The Neitherlands.
Commonly known as the crossroads between worlds, dimensions, and universes. A place of endless fountains, each a gateway, each a trap, each a confusing, magical riddle in stone and water.
For first-timers, it could be overwhelming. But for Quentin… it was just weird.
"Why the fuck," Quentin blurted, pointing at a fountain, "is there a squirrel holding an acorn statue over there?"
Kai turned, saw it, and deadpanned, 'Holy shit is that…'
"Ah, yes. The great cosmic tribute. I would have expected to also see a mammoth, a sabertooth, maybe even a sloth. But hey, we can't all have what we want, can we?"
Margo snorted. "Wait. You're telling me that was your expectation? A prehistoric Disney flick cast reunion?"
Eliot, already sipping from his flask, squinted. "The squirrel looks fragile. Like, one tap and poof dust."
Kai scoffed. "Please. That's no fragile squirrel. That's a planet-scale remodeling squirrel. Blink wrong, and you've got a new tectonic plate."
Penny looked at then wonder what the fuck they were on about…
"Careful," Kai added after a while. His tone shifted into something more serious now. "This place isn't our usual playground. There could be danger and some unexpected guests we'd need to worry about."
Julia arched a brow. "Uhhh… but aren't we the guests?"
Alice nodded.
"Details, details," Kai muttered.
---
A few hours earlier
They'd finally settled on their destination: Fillory. It was time to go hunting and hopefully they get to catch and cook a beast for all it is worth. But not without caution. The infamous button underwent cleansing spells, detection spells, re-cleansing spells until even Kai groaned.
"To make sure it wasn't tampered with," Alice explained primly.
"Or cursed, we don't want to end up in another apocalyptic situation," Julia added.
Kai sighed. "Nothing says trust like a magical strip search."
In the end, they joined hands and touched the button.
Alicia, however, chose not to go. She wanted time for herself, to settle into Brakebills without being dragged across dimensions again so she had excused himself.
As she left, Alice murmured, "Maybe it's for the best. If she came along, the button might've malfunctioned."
Kai frowned. "Malfunctioned?"
Alice explained, "She's from another reality. The magic could've deported her. Or worse."
Penny groaned. "Or worse? That's comforting."
---
They landed in the Neitherlands with a splash, wet and dripping like sailors tossed overboard.
Alice dried herself first, muttering a small spell, then cast a spell to dry the rest of them.
"Thank you," Quentin said, wringing his shirt.
Kai shook his head. 'At least the three wrinkled old hags didn't mess with me this time.' He scowled at the thought of the fates. "Those bitches must've done it for fun last time."
Before he could say something else, Kai's head snapped toward movement in the distance. Vampiric senses sharpened multiple heartbeats, rushing closer.
"Cloaking spell. Now," he ordered.
They cast one of the spells Julia had taught, the Invisique spell, their forms blurring into nothing. The searchers who all wore hooded outfits swept past them searching around before the left to another fountain.
Once clear, the group exhaled and dropped the spell again.
---
Quentin unfolded a map. "Uhh, right we need a fountain with two ram heads, Ember and Umbers seal. It's the gateway to Fillory."
Kai raised a brow. "Oh sure. In this labyrinth of endless identical fountains, that'll be easy. Why not ask for the one guarded by the Easter Bunny while we're at it?"
Quentin ignored him, scanning around. His eyes caught on the acorn-squirrel fountain.
————
Now
Kai spotted another fountain nearby, a fountain with the statue of Anubis on it.
Kai was about to say something when Penny moved and said "Alright listen we…" A latch opened beneath his feet as he just as he was about to say something.
"Shit!" Kai snapped, rushing forward.
Margo cursed. "Can't he just teleport out?"
Quentin shook his head. "Not without directions. He could end up anywhere in another dimension or another universe "
Kai interrupted. "He's in the library."
Alice blinked. "The library? As in—"
"The multiversal library yes," Kai said with a straight face which then morphed into a small smile. And before anyone could stop him, he jumped in after Penny, smiling like an idiot.
Julia shook her head. "Childlike behavior, I swear." And moved over to jump in as well.
Eliot blinked. "She's really doing this?"
Julia shrugged before vanishing down the chute.
Alice and Quentin exchanged looks. Then followed.
Margo groaned. "Well, if everyone's committing to group suicide…"
Eliot sighed, flask in hand, and leapt after her.
---
They landed in a vast, endless hall of shelves. Silence hummed through the air as the all looked around them in shock at seeing the sheer size of the place. Then they heard footsteps.
A tall woman emerged, glasses perched neatly on her nose. She moved with strange theatricality, hands raised like a certain pirate captain. She stopped before them.
"You're late," she said coolly.
Penny scowled. "Who the fuck—"
She smiled sweetly. "Ah. William. You always ask the same questions. Adorable."
Eliot leaned toward Margo. "Okay. Who is this bitch?"
Margo whispered back, "Your future librarian dominatrix, apparently."
The woman straightened. "I am a member of the Order. Keeper of the Libraries of the Neitherlands. The greatest repository of knowledge. Full stop."
Her gaze swept them. "Alice. Julia. Quentin. Eliot. Janet. You're all late."
Margo blinked. "Who the fuck is Janet? Lady, I'm Margo."
Finally, the woman's eyes landed on Kai. She stepped close, studying him.
"Oh. And you. The anomaly."
Kai smirked. "Right. Malachai Parker. But I prefer Kai."
Her eyes twinkled. "Peculiar. Very peculiar." She giggled with unsettling delight.
Julia frowned.
Margo muttered, "Is she giggling at him?"
Eliot snorted. "Looks like it."
Quentin rolled his eyes.
The librarian composed herself. "If you wish to remain, there are rules. One: no harm to the books. Two: no food, no drink, no intoxicants."
Kai raised a brow. "Sure thing, Zelda."
She tilted her head in confusion at him knowing her name. "You are… fascinating."
When she left, the others turned to Kai.
"How'd you do that?" Penny asked.
Kai tapped his temple.
Penny frowned. "Weird. I can't get in her head."
Kai smirked. "That's because we're not the same." He scanned the shelves. "Let's get moving."
---
Later, Julia and Kai found themselves in a quiet section, alone among the books.
Julia's voice was soft. "Was it really that bad? Over there?"
Kai paused, then nodded once.
She sighed. "I can't imagine what it must've been like for her. All alone."
Kai's gaze dropped. "Alicia's strong. Stronger than most. She held on when most would've broken. All she needed was someone to remind her it wasn't all just… shit."
Julia picked up a book, eyes flicking over the cover. "Mmm. Is that why you fucked her?"
Kai froze. Closed his eyes. Opened his mouth to respond—
Julia stepped close. "Shhhh. Don't."
Her eyes burned into his. "She told me everything. Do you think I'm angry?"
Kai swallowed. "…Aren't you?"
Julia chuckled, low and dangerous. "No. The opposite infact."
Kai blinked. "What?"
"She told me what happened. She told me how much she needed that and what she might feel for you now. And… we sort of came to an agreement you see." Julia's lips curled into a smile. "We both get to have you."
Before Kai could process, she leaned in, kissed him softly, and whispered:
"Just don't neglect me completely."
She pulled away, leaving him stunned.
Kai stared after her, whispering:
"Hollllllyyyyyyyy—"
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