"Huh. Wouldn't have taken you for a maiden, Top Heavy-chan."
Shortly after Banga had run off to the toilet to void the contents of his stomach, a woman in a green uniform had entered the prisoner processing room to finish the strip search he had started, as well as perform a cavity search, searching every nook and cranny of Sakura for contraband.
"Ugh…" Sakura groaned. "I can't be a bride any more…"
"Oh, don't be a baby," the female officer said lightly, giving the clear fluid dripping from her gloved fingers a lick. "You're lucky. The women's cells are much nicer than the men's, but that doesn't mean they're any less… freaky."
Sakura glowered at the female officer as she quickly put her clothes back on.
"You know, I was raised on a farm," the female officer went on. "Before I came here, I spent my childhood raising ducks, watching them, feeding them, playing with them. And you know what I've learned?"
"No," Sakura grunted, "but I've got a feeling you're about to tell me anyway."
The woman smiled. As she walked past Sakura on her way to the door, she leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Humans are just like ducks," she sniggered. "Isolate them by gender, and before you know it… man or woman, they start humping each other, even if the parts don't match. It usually takes a few months, but you… I wouldn't give you a week before you start the scissor dance with your fellow inmates."
Sakura's face went pink.
"No, no, no," she spluttered a second later, waving her hand. "You're wrong."
"Liar!" sang the female officer. "You were definitely thinking about it, just now!"
With that, Sakura's processing was finished. When she returned to the custody suite's hall, she found that her two new prisoner acquaintances were nowhere to be seen. She did not have the luxury of looking for them, though, as a guard quickly fetched her and took her to her cell in the kunoichi holding area, in a small building set apart from the castle keep.
"Enjoy your time in the Garden of Lilies," the faceless guard sniggered as he pushed Sakura inside her cell. "If I were you, I'd watch out for the big one… she likes them big and soft like yours."
Leaving her with those ominous words, the guard locked Sakura inside her cell for the night and left, his keys jingling tantalisingly as he walked away. On top of escaping, Sakura now had a new objective: protecting her virginity from rabid female prisoners. Throat and back could be given away if she absolutely had to, but front had to be safeguarded at any cost!
After experimenting with large insertions, Sakura had discovered that repairing her maidenhood was a rather tricky task, requiring her to flirt with the limits of her flexibility and contort her body so her Mystical Palms could reach her deepest parts.
In other words, more effort than was worth the trouble.
"Oh, well," Sakura whispered to herself. "Creation Rebirth regenerates everything, so there's always that."
Sakura glanced around.
Prison cells offered little privacy. She had a thin, bloodstained futon and a small hole in the floor in which to do her business, and that was about all her cell contained. Many of her fellow inmates were already fast asleep, but at any moment, any one of them could peer into her cell and watch her satisfy her urges…
"This sucks," Sakura groaned. "This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me…"
'The worst thing that's happened to me… yet!' said Inner Sakura. 'Oh great, I'm hearing voices again. Shut up. No, you shut up!'
Sakura slapped her cheeks raw. This was no time to be going loopy. She had to think. How exactly was she going to escape from Hōzuki Castle? She shook her head. Escaping was pointless unless she could somehow gain the strength to survive Pain's assault. But how exactly could she accomplish such a thing?
She sat cross-legged and began thinking about her finishing moves.
"Genjutsu… Chakra Enhanced Strength… Fire Style… Plasma Style… Wood Style… Lightning Style Chakra Mode… Lorentz Gun… the Body Revival Jutsu… Sage Mode… or the Mangekyō Sharingan?"
Many of Pain's Six Paths were useless, but two were incredibly dangerous. There was, of course, Tendō Pain's Deva Path, the most perilous of all, requiring her to memorise his gravity manipulation's cooldown timing, and Gakidō Pain's Preta Path, which could absorb all Ninjutsu— a Boruto-era cheat power.
Asura, Human, Animal, and Naraka weren't too dangerous, Sakura thought. The real problem was their shared vision, and their ability to swarm her. It was impossible to catch one of the puppets off guard as long as it remained within another's sight.
"As expected, I'll have to master Sage Mode," Sakura muttered, nodding to herself. "With Sage Mode, I'd easily be able to escape this prison, so it'd be like killing two birds with one stone."
There was only one major problem with Sakura's plan: training in Shikkotsu Forest's Sage Mode without even being able to summon Katsuyu to ask for guidance was even worse than hell-mode difficulty. If she messed up, she would be irreversibly turned into a slug.
"Maybe I could force a regression if I fail," Sakura thought out loud. "I don't want to spend my life as a slug in jail…"
Sakura shook her head again.
Relying on her future self to have the guts to kill herself if she failed was a terrible idea, and there was no guarantee that Shion's Dōjutsu would activate if she was already within a larger regression loop. Besides, regressing meant another timeline where her loved ones would have to deal with her death. She had to think of something else. The answer had to lie within one of the powers she had already acquired.
In the end, Sakura decided that before anything else, she needed to check just how much chakra she could mould despite the Celestial Prison Cursed Seal. She closed her eyes and drew some physical energy from her cells like she had done a million times before, channelling it through her pathways and gathering it in the pit of her stomach, before crashing her spiritual energy into it anticlockwise.
"It doesn't hurt…?"
Encouraged by her success, Sakura moulded more and more chakra, until at last, the slumbering seal branded on her chest began smouldering. The heat grew exponentially, forcing Sakura to stop before she burst into flames. She could summon about 10% of her strength, which was enormous for the average civilian shinobi.
"So, that's how it is…" Sakura muttered to herself as she took off her top and hefted her heavy hangers. "My boobs are so stupidly huge that they deform the Celestial Prison's jutsu formulae!"
Sealing runes required to be set perfectly in order to function, and in the places where they stretched to follow Sakura's ridiculous curves, the circuitry fizzled out and lost most of its efficacy! If she grew some more, Sakura reckoned she'd be able to access even more of her chakra.
And as long as she kept her ability to manipulate chakra on the down low, her captors would never realise she had conserved her powers! She had just found exactly what she needed to plot her escape… and her training.
Feeling rather smug, Sakura kicked off her spats and panties and went to the hole in the floor to relieve herself, having held it in for quite a while… only to find, right between her thighs as she squatted, a face as white as snow staring back at her from the dark hole.
"What does it feel like to poo?" White Zetsu asked earnestly. "Does it feel good?"
"GYAAAAAAH!!" screamed Sakura.