"It's not exactly a way to get stronger, but it is a way to boost the village's power."
"It's fine. Go ahead and tell us."
"Everyone knows that Guy's move—Night Guy—was powerful enough to destroy half of Six Paths Madara's body. So here's my plan: we clone Guy's body in large numbers, let the clones grow in training tanks, and keep them on standby. When the time comes, we have Guy go in, unleash Night Guy, and as soon as he burns out, we swap his soul into a fresh body. He goes again. As long as we're fast enough, Night Guy can be used nonstop."
"Hiss~ That idea sounds a little… over the top."
"Over the top? I don't think so. He can be revived, after all. It's not like he's really dying."
"I still think there's something off about it."
Tsunade thought for a moment, then shook her head and continued, "First of all, we don't even know if Guy would agree. And second, the scroll Second Grandpa left behind says that every time someone's revived, the soul needs time to adapt to the new body. Only after that can they perform at the same level as before."
"I've thought about that. But to me, that detail can be overlooked."
"How so?"
"As long as the clones are grown properly, all Guy needs is a moment to adjust to the new body and be able to open the Eight Gates. Whether he can fully unleash the body's maximum power... does that really matter? This is the final gate of the Eight Gates Formation. Even if the power drops a bit because the body isn't perfectly synchronized, how much could it really drop?"
"I see what you're getting at. You're basically saying the clones would be disposable."
"That's exactly what I'm saying."
At that point, everyone understood.
The clones were disposable tools—single-use bodies for Guy to activate the Eighth Gate.
If Orochimaru actually pulled it off, just thinking about it made everyone's scalp tingle.
Imagine it: the enemy gets wrecked by Guy using Night Guy. They're still trying to recover—when boom, Guy's soul is transferred into a fresh clone and he kicks again.
As long as there are enough clones, Guy can absolutely kick the enemy to death using the Eighth Gate.
"Wait a minute, using the Eight Inner Gates requires an extremely strong body. The power of the technique depends directly on the user's physical condition. Back then, Guy's father, Might Duy, opened the final Death Gate and only managed to take down four of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen. That kind of power shouldn't be enough to threaten an Ōtsutsuki, right?" Tsunade asked, clearly skeptical.
Orochimaru shrugged and replied, "That's exactly why we need research. We have to figure out how to pre-develop the clones properly, so that as soon as Guy uses them, they're ready to open the Death Gate without losing too much of its power."
"So basically, what you're saying is—you need a lot of funding for your experiments, right?"
Rubbing his hands together, Orochimaru said, "Tsunade, isn't that obvious? Of course research needs funding."
Tsunade rolled her eyes.
She knew Orochimaru wasn't that generous.
All that talk about plans one, two, and three—his real goal was to scam funding.
Maybe he would actually research all three plans, but knowing Orochimaru as well as she did, Tsunade was sure he wouldn't spend all the money on just those three.
This was an open scheme.
As long as Tsunade wanted to increase the village's combat strength, she had no choice but to give him the funds.
"Fine. I'll get you the money later. But Orochimaru, let me warn you—if I find out you're wasting the funding on anything else, I will not let you off."
"Don't worry. I won't do anything reckless."
As if.
[As everyone knows, Kakashi the rich man has completed over a thousand missions, served as a Jonin, mentored Genin, and even became the Hokage. Logically speaking, after stepping down, he should finally start doing things an adult ought to do.]
[In the end, the new generation of the Twelve Little Strong were already out there fighting aliens, but Kakashi was still single. Probably because he read too much of Jiraiya's Make-Out Paradise series. The man had been in sage mode for so long that he had already transcended worldly desires.]
[But giving Kakashi a vague romantic interest? That kind of thing was nothing for the anime team, who were pros at filler episodes.]
[So now let's talk about the girl who stole Kakashi's on-screen first kiss: Hanare.]
"What do you mean he read too much of my Make-Out Paradise? Kakashi's just naturally repressed. What's that got to do with my novels?"
— Third Hokage's timeline —
Jiraiya grumbled with clear dissatisfaction, though his eyes shamelessly wandered over to Kakashi with a very pervy expression.
"Didn't think you had it in you, Kakashi," he said, smirking.
