperial systems; eight hours of work, eight hours of rest, then another eight hours of work, then 16 hours of rest. You'd work that four days in a row, then get the fifth day fully off. This also meant everyone worked both days and nights during the rotation, and when I asked if people had trouble adjusting, I was told if I ever had trouble falling asleep they had sleep pods which would force me to sleep instantly and remain asleep for whatever duration I set—wished they had those back on earth when my insomnia was flaring up.
So Imperial days were 32 hours, then Imperial cycles were 10 days—they didn't measure weeks or months—and then 30 cycles made one Imperial year. Everything was recorded with Imperial cycle dates, but when I asked about things like birthdays, I was told those were all tracked through time on a person's home planet; since there was such a wide variety in each alien race's age or lifespan, it was personally recorded, not anything tracked through Imperial cycles. Someone might have three birthdays in the time another person only had one, and that made birthdays much less important overall, just something to keep track of and maybe celebrate with close friends aboard the vessel.
Food was another interesting change; so many different aliens with all their unique biologies, it would be nearly impossible to have a rotating menu of real food available safe for everyone to consume. Instead, people would take synthesized nutrients to be 'cooked' in these strange ovens where the gross, grey paste would be flavored and altered to resemble whatever custom meal someone wanted. So for me, I went to the cafeteria, got my block of grey nutrient paste, took it to an oven, looked through the earthling menu option on the computer, and then one minute later a pizza was cooked up for me. Didn't matter how unhealthy the real meal would be, the synthesized nutrients offered the perfect balance of what any organism might need, and the artificial cookers made the meal look and taste great—I could eat pizza forever and suffer no consequences to my health over it. I was told things were different on an Imperial core world—real food would await me there. But most spaceships or stations operated on pure efficiency and went for synthesized nutrients instead—and considering how great it all tasted after it was artificially cooked, it was all fine with me; I had three meals in a row of just cake and ice cream and didn't get a stomachache at all afterwards.
I also had to learn about how The Radiance was managed, what kind of crew we had, and what all our mission was. The ship was actually quite large—almost like a mobile space station, meant for stealth, infiltration, and research. There were over 300 crew members on board; a third were researchers working on all manner of projects centered around the Predazoans. A third were military types—a mix of soldiers and spies, smaller teams left frequently for investigation missions, either searching for clues on the Predazoans or trying to keep their existence a secret from pretty much everyone. And the last third were crewmembers tasked with maintaining The Radiance, including various medical staff whose job was maintaining the crew themselves.
My official title was Specialty Resource Agent, which put me under the umbrella of the research and military side of things. I was surprised about being connected with the military sector, but I was told I'd probably have to do quite a bit of field work since Eve would need to touch down on any planets we believed held other Predazoans, and I'd always need to be with Eve as her handler. As such, I would be getting a little bit of combat training amidst everything else.
The combat training was pretty simple; I was taken to a battle simulator and ran through virtual reality drills with their plasma guns and proton swords in several different scenarios. Being the avid video game player I was back on earth, I burned through their simulations in record time, earning the respect and admiration of my training officer. Of course, I had no idea how well those skills would transfer to the real world, but at least I would have Eve out there to protect me. Once cleared of my simulation tours, I was given my own plasma pistol—standard issue sidearm that used charged bolts of plasma; didn't have the fastest rate of fire, but it would rip a golf ball sized hole through just about anything up to a thousand yards, better than the Glock I still had in my go-bag from earth. And they also gave me a proton sword; it reminded me of a lightsaber but was much more realistic. The proton sword consisted of a black handle and a telescopic blade similar to those police batons back on earth, but once the black blade was extended out two feet it was charged with the proton energy and grew red hot and would cut through steel like butter. Those were the standard issue sidearms for most soldiers, and that's all I was cleared for—no fancy super futuristic railguns or laser bazookas or anything else for me.
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After my language and combat training, I spent most of my time with the Predazoan researchers; I quickly learned the initial 13 doctors I met the first day aboard The Radiance were all the heads of their departments, and I answered directly to them. It was quite astounding how quickly and openly they welcomed me into the fold; I'd expected the secret shady Empire research to be much more, well, secretive. But they said everyone aboard The Radiance had maximum security clearance for the Predazoan mission specifically. Everything was compartmentalized within the Empire, so while I was given all the information I'd ever need on the Predazoan research, that was quite literally the only research I was allowed access—the only research anyone aboard The Radiance had authorization for. Despite me just having arrived, we were all pretty much in the same boat. Made me wonder what would happen if we ever completed the mission—found and contained or destroyed all the other Predazoans; would we all get a pat on the back and a congratulations from whoever was our mysterious council benefactor, would they keep the research going with Eve or any new cloned Predazoans—or would we all get a bullet to the head as the last loose ends to be tied up? Probably best to not borrow that trouble since it was a long way off.
