I thought that things couldn't get worse. That we had already been through the worst of it, and that no matter what the world threw at us we would make the best out of it. I didn't truly know how cruel the world could be until I watched my mother cough up blood into a napkin during dinner. It felt as if the world was closing in around me. A thought struck through me like an arrow. "Mother … is dying." I felt a tear roll down my cheek as the realization overtook me. I had tried my best, but even my best wasn't good enough. Mother started to cough up more blood and I rushed over with a glass of water. I didn't think anything I could do now would help compared to all I had already done, but damn me if I wasn't going to try.
I helped her get into bed and pull her covers up, but before I could leave, she grabbed my wrist lightly. I turned back towards her and prepared to listen to her words, tears already pinching at the corners of my eyes. I took off my goggles to wipe at them. "I'm not long for this world." she spoke, her voice rough and scratchy from two years of coughing. "I wish I could protect you, but I'm afraid I won't be able to anymore. Just know that I love you."
I felt overwhelming grief then. This was really goodbye. I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't know what to say… No, I knew what to say, no matter how much it hurt to admit her inevitable death out loud. "Don't worry mom, I'll be fine. I have all the market people to look after me, and I know it might be scary, but where you're going isn't a bad place. It's just quiet. Really peaceful." As I sat next to her on her bed, I told her to wait for me because I would join her one day to keep her company. She slipped away in the night.
***
Life was difficult after mother's passing. I wanted to grieve, but at the same time was bogged down with too many tasks too think. I needed to work hard enough to earn my meals, and I think Teuchi kept me busy on purpose to keep my mind off it.
If I tried to use the rest of the month in the apartment, I would be forcibly relocated to an orphanage, so I concealed her death for a day. I pawned everything I couldn't carry except for some household tools, blankets, and the brush with which she had combed my hair. It gave me a little cash in hand before I became desperate. I gazed at the handheld painting my mother had been so proud of. A dragonfly. "Akitsu!" she used to say, pointing between the painting and myself, as if trying to show me what my name meant. I hastily took off my goggles, wiping at my leaky eyes, and gently placed the painting inside my go bag.
I found a crack in an alleyway near Teuchi's ramen stand that led to a small crevice out of the wind, where two buildings didn't quite meet. I scored a refrigerator box from a trash pile and managed to get it over the roofs into the small crevice. A wooden pallet kept it off the wet stones and two hundred Ryo bought a waterproof tarp which I strung up to keep the rain out. I filled my sweatshirt and pants with dry leaves to keep warm in the night. A large tea tin with nail stamped holes occasionally provided some light and heat when it was especially cold.
When I did have time to think my mother was always at the forefront of my mind. 'I don't want to forget her. She loved me and I need to remember that.'
I would get up and sneak out of my burrow at the lightening of the sky. I would go to a local park and work on the stretching and flexibility exercises I learned from my mother until the night's chill left me. I would be joined by some of the timeless old folks who did moving forms in the dawn light.
What could I have done differently? Could I have saved her? Could I have stolen medicine from the hospital? I would still have had to properly diagnose what the problem was. I may have been a nurse in my previous life, but I had had medical texts and references on hand then. A medic-nin could have saved her, but medic nin don't work on civilians. Maybe I could have stolen enough money to buy it? It would have taken a hell of a lot more theft to pull that off than what I had stolen before. Plus, I had stolen from food stalls, it's even harder to steal cash, which is normally much more well looked after. I would have had to have thought of a way to get a lot of money in a short amount of time. I wanted to blame myself, but I don't think it would have really been possible. I needed three things in order to thrive. I needed money for food and shelter. I needed combat skills to protect myself. I needed secrecy to shield myself from those I might wrong, and creeps who prey on kids, like Shimura Danzō.
