Chapter 47: Nihi[L]ity: Where is your motivation?
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✦•✦•✦•✦•『Chapter 47: Start』•✦•✦•✦•✦
"Everything okay up there?"
Usagi asked the blond lad making his way downstairs with his unusually deep voice that didn't exactly fit his image as a cute bunny.
He was sitting on the couch in the open living area while crunching on an orange juicy carrot.
Crunch.
"Yeah. Thanks for asking."
Usagi just lazily waved Yuhao off with his carrot carrying paw.
"I have been meaning to ask. Why do you have a Fenrir cub in your house?"
Crunch.
Usagi pointed towards the fireplace with his long ears while still crunching on carrots.
In front of the fireplace burning with warmth and coziness was a big velvety red pillow that had two small animals laying on top of it sleeping.
One looked like a hybrid creature between a rabbit and a fox with its long ears, fluffy tail, and small body. It also had beautiful shiny white fur that looked like soft clouds sprinkled with fairy dust.
The other one looked more 'normal' as in it didn't look like a magical creature even though its species was one of the most fearsome creatures in the world of Argena.
It looked like a small dog with beautiful obsidian fluffy fur that looked like it absorbed all the light in the room. Well, it looked like a dog, but in actuality it was a Fenrir, as Usagi said.
Unfortunately, there were bandages wrapped around its torso and hind legs covering the beautiful fur under them. It looked like it was recuperating from a fatal injury.
But isn't Fenrir the name of Loki's offspring that would play a vital role during Ragnarök? How did it become a species on its own?
You demanded an answer from the author while also giving your best impression of Phoenix Wright. Objection!
And truthfully Mr. Wright the answer was…
Drum rolls please.
(I don't know)
"I don't know."
Yuhao shrugged his right shoulder towards Usagi.
"I found it yesterday when I was heading back home. It was facing an orc disaster monster to a standstill. That was until I arrived and popped it in the head for rare drop items."
Yuhao sat beside Usagi and took one of the carrots from Usagi's basket and started munching on it.
Usagi gave him bombastic side eyes and Yuhao replied in kind with criminal offensive side eyes.
'What? It is mine anyway.'
Usagi huffed and stored the basket in his inventory, making sure to open it wide enough for Yuhao to see all the rows of carrot baskets stored in it.
And it did have the intended effect judging by the way Yuhao's eye twitched, much to Usagi's joy.
"It growled at me and before I did anything Fou was already breathing down its neck."
"I guess it was not a pleasant experience."
"It wasn't. Not only was the poor doggie shaking like a leaf in a hurricane, but he was also whimpering in pain from all the wounds and injuries on its body."
"You are probably the only person that would refer to a Fenrir as a poor doggie."
"Meh. You get used to it and Fou is much more of a disaster than whatever this Fenrir could grow into."
Yuhao shrugged at Usagi before taking the final bite of his carrot.
'Would this Fenrir wolf cause you trouble?'
'Fou: Nah, I'd win.'
Yuhao was laughing at his own joke in his mind. And it was tamed by him the moment he healed the dog's injuries post battle, so the chances of it going rogue and attacking him or Yun'er were minimal at best.
Not that it could to begin with.
"Does it have a name?"
To that Yuhao shook his head.
"Not yet."
'Me and Kiana absolutely suck when it comes to naming. I would ask mum to give it a cool name. Otherwise, it would be called either Obsidian or Delta.'
The former was suggested by Kiana referencing the color of its beautiful black fur, while the latter was suggested by Yuhao not for any deeper meaning or anything; it just reminded him of Delta from Eminence in Shadow.
Needless to say, Yun'er has to come in clutch and save it from both of those horrible names.
"On a more serious note, how long would you be gone for?"
Usagi knew that Yuhao, Yun'er and that weird overpowered white-haired lady would be out of reach for a period of time. The question was, how long?
"…To be honest with you I am not really sure, Usagi. It could be a couple of weeks or months. Depending on the complexity of the situation, I am not sure at this point."
'I really have no idea how long it would take to establish a foothold in Douluo Dalu.'
'Both me and mum tried establishing an organization in each world. I practiced here in Argena and mum practiced in the modern world.'
'Both of us achieved varying degrees of success, with the experiment concluding on a positive note overall.'
