Kirito's Perspective
I stared down at the holographic projection, a swirling mass of blue and green that represented the world of Re:Zero. It was… weird. The planet itself was flat, a disc surrounded by an endless waterfall that cascaded into a void of nothingness. The laws of physics, as I understood them, simply didn't apply.
"Fucking stupid waterfall flat-world physics are goddamn impossible," I muttered, shaking my head in disbelief.
Yanking this world into our cluster, even with my powers, would be a disaster. The delicate balance of its reality, its bizarre, nonsensical existence, would shatter. But I couldn't just leave it be. Not this time.
I'd seen this world before. Not firsthand, of course, but through the pages of the light novels. Natsuki Subaru, the hapless protagonist, trapped in a cycle of death and despair, his every attempt to save those he cared about met with tragedy and heartbreak.
And Rem… poor Rem. Her fate, a cruel twist of fate orchestrated by a gluttonous, insatiable witch, was a wound that never truly healed.
I knew Subaru's story. I knew his pain. And I knew, with a certainty that transcended my usual cynicism, that he was a hero. A true hero, despite his flaws, his insecurities, his moments of crippling self-doubt.
And I was going to help him. Not just because it was the right thing to do, but because it would spite that Momonga asshole. That incompetent, karmically-challenged excuse for a Supreme Being who had ripped off Subaru's story with his own brand of accidental villainy.
"Yui," I said, turning to my daughter, my voice taking on a softer tone. "Do me a favor and fuel this bit of manipulation for me?"
Healer's Perspective
"Come on! Wake up! Rem, it's me!"
The young man, his voice raw with desperation, shook the still form of the blue-haired maid. Her face, pale and lifeless, was etched with a serene beauty that was both captivating and heartbreaking.
I watched the scene unfold, my heart heavy with pity. Even though I had no memory of this "Rem," even though her name meant nothing to me, I could feel the young man's pain, the raw, unfiltered grief that emanated from him like a physical force.
Were they lovers? Best friends? The thought flitted through my mind, but it was quickly dismissed. It didn't matter to anyone here anymore. Not to anyone else in this shattered battlefield claimed by death, the forgotten, the erased, and moonlight. The world had forgotten her. But he hadn't.
He turned towards me, his eyes wide with a desperate plea. "Heal her!" he demanded, his voice cracking with emotion. "You have to heal her!"
I shook my head sadly, my gaze falling upon the maid's still form. There was nothing I could do. Her wounds, invisible to the naked eye, were far beyond the reach of my healing magic. Her soul, her very essence, had been devoured, leaving behind an empty shell.
He didn't understand. He couldn't understand. The world had conspired to erase her from existence, to rob him of his memories, his love, his grief. But he clung to those fading fragments, his heart a shattered mirror reflecting a love that no one else could see.
I admired a will like that.
But it was tragic.
He slumped to the ground, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. The despair in his eyes, the utter hopelessness, was a sight that made my own heart ache. I was a healer, a man sworn to alleviate suffering, but in the face of such profound loss, I felt powerless.
He was another soul I couldn't save. Another tragedy I couldn't prevent.
I turned and walked away, leaving him alone with his grief, his memories, his impossible love. As I saw and Ignored him reaching for a blade, I knew he was beyond my reach. Beyond anyone's reach.
I kept walking.
This was one of the many things I had seen and will see.
After today, like every day, my tear ducts were dry from already crying.
Subaru's Perspective
I woke with a gasp, my heart pounding in my chest, my lungs burning as if I'd just run a marathon. The carriage lurched, its wheels bumping over the uneven road, the rhythmic swaying a jarring contrast to the chaotic storm raging within me.
My new save point. The carriage. After the mansion. After…
My eyes darted around frantically, searching for her. For Rem. For the one person who…
"Emilia," I said, my voice a strangled whisper, "you need to tell me. Do you know where Rem is?"