September
I peeled my eyes open. The world was washed in a shimmery green film, and it was distorted, objects wavering in an eerie dance. I was seemingly weightless, floating in the thick green fluid. I tried to move my arms, but they were weak, and the tinted ooze proved enough to restrain me. My eyes followed a rubbery tube which was connected to a face mask, providing me breaths of cold air. Another tube snaked down my throat and into my stomach. My rousing caused a heart monitor to beep insistently. The sound attracted a person in medical scrubs, and long dark hair that flowed down his back like water. Above the medical mask were a pair of slitted snake eyes, golden in hue and surrounded by thick purple makeup, swooping down towards his nose. Even the green tint could not hide the intensity of his sharp gaze. He approached my tank with a needle the size of a caulking gun, lifting the top off of the container. "Don't worry." he said, peering down at me from above. "This will only hurt a bit."
I woke up screaming in my alleyway hideout, heart racing and throat wet. My cries had startled the local pigeons which were filling the air with their wings. I breathed in and out, trying to slow my racing heart. I tried to get back to sleep, but after a nightmare like that I couldn't help the sense of dread that suffused my person. It was a long time after that that I finally fell asleep again.
***
I crawled my way out of my little home in the late morning, far too late for the breakfast rush, but early enough for lunch. With any luck, Teuchi would have some work for me. As I came up to Teuchi's stall, I spied a pair of little orange legs kicking under the cloth divide. I ducked under it, and found a little kid at the stand; blond haired head turned from me, but the iconic orange jumpsuit made it obvious who it was. I entered the stall, walking up to the counter.
I knew that by working with Teuchi at Ichiraku's I was bound to meet Naruto somewhere along the way. I just didn't think Teuchi would purposefully introduce us. Naruto must have only recently met Teuchi, because his adorable blue eyes were clouded with wariness, and a great deal of hope.
"Akitsu! Come over here and meet my new best customer!" Teuchi shouted from across the street as Naruto ducked his head, until all you could see was his blond hair.
"I'm Akitsu, nice to meet you." I didn't want to scare him off immediately, but I didn't want to get too close too soon. Befriending Naruto was sure to get me watched by ANBU. Still, that didn't mean I couldn't cheer him up a little bit. Here's to hoping this doesn't backfire on me.
Naruto's eyes avoided mine as he reluctantly introduced himself. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto." I ordered a bowl of pork ramen for myself and sat down not too far from the orange clad child. He was eating a seafood ramen with shrimp and a little fishy swirl thing. I pointed my finger at him in outrage trembling with feigned horror.
"You monster!" I exclaimed. His eyes flashed with hurt, and he flinched away. "You cannibal! How dare you eat Naruto!" He paused, and the hurt in his eyes turned into confusion, and then disbelief. I snorted with laughter.
"You should talk!" Naruto said, imitating my snort. Some of the wariness faded. "You're eating pig, cannibal!" He danced around me snorting and pointing, his bowl in one hand. I stuck my tongue out at him and tried to pull down my eyelid, poking my goggle with my chopsticks. We collided in a spray of soup and limbs, slipping out of our high seats and crashing to the ground, our precious noodles hitting the floor. Naruto wailed as if the world was ending while I sat in a soupy mess. Teuchi grabbed us by the ears and led us to the area behind the stand. I chuckled; a full belly laugh the whole way there. Yes, this had been a good decision.
"Right." He said. "You two are cleaning this up." He pointed to the mop and bucket. Naruto and I cleaned up the noodles and mopped the floor while Teuchi watched gravely. Naruto kept giving me the stink eye. After we were done, we presented ourselves to Teuchi, and he pronounced us done. I turned to Naruto and bowed to him.
"Moushiwake-gozaimasen-deshita." He snorted at my formality, and I continued despite the interruption. "Please allow me to buy you another bowl."
"Warui." Naruto responded. "But I will allow you to buy me that bowl." Teuchi watched approvingly as we waited for our new food. As we ate Naruto continued to chuckle quietly into his bowl.
"Cannibal." I ribbed him again once enough time had passed. He laughed. I snorted.
"Piggy." I snorted again. I paid Teuchi the few bills I owed him. Naruto paid from his slim frog shaped wallet for his original meal. "Buy me another?" he wheedled.
