Inside a guarded, wind-protected Hogwarts courtyard with clear view of the skies above the Black Lake, a group of witches lined the benches wrapped up in thick blankets and comfortable robes. All of them had snacks, binoculars or other spygear in their hands.
Clever charms worked into the courtyard's cobbled pavement kept them from getting drenched in rain.
"The braid looks very pretty. Clever of her to tie her hair up with all the wind."
"No, look closer. Their robes aren't even getting ruffled. I don't think they even notice any wind up there."
"A spell from Talion?"
"Who else but him?"
"She was selected as a champion for Beauxbaton, she can't be a dullard."
"And she's a Black. There's good reason to believe she could also accomplish this."
"Well, the flying carpet is definitely Talion's. I saw it in our second year."
"Aren't they banned in Britain?"
"They are. My father told me they are blanket banned, pun intended, but you can apply for permits. You have to pay a heavy fee and get an audience with a team of Unspeakables who will check the enchantments of the rug and only then can you use it."
"Wow, do you know why?"
"Nope."
"Ugh, why are we hearing about stupid Goblins for four years straight when Binns could tell us about why flying carpets are banned here."
"Yeah, they definitely aren't banned in Egypt. That's where Talion got his from when he attended his first dueling championship. My uncle was in attendance and saw him buy it. Also, that whole Unspeakable audience thing is super expensive and takes a lot of connections to get through. That's why you only ever see people using brooms. A lot less hassle."
*sigh* " I don't know about you, but I'm really happy I was born a girl. My older brother constantly gets lectures from my father about what a waste of space he is compared to the accomplishments of Talion."
"Isn't your brother third best of his year and was a runner-up for headboy if Cedric Diggory wasn't selected?"
"Listen to yourself. Third best and runner-up? Do you think that applies to Talion?"
"Still kind of unfair of your father."
"I did lead by saying I'm happy I'm a girl. My brother is really getting shafted by the comparisons."
"Your father does know that Talion is not the best of our year, right? Granger is."
"On parchment, maybe. But is she really? Yeah, her grades are spotless, but Talion obviously never went for perfect grades. He rather spent his time breaking all kinds of Quidditch records, training in dueling to the point of becoming world champion back-to-back-to-back and getting his O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s early in courses he's supremely talented in. Nobody really cares about his average grades in Potions or History of Magic when you take into account that he is the defending world champion in dueling and has a master certification in Ancient Runes all before even graduating. And all that after growing up with muggles and only learning about magic before his first year."
"Wow, you had that one primed and ready. Got a crush on him?"
"Shut up! Of course I do! We all do. And you know my family is in the enchanting business. My mom got to read his master thesis that he wrote in Italy with the professor over there. She was floored. So now she constantly nags me to ask him out or at least get him to tutor me in Ancient Runes while he's still at Hogwarts."
"Hehe! That's what those daily letters are for?"
"Stop laughing!"
"Hey, has anybody here asked themselves if Talion invited Carina to that picnic date as a tactic to win the Triwizard Tournament? You know, scope out the competition?"
"Pfft, as if he would need to do that."
"What she said."
"So he's actually interested in her? Why?"
"What do you mean 'why'? She's drop-dead gorgeous and she has the perfect family name."
"Yeah, but we all have that. Natalie Rosier had that, too, and he dumped her anyway. Sure, he could dump Black at any point as well, but that Durmstrang maniac licked his face and offered him to make a baby in public. Why not go for her instead?"
"And don't forget, Sirius is head of the family now, not Carina or anyone sensible. He could squander all the remaining, already dwindling Black fortune in his lifetime if my mother is to be believed. So Carina has the name with none of the leverage. They aren't exactly a dynasty anymore. There's only two Blacks left if we ignore Malfoy for a moment."
"I ignore him all day every day. On principle."
"Ugh, stay on topic! We're gossipping about Talion now."
"So the question was, why Carina? We already established it's not the prestigious name, he has his own. Macnair was a fine name already. Then he got the Gamp Lordship on top of that and all that came with it. And he doesn't have a type. So far Talion dated girls with huge knockers and ones with modest cups. Red-heads, blondes, and now a dark-haired witch. He went for both smart and reserved, and air-headed but cheerful, so that's not his type either. Anybody got a guess for his preference?"