'But I don't know how that would translate into a cultivation world.'
In both worlds, they had several advantages that made their progress a bit easier than it should have been.
Huo Yuhao was established as being very close to the one and only Kicking Saint in the world, so he basically was guaranteed to succeed unless he fucked up royally.
Huo Yun'er's situation was a bit more challenging as her company ruffled a lot of feathers and many people wanted her to either yield and give in or sell out and exit the market.
Of course, it was barely an inconvenience for Yun'er and when she got annoyed with her company or things were unnecessarily slow and frustrating, she would throw her son at them while saying: Herrscher (Nanomancer) be upon ya.
(Pikachu, I choose you.)
But back in Douluo Dalu they would actually be starting from the ground up.
Sure, their experience would help assist them quite a lot, but maneuvering through cultivation society where everyone wanted to fuck you over would be a hassle.
'Maybe the useless duo of mother and daughter that have been occupying my spiritual sea for the last two years would actually come in handy.'
The duo was actually with him for a long time. They entered his spiritual sea the moment he gained both Ellie and Kiana.
He theorized that if he didn't meet Ellie and Kiana, the duo of goddesses might have actually been his 'cheat' like any other generic son of heaven in a trashy manhua.
The only difference was that instead of having a sleazy annoying old man trapped in a ring or something along those lines, he would actually have two gorgeous goddesses guiding him closely.
But if he had to choose? Obviously, Ellie and Kiana. No questions asked.
Anyhow…
'One led Spirit Hall, the largest soul master organization at the time, though she brought it to ruin because of her delusional one-sided obsession with a trash man.'
'While the other led an entire country while disguising herself as its crown prince, and she would have actually succeeded had her divine position not been compromised by a disgusting sleazy old man that manipulated her feelings every step of the way.'
The point being that both of them were good leaders who had decent skills but were given a rotten hand to play with, especially when the dealer was shamelessly cheating the game.
The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea and he can't exactly let them continue living rent-free in his head, quite literally. They have got to earn their keep.
He nodded joyfully, clearly pleased with himself before his expression sank again.
'But all my plans in the world of Douluo Dalu would put me as the number one target to all human forces on the planet and I am not even joking.'
And suddenly he felt a bit weak as if all his energy got drained out of him.
'I am still contemplating if it is even worth it at this point.'
He sank into the comfortable couch beside Usagi; his eyes felt heavy all of a sudden, so he closed them.
All of that happened in mere moments and Usagi hadn't noticed anything unusual, still munching on his favorite carrots that he collected from Yuhao's back garden.
Various images started playing in Yuhao's mind.
A small ambitious cowardly silkworm that was still waiting for its destined one.
A pair of rulers that fell unjustly and with them came the end of an entire biome.
A small golden lion of fate that was scammed out of everything in its possession by a demon that wore the mask of righteousness.
A father who watched his daughter dying at the hands of that demon's schemes without being able to do anything lest said demon would target its lord.
A war between nations that could break out at any moment, a war that would target civilians more than soldiers.
The extinction of an entire race.
The fall of an entire planet.
And finally facing the demon king and his goons in the divine realm.
All of these problems were waiting for him in Douluo Dalu. All of them were major problems that required a ton of effort and planning to tackle.
So much work, time and resources to tackle all of them. Yuhao's worst trait was at play: fearmongering himself before even trying.
'Why am I like this?'
He was closing every possible door by his own hands.
'Should I just continue living this slow life?'
Unknown to him, tendrils of black energy were invading his 'spiritual sea' without his awareness. It was not the first time, judging by how familiarly the tendrils were targeting important parts in his spiritual sea.
And in fact, it wasn't the first time that this happened. It happened occasionally from time to time, but it started after Yuhao accepted his contract with 『Nihility』.
Kiana was the one that kept everything in check and prevented any breakouts from happening. She, however, kept that fact to herself reasoning that Yuhao wasn't strong enough to worry about such a problem.
Unfortunately, Kiana was not in the stigma space at the moment which meant…
Memories. Feelings. Experiences. Ego. Everything that made a person a person.
The tendrils were strategically targeting them and it was affecting him without him noticing.