The researchers did their best to teach me what they could about the Predazoan project—their cellular makeup, the cloning process, the biomass and assimilation, what all these new Predazoans were capable of—but it was pretty much lost on me. I wasn't a doctor or anything, so most of the shit they said sounded like straight-up sci-fi magic to me. They wanted me informed as much as I could be since I was now so vital to their mission in retrieving the other Predazoans—or more like Eve was so vital in finding them, and I was vital in directing Eve. Still, it quickly became obvious science wasn't my strong point, so the head researchers gave me the most important bullet points, then shifted their focus to testing or experimenting on my connection with Eve.
They did blood work on me, and unlike the doctors back on earth, these aliens actually knew what they were looking for; they wanted to see if Eve had any kind of control on me—spores or toxins in my blood that would cause me to follow her commands. But just like with that earth doctor, I was completely cleared; I was totally healthy without any trace alien agents hidden in my system—the bond with Eve was genuine.
Next, they did some more tests on Eve who grew irritated any time they took blood or cells from her, like a little kid angry at a pediatrician. Her blood or cells or whatever came back clear too, nothing altered her when she came to earth they could see. Although they said she had a much higher concentration of human DNA in her core cells now; I wasn't sure why that was significant but figured it was probably just from all the humans she consumed.
The researchers were still clearly terrified of Eve and would only come into her containment cell with a convoy of soldiers in power armor and the repulser field active around us. I found the whole thing ridiculous, and usually just bounced her on my knee when they took whatever sample they needed. They also questioned us together, wanting to test our bond or see how well I could command her. They tried to communicate with her, but she always just trilled angrily at them and looked at me to translate her gibberish. Doctor Kianna found Eve quite fascinating and was one of the few researchers starting to get comfortable coming into the containment cell more frequently. As the behavioral specialist, she did the most questioning between us, finding our bond and the way we interacted as some invaluable data.
Unfortunately, despite being such a good girl, Evie was forced to always stay in the containment cell with the repulser field active. But I made sure it didn't seem like a containment cell; I made them bring in a bed and some blankets, got her some toys and even a floating TV screen that allowed us to watch earth media they downloaded while spying on us from orbit—a massive catalog of archived media data. Doctor Gorgam said they'd keep me comfortable and could replicate almost anything I still wanted from earth. They'd given me my own crew quarters too, and it was quite nice—bigger and better than my old apartment even—but Evie just about cried every time I left her alone, so I started turning the containment cell into a home away from home for me too. I couldn't take her out or anything, but I was allowed to bring food in for Evie, and even though it was synthesized nutrients, she loved the artificial chocolate as much as the chocolate back on earth.
Two cycles passed, I completed my language and combat training, was as well-versed in Predazoan science as I needed to be, and became a probationary Imperial Citizen—with a new bank account and a decent salary of Imperial credits and everything. I was fitting into my role quite well, and even made some decent friends along the way. Doctor Tillia was friendly and flirtatious, so we got along famously. Doctor Zyno was so fascinated with earth, he followed me around during most of my off hours, and I found it strangely comforting the hyper-advanced alien didn't look down on me for being some mud-man from planet dirt. I'd also kindled up a friendship with Agent Kotlokk who made it a point to apologize to me over the botched abduction and wanted to know who Agent Smith was. Apparently, the scene was extracted from my memories, but they had no idea it was from earth media; they were hoping to fool me with an illusion from my past, but since it was a scene from fiction, I broke out of the simulation far earlier than anticipated. I told Kotlokk about the movie, and he found the premise quite intriguing, so I ended up hosting an earth movie night with him and some of his buddies. So there I was, just a regular, unremarkable human hanging out watching movies with a half dozen aliens, all having a grand old time.
It made me wonder exactly why I was fitting in so well with the aliens. Was it because back on earth I had so many varied interests—jack-of-all-trades, master of none? Was it due to my medic training I was prepared to handle any kind of emergency and adapt accordingly—able to adapt to all this nonsense so quickly? Was it because I never seemed to fully fit in on earth and needed some grand adventure beyond anything humanity had to offer? Or was it because I was just so vital to this mission as Eve's handler, the aliens were trying their absolute hardest to make sure I felt welcomed and assimilating properly? Who knew the real reason, all I knew was I felt more fulfilled and satisfied than I had in a long time—like I was finally where I belonged, where I needed to be.
And where I needed to be was with my little Evie. Sure, I was excited to be some kind of space cowboy, and obviously the adventures promised to me in going from planet to planet searching for the Predazoans—going places no human could even dream of would be wonderful. But more than anything I wanted to be with Evie, to take care of her, protect her, and love her.
Before, it was me and her against the world. Now, it was her and I against the universe.
Volume 1 End