Alice sat in the living room watching the clock on the wall. 7:00 PM. Her father said he would be home by now. She tapped her foot against the carpet impatiently while the TV played some show she wasn't paying attention to.
Her mother had finally gotten out of bed. For two days she had been sleeping, recovering from whatever had happened that night she went to party. Alice heard the shower running upstairs. She tried to focus on the television, but her mind kept drifting.
The water stopped. A few minutes later, Alice's mother came down the stairs. She looked tired even though she had slept so long. Her hair was wet and she wore her old bathrobe. She walked slowly to the couch and sat down next to Alice.
There was silence between them for a moment. Then her mother spoke.
"That boy at the party. Who was he?"
Alice felt her stomach drop. She knew this conversation was coming but she wasn't prepared for it. Not now at least.
"It's nobody," Alice said quickly. "Just some random guy from my class maybe."
Her mother looked at her with calm eyes. The medication made her seem relaxed, almost sleepy. But Alice knew better. Behind those calm eyes was always judgment.
"Why did you lie to me?" her mother asked. "You said you were going to a study group."
Alice clenched her fists. "Because you would never agree to let me go to a party. You never let me do anything."
"I care about you," her mother said. "That's why I worry."
Alice felt something snap inside her. All the years of anger came rushing to the surface. She tried to stay calm. She really tried.
"Then why did you overdose yourself when I was nine?" Alice asked. Her voice was quiet but sharp. "I cared about you too. What did you ever do for me?"
Her mother's face changed. The calm disappeared.
"You shouldn't talk to your elders like that," she said.
The room felt cold. Alice stared at her mother.
"I was in a bad place back then," her mother continued. "I didn't know how to raise you all alone."
Alice laughed but there was no joy in it. "Well I was in a bad place too. I needed to vent. I needed to socialize with people other than you and dad. I wanted to feel free. That's why I went to that party. Isn't that reason enough?"
Her mother stared at her like she had committed a crime. Like Alice was the worst daughter in the world.
"You have never truly protected me," Alice said. Her voice was shaking now. "I know that hurts to hear but it's true. All you ever did was set up rules that only I had to follow. You did whatever you wanted and never took any responsibility."
Her mother stood up from the couch. Her face was red.
"What haven't I done for you?" she yelled. "I was in the streets, Alice. Remember that. I was down to begging. Collecting scraps. All while being pregnant with you. I was pathetic. I did things I can never speak of. I did it all because of you."
Alice stood up too. She was taller than her mother now. She looked down at her.
"You can lie to Dad about this but you can't lie to me," Alice said. "You did it to survive. I was your least concern."
Her mother's eyes went wide. "No," she said. "I did it for you. Because I love you."
"Then did you love me when you let Uncle Trevor touch me?"
The words hung in the air like smoke.
"That's bullshit," her mother said. "That never happened."
"It did happen," Alice said. Her voice was getting louder. "You know it did. You let him come into my room. You let him—"
"Shut up!" her mother screamed. "Shut your mouth right now!"
"You let him touch me," Alice kept saying. "You knew what he was doing. You knew and you didn't stop him."
"I said shut up!"
Her mother's hand came across Alice's face. The slap was hard and loud. Alice's cheek stung.
"If you speak one more word I will kick you out RIGHT NOW," her mother said. Her voice was shaking with rage.
Alice didn't think. She just reacted. Her own hand flew up and slapped her mother across the face.
Her mother stumbled back. She held her cheek. Her eyes were full of shock and tears.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Alice shouted. "You raised me? Don't make me laugh. You only cared about money. You made me sleep with Uncle Trevor for money. You forged Grandma Sally's apartment bills and sold it off for money. You sold drugs for money. And you expect me to be grateful for that?"
Her mother started crying. Big tears rolled down her face.
"I did it all for you," she sobbed. "I married a half wit like Richard Hart all for you. So you could have a good life. A good education. I sacrificed everything for you."
Alice laughed but tears were running down her face too. "You're such a sick piece of shit, Mom."
Her mother ran back to her room. The door slammed shut. Alice could hear her wailing through the walls. The sound was terrible but Alice didn't feel sorry. She felt empty.
The doorbell rang.
Alice wiped her face with her sleeve. She took a deep breath and walked to the door. She opened it.
Her father or rather stepfather, Richard Hart stood there. He held a bottle of alcohol in one hand. The bottle was almost empty. His eyes were red and his clothes smelled like smoke.
Alice could tell he had heard everything. His face was pale. He took a long drink from his bottle before stepping inside.
"I'm going to heat up the food," Alice said quietly.
"Don't bother," Richard said. "I'm not hungry."
He dropped himself on the couch. He started flipping through TV channels with the remote. The lights from the screen danced across his tired face. He took another drink from his bottle.
Alice walked past him and went upstairs. She entered her room and shut the door behind her.
She stood in the middle of the room looking around. Her books were on the desk. Her clothes were in the closet. Everything looked normal but nothing felt normal anymore.
She walked back and forth in her room. She needed to get out of this house. She couldn't stay here. Not after what happened.
She thought about Melvin. Was he okay? She needed to see him. Check if he was alright.
