For the first time in what felt like weeks Quentin wasn't buried under planning, divine fallout, or the lingering threat of being casually erased from existence by something with a god complex.
And somehow, that made everything worse. He sat in the physical kids cottage along with Alice. The sunlight spilled through one of the many windows of the cottage, Quentin leaned against the soft chair with his arms crossed and his thoughts spiraling in familiar, questioning loops.
Gods.
Specifically, that god.
The fox god had been… how to put it politely, an absolute disaster. A literal deity with near-limitless power and instead of doing anything remotely useful, he'd chosen suffering. Manipulation. Pain. Like it was a hobby.
It didn't make sense.
None of it did.
"How," Quentin muttered, mostly to himself, "does something that powerful just… choose to be that awful?"
Alice glanced at him but didn't interrupt. She'd learned when to let Quentin spiral.
"They're not like the books," he went on, frustration bleeding into his voice. "They're not wise, or distant, or even neutral. They're just…" He exhaled sharply. "Petty, cruel and somehow people still worship them. Like, why the hell would anyone pray to something that clearly enjoys screwing us over?"
He raked a hand through his hair. "And then the rest of them get dragged down with the same reputation, like divinity itself is just another excuse to be a monster."
Then a voice drifted in from behind them, amused and smooth.
"Careful now," the voice said. "At that rate, you'll have wrinkles by your mid-twenties or just might get smote by one of those so called gods."
Quentin stiffened and Alice turned first.
Kai stood a few feet back, utterly relaxed, holding a blood bag like it was a juice pouch. He raised it in a mock salute, crimson liquid sloshing slightly inside.
"Wow," Quentin said flatly. "You just… appear now? After trapping a god a few days ago?"
"Well I do appear only when it's dramatically appropriate," Kai replied, taking a long pull from the bag.
Alice stepped closer, eyes narrowing just a fraction. "Hey."
Kai smiled at her. "Alice."
He finished the blood bag, then flicked it casually into the air. It never hit the ground as it disintegrated into golden wisps, evaporating like sunlight burned through it mid-flight,
Then he looked thoughtful.
"Tell me something," Kai said, turning to Alice. "What do we call a situation where we intentionally pit two selfish, self-absorbed individuals against one another, knowing full well they'll destroy each other in the process?"
Alice blinked, glanced at Quentin, then back at Kai.
"…Mutually assured destruction?" she offered.
Kai's smile widened. He nodded approvingly. "Exactly."
Quentin frowned. "Okay, that's deeply concerning. And who exactly are these two individuals?"
Kai ignored the question and Instead, he clapped his hands together once, sharp and decisive. "Tell me, Q, how do you feel about some clock shopping?"
Alice frowned immediately. "Clock… shopping?"
Quentin stared at him. "What does that even mean?"
Kai tilted his head. "Let me guess. The first portal ever opened is still open, right?"
Quentin's eyes widened slightly. "You mean—"
Quentin swallowed. "The Chatwin clock?"
Kai snapped his fingers. "There it is."
"Well, yeah," Quentin said slowly, "but we don't actually know where it—"
He stopped and thought back for a moment then sat upright as something occured to him, "Oh my god," Quentin whispered. "I saw it."
Alice turned sharply. "You what?"
"The first portal," Quentin said, excitement and disbelief crashing together. "Julia and I we saw it before Brakebills. We didn't know what it was at the time because there a murder… staged murder I mean, but holy shit what if that really was it?"
Kai's eyes gleamed as he hopped up onto the chair. "Well then," he said lightly, "I suppose it's time we find out."
He pointed at both of them. "You're coming with me."
Quentin blinked. "Where?"
Kai didn't hesitate. "Vancouver." Alice stared at him with a questioning look, "Why Vancouver?"
Kai jumped back up with his hands in his pockets. "Because that's where we'll find one of Fillory's creators."
Quentin's face paled. "Ember?"
Kai shook his head. "Nope."
Quentin looked surprised as another name popped up in his mind and he swallowed before saying a name, "…Umber?"
Kai grinned. "Ding ding ding."
"But, wait," Quentin said quickly. "I thought he was dead. Or gone, killed by the beast. Or something."
Kai's expression darkened just a touch. "No. The coward's still alive."
He turned, already walking away.
"And I'd bet you everything," Kai added casually, "that he hasn't lost a single night's sleep over what's happened to Fillory since the Beast took over."
Alice stared at Kai like one might stare at a man calmly suggesting arson as a team-building exercise.