The once brilliant spiritual sea that shone with an ever-distant light was dimming with every second.
'Maybe I should cancel today's date with mom.'
Huo Yuhao was dying. Dying in his home next to his best friend. Dying in his home while waiting for his mother. Dying alone without either one of them knowing. Silently.
The dark tendrils were stripping him of any 'purpose', any 'meaning', any 'desire' to live for.
'It is strangely warm even though it is a cold winter morning.'
The black tendrils finally arrived at the center of his spiritual sea ready to attack the core with its surrounding residents.
The aforementioned divine cores, gold and purple, reacted strongly towards the black tide of tendrils. They shone with brilliant light only for it to dim when it touched the black waves.
The 『Corrupt light』 spherical elemental core stored at the center of Yuhao's spiritual sea was dimming at an alarming rate.
It started from the center and spread out towards the edges of the sphere as if it was trying to devour all the light and memories of young Yuhao.
Victory was within grasp.
『Nihility』 was about to take advantage of Kiana's absence and claim its contractor for itself and devour him.
To put 『Null』 into his existence and make him meaningless.
A life without meaning is a life that ceases to exist.
A life without ambition was a useless husk.
A life without purpose was an unsightly existence, therefore it ceases to exist.
The black tendrils devoured the light with only the event horizon remaining, but it will soon be devoured.
'A lot of expectations were placed on me, maybe it is too much for me right now. I will try again tomorrow.'
『B̴̨͔͍̖̝̦͚̉͗̊̽u̶̡̧̡͙̬͓͙̥͍̫̼̾͑͒͠t̴̿̓ ̷̡̨͔̰̼̦͍̞͈̯̀̎͐ͅt̵̛͒̄͆̔̔̋ḩ̷̙̲͙̯͙̃́̐̓͂̓e̵̘̝̾r̸̭͎͓̺͇̞͌̌̊́̋͑̓̈́̚͜͠e̶͓̣͈̩̳̮͋͊̆ ̸̦̭̫̖̙͓̘̲̫̓͑̈̃w̴̡̧̨̡̹̭̘̠̰̣͇̒̓͗̋i̵̯̩̣͇̗͗̉̀l̵̢̠̯͓̟͍̈́̀̅̓̈́̃͊̃̓̚̕͝l̷̨͎̦̲̹̻͖͔̰̮̜͍̊͑ ̸̙̈́̅̉͂́b̵̧̠̠͕͉͙̂̃̃̆̋̓͂͂̓̚͠e̷̛̮̦͓͔͙̗͙̭̥̬̭̙̓̅̈́̔͆̒͌̓̌͠ ̴̼̖̩̟̦̝̩͙̭̪̽͜n̵̡̪͔̝͙̲̤̊ͅo̴̹͔͕͍͎̭̐̂͑̑ ̷͖͙̞͈̲̃̏̓t̸͗̅͒̀̔̉̕͜o̷̱͇͈m̶̮̪̈̀̊̾̔̀͂͠ǫ̶̫̯̥̥̹̗̺̞̜̒͒́͊͐̿̓̐̄̕r̶̮͆͒̽̍̌́̔́̚r̴̦͔̗͗͐̑̓͆͆̄̎̽o̸̤̭̩̭͖̩̻͚̟͌̀̓̃́̃̉͘͜ẃ̷̥̦̲̏̅,̵̠̩̞͔́̾̀̀ͅ ̷̡͈̖̬̥͖̖̟̻͕̿̂͒͂̋͂̐̀͛i̶̡̛͈͕͓̫̘͎̪̪̲͒̂̃̍̔̏̑͠͠ͅf̸̜̉ ̸͍̙̮͍̗͑̈́͑̋͜ţ̷͚̫̔͑̓̅̋͒͒̾̚ḣ̶̨̢̡̗̺̘̮̗̖̖̯͙͑͝ȩ̸̣̹͓̪̰̫̫̈́̓̍̾̐̌̚ŗ̸̡̼͚̬͕̯̪͓̹͈̀̀̀̊̂̀ě̵͖̝͠ ̸̪͚͐̑̌ȉ̴̼̖̞̪̱͕͌̎̂̕͜͠ş̵̧̥̫̱͖̯̮̰͇͖̜̿̊͝ ̶̻̙̊͗̓̋̄̊̀͂͐̕ǹ̵̰̣̲̖͍̊̔̾̐͆̎͝͝ͅơ̵̟̟͖͕̰̝̣̘̲̬̓͋͌́͊̕ ̷̞̦͇̟̙̎̍̑̈̊͒̀̚͘̕͘t̸̰̪̯̿̒̋͊̆̏̂̂͊́͜o̶̹͈̻̥̳͇̅̆͌̋̈́̄̐̚͜d̷͍̺͂̏̿̀̂̾͠â̶̜̳̦y̷͘. 』
Suddenly the black tendrils stopped. Not willingly, judging from how they were trying to wiggle away from the last spark of light inside Yuhao's spiritual sea.