Emilia, her beautiful amethyst eyes filled with concern, frowned. "Subaru," she said, her voice soft and gentle, "who is Rem?"
A wave of despair, so intense it threatened to drown me, crashed over me. I knew the answer. I'd lived it. But I needed to hear it. I needed…
My hand instinctively reached into my pocket, grasping at something solid, something real. A book. I didn't think I had fallen to the point that I would get a damn gospel! I would throw it away-
A book bound in ancient brown leather, its cover embossed with a title that sent a shiver down my spine.
"The Sword God Emperor."
A strange calm settled over me as I held the book, a feeling of certainty that defied the despair gnawing at my heart. This book, this Sword God Emperor, held an answer. A way forward. A chance…
I opened the book, and the world snapped. Time froze, the carriage halting mid-motion, the very air around us solidifying into a silent tableau. Emilia, her concerned expression frozen on her face, stared at me with wide, unblinking eyes. Even the earth dragons, their powerful muscles tensed, their breath misting the air had stilled. We were caught in this timeless stasis.
The world turned monochrome, a stark landscape of black and white, as words, not written on the page, but etched into the very fabric of reality, filled my vision.
"All know that in order to start from zero in a blacksmith's forge, if you are to make an order for a sword to be used in battle, you must first take the step. The first step. If you turn this page, know that you are giving up everything and returning to your first day of life in our wonderful waterfall world. I know a few of you slip through the cracks and fall into this world from beyond the waterfall, here with no benefits or chance of survival. I will even give you a bonus of three years if so, your life will turn back time to arrive in this world before you did last time. I will train you. You will be the next Sword God. Every time you sleep, you will train to save those you truly lost."
My breath caught in my throat, my heart pounding against my ribs. Give up everything? Return to the beginning? But… Rem…
My fingers trembled as they hovered over the page. Could I do this? Could I sacrifice everything, for a chance to save her?
I turned the page.
The words vanished, but a new voice, a voice that boomed with an ancient power, filled the frozen air.
"Before the Witches, before Volcanica, the dragons hadn't blessed a soul yet, but even then, the conflict stood. There was the Sword God Emperor, the Rapier God Empress, there was his daughter, the Analytical God Princess."
The world shook, the carriage swaying precariously as the voice grew louder, its power resonating through my very being.
"ALL FELL BEFORE THE PRIME GLUTTONY. ALL WILL FALL AGAIN BEFORE THE PRIME GLUTTONY. ALL WILL FORGET UNLESS YOU SAVE THE WORLD IN 100 YEARS FROM THE PRIME GLUTTONY. THE WITCHES ARE NO TRUE THREAT, BUT I WILL TRAIN YOU TO FIGHT THEM REGARDLESS. UNTIL EVIL WILL NOT STAND IN YOUR PRESENCE, YOU WILL START FROM ZERO AND STEP FORWARD TO ONE. THROUGH YOU, MY SUCCESSOR, THEY WILL FINALLY REMEMBER US!"
A blinding flash of light. A disorienting sensation of movement, of time twisting and folding upon itself. And then…
I stood upon a floor of shimmering glass, a vast expanse of darkness stretching out before me. I took a step forward, and the darkness fluttered away, revealing a scene that sent a shiver down my spine.
A mural, etched into the glass beneath my feet, glowed with an eerie light. Three circles, each one containing a figure I recognized. Emilia, her hands clasped in prayer, her head bowed, her eyes closed, occupied the top circle. Below her, to the left, lay Rem, her form peaceful, as if asleep. And in the third circle, a grotesque, shadowy figure, a man with a twisted, hungry expression, reached towards them both.
"Only you can reach towards strength," a voice echoed, soft and distant.
"You alone can save the world from the Prime Gluttony," another voice whispered.
I stared at the mural, my heart a lead weight in my chest. The weight of responsibility, the burden of a destiny I hadn't asked for, settled upon me. But beneath the fear, beneath the despair, a spark of determination flickered to life.