"I'm not your Gama-chan." I refused. He paused, then a realization passed across his face. He pointed at my goggles covering my face, dark lenses slightly protuberant.
"Gama-chan!" he laughed, pointing at me. I smiled politely at Teuchi and took Naruto by the collar into the street, forcing him into a headlock. As we wrestIed I began to rub his head. He slipped out of my grasp, outraged.
"Yamārashi!" I mocked him, pointing at his spiky hair, likening it to a porcupine. He caught a look at himself in the water fountain and charged at me. I ran, and we raced through the village, jumping over crates in alleyways, sliding between stands at the market, ducking under some workmen carrying logs. Naruto caught up with me, breathless at a local park. I was gasping for breath, hands on knees. "I surrender! Please stop before I lose my noodles a second time." Naruto looked down at me with a snooty expression.
"That would be a tragedy." He opined. He gracefully accepted my surrender. His happiness was belied by the giddy grin on his face.
"As an apology, I will give you a haircut, if you like." I offered. I gave a toothy grin.
"Hey! Hands off the hair!" he said, raising his fists in a boxing stance mockingly.
"Fine." I said. "See you around?" I offered him a fist bump, and he seemed confused. I took his fist in my other hand and bumped them together. He pretended not to watch me as I walked away.
***
I saw Naruto often in the next few weeks. Sometimes at the ramen stand, sometimes in the street, sometimes at the local park. We would wave as we passed. He saw me washing my torso in the fountain with a facecloth. Later that day I saw him lonely on the swings, listlessly dangling. "Hey, Porcupine!" I saluted him. Hope soared in his face at anything different than the cold indifference he got from the other kids and the moms at the parks.
"Hey." he said feigning indifference. Without asking I moved behind him and began pushing him on the swing. Higher and higher he rose, laughing in the summer air. "Look how high I am!" he explained childishly.
As I pushed him as high as I could I yelled out "Underdog!" and ran under the swing as he reached the highest point of the parabola. He shrieked as I ran under his legs, and slowed himself down by dragging his feet on the ground. After a minute, he stopped. He looked at me expectantly.
"My arms are tired." I shrugged.
"Thanks, Gama-chan." He said. He hopped off, and I took a turn.
***
We became friends over the next month. He saw me stretching in the park one morning and watched me for a while. Around us was a group of middle aged ladies that always took this corner of the park for their own in the mornings.
"What're you doing?" he asked, head tilted to the side like a puppy.
"Stretching." I replied. "Cold muscles pushed hard can get hurt, and cold tendons can snap like cold rubber bands. Your body is the thing you own the most. It is your first tool, and your last resort." I looked around the park for one of the other residents. "O-basan?" I asked an older lady who practiced in the park, "Would you show my friend here your reverse bridge?" The fortyish woman bent over backwards body making an O shape, her hands on the ground, fingers pointing at her heels, only about 15 inches apart. Naruto looked impressed.
"I used to be a little more flexible, but I had an accident." she explained. "I'll be closer soon." She went back to her workout, smiling as Naruto tried to do the same feat and failed utterly. "Tadpole!" she interrupted his efforts. "Walk first, then run. Do your exercises with Akitsu-kun here, and you may get there some day. The longest Journey?" she waited for me to reply.
"Begins with one step." I replied. She turned to Naruto.
"The best time to plant a tree is fifty years ago. The second-best time to plant a tree is?"
Naruto screwed up his face thinking hard. "Today?" He guessed. She tousled his hair and pointed to me. We started going through basic stretches.
After that day Naruto showed up every morning. After a few days, the oldsters had become accustomed to Naruto showing up, but a few annoyed glances were sent his way. I directed him to quiet down a little. After we were finished, we stopped on the way home. "Naruto" I explained, "O-basan and the others do these things for two reasons." He nodded along. "The first is to prepare and strengthen their bodies. The second is to make their souls quiet to prepare for the coming day." He indicated he understood.
"I've been being quieter."
"Yes." I agreed. "Good job. But does this look quiet?" I pointed to his orange outfit. Naruto bristled.