"You're not thinking of—" she began.
"I am," Kai cut in smoothly, already turning away. "Why not? I've caused the fall of onr deity. Doing it again just proves consistency." He paused, lips quirking. "Besides, Fillory is objectively better off without them. Yes, there will be repercussions. No, we will not panic about those yet."
He clapped his hands once.
"Now then, chop chop, kids. Time to meet another god."
_________________________
Fillory was already having one of those weeks…again.
First things first: the royals of the Kingdom of Loria, every last self-important silk-draped noble had been turned into rats, like actual rats.
Eliot had stood in the high hall, staring at the scurrying disaster with hollow disbelief
"Oh, of course," he muttered. "Naturally this happens after I lose out on hot, aggressive reconciliation sex with King Idri. Truly, Ember has impeccable timing."
The goat god. The divine menace. The serial cock-blocker. Yeah Elliot had taken to calling one of Fillory's creators as such.
Eliot dragged a hand down his face. Ember wasn't just trouble, he was the kind of trouble that set fires and then complained about the smoke.
And then Margo had brought another bad news he definitely wasn't expecting.
"Bad news," she said with a measured caution that instantly aroused his suspicion. "We're not alone in the castle anymore."
Eliot had looked at her with a questioning gaze . "If this is another political delegation, I swear to every god—"
"Nope, it's the bugs, butterflies with tiny wings and big attitudes."
"…Fairies?" Elliot asked weakly.
Margo nodded. "Invisible ones. Unless they want you to see them. Which they don't. Because they're creeps."
Eliot pinched the bridge of his nose, temples throbbing. "That is wrong. On every level. Morally. Magically. Architecturally."
And then of course he'd learned the worst news.
Apparently, Margo in a moment of desperation, had bargained away his own child to save his life, using the fairies to restore the Wellspring.
Eliot had downed an entire bottle of wine in one sitting before finally asking, "What?"
That revelation made him seriously consider locking Margo in a dungeon… for her own protection. And his sanity of course.
As if the universe wasn't done piling on, Princess Ess attempted a hostile takeover.
Attempted.
Thankfully, Kai, bless his terrifying competence had set a trap throughout the castle. Every Lorian conspirator collapsed unconscious before they could even finish their villain speeches.
Eliot had never been more grateful for magical overkill.
Then came the attempted banishment from Fillory. It had started randomly after dealing with the lorians and looking for a way to turn back the ones who were now rats back to humans. One moment Elliot was talking and then he blinked and found himself in a forest.
He walked back to the throne room only to be teleported out to the forest again.
And again.
And again. By the eighteenth time, he wasn't even annoyed anymore, he was just bored.
Then it started happening to Margo too which for some reason made him feel oddly satisfied.
After roughly the same number of involuntary woodland excursions, she snapped, "Isn't this what Kai said about tethering us to Fillory?"
Eliot frowned. "You think Ember's trying to eject us?"
"Like bad sushi," Margo replied.
Then another funny thing happened and Fen nearly vanished… more like almost kidnapped actually.
Almost.
What stopped it was… unexpected.
They had all heard a dull, bell-like thud echoed through the halls. Again. And again.
Good thing they both learned some of Kai's special tricks and quickly realized that it was the effect of the boundary spell being tripped off.
Kai's work definitely.
He'd placed a protective charm around Fen, one designed specifically to prevent fairy interference.
And oh boy did the fairies test it.
Repeatedly.
At one point, one of them slammed into the boundary so hard it was blasted backward and briefly became visible before fading away.
Eliot had stared at the whole thing
"…Right," he said. "Kai is officially either my child's godfather or his/her terrifyingly cool uncle."
Shortly after, Margo was taken.
When she returned however, one eye was gone.
Apparently it was taken as compensation for a deal unfulfilled.
Eliot was horrified, furious and helpless.
There was nothing they could do… for now of course.
And that was when the talking bunny arrived.
It delivered a message from Kai.
He had a plan to help rid Fillory of its primary sickness.
Its gods, and as the bunny finished speaking, Margo scoffed. "Little cakes? Really?"
Eliot sighed. "Of course gods have catnip."
He glanced beside the bunny and noticed a strange plant strapped to its side with a message to Josh.
"Well then," Elliot said, straightening. "Looks like we're throwing a celebration."
His smile and turned to look at Margo with a little mischief in his eyes.
"And it seems we have a very… special guest of honor."