While Wade was busy having the absolute time of his life pulling high-speed donuts on the hardwood floor, the five-minute trial period quietly ran out.
The sample's magical effects vanished. Instantly.
In a split second, the frictionless sensation stripped away from his body, causing his momentum to completely die.
"WHOA—!"
Wade's bare feet suddenly gripped the floorboards, and gravity violently tried to plant his face directly into the ground. Luckily, years of dodging bullets and surviving explosions kicked in. He twisted his body mid-air, flailing his arms like a winded windmill, and somehow managed to regain his balance before a public embarrassment occurred.
But a clumsy fall wasn't the real problem. Not even close.
The true disaster struck a heartbeat later.
The gorgeous, flawless skin he'd been fawning over in his phone camera began to rapidly dissolve. The smooth, glowing complexion that could have made a supermodel weep with envy disappeared right before his eyes.
The jagged scars crept back, the deep, uneven pits resurfaced, and the twisted, ruined burn marks took over his flesh once more. Within seconds, his face reverted right back to the exact same disfigured appearance he had loathed for years.
Wade stood frozen in the middle of the shop, completely paralyzed by a stunned, heavy silence. Then, absolute panic set in.
"No," his voice cracked, his gloved hands flying up to clutch his face. "No, no, no, no, no! Please, don't change back! DON'T CHANGE BACK!"
There was pure, unadulterated horror in his scream. If he had never experienced what it felt like to have a normal face again, he probably could have kept tolerating it. After all, he'd spent years looking like a walking crime scene. But now? Now he knew exactly what he was missing. That brief, fleeting taste of normality had become a cruel curse, and losing it felt a million times worse than never having it at all.
Watching the emotional devastation unfold in real-time, Rosh calmly leaned against the counter and folded his arms. A faint, knowing smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
"Now then," Rosh said, keeping his voice smooth and steady. "Do you still think seven hundred thousand dollars is too expensive?"
Wade froze, his hands still pressed against his scarred cheeks.
The shop went dead quiet because, deep down, Wade already knew the truth. Compared to what this fruit actually offered, seven hundred grand wasn't expensive. It was an absolute, ridiculous steal.
If word ever got out to the public that a shop on 73rd Street could permanently wipe away any physical deformity, people would literally start wars over it. Hollywood actors, aging billionaires, elite politicians, and top-tier models would gladly throw their entire life savings at Rosh just for a single bite.
Compared to that kind of market value, Rosh was practically running a charity.
"Fine," Wade let out a dramatic, soul-crushing sigh. "Seven hundred thousand it is."
He reached into his tactical suit and pulled out a sleek black credit card, staring at it with the tragic expression of a man watching his entire life savings flash before his eyes.
"Damn it," Wade muttered, tossing the card onto the counter. "Do you have any idea how many sketchy bounties I had to take for that? That is two full years of hard-earned mercenary blood money."
Ever since reuniting with his girlfriend Vanessa and finally settling his deadly score with the guy who ruined his face, Wade had gone right back to his old line of work. Sure, he had a terrible habit of occasionally killing both the target and the guy who hired him, but his services were still incredibly popular and highly expensive. Over the past two years, he'd managed to hoard a pretty respectable income.
And now, almost all of it was officially becoming Devil Fruit money. Life was weird like that.
The transaction went through without a single hitch. A moment later, Rosh reached into the display case and handed over the full, authentic Smooth-Smooth Fruit.
Wade accepted the pale, swirling produce as if it were the literal Holy Grail. Without wasting a single second, he opened his mouth wide and took a massive, aggressive bite out of it.
The immediate reaction was entirely predictable.
"SHIT!" Wade's entire face contorted into a knot of pure agony. "Oh my god, it's somehow even worse the second time! My tongue is literally trying to commit suicide!"
He looked personally insulted by the fruit's very existence, gagging loudly as he forced it down. "I genuinely, truly hope I never have to eat something this profoundly disgusting for the rest of my natural life."
"Uh..." Rosh hesitated, a sudden wave of awkwardness washing over him.
Wade's eyes narrowed into suspicious, dark slits. "What? Why are you making that face?"
"Nothing!" Rosh immediately shook his head, donning his best innocent smile. "Absolutely nothing at all."
There was no way on Earth he was going to tell Wade that a single, tiny bite would have been more than enough to trigger the permanent transformation. Would the hyper-violent mercenary murder him on the spot if he found out he didn't have to swallow the whole thing?
Maybe.
Possibly.
Definitely.
Rosh had watched in stunned, horrified silence as Wade practically devoured the entire fruit in a matter of seconds. Normal customers would have taken the bare minimum required to activate the magic. But Wade? He had attacked it like a starving man facing his final meal. Then again, this was Deadpool. Normal human behavior had never really been his thing.
As Rosh silently questioned his own life choices, the Devil Fruit's true power was finally activated.
The transformation began once more, but this time, it was permanent. The jagged scars melted away. The damaged, cratered flesh smoothed over into perfect alignment. The severe disfigurement vanished into thin air. Within moments, his flawless, breathtaking appearance returned.
"IT'S BACK!" Wade practically shrieked, jumping up and down like a kid on Christmas morning. "MY BEAUTIFUL FACE IS BACK!"
His explosive excitement practically shook the dust off the ceiling tiles. Rosh couldn't help but let out a genuine laugh.
"Congratulations, sir," Rosh said, gesturing grandly toward him. "You now officially possess a face that men will envy and women will admire. You are, without a doubt, one of the hottest guys in this entire neighborhood."