"Ninja dress awesome!" I nodded along, but during our next meeting took him along on a trip to the local library. I was insistent that we could learn a lot about past shinobi there. We asked the twenty something librarian for some pictures of famous ninja. We got some pictures of the Three Sannin from before Orochimaru went rogue. Then I got a picture of some Genin from the last Chūnin exams. Naruto hmm'd. Then I asked the librarian of some pictures of snakes. I showed him pictures of grass snakes and rat snakes and then a coral snake.
"Why is the grass snake so boring?" I asked.
"So, it can hide?" Naruto guessed. I nodded.
"This coral snake is one of the deadliest known to man. A bite from it will kill you in half a day. Its colors are a way to say, 'Touch me and I'll kill you'. Same thing with ninja. Orochimaru could get along with being a super feminine guy and having long hair because if you looked at him funny, he could kill about all the people in the world except maybe 12 to 30 of them." Naruto looked at me, understanding in his eyes.
"I'm gonna be like the Hokage one day!" he vowed, metaphorical flames in his eyes.
"I believe you." I said. "But until you get there, dress like a grass snake."
"I can't get nicer clothes!" he complained. "All the shopkeepers are mean and throw vegetables at me."
"I can help you." I promised. No matter the excuse, it sat wrong with me that people could treat Naruto like that with no repercussions. No matter what, they were the adults in this situation.
I continued to run deliveries in the neighbourhood. There were a bunch of old people, full of stories. Some of the were retired shinobi. They often had mobility or vision problems, and seemed often to need help, and they seemed to always have a few Ryo to pay for a service. I became a regular helper for quite a few. They told stories about their lives. Hair raising stories about the fast and deadly existence they had lead. A few of them would tell stories about each scar.
I looked up some books on patterns of clothes. I found a pattern for a simple Gi. Before spending money on tailoring, I checked out local used clothing stores. I found several simple black Gi that some kid had grown out of, and some standard garments that went beneath them. I was able to find three outfits within Naruto's price range. I had a needle and thread, and scissors, so back at Naruto's apartment I was able to use my rudimentary skills to hem them to the correct length.
Naruto was so happy he hugged me and got cry-snot on my best clothes. Now angry jerks would only notice Naruto at twenty feet away instead of sixty. We got him some handkerchief type hats that kept his hair out of his face. I found a bargain bin turtleneck thing and nearly died laughing when Naruto pulled it up over his face so high it hid his face almost Kakashi style.
***
Fall was getting closer, and I felt like shit. The nights were colder and had dropped below freezing. I had woken up at dawn shivering despite my ten blankets in my hideaway. I lit a candle in the tea tin container despite my fear of fire and shrink wrapping myself in my plastic covered hovel. I ate some crackers and drained a bottle of apple juice. I drifted off, as still as possible, afraid of knocking over the candle.
The harshly lit walls of a cave assaulted my view, stone walls all around me, the shadows springing from the torchlight threatening to jump out and devour me. They danced across the walls like faces, the faces of forgotten children. Up ahead, a single desk stood out from the darkness, and in it sat an old man, one half of his body covered in bandages. I could feel him staring at me, hundreds of eyes pinning me in place. They rolled in their sockets, just out of sight, hidden my white cloth. He held out a single folder in front of him and addressed me. "Agent Squirrel, I trust that you will complete your mission adequately." Against my own will, my voice came out cold and dead. "Hai, Danzō-sama."
I woke up hours later, shivering from the cold. My head spun as I tried to sit up. A small racket was going on nearby, likely what had awoken me. Someone was poking around outside my alleyway. Hearing the large tile that I had used to hide the crack to my hideaway move, I readied my kitchen knife. I was sweating and dizzy, but if some thief came by, I was ready to stab them in the face.
A shadow fell on my green tarp. I was about to stab right through it when I smelled… Soup? Part of the tarp was pulled aside, and Naruto's face was revealed. He had a paper bag in hand from the ramen stand. He looked wide eyed at me, and I stared back for a long moment.
