Another day passes, and Sirius keeps up his revitalized facade. Every interaction leaves the recipient with an uncomfortable feeling of awkwardness.
Still, time carries ever onward, and night muffles the noise of day.
Soft candlelight disperses through the silent room, and the lord sits at his desk, paperwork scattered across. Another long day has come to an end, and it's now time to unwind.
Rawlin grabs the blindfold shrouding his eyes and slides it up and past his teal hair. The tiny top hat sits firmly in place atop his head. Feeling the sweet relief, he almost sets down the cloth.
knock knock
Scrambling, the lord wraps the blindfold back around his head and locks it firmly in place. He sighs a mix of frustration and relief.
"Come in."
The door pushes open, revealing an older gentleman.
"Pardon me. Were you without your fold?"
"Welcome, Wilphrey. Think nothing of it."
"Of course, my lord." The old man closes the door behind him, leaving the two in isolation. A private conference between them begins.
"So, anything out of the ordinary?"
"No, relations with the squallers have remained stagnant. They've yet to send even a single message. Niara hasn't made an appearance either, so it is unclear if she is plotting anything."
"I see... And what of the boys?"
"Teachings are proceeding smoothly."
Rawlin twiddles his thumbs. The two sit in loud silence.
"Anything off? Do you believe they could be lying?"
"No, I don't believe so. They understand little. They have no knowledge of basic reading and writing abilities."
"No alternative motives? Any sign of aspiration for the throne?"
"I do not sense anything of the sort. Though Korlin often rambles about many things I don't understand."
"Ha," the lord chuckles. "That boy is in for a rude awakening..."
"I overheard them on the carriage ride here, and they laughed with her devoid of even an inkling of yearn. From what I could tell, they weren't aware of her position even then."
"They really must have just arrived..." Rawlin presses his fingers into his half-covered forehead. "And there's no sign now, since they know?"
"She remains in her room throughout the day, so they have little time to interact, let alone try and sway her... I don't believe either of them has such desires."
"Hm... And what of Cilas?"
"He mentioned that they have no knowledge of Lunalir's history either. They are foreigners through and through."
...
"And what of the witch? Do they know anything?"
"...I do not believe so, my lord. They have shown no sign or mention of her."
"Hm..." A brief disappointment speckles his features. "...What do you think of them, Wilphrey? Truthfully."
"I see great kindness in them, but also great despair."
"Meaning?"
"I have grown... fond of the two. They are a pleasant change of pace."
"Oh? That's quite an achievement, especially from you."
"...Perhaps so-"
knock knock
The office door creaks open.
"Raw- Er, Lord Rawlin, I just finished. About the forest..."
Aureole freezes in the doorway; she wasn't expecting to be welcomed by the stares of two men.
"Oh, sorry... Am I interrupting?"
"No." The lord motions her inside. "In fact, would you give us your opinion?"
"My opinion?" She politely enters the room and fiddles with her fingers.
"What do you think of them? Sirius and Korlin?"
"Oh! Um, I think they're very interesting."
"Is that all? Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but you and Sirius have been getting quite close, have you not?"
His words throw her off balance, and a saddened smile creeps onto her candlelit face. Her irises, reflecting the moon, drop to the floor.
"You... think so?"
"Am I wrong? Do you dislike him?" A malicious grin spreads from under his nose.
"I don't dislike him... But recently, he's been a little... off."
"Off?"
"You've seen it too, right? I mean, I haven't seen him much lately, and I enjoy his presence... But he's been acting strange... Like he's uncomfortable."
"Is he simply showing his true colors, perhaps?"
Aureole remembers their time in the capital together. How Sirius curled in her arms and cried his heart out. How he exhausted himself trying to help a girl he'd never met or knew of. She remembers his banter with Korlin, their moonlit conversation, how he acts when he's tired...
"No... That's not it... This may be presumptuous, but I believe I've seen his true colors. I think he's... scared right now. I think he's overwhelmed by all of this."
"Well, you did suddenly drag him here without permission..."
"Uh... I'm sorry. He didn't have anywhere else to stay, and I had to thank him somehow-"
The lord chuckles softly. "It's quite alright... For whatever reason you convince yourself you did it for, I still thank you."
"Thank me?"
"Mm, he... They will be valuable assets. Assuming they know as much as they're leading on."
"What do you mean...?"
The lord sinks back into his chair.
"It's gotten rather late, yes? Perhaps we can continue this another time?" No humor or light pokes through his masked complexion.
"...Right. Goodnight."