I would start from zero. And I would step forward. For Emilia. For Rem. For the world. For the memory of those who had fallen.
I would become the Sword God.
---
I smiled, a sense of satisfaction settling over me as we transitioned to the next world on our list. Another conquest, another victory, another realm added to our ever-expanding empire. But the triumphant feeling was short-lived. The pocket dimension that housed our cluster of worlds, usually a seamless, instantaneous mode of transport, stuttered, the swirling void of colors and energy solidifying into a static, unsettling stillness.
And then, Yui was upon me, her expression a terrifying blend of fury and exasperation. Asuna stood beside her, arms crossed, her glare burning into me with an intensity that could rival a supernova.
"That last part was entirely unnecessary!" Yui shrieked, her voice echoing through the frozen dimension. "Do you have any idea how badly you just screwed everything for us?!"
"Umm… what?" I asked, genuinely bewildered. My strategic mind, usually a well-oiled machine of calculations and contingencies, sputtered, unable to process the sudden shift in atmosphere.
Yui's eyes narrowed, her voice taking on a chillingly calm tone that was far more terrifying than her initial outburst. "It seems that even with your Intelligence and Strategy domains, your Mathematics domain needs work. Do you know what I calculated? Hm? In 25 years, Subaru, the 'new Sword God,' will find a way to release 'the Sword God Emperor' – who, just to remind you, is based on you and formed from your mental attributes and personality – outside of the training space. After another 25 years, they will have gained that Eternal Youth Token, and Subaru, Emilia, and Rem – who somehow dragged her sister Ram into a polyamorous relationship with the four of them – whatever, just… four eternally young, powerful lower gods, and their multiversal training dad, while weaker than you, will grow. And when those four immortal lower gods find out that your divinity is all over the 'Prime Gluttony' that is hurtling towards the waterfall world and 'the Sword God Emperor,' and they start hunting for whatever asshole did whatever the shit they did and find you in 6 million years for a BATTLE OF UNENDING EXPLOSIONS MULTIVERSE BLAST STYLE NONSENSE, IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU TURNED A TRAINING ARC INTO A 'FIND THE ASSHOLE DEITY' D&D CAMPAIGN!"
Yui paused for breath, her chest heaving, her eyes blazing with a fury that could have melted a planet.
I stood there, stunned, my mind scrambling to catch up. I ran the calculations, my enhanced intellect struggling to comprehend the sheer scale of the clusterfuck I'd created.
Oh, fuck.
The realization hit me like a runaway train. I had, in fact, made all the errors.
"Take us back, Yui!" I exclaimed, my voice laced with panic. "Shit needs fixing!"
"I can't!" Yui shrieked, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "The very thought that I have enough processing power to just— go to a specific world in that cluster that we just left— are you my father or a moron?! The only reason I can target places is because there are multiples of them in the general multiversal area!"
I stared at her, my heart sinking. This was not good. Not good at all.
---
Right then. Well, bugger it all! Even my omniscience can't be expected to predict something like that. A multiversal deity hunt in six million years, all because Kirito decided to play god with a flat-world lore edit and a lovesick teenagers bad life on sad repeat.
Who knew a few misplaced divinities and a dash of karmic meddling and a side of causing more problems by accident could cause such a cosmic kerfuffle?
I did, but I didn't think Kirito would do something like that.
It appears our dear REAL Sword god Emperor has stumbled into a right proper pickle, a predicament that not even I, with my boundless wisdom and impeccable taste in interdimensional cocktails, could foresee.
Ahem. To put it bluntly, and with a level of clarity that even those knuckle-dragging troglodytes in the peanut gallery can comprehend: Kirito fucked around, and he will find out later. That is all.
Now, since I'm not doing my 'next time will he' thing out of disappointment, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with Lady Luck at the celestial craps tables in Space Vegas. Tata!
(The narrator vanishes in a puff of cosmic smoke, leaving behind a faint scent of gin and Kirito's genuine regret.)