"Aint'cha gonna invite me in?" Grumbling, I vacated half the space, ceding it to him. Naruto made himself comfortable in the small space, gazing without judgement. He handed me a take-out container of soup and a couple of utensils. He opened his own, and we ate in silence. His blue eyes watched me carefully as we ate, and as we packed the food away, he reached across and touched my forehead with the back of his hand. Resolve formed behind his eyes. "Right." he said. "Grab your stuff. You're coming with me."
"Whaa?" I inquired.
"Grab your most important stuff. You're going to sleep at my place." Naruto practically dragged me back to his apartment. He put me on the futon and disguised himself enough to get some packets of willow tea to drop my fever. His apartment was near the edge of the red-light district. As night fell it was a little busy with people going to work, young women kissing their children goodbye, leaving them with babysitters and grandmothers as they went to off.
On Naruto's floor there were a couple of three-bedroom apartments shared by chattering young women prettying themselves up before work and arguing over who borrowed whose clothing. The apartment had an open kitchen, eating, and living room with a small balcony. The bathroom was small, and the bedroom modest. The sun shining through the south facing balcony window was nice, painting the threadbare walls in autumn colors. Naruto's only futon was in the living room area. The plaster was cracked in places. The pipes knocked when Naruto filled the kettle, and it took a while for the water to run clear.
"So" I said blearily while the tea steeped, "how did you find me?"
"Ayame." He answered. "When I asked where you were, she asked me if I was going to take you dinner and pointed out the alleyway."
"That scheming minx." I said, impressed. Naruto looked confused.
"Minx. Mink? Girl itachi? Are you saying she eats mice?" Naruto offered.
"I am implying she is clever and sneaky." I explained. Naruto insisted that I sleep on the futon for the three days until I was better. He brewed me willow bark tea, kept me warm with piled blankets, and fed me packaged chicken ramen. When I was starting to feel less like complete shit I helped with basic chores, and found some sad vegetables in the back of Naruto's refrigerator to chop up and add to his instant ramen. Naruto watched me clean the bathroom like he had never known the concept. His apartment had electrical lights and a working shower, although sometimes the lights flickered. Naruto's wallet was threadbare as the end of the month was nigh.
"Akitsu" he said, "I have space, and you have money. Heyyyy?" he said, gesturing between us with his hands.
"Yes?" I agreed, trying to figure out what he was going to suggest.
"So maybe you can pay me to stay here, and I can have enough food?" Naruto offered. I perked up at the offer. It would benefit us both, though I hadn't expected to become involved with Naruto so soon, or so closely.
"That's a great idea. We could talk to the girls next door and ask around to find out how much an apartment in the area costs." I chimed in. Then I frowned. "I'm not sure that I can pay half though. Can we see if I can pay one third? Maybe I can help with cooking, and we can save some money that way?"
"You can really cook? That's so cool!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Maybe I can teach you a little." I laughed. Naruto agreed to give that a try.
Soon I had a second-hand futon of my own. We made sure to clean everything I owned in the basement laundry area, because I wanted to make sure I didn't bring any tiny visitors to the apartment.
Naruto's money went further this month. I was able to buy groceries without the special 'Naruto Tax'. I was able to teach him to cook sticky rice, and to grill vegetables and fish. "But I want ramen!" he whined. I made him look up the nutritional information, including the unhealthy sodium levels. I showed him pictures of diseased hearts that I had picked from a research paper in the medical section of the Library. He blanched, skin taking on an unhealthy pallor. I also showed him pictures of rickets and scurvy. He looked heartsick.
Naruto grabbed my ears and stared dolefully into my eyes. "Akitsu" he said, "life without ramen. Is it really worth it?" The junior librarian who had been helping us snurfled behind her hand.
"I'm not saying you can't have ramen, Naruto, but maybe once or twice a week at Teuchi's, and two Styrofoam cups a week?" I said, holding my hands up in the air in a placating gesture.
"Fine." He stared at the floor like a sad puppy.