"Anybody object to the term 'huge knockers'? No? Only me?"
"Hmm, he didn't mind the difference between aimless and ambitious, either."
"Yeah, not even blood status plays into it. I saw him kiss that freckled girl from his year one time, what was her name? Mandy. The muggleborn."
"They kissed? When? Where? Tell me literally everything!"
"It was a dare, they were drunk at the lake after the last exams for the second year."
"Why have you never told us this!?"
"Was I required or something? When did I take an oath to share all gossip with you?"
"Great idea. We should all take an oath. A gossip oath."
"Stop derailing this meeting. Nobody knows his type then!?"
"Nope."
"No clue."
"Pretty and nice to him. That's all I have."
"Ugh, that isn't helping at all. Of course you're nice to the boy you like."
"I mean, Carina can be mean. She's a Black and they are all lunatics deep down."
"Yeah, but her spiteful words dripping in sarcasm come from a position of caring when talking to him. It's quite obvious."
"Have you been spying on them? How do you know this?"
"I didn't! Stop lying, you witch! I just overheard them when I saw Talion train on the Quidditch bridge and she walked past, catching his attention."
"Which brings me back to my oath-suggestion from earlier. Why weren't we told about this?"
"Okay, change of topic before someone uses their wand to poke out an eye. Carina might die on Monday and we will have another chance earlier than we feared. Has anybody heard about him dating someone at Stati Magia?"
"No, but ugh, their school robes are so gorgeous. I hate Hogwarts now."
"We could ask the professors if we can start a new tradition with ever-changing, more modern designs?"
"And who will make the designs? You? Witch please, I saw the chicken scratch you try to pass as homework in Ancient Runes. Professor Babbling deserves hazard pay for having to grade that. I wouldn't trust you to come up with something nice to look at if my life depended on it. Even less to design my daily wear."
"First of all, shut up. Second of all, how – by all that is magic – could your life depend on it?"
"You're such a witch sometimes. You know what I meant."
"I'm a witch every day."
*Clap*
"Girls, focus. Carina just laughed and leaned into him. And we're no step closer to figuring out Talion's type."
"I say it's easy. First, you have to be pretty. And then you have to be either dumb as bricks and easy but also rich, or you have to be pretty, driven, talented, and engaging."
"Have you been reading muggle gossip rags again?"
"Yeah, Talion is too much of a romantic. He doesn't go for 'easy'. Otherwise Ekatarina would already be running around pregnant."
"He didn't rawdog her and now he is a romantic all of a sudden? You're all hopeless."
"What do you mean by 'rawdog'?"
"It's when a wizard just blasts his seed into your gash without a protection spell, dummy."
"But why use such an ugly name for it? You're disgusting."
"Because sex is ugly. It's sweaty. It's awkward. It doesn't smell nice. There's weird sounds…"
"Ewww, did you see your father and his crane-necked mistress go at it again over the summer or something?"
"They did it in my mother's gardening shed."
"Why didn't you leave?"
"I had a boy with me and I was making out with him. When I heard father approaching, I hid with him inside a cabinet. Neither of us had our wands on our person."
"Ladies. We need a gossip oath now more than ever."
"Be serious, you witch. Girl, continue. Tell us literally everything."
"Eww, I'm not telling you about the disgusting moves my father put on that whore."
"No, about the boy, dummy!"
"I broke up with Adam that same day. Seeing my father doing it with a woman made him horny and he tried fondling me while we were hidden away."
"Yuck."
"Yuck times a million. Boys are the worst."
"So you're anti-Talion now? Out for the count? You did say he isn't a romantic. And made out with that Adam whatever. And called boys the worst."
"I wouldn't let Talion fondle me with my father plowing his mistress in the same room. But I would not say no to a date."
"But Talion won't ask you. He won't ask any of us. That is why we are gathered here to make plans."
"I thought we were here to see a wizard making moves on a witch and see if said wizard actually knew how to make those moves, then continue daydreaming about it. For the prosperity of one of us."
"Our plots are multi-faceted."
"Agreed."
"Sounds sophisticated, I like it."
"And he is good at it. Black's blushing."
"Your spyglass can see her face in such detail? Hand it over, let me see!"