The tiny spark of light gained a brilliant pink hue that shone brighter and more brilliantly than any other light.
『B̸̨͎̫̝͈͓͌̔͋e̷͕̣͋̃̈́̒̐̂g̶̪̯͎̭͆̅̎̿̂͐ǫ̸̖̟̤̹̐̿̋̀̏̃n̶̫̜̞̫̒̄͂͆̚ͅͅe̸͗͑̐.』
A violent explosion of pink light diverged from the tiny spark of light. It coated every dark part of the black tide and reverted it back to its Origin.
The spiritual sea that was filled with nothing but meaninglessness reverted back to the brilliant shape. In fact, it was shining brighter than ever and with every portion of darkness consumed, the light shone brighter than ever and the effect was immediately noticeable.
'But that is how a loser thinks.'
The black hole formed at the center of his spiritual sea reverted back to a perfect sphere of light.
And instead of the signature look of 『Corrupt light』, the one filled with white light with red lightning buzzing around it, it changed to brilliant pink.
'I am many things; a loser is not one of them.'
He balled his hands into fists and clenched with enough force that the air was charged with more kinetic energy.
'I am the son of destiny of this era.'
His soul screamed at him to reawaken his greed and hunger for power. To chase the world and demand what was rightfully his. The top of the world.
'I am a Dragon.'
The dragon core was thumping in his chest, a proof he is still alive and well. That he shouldn't give up and there is more to come.
'I am a Herrscher.'
Purple circuits burned under his skin, circulating enough units of Honkai energy to cause a major breakout throughout his body.
'I am a Kaslana.'
His mind roared at him to not be a quitter, that he didn't even start his journey to quit it. That he had not given all he had, and even if he did, he must give more.
'How can I possibly cower in fear while my enemies live and laugh openly?'
He opened his eyes and sharpened his resolve. His face was full of confidence and courage. His dragon core was beating wildly in his chest.
'I shall not be afraid.'
『Martial soul 『White Dragon of Nihility』 reacting strongly. 』
'I shall not be discouraged.'
『Skill 『Kaslana bloodline』 reacting strongly. 』
'I shall look in triumph on my enemies.'
『Martial soul 『Eyes of Heaven』 reacting strongly. 』
'My story shall be the most brilliant story that has ever graced the world of Douluo Dalu.'
『S̵̺͖̎̕͝t̷̩̿͋r̶͍͗i̵͈͑ņ̵̠̌g̸͙̈̕͝ ̴̝̽õ̶̲f̶̣̊̾ ̴̰̅o̵̲̠̍̌̌r̵̹̓̿į̸̻̣͂͆g̶͓̓͊̓i̷̙̅n̵̹̏̾̋ ̶̡͊́a̵̪̖̋̏͌c̵̩̖̙͑ḵ̴͖̥͂͒͗ǹ̶͙͠o̸̭̦̾̉̽w̸̖̚l̶͙̝̣̽̚͝ȩ̷̳̗́͂d̵̹̂͌g̶̺̎̏̕e̸̖͌ŝ̴̯̗͔ ̶̻͙̯̉̂̌y̷̞͉͙͛̉ó̷̱u̶̹̿͛ř̴̹̌ ̴̪̬͛͠w̶̟̐î̸͉̭̉̈́͜s̴̖̰̀͠ḩ̸̯̉̀̚ ̵̗̲̰͛f̴̳̣̒̾o̴̰̔͊͌r̶͉̓̂̐ ̶̥̂ͅa̶͎͊ ̷̨͉̟̉b̸̤̥͆͊̓r̴̤͕͋̈̾ȋ̸̢̲̳̇l̸͍̭͝l̴͉̆̀̀i̴͉͖͐á̶̺̤̬̽̈n̸̪͙̽̚t̶̛͓̉̀ ̵͓͌̏̓s̴̟̅̋t̶̻̣̜͐̂̚o̴̳͙r̵̞̦̝͋y̶̬͐͜.̴̻̀̾̚ ̵̝̈́̈́̑』
Spiritual energy compressed more inside his spiritual sea, while the volume expanded at an unimaginable rate.