"Damn right I am!" Wade immediately whipped out his phone, completely switching into full-blown narcissistic selfie mode. He spent the next few minutes admiring his reflection from every conceivable angle. "Look at this jawline. Look at this poreless, radiant skin. I might actually fall in love with myself. Is it legal to marry your own reflection in New York? I should look that up."
Honestly, it was a good thing the shop was empty. If any regular civilian had walked in and witnessed a grown man in a superhero suit aggressively flirting with his own phone screen, they would have called psychiatric assistance immediately.
Suddenly, Wade snapped out of his trance, his eyes lighting up as he looked back at Rosh.
"Hey, Shopkeeper!" he called out, looking genuinely hyped. "You got any more of these crazy superpower fruits in the back? Because honestly, I'm already saving up my pennies for a round two."
The taste might have been an unforgettable nightmare, but the literal reality-bending superpowers? Worth every single cent.
Unfortunately, Rosh shook his head, his expression turning serious. "I'm afraid that's not how it works, Wade. Generally speaking, a person can only consume one Devil Fruit in their entire lifetime."
Wade blinked, his phone dropping slightly. "Huh? Why's that?"
"Because eating a second Devil Fruit causes your body to literally violently explode from the inside out."
Wade stared at him for a long, quiet second before completely exploding with outrage. "YOU CAN'T JUST CASUALLY DROP A BOMBSHELL LIKE THAT IN CONVERSATION!" he shouted, pointing a dramatic finger. "EXPLODE?! Like, total chunky salsa style?! You're telling me I almost turned myself into a human firework?!"
Then, he paused. His eyes narrowed as his brain processed the exact phrasing Rosh had used.
"Wait a minute. You said generally."
Rosh nodded, a small smirk playing on his lips. "I did."
Wade leaned over the counter, completely intrigued. "So you're telling me there is a way to eat multiple fruits without becoming a Jackson Pollock painting?"
"There is," Rosh didn't see any point in hiding the lore. "If someone manages to obtain the Dark-Dark Fruit, they gain the unique ability to absorb and wield the powers of multiple Devil Fruits safely."
Wade's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "Okay, that sounds ridiculously, illegally overpowered."
"It is."
"And I'm guessing it's also ridiculously, illegally expensive?"
"Spot on."
"How bad are we talking here, chief?"
"Ten billion dollars."
Total, crushing silence filled the store. Wade's jaw literally dropped so low it looked unhinged.
"Ten... billion?" his brain momentarily stopped functioning. He couldn't even visualize that amount of money. At that rate, he'd need to sell his mercenary services several thousand times over just to afford a down payment.
"And that's assuming I even have one available in stock," Rosh shrugged casually. "Which I don't."
Currently, the system has only unlocked the lower-tier inventory. The legendary, world-shaking fruits, like the Tremor-Tremor Fruit or the Glint-Glint Fruit, remained completely locked away. Those would only become available once Rosh hit major sales milestones.
"Damn," Wade let out a massive, theatrical sigh. "Being poor is exhausting."
"There are support groups for that," Rosh joked.
"Yeah? Are there support groups for being incredibly, ridiculously handsome?"
"Those probably cost money, too."
Wade looked deeply offended by the concept.
Suddenly, Rosh remembered a core feature of his system setup. "Oh, right. Before you go." He pulled out his own phone and tapped the screen a few times. "I actually created a private digital group chat exclusively for Devil Fruit users."
Wade blinked. "A support group?"
"More like an underground community," Rosh clarified, nodding. "A safe space where members can exchange tactical information, trade tips, and discuss how their new abilities are developing."
Wade thought about it for roughly three seconds. "Sure, why not? Drop the link."
The two quickly exchanged contact info, and a second later, Wade's phone buzzed with an invitation. He swiped it open, stared at the screen for a moment, then stared harder. Finally, he looked up at Rosh with a deadpan expression.
"...Devil Fruit Family? Seriously?"
"Yes."
"There are literally only two people in this entire group."
"Yes."
Wade pointed aggressively at the screen. "It's just you and me!"
"Hey, every empire has to start somewhere," Rosh admitted with an easygoing chuckle. "There are only two members right now, but I'm highly confident that's going to change very soon." He flashed a smooth salesman's smile. "Speaking of which, if you have any friends in your line of work, referrals would be highly appreciated."
Wade let out a loud snort, slipping his phone back into his suit pocket as he turned toward the exit. "Good luck with that, organic Popeye. Your fruits cost more than a literal mansion in Malibu."
Rosh couldn't exactly argue with the math on that one.
"Still," Wade shrugged, pausing by the door frame. "I'll ask around. See if any of my sketchy buddies want a genetic upgrade."
"Thanks, Wade. I appreciate it."
"Don't mention it, handsomest Shopkeeper in New York." Wade flashed his new, flawless grin one last time before pushing the door open. "Well, I'd better get moving. I still need to get home and cook a romantic dinner for my girl before she thinks I got kidnapped by a cult."
"Fair enough. Take care out there."
Wade waved a gloved hand over his shoulder as he stepped out. "You too, boss."
The little bell above the door rang out with a sharp, cheerful jingle, and a moment later, the crimson mercenary vanished into the bustling afternoon crowd of New York City.
Rosh stood behind the counter, watching the empty glass door as a massive wave of relief washed over him. He leaned back against the shelves, a genuinely satisfied smile spreading across his face.
After an entire month of soul-crushing failure, endless rejections, and zero progress... the Devil Fruit Supplier System had officially made its very first sale. The countdown had begun, and the world was never going to be the same.