"It's from this owl-order place that opened up recently. Borough's Gold? The one that advertised novel items through, well, owl-order in all the papers since, I dunno, January?"
"Wow, you can actually zoom in on her face by turning this element! Damn, her skin is way too clear! Anybody know her routine?"
"Borough's Gold also has skincare potions. Really nice and affordable. My mum swears by them. Not sure what Carina uses, though."
"Shit, are you telling me I need to read ads in the prophet now to keep up or something? Why haven't you told us before? Classes started weeks ago!"
"I thought everybody knew about them."
"You thought wrong, witch."
"That's not really my problem. You would do well to read more in general."
"Piss off."
"Hey, hey, hey! How often do I have to tell you to stay on topic?"
"Do you think Talion will teach her his runic magic?"
"You mean those tattoos he used to win the last dueling tournament and expose Fake-Moody at the welcome feast?"
"What else?"
"I heard Castman say in Herbology that Professor Flitwick had Talion give a presentation to the Ravenclaw dormitory and he did that by going bare-chested to better show the tattoos and how he applies them."
"Is that true, Fridoline? You're the only Ravenclaw here!"
"He did. It was glorious. He allowed that Croft girl to touch his muscles. I mean the tattoo on his bicep. Flitwick stopped all of us from doing the same and she had to give a description of the texture before we all Avada Kedavra'd her with our eyes."
"Damn. Anybody's family here have a pensieve? I kind of want to see that."
"Why? He went swimming only a few weeks ago. We've all seen him practically naked in those swimming trunks he transfigures."
"Are you saying you've seen enough!? Honestly. If my father arranges a husband for me without a body like that, I'm cursing my bloodline."
"That's a bit dramatic."
"Well, I've seen Adrian naked and he looked like a dented burlap sack compared to Talion."
"My uncle brought me swimming once and he looked like a century-old cauldron whose potioneer treated his tools like a Lestrange treats his house elf."
"I still say it's dramatic. Just get your betrothed to work out. Or maybe there's potions for that?"
"There definitely is. Potter and Talion got buff super fast in their first year. I still remember Talion all lanky and wiry. It was cute."
"Yeah, my mum works for Gringotts and she said there's Goblin elixirs for body strengthening."
"Hmm, Professor Flitwick hooked them up then?"
"Is he a goblin?"
"No, well, half or quarter or something."
"Morgana's saggy titties! My father is a blood purist through and through! Why would he not tell me about that?"
"Why did you think he was so short and misshapen?"
"There's small people and there's ugly people, why would I think too deeply about it?"
"I think your father didn't tell you because he might actually respect the professor. We did learn through Talion's exploits how domineering the man was in the dueling circuits before becoming the charms professor."
"Hmmm, maybe."
"Okay, so to sum it up: we need our future husbands to drink slimming potions and put on some muscle. Either via Goblin elixirs or through hard work. Good thing Professor Snape still tutors us Slytherin students in potions when we ask. I think he might be a good source for this."
"Why not go to Professor Slughorn? He's actually pretty decent as a professor. I learned a lot more in two years with him compared to what Professor Snape did for us before…"
"Have you seen his rotund form? If the man knew how to brew a potion to lose weight, he'd be bathing in it."
"You're not wrong, I suppose…"
"Talion just turned into his raven form!"
"That is such a pretty bird. His feathers are so shiny and dreamy… if I had an animagus form, I wish it was a bird too, so that we could roam the skies together. It would be so romantic…"
"There's a reason we don't do the ritual. We all heard the horror stories as kids."
"Yeah, but he dared. Him and those Ravenclaw mudbloods."
"Don't call them that. Talion doesn't like it."
"I'm not changing who I am for a boy I fancy. My mum and pa call them those names and I don't see how that's wrong. I already tone down plenty of what my grandparent's portraits cuss out."
"You can still be better than them."
"Don't pretend to be a saintess, witch. I've seen how you looked at that centaur Hagrid introduced to us a few weeks ago during class."
"Oh yeah? Didn't you tell us how much you hated looking at house elves the other day and that you were glad your dad made yours hide from you at home? Want me to tell Talion all about it? You know how much he likes those creatures."
"I'm just uncomfortable looking at their malnourished, creepy little bodies. You hate other races for being lesser."
"As if you don't look down on house elves deep down, witch."