It was a weird situation. He was just chilling on his couch, then he was moments away from being erased conceptually and now his spiritual sea was breaking through.
Yes, he actually achieved a breakthrough after overcoming adversity like a proper son of heaven.
Huo Yuhao was breaking through from Spirit Sea Realm to Spirit Abyss Realm, where one's own spirit becomes its own world with the upper boundary as heaven and the lower boundary as hell.
He felt like he had pushed aside a heavy load that was weighing down on his mind.
His mind felt clearer than ever as if the entire world had become so much brighter and more silent.
His spiritual sense was drastically enhanced so that he felt all problems and complex study materials that he had trouble understanding before appear as clear as a summer day.
Strands of spiritual power escaped from his spiritual sea and swam across the air.
He felt everything around him, the materials he used in building the chalet, the magic sequences he engraved on every part in his territory, the numerous monsters within the forest, and the stronghold built outside the forest.
He felt everything.
Every emotion, every thought, every particle of energy in the air. He felt it all with just his spirit. As if he pushed open a door and entered another world. (Pun intended.)
He now had a goal, a light at the end of the tunnel, and with it, a path started taking shape.
At the start of his journey, he was satisfied by just escaping with his mother to a safe place.
After their safety had been secured in the new world, he started getting distracted. He started projects on a whim and left them midway just as fast, never intending to end them properly or reach a satisfying conclusion for them.
He diversified his powerset claiming that it would give a better chance against multiple enemies, but in the end, he suffered from the paradox of choice.
Skills made just to counter specific scenarios that he imagined himself. He deluded himself arguing that there are many types of enemies that he would face and he needed to be prepared for them.
But he forgot that there was only one type of enemy: the enemy that stood in his way to greatness. Nothing more, nothing less.
He filled out his schedule to the brim every day to distract himself from his final goal, only tricking himself that he was making progress while in fact he stagnated several stages ago.
If he didn't have Kiana, a literal godlike being, breathing down his neck, whipping him into shape and guiding him through training and seeing through his bullshit, he would have transformed from a blade that had insane potential to a blob that peaked at one point in life and never again.
But no more.
'Effective immediately.'
His soul listened to his commands. No more would he fearmonger himself. No fear, only courage.
'All redundant and obscure skills are to be recycled into points through the 『Essence of Skill/Power Creation』.'
Yuhao instructed mentally as he stood up, ignoring the looks of concern he received from both Usagi and Fou; the black Fenrir was still sleeping.
He didn't give them any mind because at that moment he was riding a high that he had never felt before. A motivational high, and he had to capitalize on every second of it.
Greed for motivation and power was running through his veins.
The 『Essence of Skill/Power Creation』 was arguably Yuhao's most prized power. It was a source of any skills, arts, and abilities he could think of.
Sounds amazing? Because it is.
But surely for such a power, there must be some drawbacks. Unfortunately, the only drawback to such powers was the mindset of its holder.
A human mind is overly complex yet at the same time directly simple. It follows simple philosophical keys and follows them to a tee. The philosophical key that Yuhao was trapped in was:
When granted everything, you can't do anything.
Ironic, isn't it?
You would find yourself spending more time choosing instead of doing.
You would find yourself wasting time optimizing strats and not skills.
You would daydream about doing this and that, but never actually doing it.
You suffer from the paradox of choice and get paralyzed. The once-raging ocean that had the potential to swamp the land and end it all changed to a stagnant lake.
It lost its edge.
But no more.
『Order received. 』
He was going to fix that.
✦•✦•✦•✦•『Chapter 47: Finished』•✦•✦•✦•✦
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