= CHRIS POV =
12 Hours Earlier
I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.
It was wrong, no matter how I looked at it.
Sarah's soft hands on my skin were too much. I bent over her, my face in the pillow next to hers. Her breath was warm against my neck, her arms wrapped around my waist in a loose, trusting hug.
"You are my best friend, the best person in the whole wide world, do you know that, Chris? I love you so much," she whispered, and my heart cracked.
What kind of scum would take advantage of someone this precious? Someone who believed in me this much, who was this vulnerable and trusting?
I bit my lip, forcing my body to obey reason, and dragged myself out of her grip. Sarah blinked up at me, wide-eyed and dreamy, her lips parted as though she couldn't quite grasp that I was leaving her side. I brushed strands of curls away from her face, and for one agonizing second, I wondered if she knew what that did to me.
Did she know that she was heaven itself, and I was made from the embers of hell?
Would she still stay… if she knew I wanted her to burn up in my fire, and drag her down into the depths of depravity, down here with me? Would she still look at me the same way, if she knew that once I took a bite…I would never, ever… let her go?
"Sasa…" I said and swallowed hard, looking away, before I looked back at her.
"You are my heart," I said softly, almost painfully, my voice trembling.
I reached down and gently pried her small hands off my back, tucking them under the sheets.
She pouted, half-conscious, and I swallowed hard against the lump forming in my throat.
"Aren't you sleepy? Don't you want to take a rest? Drift off a little?" I cooed, my hand stroking her face, brushing the hair out of her eyes, trying to be good, trying to do the right thing, trying to be kind…
My pulse was pounding. My skin felt raw where her fingertips had grazed against it. She made me melt and she didn't even know she was the only one who could; it was utter torture.
"Hmmm… that sounds nice, since you're sleeping with me," she giggled, and then, to my absolute horror, she rolled over and pressed her hand against my crotch like it was the most natural thing in the world.
I grabbed her hand and sighed, pushing it firmly down my body to my knee. If she had to remain in contact with me, it wouldn't be there.
Fuck my life.
I patted her back in the same way I had countless times before when she cried herself to sleep after breakups, and within moments, she was out cold, snoring softly. It was almost impressive how quickly she succumbed to sleep, leaving me here, half-crazed and painfully turned on.
Slowly, carefully, I peeled myself away from her grasp and replaced my body with a bolster. She immediately hugged it, pressing her face into the pillow with a small, contented sigh.
For a second my hands flexed. She had practically begged me to take her. Her body movements, her prying questions, her hints and desires. I could just…do what I fancied and tell her she wanted it in the morning.
I scrubbed my face. I was in love with her, not insane. Though the longer I lingered near her, I damn well might become both.
Also the minute she left again, that bolster was getting torched for having the privilege of being hugged by her.
I slipped out of the room and fell against the closed door, knees buckling as I hit the floor.
Straight girls are the worst.
Do they even know what they're doing? What they're saying? Does she know what she does to me?
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and without thinking, I pulled it out and scrolled through my contacts.
My body was screaming for release, my nerves frayed, and I knew exactly who could fix this on short notice.
"Hey, sweetie, need something?" Jenny's voice purred over the line after the second ring.
"Free up your day from now until midnight tomorrow," I said curtly, and then hung up.
I grabbed my keys and left the house without another thought.
The next six hours were a blur. Alcohol. Smoke. Bodies tangled together until I didn't know where I ended and Jenny began. I moaned and cried out Sarah's name by accident more than once, and Jenny didn't even flinch.
Instead, she lit a cigarette, her lips curling into a knowing smirk as I paced the room, talking in circles about Sarah.
And then we did it again.
Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was Sarah reaching for me, touching me. It drove me insane. By the time the sun rose, Jenny was sprawled across the bed, glowing with satisfaction, while I sat on the edge, my skin buzzing and my thoughts tangled.
"Let's go see her," Jenny whispered gleefully when I finally got up to go to the bathroom.
I turned back, half-dressed, my nerves still raw.
"No, that's messed up," I said, but my voice wavered.
"Why?" Jenny stretched out lazily, letting her robe fall open as she reached for her cigarette. "Doesn't she have work? It's not like she's going to be there. I mean I know Sarah, Sarah knows me. If she sees me over at your place, we can just say I was over for a friendly hand out session" Jenny grinned, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
"Besides… I just wanna fuck in her bed. If I'm gonna role play Sarah for the seven hundredth time this month, why don't we just…make this even more realistic? Do me like you wanna do her… in her bed."
My stomach twisted painfully. The way she said it, like it was some dirty fantasy made real, should have turned me off completely. But instead, her words burrowed into my brain, igniting something dark and desperate inside me.
Jenny caught my hesitation and grinned.
"Isn't it gonna be more fun if you can smell her instead of just fantasizing about her?"
I froze. My breath hitched, and Jenny saw it.
Her grin widened as she crossed the room, her pale skin glowing in the morning light. She grabbed my chin, forcing me to meet her eyes.
"Don't try to play games with me," she said, voice low and teasing. "We both know you only fuck me because I am of similar height, weight and hair color as that girl. Oh, let's not forget that it's because you can't fuck her" She said, grinning from ear to ear, ash falling from the tip of her cigarette.
Jenny released my chin nonchalantly as I glared down at her and took another drag of her cigarette.
"If I'm gonna be her stand-in actress in your fantasy roleplay, the least you can do is take me to the right stage."
She released me and walked past, her robe slipping even further as she stubbed out her cigarette on the ash tray on her bedside table.
This was a bad idea.
A very, very bad idea.
I turned and grabbed my stuff.