"..cie… Gracie… Gracie!"
Gracie was suddenly shaken out of her memories.
In a daze, her eyes unconsciously rolled upwards and saw a familiar face covered in familiar yet unfamiliar wounds. It was Carter.
Carter breathed a sigh of relief once he saw that Gracie had come back to her senses. She nearly made his heart jump out of his chest when she gave no response no matter how many times he called her. He wanted to be a gangster, not a murderer!
"Are you okay?"
Carter asked with concern as he helped the jelly-like Gracie up from the floor.
Gracie wobbled a bit unsteadily on her feet. Luckily, Carter was there to catch her or else she would've fallen back onto her butt.
"...I'm fine," Gracie replied after a moment of silence while the dizziness faded.
"That's good." Carter breathed out a sigh of relief. It would be terrible if something happens to this girl and he is responsible.
"Sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bump into you!" After breathing a sigh of relief, Carter immediately bowed his head and apologized, nearly kneeling down if not for Gracie's quick reaction in stopping him.
Gracie was speechless at how… flexible Carter was. Normal people with a sense of shame and pride would never easily kneel down to someone, even if they are the one in the wrong.
Although her trauma was triggered because of him, she couldn't help but be moved by his sincerity.
She easily forgave him. After all, it was an accident and he didn't mean to hurt her or cause her to remember those unpleasant memories.
"I'm sorry that I bumped into you so hard that your soul flew out!"
…She kinda wants to take back that forgiveness.
But then looking at that sincere and honest expression on that gangsterly face, the unexpected, contrasting gap softened her heart.
Eventually, Glacie said, "I forgive you. Don't run around in hospitals in the future."
Gracie paused, recalling something. She added, "In fact, I have to thank you for helping me last time. At school."
Carter straightened up and smiled brightly. He said, "Oh, that? That was nothing. I'm happy to help someone in need. No sweat." He grinned as he patted his chest.
As a steadfast fan of loyal and righteous gangsters, Carter truly believed it to be his duty to help those in need, especially the weak.
That was why, a few days ago, when Carter saw the unconscious Gracie lying on the ground, without any hesitation, he took her to the school infirmary.
Of course, he believes it is also his duty to fight against those unruly and trouble-making gangsters who break the peace.
Manl and his cohort being one of them.
Though, he has never won against them.
He'll keep trying until he does!
So what if he's knocking his head against a wall. He doesn't believe the wall won't break under his persistence!
"By the way, why were you passed out on the ground that day?" Carter looked at Gracie with a puzzled expression, his emotions all honestly laid out on his face. He had a pair of snake-like eyes, green and with vertically slit pupils. His canine teeth poked out of his mouth whenever he smiled and his lips lifted.
His face resembled a mischievous snake. Who would have thought that his heart was full of yearning for justice and loyalty in friendship?
In his case, one learns that one should not judge a person by their appearance.
Carter's unintentional question made Gracie tense up. She stiffly turned her neck and averted her eyes.
Clearly this was a sensitive topic and she did not want to talk. But Carter didn't get it.
He continued to pester her for an answer, curiosity shining in his green eyes. His slit pupils dilating with his emotions.
Because he had left right after bringing Gracie to the infirmary, he didn't get to find out what happened to her from her.
Now that he happened to encounter her, he remembered that incident and asked out of convenience and curiosity.
He didn't think that his harmless question would hurt someone.
Looking into his sparkling and eager eyes, Gracie felt calmed somehow.
Maybe it was because the other had helped her once when she was in distress, but she felt like she could open up to him. At least a little of her past.
A few days ago, after Gracie fainted due to stimulation by the bullying incident and was forgotten by the people involved, she was helped by Carter who kindly carried her to the school infirmary.
Upon seeing the unconscious girl in Carter's arms, the school doctor's first reaction was that she was Carter's victim. Then her second reaction vetoed the guess of her first reaction.
Although Carter loves to fight and gets injured every other day, after being acquainted with him for so long, the school doctor knows that he's not a bad kid.
In other words, the unconscious girl being carried in a princess-carry style by Carter should not be the victim of the latter's fight.
Reaching that conclusion, the school doctor secretly heaved a sigh of relief and then quickly went to check on the girl.
After a thorough check, the school doctor gave the result: perfectly healthy, fainted due to overstimulation.
"Great! I almost thought she had gotten knocked out by someone!" Carter said in a loud voice.
"..." The school doctor was speechless. "Do you think everyone is like you, looking for a fight?"
