*
Was... Was that a dream? My heart accelerates, it beats faster and faster, thumping against my ribcage until it hurts. How much of the past slipped past my hands again? I wonder... How much does Arin remember? The way she acts with conviction, surely meant that she retained everything.
An entire life, a life lived past together. Memories from thousands of years ago from another era, memories of dreams experienced together. My hands reach for the unknown, slowly, excruciatingly, dully, a futile effort. Yet they won't stop. I know it would yield nothing, but I can't help but feel this way, to grasp at what was once mine in curiosity. My fingers slice through the stale air, the brief and gentle stir that could barely be called a breeze resurfaces the sensation of loneliness, the void that lacks answers no matter how much I look.
I can't remember. I can only feel based on intuition, dreamt. Of something beautiful, of something ugly, of the world and the stillness I fought against. Information about a previous life, such a farfetch distant concept could never exist conveniently in this life. Reality was a dead end, yet I can't bring back anything from my dreams. So, the only way I could fight back was to resolve everything in one dream.
The dreams got worse after I came back to life. Could it be because I got stronger? Does getting stronger bring me closer to the truth? Now, I'm an A grade. I defeated Eterna with a lot of help, but if it's a fight against a single person I felt like I could beat almost anyone. Not that it would help anyone. For now, I'll get out of bed. The first one to spot anything strange was Arin, when I began having those dreams she noticed that I tended to think a lot once awake.
Without her observation, I wouldn't know if I had dreamt too. I don't remember any of the contents, but it'd be more unsettling if I didn't know whether the dream occurred or not. They inevitably left marks into my mind, marks that could be detected in reality. For now, I should leave all these matters behind and get ready for school. Spending time spacing out meant there wasn't much time left to prepare. Skipping homeroom should be fine, there isn't any penalty for being late.
There's a sort of culture baked into society where people feel like they're missing out or not bringing out the full potential of their own talents if they don't go to school. Naturally there are outliers every now and then, but they are far and few between. Perhaps, having a soul from another era... For this matter, another species of humankind, would change those odds.
That brings into question, did I deserved to win? Was I able to hit above her weight, defeat Eterna, because she borrowed {Envy} from my past life? The life that worked hard to develop {Envy} into a power that could threaten the world. The sentinels worked together to keep me alive, and {Envy} acted as my shining sword to cut through the darkness shrouding humanity. Neither sword nor shield actually belong to 'me', which 'me' am I really? Perhaps I'll never find the answer, destined to always ponder until the last of my days.
What Arin made me realised, was that only 'I' cared. To the rest of the world, the sun will rise once again. Nothing will change. For good or bad, things will remain the same. That's why at least for now, while Giselle is doing her best I have to do my best too, with the only way being forward.
It's amazing what a single week or two can do to a person. Before I finished all my overthinking, I've already washed up and dressed. My feet were planted onto the ground and they rose automatically, it's hard to say the school comes into view when it's taking up the entire scenery of any one direction, that was how monumental its size was. Despite all the terroristic attacks and whatnot, it has continued to function for millenia.
There isn't any inbuilt militaristic defence systems, but over the countless years the buildings naturally became more reinforced, more durable, and backup buildings for other backup buildings were invested into without any hesitation. As a result they never faced the issue of overcrowding, nor did they run out of classrooms when some of them got attacked. Students from different classes might have had to huddle into the same classroom, but that was about the worst extent of it.
You could say, they've adapted to any dissident force against the world government. Their resilience also works well against anomalous Trace cases and any supernatural activity that poked a hole or two. Compared to those entities, the school board was more formidable.
Right in time, I spotted Arin fidgeting outside the gate, glancing around for any sign of me. This wasn't the first time it happened... I do hope she wouldn't be this worried all the time, but having died once I don't have the stomach to rebuke her concern. Upon spotting me, her lips grew crooked and all the frowning couldn't help but bloom into an awkward smile, lost between helpless anger and relief.
My thoughts raced as I up the pace and closed the distance, in the end my head drew a blank. My throat felt constricted as I squeezed out something perfunctory.
"Good morning...!" (Lastia)
"Jeez... You know how worried I was? Homeroom just started!" (Arin)
"Mhmm... Where's Sariel?" (Lastia)
I try to divert it, it is my fault for being late. To others, even to Arin, it must be impossible to rule out my laziness even if my being late could be attributed to my dreams stirring my mind. I'm sorry, I might have to continue borrowing you as an excuse to escape her wrath! However, Arin was sharp, she blatantly saw through my measly pathetic diversion.
"!? I sent her ahead. Come on, let's go. You're not escaping this." (Arin)
Sometimes I felt like she treasured me more than I do myself. Thinking about my future and how my truancy might make it into my records. While education and basic living conditions are guaranteed, jobs weren't and only became more competitive because of these factors. My memories are all there, and all this while I've been having a hard time feeling whether they were really 'mine' to begin with. So I have to wonder, what dreams did the old Lastia used to have? Before suffering the curse, before becoming a magical girl.
They're there, but they're vague and blurry as if 3000 years past and I have nothing but emotions and instincts to go off of.
"Thank you for waiting for me, I don't know what I'd do without you." (Lastia)
"...? What's gotten into you? You're... Welcome? You're not thinking anything strange, are you?" (Arin)
"... Is our future together strange to you? "(Lastia)
" W-Wha..!!! "(Arin)
I couldn't help but let out a couple chuckles as we out of the bus.