***
Naruto looked over my shoulder as I grilled a fish and explained. "And when it gets dark on this side you flip it over to get the next one. Hey, Naruto, could you check the rice for me?" Ever since I had moved in and started paying half rent, I had slowly been teaching Naruto how to make a simple dish of fish and rice. Even if he was never a good cook, he would still have something to fall back on. I had also tried to instill the importance of vegetables into him, but I think I know where I was going wrong with that one. At this point the only logic Naruto will listen to is ninja logic. "And now we add the peppers." I said putting a quarter of peppers on the grill.
"Ew!" Naruto exclaimed "Vegetables are gross. Why do I have to eat them?"
"Remember the rickets, Naruto? The bendy bones? Remember scurvy, with the bleeding gums?" I could see the images flashing across his mind echoed in his face.
"Fine, fine." He replied sulkily with his hands over his chest.
"Hey Akitsu" Naruto started off as we sat down for dinner, "are there any other things that are important to being a ninja that I don't know? People don't really tell me a lot of things." He looked dejected at the thought, as if thinking about all the people that ignore him in his life.
"Well, what do you think ninja are like?" I asked in a calm tone.
"Oh, ninja are super cool! They fly through the air and fight with big swords and use magic catra jutsu!" He rambled off "I really want to be one when I grow up! Then I'll become Hokage and no one will be mean to me no more!" I smiled at his enthusiasm. It was nice to see a child with a dream already in mind.
"You know I also want to become a ninja?" I asked with a grin on my face. "Well, I do happen to know quite a bit about ninja that I'm willing to share with you. Ninja do indeed perform jutsu with an energy called chakra. Chakra is our individual life energy. Some ninja wield swords, but not all of them, and ninja don't really fly. They just run so fast and high that it looks like flying."
By this point I was in full on lecture mode, but I was trying to keep it simple for Naruto's comprehension level. "But do you know what a ninja's most powerful weapon is? The answer is knowledge." I answered with a grin.
"What do you mean! Does that mean I have to read books!? Books are lame!" Naruto said with a hurt expression on his face. I felt my heart soften. Although some people genuinely didn't enjoy reading, I had a feeling Naruto's dislike came more from the fact that no one had taught him how to read. I quickly went to explain my reasoning.
"Well, the more you know about your enemy, the easier it will be to defeat him, right? And if you want to get really good at using catra, I mean chakra, then you have to read a lot of books on the subject." Naruto still didn't look so sure, so I continued my explanation. "Hey Naruto, what do you know about the Hokages?" Naruto began to ramble off all of the facts that he knew. When he was finished, I started to speak again. "Well, everyone knows about the First Hokage and his legendary Mokuton. It was the most powerful Kekkei genkai in the land of fire. It's what made his super powerful. The other Hokages however didn't have any Kekkei genkai. The second Hokage was known as a really smart nin-jutsu creator. That means he learned so much about how jutsu worked that he made his own. The fourth Hokage was also like that. He studied the super difficult art of fuinjutsu, until he created his own seals that allowed him to teleport! Even the third Hokage is really smart. He's known for knowing so much about everything that he didn't need any special power or secret technique. That's why his titles are God of Shinobi, and The Professor." Naruto was now staring at me in open adoration, hooked to my every word. His blue eyes shone with excitement, and he bounced up and down in his seat.
"Studying is really that important?" He asked in a small voice. "Could … could you help me nii-san?" I was floored. Naruto was calling me his brother? But we had only met a few months ago! Was he really so starved for attention that he would latch on to the first kid to show him kindness? It seems I had underestimated how lonely Naruto was as a child. I had thought based off his behavior in the series that it wasn't that bad, but I guess I misjudged his ability to cope. 'Quick you're zoning out! Answer before he gets upset!'
I rushed to speak. "Of course, I'll help you. And… I don't mind if you call me nii-san, nii-san." I looked away in embarrassment only to be tackled in a big hug. Naruto's arms wrapped around me and squeezed until my ribs started to creak. His face was buried into my chest, and tears welled at the corners of his eyes as he said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, I promise I'll work the hardest!" We sprang apart after the hug, pretending nothing big had happened.