Beside him, Rin Nohara looked at the increasingly stiff Kakashi with a face full of curiosity and gossip.
Meanwhile, Obito was practically grinding his teeth as he glared at Kakashi, his heart full of jealousy and resentment.
"Kakashi, this Hanare girl… is she my daughter-in-law?"
"..."
Seeing Kakashi remain silent, Sakumo didn't plan on letting him off the hook. With a teasing grin, he said, "Oho? Are you blushing?"
Still, Kakashi said nothing.
Naruto, on the other hand, suddenly shouted, "I know! I know—mmph mmph!"
Kakashi had no intention of letting his student talk nonsense. In a flash, he appeared behind Naruto and clamped a hand tightly over his mouth, whispering, "Three bowls of ramen."
Naruto shook his head hard in protest, clearly unsatisfied with the bribe.
Kakashi clicked his tongue and added, "A week of Ichiraku Ramen."
This finally satisfied Naruto, who nodded repeatedly.
Seeing that Naruto agreed, Kakashi let go of the hand covering Naruto's mouth and secretly breathed a sigh of relief.
"Kakashi, even if you've bribed Naruto, it's no use," Kushina said with a mischievous smile, pointing at the glowing screen. "What, are you going to bribe the screen too?"
"Eh~ Of course I can't bribe the screen," Kakashi replied, "but what the screen shows is one thing—what comes out of Naruto's mouth is another."
With Naruto's big mouth, who knows what nonsense he might blurt out?
Kakashi wasn't willing to take that risk.
In the Fifth Hokage's Timeline, Double Kamui Kakashi didn't look as awkward as the Third Hokage's Timeline self.
He stared seriously at the image of Hanare on the screen, his expression unusually solemn.
Seeing how serious he looked, everyone thought Hanare might've died.
They had been ready to tease him, but that thought instantly vanished.
Only Obito had a strange mix of a smile and a frown on his face. He patted Kakashi's shoulder and said, "Kakashi, my condolences."
"Condolences? Why would I need those? First, I don't have any special relationship with Hanare. Second, she's not even dead."
"Then why do you look so serious?"
"Serious? Mm, I think you misunderstood. I was just… reminiscing about what it felt like to kiss Hanare."
"…Damn you, Kakashi! Go to hell!"
Clearly, Obito felt like he'd been played.
Reminiscing, my ass.
I, Uchiha Obito, the man who orchestrated the Nine-Tails attack and started the Fourth Great Ninja War,
I'm thirty-one years old this year and still don't even know what a girl's lips taste like.
Kakashi, that bastard, actually had the nerve to provoke him here. How big of him.
"Tch~ You talk like you could beat me. But to me, without your Sharingan, you're no different from how you were as a kid. I could crush you with one hand."
"..."
Obito went silent.
The Sharingan... he had given it to Kakashi. It belonged to Kakashi now. As Uchiha Obito, he would never take it back.
But if he wanted to teach Kakashi a lesson, he couldn't do it without the Sharingan.
With that thought, he calmly walked up to Orochimaru.
Everyone assumed he was about to ask Orochimaru for something important—
But in the blink of an eye, that shameless guy, Obito, threw himself down and clung to Orochimaru's leg, wailing loudly.
"Orochimaru! Kakashi bullied me! You have to help me get revenge!"
The corner of Orochimaru's mouth twitched.
"What's that got to do with me?"
"I don't care! If you don't give me a pair of Rinnegan you've been researching, I'll come bother you in your lab every single day!"
"…"
Kakashi, don't you have anything to say?
Kakashi gave a wicked smirk and replied, "He's the one hugging your leg, not me. Why would I care?"
You've got to be kidding me.
Orochimaru gritted his teeth and tried to pry Obito off with both hands.
But Obito had made up his mind—he was not letting go until Orochimaru agreed to help.
Left with no choice, Orochimaru opened his mouth wide and used the Orochi-style Body Replacement Technique to escape.
But just as he emerged from the slimy mass, Obito—completely unbothered by the goo still on him—rushed in again to grab his leg.
Orochimaru had finally gotten free. There was no way he'd let himself be caught again.
And so… the two of them began playing a game of cat and mouse around the office.
****
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