Aureole hesitantly takes her leave, forgetting what she came for in the first place. The door shuts quietly and clicks, Rawlin observing the entire exit.
...
"My lord-"
"That's enough for tonight, Wilphrey." His blindfolded gaze burns into the man. "You have a class to prepare for tomorrow, no?"
"..."
The old man bows, then departs the dimly lit room, leaving the young lord to himself.
Candlelight flickers until it sputters and dies. Cloaking the room in a quiet moon veil.
⧗⧖⧗⧖⧗
~Hyacinth~
I try not to pry into other people's business.
I isolate myself and only focus on myself. I keep my distance from the world.
It gets lonely sometimes, but I have no room to complain. Aureole and Pholy are the only ones I've attempted to communicate with. And despite the way I am, they gave me a shot.
I'm proud to call them my friends.
We may not see much of each other, despite living in the same building, but the time I spend with them is more than enough. I'm sure if we spent too much time together, they'd see me for who I am.
For the cold, lost, and forgetful person that I am.
For the lack of a person I am.
I wonder how I ended up this way...
Regardless of how, it's a fact that I am here today.
Things have been going smoothly for months now. After the sudden appearance of Rawlin, life has been surprisingly tame. I no longer have to work; I only need to go out into the capital every now and again for errands. I get to read books and research while Wilphrey and Cilas do the heavy lifting. I appreciate it, but those men get on my nerves. That is not to say I loathe them, but I have no desire to speak with them. I wonder why...
It's a quiet existence. Filled with peaceful, everlasting days.
Which leads me to him...
That day, in the capital, I went to purchase a new tomb.
The Lost History of Moor
It's a book I've always wondered about from afar. For some reason, it's always captivated me, and I felt it was time to cave in and really start digging. But alas, bookshelves are never properly sized. Should I have just grabbed a stool? Yes, but my own stubbornness never ceases to delay me.
And as if to add insult to injury, he appeared to mock my very existence. Or so I thought. The height difference between us didn't bother me, I mean, he had to stand on the tips of his own toes. Was it the gesture itself that got on my nerves? Probably.
It annoyed me. Annoyed me more than I'd felt in months. I took for granted the quiet life laid out before me and forgot how vulnerable I am. How susceptible to irritation I am.
It's as if an instinct deep inside me activated and grimaced at the kind boy. Why... He helped me, but I felt no gratitude. I felt disgusted both with him and myself. Why...
I don't understand myself.
My voice is soft. Quiet. Speaking up is hard, and yelling is hard to even imagine myself doing. So, he must not have heard the weak "Thank you" I whispered.
Regardless, I never thought I'd see him again, so it didn't matter. I forgot about the instance and him as soon as I opened the book that night. Its wisdom flooded my mind and washed away the day.
So, when he was walking through the halls that day... It surprised me.
I've never cared about how others perceive me. If someone hates me, that's that. Oh well. I've probably always been this way.
But for some reason, I felt like I owed him an apology. The boy himself looked shocked to see me, too, and I was sure he held some resentment. But instead of apologizing or even introducing myself, I swiftly retreated into my room.
What came after the encounter was even more surprising.
The other boy, being overly loud per usual, made some stupid comment. And then, from behind the door, I overheard the boy from the bookstore say he remembered me. I was sure he'd curse my earlier transgression, but instead, he simply made a joke of it and carried on.
It seems he holds no grudges. Or maybe he's just indifferent to everything, much like me.
Maybe he's also a void.
It was fascinating, for a moment. But I soon realized I was thinking way too much of my actions. Why would someone stress over the look a stranger gave them? Why was I stressing over the look I gave a stranger? Neither of those things matter.
I almost wanted to thank him for that. Thank him for allowing me to feel this strange sensation. These complex thoughts that aren't based on a single, stagnant emotion.
But, at the same time, I wanted to curse him. Why did he make me so self-conscious? It's so much easier to think about anything other than myself.
I planned to avoid him. Why was he even here in the first place? It didn't matter, he'd probably leave soon anyway...
Then came the first house meeting in months... The last time we all sat in a room like that was when Rawlin first showed up. That feels so long ago...
Aureole.
She's been my best friend for the better part of the last year, or however long it's been since she arrived. Ever since she immediately accepted me with that warm embrace of hers...
At first, her hugging irritated me. Why are you being so touchy? Why are you so willing to be friends? Thoughts such as these plagued my mind for those first couple of weeks.
I have yet to find answers to many of those questions. But that night... when I cursed her... She cried in my arms. Desperately wanting to be held...
How could she possibly become queen?