Then she remembered. She had a private tuition class tomorrow at 8 PM. She could use that as an excuse to leave the house tonight.
Alice took out her phone. She fabricated a text from her tutor. She changed the name in her contacts to her teacher's name and typed out a message about needing to reschedule. Then she showed it to herself to make it real.
She got dressed in her jacket and jeans. She took a deep breath before opening her door.
Downstairs, Richard was still on the couch. His eyes were half closed from the alcohol. Alice walked up to him.
"Dad," she said showing her text message. "I have a tuition class at 8. Tommorows class got rescheduled."
Richard looked at her phone with his glassy eyes. "Okay," he said. "Go."
Alice didn't say anything else. She walked out the front door and closed it gently behind her.
The night air felt cool on her face. She walked to the bus stop and waited. The street was quiet. A few cars passed but no one stopped.
The bus came. Alice got on and took a seat near the back. She watched the houses go by through the window. She thought about everything her mother said. Every word felt like a knife but the pain wasn't as bad as before cause she lived through this a long time ago.
The bus stopped near Melvin's house. Alice got off and walked down the street. His house was small but luxurious with a white fence in front. The lights were on inside.
She rang the doorbell.
Melvin's stepmother opened the door. Her face looked tired and worried.
"Alice?" she said. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see Melvin," Alice said. "Is he okay?"
His stepmother nodded. "He's in his room. Come in."
Alice stepped inside. She saw Melvin's father sitting in the living room. He looked just as tired as his wife. He nodded at Alice.
"Thank you for coming dear," he said.
"Of course," Alice said.
She walked down the hallway to Melvin's room. The door was cracked open. She pushed it gently.
Melvin was in his bed under a thick blanket. Alice sat down on the chair next to his bed.
"Melvin," she said softly. "Are you okay?"
Melvin turned his head to look at her. His eyes were red and puffy.
"I'm fine," he said. His voice was hoarse.
"Why did you ask Damian to help me?" he asked.
Alice looked down at her hands. "I was really worried about you. When I heard you speak, I didn't know what to do. So I texted him."
Melvin nodded slowly. "I see."
His stepmother entered the room. She carried two glasses of chocolate milk and a plate of cookies. She set them down on the nightstand.
"Here," she said. "Drink something. You need to eat."
She sat down on the edge of Melvin's bed. She looked at Alice with tired eyes.
"Melvin has always been a bright child," she said. "I feel sad that I didn't know he was so stressed about his studies."
Alice nodded. She had made up the story about Melvin being stressed about mock tests. She felt bad lying but she couldn't tell the truth.
"I'm sorry I couldn't help him more," Alice said.
"You came to see him," his stepmother said. "That's more than enough. Before you, only one boy from the neighborhood came to check in on him. The other kids don't even call."
Alice looked at Melvin. His eyes were closed now. He looked exhausted.
"Melvin needs to rest," Alice said. "I should go."
She finished her chocolate milk and ate one cookie. Then she stood up.
"Thank you for having me," she said to his stepmother.
"No, no, thank you for coming," she said.
Alice walked out of the room. She said goodbye to Melvin's father in the living room. Then she went to the front door.
As she stepped outside, someone called her name.
"Alice."
She turned around. It was Charles Duncan. Melvin's uncle. He stood in the yard with one hand in his pocket and the other one holding a lit cigarette.
"Can I talk to you for a moment?" he asked.
Alice nodded. She walked over to him.
"Why did Melvin really do it?" Charles asked. His voice was quiet. "I know you used to date him. He used to talk to me about you. But recently he's been so different."
Alice looked down at her feet. The grass was wet with dew.
"Melvin is a lonely boy," she said. "He doesn't have many close friends at school. He keeps to himself a lot."
"But there must be something else," Charles said. "Something happened. I can see it in his eyes. I'm not blind."
"If there's anything else or any other reason for what he did, maybe Melvin will tell you himself," Alice said. "I can't speak for him."
She took a breath.
"We're just friends now anyway," she continued. "I'm already dating a guy named Damian. Damian Jones. He's a good guy. We met at the party."
Charles looked surprised. "Damian? The guy who helped Melvin?"
"Yes," Alice said. "I texted him and he went right away. He rescued Melvin."
Charles was quiet for a moment. Then he nodded.
"Thank you for being honest with me," he said.
Alice smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "I should go now."
She walked to the bus stop and waited. The night was cold and dark. She wrapped her arms around herself.
The bus came. Alice got on and rode back to her house. When she walked in, Richard was still on the couch. He had fallen asleep with the TV still on. Alice turned off the television and put a blanket over him.
Her mother's door was still closed. Alice could hear nothing from inside.
She went up to her room. She shut her door and locked it. She sat down on her bed and looked at the wall.
Everything felt broken. Her family was broken. Her life was broken.
Alice laid down on her bed and stared at the ceiling. She didn't cry. She was too tired for tears. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep. But sleep wouldn't come.
Tomorrow she would go to school. She would see Damian. She would see the other students. She would pretend everything was fine. But nothing was fine. Nothing would ever be fine again.