"Ladies, ladies! Put back your wands and your claws. Talion just perched on Carina's shoulder after doing a few tricks midair."
"I wouldn't mind him landing on me, if you know what I mean."
"Haha, meow!"
"What do you mean? That makes no sense."
"Ugh."
"Did that raven just pick a lock of hair out of Carina's face and gently place it behind her ear?!"
"Damn, tone it down with your commentary. We're all spying on the same thing. And keep it in your robes!"
"Shut up! That was the cutest thing I have ever seen!"
"Damn. She went all starry-eyed."
"That move would work on me."
"Yep, all hot and bothered over here."
"... you're all way too thirsty."
"Thirsty?"
"It's a muggle expression. You witches are way too horny."
"Talion just changed back. They're drifting off to the Ravenclaw tower."
"Nice date. Bet they're about to make out in his room now."
"He got a single room now that Potter got assigned to Goldstein last year, right?"
"Yep. Allllll private."
"That was really romantic. All that rain and they remained completely untouched. The thunder rumbling off in the distance while not even a small breeze messed with her hair. The food, the flying carpet… I'd totally put out if my lover took me out on a date like that."
"Okay. Let's recap. The date went well. She definitely has the hots for him. He definitely is into her, too. They still might die in the tournament. What are our chances?"
"Fridoline, is there any way that Talion is getting together with a Ravenclaw this year if Carina doesn't work out? Like Isobel MacDougal? Or Lovegood? Croft? Or, ugh, Granger?"
"Very low for all but Luna in particular. She has no chance at all. She's more like a pet to him. Or a very clingy younger sister. Mandy Brocklehurst got that kiss after the second year but he doesn't look at her at all unless it's in polite conversation. Granger is more into Potter… and I don't believe MacDougal still has a chance. She mucked it all up when she insulted Luna in the beginning of year two."
"On the Slytherin front, girls?"
"Natalie is out. We don't know what she did, but he's treating her like air unless spoken to. Isodora tried in her own dorky way, but Talion treats her like air also."
"He's had that one run-in with Greengrass and Davis at the end of September. Davis flirted with him, hard, but Talion didn't engage other than with playful banter."
"Hufflepuff?"
"Nobody was bold enough to ask him out or give him the googly eyes outside of staring at his body when he went swimming in the Black Lake. Bones gets a look of disdain every time she tries to talk with Talion so everybody else is discouraged."
"I heard Lady Bones really fucked with Talion before he got the Gamp lordship. I mean, the two of them are rather openly responsible for the split in the Grey faction of the Wizengamot… but, you know."
"Saying an emancipated, then underaged Hogwarts student is responsible for breaking one of three centennial political factions in our government is giving him way too much credit. And really is an indictment of our current era. Did you notice how little the Daily Prophet reports on the rot in our society once Shacklebolt got the minister position? What about those guys who still run around with headbands here in Hogwarts because the scars won't go away."
"Take your face out of the cauldron fumes, you witch. My father says that's because the real movers were assassinated so all leads went cold and that boys will be boys. He should know, he was one of the lead investigators for the case of the missing people."
"And your father is a good source, how? He has two mistresses and we all know he uses the unforgivables on prisoners. I'd rather trust Hagrid to be a decent professor than your father's opinion on matters of justice."
"Yeah, and just consider they really were all killed, which is very convenient for our administration. Killed by whom? How? And where are the killers now?"
"You realize most of those who disappeared were part of our families, right? How many cousins and uncles have you not heard from again since that gruesome mass murder at the Quidditch World Cup? The floo call comes from inside the house."
"'The floo call comes from inside the house'? By Merlin's beard, how much of Professor Sprout's magic weed have you been smoking?"
"Shut up. The saying works."
"Talion rather openly despises the dark faction and since that attack on him in the first year, he openly sneers at the worst of us Slytherins. What if he is responsible for killing all those perverts and dark wizards?"
"You cannot be serious. He is excellent. And dreamy. And apparently very romantic. But I refuse to believe that he is some vengeful crusader, covertly hunting the dregs of our society. He couldn't be. Some of the murders happened while he was openly inside Hogwarts. Even breaking school records for everyone to see on the Quidditch field like with that one wyvern fire in Diagon Alley."
"And don't forget, the disappearances continued while he was in Italy last year."