In that moment, those depriving thoughts of mine ceased. For the first time, I saw who she was. And when she was done, she allowed me to spill my own heart out...
I hadn't told anyone any of that before... And yet, she accepted all of it. She embraced me in her arms and mind. And I didn't want her to stop. I still don't. I want to keep being her friend.
She's amazing. It's just that sometimes... She gets a little... ahead of herself.
She told us that she brought those two boys in. I couldn't help but express my confusion and unease. She was so happy to announce it, and yet I almost soured her stride.
Thankfully, without missing a beat, Pholy hopped in and started bantering with the other boy.
Pholy.
In a similar sense to Aureole, at first, I wasn't a fan of Pholy's personality. I don't think she was fond of mine either. Since the moment I met her, she has always been her fervent self. And her sense of humor lends itself nicely to someone with an upbeat attitude, not one like mine.
Yet, through a miracle, Aureole drew us closer together. I learned how fun it is to tease her. I learned her triggers, her weaknesses, and she learnt mine.
In terms of friends, I am truly blessed.
It made me feel fuzzy inside when I realized she found a kindred spirit. That other boy and her bickered like they'd known each other for centuries. I couldn't help but join in on teasing her. That feeling felt so... familiar.
Pholy seems to be openly emotional with that boy. She lets her flames rise with hardly any hesitation. She hasn't done such a thing since I first met her... We... really didn't get along back then. I'm so glad that has changed...
Then, Rawlin arrived at the scene. I hadn't seen him in weeks. Almost immediately, he began accusing the boy from the bookstore, whose name I learned to be Sirius. He accused Sirius of being a threat to Aureole's candidacy.
It was then that I grew suspicions of my own. Was it really a coincidence that I'd seen him at that bookstore?
But I also saw how worried he was. Not worried about being caught, but a fear of not being accepted. So, when Rawlin asked if I trusted them, I saw no reason to say no.
Sirius gently smiled at me, and for some reason, I smiled back.
...
The next day, he appeared in my doorway. Unfortunately for him, I was in the middle of my research, so I wasn't the most kind. Yet, the next thing I knew, he was thanking me. Such a needless display of gratitude... Not that I'm one to talk...
So, I avoided the subject and told him how it is. He's trapped here, whether he likes it or not. Rawlin has been searching far too long for Witch Spawn like Sirius and his friend. As for the why, I have no idea. I've never cared to ask.
I will say, though, that Witch Spawn are nothing like I envisioned. I've read about them in bedtime stories and folklore that say they're drowning in death and spread misfortune wherever they go. But in reality, they're just normal people. Right?
I didn't want to depart from my studies, but the boy's blatant anxiety told me I needed to distract him. I have no idea why Rawlin assigned me to help them learn how to do chores. I haven't done them since the second day he arrived...
I made their tour quick, since I had to keep reading. That other boy was quite the hindrance... Though I can tell he has an affection for Pholy. That makes me both happy and worried for her.
After continuous questioning, I led them to my room. I think Sirius has figured out my knack for reading and used it against me. The other boy continues to be a question mark, I mean... Why was he somersaulting in my room?
A mirrored scene to the one from the bookstore transpired, and when given the chance, I let him hear my thanks. Though it's embarrassing that this happened twice. I'm not even the short one, Pholy is...
I returned to my book and waited until they eventually left. Everything seemed normal...
I don't know when it changed or if I was just blind before, but that boy, Sirius, is acting odd. It was already apparent at breakfast, but then I ran into him in the hallway. His movements were frantic and overly animated. He donned a rigid smile, but his eyes told me everything I needed to know. He was more apologetic than usual and was carrying around a strange book.
My suspicions of him grew. What is inside that journal? Is he really not who he appears to be? Is he even a Witch Spawn? What of the other boy?
Too many questions. I try not to pry into other people's business. I don't usually care about these sorts of things.
But if they are opposed to Aureole's pursuit of the throne, I can't just stand back and pretend not to watch.
Ever since I woke, I've had a hard time trusting people for some reason. I've tried to keep to myself without really knowing why. Maybe I was always like this. Maybe my whole self was the same as my current self. Who knows?
Regardless...
It's suspicious, isn't it? Too convenient.
This random guy I met in a bookstore, somehow ending up where I live... And he just so happens to be affiliated with Aureole? She was only gone a few days in the capital. That's not enough time to ask a random person to live with her.
I know she's desperate. But she can't be that desperate.
He had to have manipulated her.