Speaking of fights, Carter suddenly jumped up at the school doctor's words.
"I almost forgot!" He exclaimed as he stood up from his chair next to Gracie's bed. "I scheduled a fight with someone today. Bye, Doctor Su, I'm leaving!"
Without waiting for the school doctor Ms. Su to speak, Carter ran out of there like the wind.
"..."
Doctor Su laughed and shook her head in exasperation and amusement.
Walking backwards a few steps, Doctor Su inadvertently glanced at the girl sleeping soundly on the infirmary bed.
"He…" She laughed. Not knowing what she is thinking of, she laughed again, "Hehehe."
"Carter, that boy, I don't remember him ever seeing a girl in trouble and helping them before." She mused to herself, recalling a past incident she had stumbled in on before where a girl had pretended to fall and hurt herself and Carter walked right past her without even a glance.
Doctor Su looked at the girl on the bed and then at the door Carter had left through. A mysterious, ambiguous smile appeared on her lips.
Not long after Carter left, Gracie woke up.
She came to with a fuzzy mind. She saw the school doctor and asked how she got here.
Doctor Su answered crisply with a strange smile that Gracie didn't understand, "It was Carter who brought you here. Remember to thank him."
Although Gracie was puzzled by the unknown meaning of the weird smile on the school doctor's face, she nodded as a matter of course.
Which is what led Gracie to express her gratitude to Carter today.
And perhaps… maybe, just maybe, the reason why Gracie suddenly got the urge to share her past with someone. Even though she had been so reluctant to even think about her past when she was with her psychologist.
She breathed in and out, slowly and deeply.
Her red hair finally regaining its luster and fire-like manner. Her green eyes shone with a determination to get over her trauma.
She pried up her trembling lips with sheer will and belief, spilling out everything that has been haunting her
***
"I see," Carter said after hearing everything Gracie had to say. He was rarely quiet and thoughtful for once.
Gracie was silent as she gave Carter time to digest everything she said.
As she waited for his reaction, this brave girl who is full of justice and fairness couldn't help but get uncharacteristically nervous.
This was, after all, the first time she had come clean to someone about the feelings eating away at her. Not to mention that they were really, really unpleasant, bloody memories.
She had spilled her trauma, her guilt, and her actions of redemption all to this boy she had never known before the infirmary incident.
She still didn't know what came over her. Nor did she know if she regretted it.
Her hands felt clammy as she clenched them tightly together.
It was as if she was waiting for a verdict. Of her guilt or innocence.
Her heart was immersed in darkness, no trace of light could break in.
Carter knew none of the above. He was still seriously thinking.
Clap!
The sound of palms slapping together sounded like a bang in the empty hallway of Hospital A, snapping Gracie out of her nerve-wracking thoughts.
"Easy! Don't worry. You may have had ulterior motives in your actions, it's also true that you stood up to those unrighteous delinquents for others. You can't discredit yourself just because you did it out of guilt and self-blame," Carter said to comfort Gracie. "A person being selfish in a way that's selfless is not seen as selfish by the onlookers."
It was hard to imagine that a gangsterly guy like Carter could actually comfort girls. His naturally mischievous-looking face did little to make him look trustworthy.
Yet for reasons unbeknownst to even herself, Gracie did find him trustworthy enough to spill her heart out to him.
Thinking back to her sudden impulse made the outgoing girl blush.
At the same time, Carter's words made Gracie relax from her nervous state of mind.
Carter was not finished with his words quite yet. He continued, almost in a rant, "If I had experienced what you experienced, instead of dwelling on all these useless emotions, I would beat up the guys that made me traumatized! Including that Vic person! Although he was a victim, his mindset became too twisted in the end. He not only took revenge on those who bullied him, he also blamed his sufferings on everyone else! If he had taken action earlier or stood up for himself, he might have prevented his death and prevented himself from being bullied by others. If he had toughened up before he went astray, he might not be bullied anymore. Yet he took that courage and guts to pull everyone around him with him to the bottom of the cliff without examining himself and seeing his own faults in the matter. He blamed everything on everyone else! It's not your fault, Gracie!"
It's not your fault, Gracie!
It's not your fault…
Those words echoed in her blank mind, like a broken record.
"It's not my fault…" Gracie muttered to herself in a daze.
A beam of light pierced into the endless sea of darkness in her heart.
Maybe she had always wanted someone to tell her that.
Gracie suddenly whimpered, and crystal clear drops slid down her fair cheeks uncontrollably.