I consulted Aureole about this, but she refuted the notion entirely. She simply restated what she had said during the meeting. He saved her, and she wanted to thank him. Something more must have happened. She complimented him, saying how sweet and easily funny he can be... How he's vulnerable, but will do anything to help others.
It got on my nerves.
I snoop around the corner to find Sirius gleefully conversing with Pholy. She looks uncomfortable. They both do. If you don't want to be here, leave.
This is my chance.
I take the long way around the halls and make my way to Sirius's room. Thankfully, it is unlocked, and I sneak my way inside. He didn't appear to have the book on him, so it must be around here somewhere.
Dark leather with a strap... I think there was also a ribbon.
The room has the same basic layout as mine, so I know all the ins and outs. His bed doesn't look slept in; it's not made either. The new clothes he got are piled in the corner. Why is he wearing that one-sleeved shirt?
I check the bathroom connected to his room. Nothing is out of the ordinary, except for some carvings on the mirror. Two eyes and a mouth, smiling. Did he carve a smiley face into the mirror? Is he insane?
Or am I thinking about this all wrong?
Maybe he's actually just an overly happy person. Kind and understanding... If that's the case... We're complete opposites.
And if that really is the case... I would feel bad for snooping. But I don't. He's suspicious, and I can't have him harming Aureole or her image. He is also making Pholy uncomfortable, that alone is its own sin.
I make my way over to the desk and slide open the top drawer.
There it is.
I unlatch the strap and open up to the first page.
...What is this language?
I can't read a single sentence, and the writing itself is completely horizontal. This should be a crime. I came to find secrets, not to build up more questions. I could take this to my room and try deciphering, but he'd definitely notice.
I flip through the pages, searching for any pictures. Apart from some random sketches, only one thing catches my eye. Twelve rectangles are dispersed across three pages, all with around thirty boxes. A few boxes are circled, and some have tiny words written inside.
What is this? A countdown? A hit list? Is he really hiding something?
Before I can come to a logical answer, the door suddenly creaks open.
A shot of fear and adrenaline pulsates through my body.
Please don't be him. Please don't be him. Please don't be him...
It's him.
~Sirius~
"What are you doing?"
I must say, it's oddly embarrassing to walk in on a girl in your own room. I'm not sure why, it's not like there's anything in here to hide... Except for maybe the bathroom mirror... that'd be hard to explain. I can't even explain it myself.
"Uh- Nothing!" She slams my journal closed.
Was she trying to read it? Why? It's in a different language, so I doubt she could understand anything. Is she... Is she trying to get dirt on me-
You're forgetting to smile.
...
"Are you curious?" I ask kindly. It would be rude of me not to tell her what's inside.
"...I suppose."
Her soft-spoken way of speech reminds me of a lost kitten. The only counter to that assessment... is the glaring sense of agony lying beneath it. At least from what I can tell.
I'm good at reading people.
I stroll over and she hands me the journal without resistance. Is she being cautiou-
...
She must be very curious.
"You can't read this, right?" I do my best to act friendly. Why am I getting frustrated?
"Mm."
Finally. A chance to show someone how amazing I can be.
I'll show her who Sirius is meant to be. Not that fraud from before.
I turn the pages, explaining each one as I go on. I tell her my understanding of nem, of temperature and age conversions, of my discoveries of the daylight system and Lunalir... But she doesn't seem interested.
"What about these?"
She takes ownership and slips halfway through the book, landing on the pages I've written at night.
"Oh, don't worry about those-"
"What do they say?"
My frustration boils up... No, not frustration...
Fear.
If I don't answer her, she will think poorly of me. She won't see me for who I am... How great I can be... How honest and perfect I am.
"Well... These are just some fragments of my past that I've jotted down."
At this, her amethyst eyes squint. Is she mad at me? What did I say??
"..."
"I don't know why, but I keep writing down memories and facts about myself. Knowing I'll lose these memories in my head, I feel like I need to store them somewhere... So they can never really disappear."
"What do you mean?" Her ears perked up upon hearing the word "memories." Her air has a sense of urgency.
"Well, I am a human, so you know..."
"Know what?"
She doesn't know. I guess it's really not common knowledge that people have of Witch Spawns. I mean, it's understandable... Why would the Witch of Death create a being with waning memories? It's foolish to even think of. But regardless, it's fact that the people of this world have many misconceptions about humans. Or rather, they have a lack of information about them. But then... how did Rawlin know?
"My memories are fading away."
"You're losing your memories?" She's suddenly very intrigued. Her tone carries a sense of... panic.
"I am. In less than a year's time, when this timer reaches zero..." I hand her my beating stopwatch. Seriously, why is that thing so loud? "All the memories of my past life will disappear."
"..." She freezes. Stone cold like a statue. A single flick to the forehead would probably shatter her into pieces.
"Are you alright?" I ask, in the nicest tone possible. I need to stop slipping up.
I tap her gently on the shoulder. She jolts abruptly.
"Oh- Yes... I'm alright." She shakes her head, clearing out whatever daze she's in. She sets down the watch and starts flipping through the pages of the journal. Her hands are so small compared to the pages. "Was your old life great? Will you... miss it that much?"
"...Probably not, I don't have many fond memories." Shit. Why is it so hard to act like this in front of her? My smile is wearing down. I pray she doesn't notice.
"...Then why are you so hung up on it? Wouldn't it be nice to forget?"
...
Maybe it would be... But... I can't say that. It's not right for me to want to forget.
"I..." I laugh off my indecisiveness. What am I supposed to say? What do I do in this situation? "Maybe, but I still have an obligation to not forget."
"Obligation?"
"My mom, my dad, my brother... What would they think if I forgot them?"
"Does it matter?"
...
"Of course it does. They're my family. They're important to me."
"...Are they?"
...
...What is she saying? Of course, they are... They're family... I need them to be important to me. I should care about them, shouldn't I? That's not wrong. That's how I should think.
"Yes..."
"...Would it be so bad to live without your old memories?" Who is this girl, anyway? What's with all these questions?
"It'd be scary..."
"So, you're just going to write down everything in here? What good will that do you? You'll just forget, and everything written here will sound like nonsense."
"You don't know that..."
"..."
"..."
Why... is it so hard to smile?
"Tell me, is this how you acted back in your old world?"
Right now? How I'm acting?
Well, I've fallen right back into my own trap, so... Yes.
"It is."
"..."
Come on, answer. Say something. Don't you like this version of me? Aren't I better this way?
She continues flipping through until landing on the calendar I drew.
"What is this?"
I blink my eyes until they strain. Stop being like this. Be normal.
This isn't meant to be an act; it's me. Me.
I put on the best smile I can muster.
"That's the calendar from my homeland. It has all the months and days laid out."
"Oh... Calendar... There are a lot of days."
I proceed to explain to her the main differences between Earth's and Mirgaia's calendars. I flip between my notes from Alzir and the calendars I drew. It would be easy if I had the actual calendars Alzir gave us, but I think Korlin has them in his room. I could go ask him for them, but... For some reason, I don't want to talk to him.
Hyacinth listens, paying attention to everything I say. Ever since memories were brought up, she's been extra attentive. Is she secretly pitying me? Or maybe-
"What are these?" She points to the days I've circled and noted on.
"Ah, that's the day I died and was reborn into this world. In other words, it's when I became a Witch Spawn."
March 9th
I still get nightmares of that night.
Recently, I haven't been able to sleep. Every time I try to it feels like I'm strapped to that hospital bed again. I feel the crushing weight of a truck and forget to breathe.
It's terrifying.
Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I open them and find myself back on Earth. As if I'm right back in those classrooms. Right back in my car, driving from soccer to my dad's house. Right back pretending to be friends with people. Right back in my bedroom, doing nothing with my time.
Right back hating everything again.
"...Reborn, huh?" Melancholy plagues her. "What about this one?" She directs her finger to another circled mark a month or so down.
"Oh, that's my birthday."
April 17th
I sound nonchalant, but that day is the bane of my existence. Nothing more, nothing less.
"Birthday..."
"Haha, yeah... I'm not the biggest fan of them." I need to divert this attention off of myself. I can't let her notice. My heart is beating out of my chest. "What about you?"
"I don't know..."
"A-ah... I get it. They're not always the best of days. I barely even remember any of mine." I curl my cheeks up into a pleasant grin. "When is your birthday?"
"I don't know..."
Melancholic. That's the only word that comes to mind. That's not the reply I was expecting... She must have a pretty messed-up past to not know her own birthday.
"...Um-"
"Sorry." She rubs her eyes with her sweater's sleeve. "I'm going to borrow these."
Before I can react, she rips out the three pages of my Earthen calendar and sets the journal aside. She begins retreating, an aimful and apologetic look upon her face.
"Um, what-"
"Sirius."
Her tone is frigid. If I were to take one step, I would probably freeze over. She stands in my doorway, facing out towards the hall.
"Y-Yes?"
In a complete one-eighty of tone, her sound softens. And with more emotion than I've ever heard her muster, she mutters nine numbing words.
"You and I are more alike than I thought."