"This Was the Only Way"
Bang.
My face was hit by Nile's fist, his anger leashed out, and tears and sadness poured down as he collapsed to the ground.
"Elliot! That Runic is sick! He's not right in the head! God forsaken us… the fucker! Did you even look at his hands?"
"What about them? He lost some. Now he has shiny silver prosthetics." I said getting up from the punch.
"No, no, no. Those prosthetics are just tools to him."
"Elliot, that Runic is smart—but not only that—he's free to leave the village."
"You know what that means. He's dangerous. He lives here not because of some inclination of pride or spite; he's here because he's an outlaw."
"Those kinds of people are hunted. They're wanted. That man has been living in Nathan for only a year or two, my uncle told me about… but because of…" Nile stopped and looked at me.
"You have cursed us. How are we supposed to get two containers? There's only three of us, plus you. We can't split up. If we do…"
"Time is our enemy, but also our ally."
"Elliot, what the hell? Time—we have no clue. Where they go, we follow. When the time comes for us to target one of these rats, we'll have to be twice as fast and intercept another."
"I have something that can help. Just trust me."
"Now tell me how!"
"You just have to. I made the same wager as you all did."
"No, no, no. It was you, not us. You!"
"Shut up, Nile. I said I would help. And here I am—about to make enough to eat full all through the winter now…"
"Just believe him," Scar said.
"Yeah, Elliot must have made a wager like that knowing he could succeed."
"Okay, Elliot, I'll take it. But no—this when your hands need to be traded, it will be you going by yourself to the Bloody Shop!"
Walking, his hands were pocked and scarring as he pushed past me.
"Wait, we still need to talk."
"I know. Let's get moving. We don't have all night. Now, what do you want to ask?" he said, looking at me. This feeling was different—not firm, not a sense of authority, but an inclination to help, a sense of kinship rising in the great unknown.
"Max—how does that tie it all together?" Elliot asked.
"I thought you worked with Max?"
"That does not mean I know anything about him. He always gives me a weird smile, as if he's looking beyond my flesh into my heart. It's fucking creepy," I said, shivering all over in disgust.
"Okay, Max—he's the worst. And most of all, he owns most of the streets. Those slums, the drug trade—they're all affected by his spice."
"You're telling me the child is a drug lord?"
"Not only a drug lord, but more like a demon in disguise. And never, ever meet his second-hand man alone. Never. Be wary of Will."
"Will? What about him? Are you talking about Will who works with me?"
"Yes, that Will—the nice tall Will. That guy is also the worst. He's an executioner. What these two do, they work with soldiers… well, that's what my boys, who I still talk to, say. The thing is, Will's dad was once the village lord. But after Lord Nathan—who is now the 'leader of the village'—executed the previous lord, in what was essentially banishment at its finest, Will was left only to manage the shady workings of the village. Now, what's left are just small thugs worshipping the psycho past lords' so-called improvements."
"So Jack and the old man… were powerful?"
"Not only powerful, but I heard it was Izic who banished him."
"Izic the hunter?"
"Yes, Elliot. That guy is strong."
I kept asking more questions, wanting to understand more. I asked about Runic and the world—how it all worked. He couldn't provide much. I figured out that Runics were crazy, but insanely smart, people who studied the powers that gave energy to the Chaos Crystal. At the price of understanding, some even lost their hands.
"I remember a saying my father said to me, that my uncle repeats again and again:'From great truths to great lies, chaos rides on a bridge. And when one wishes to ride the laws that be, one seeks the truths of the runes that lay on the bridge of chaos.'"
Nile paused and continued.
"I never understood it, but now it makes more sense. Power is chaos, and chaos is the greatest piece of power."
...
Walking back home, the bitterness never left, even after Nile and I made up. The walk into the slums felt heavier with every step, and I reminisced on these past days. From Earth to Ender—what a world, what a life, and what more could it possibly offer me? Some nights, I still wished, I still dreamed it was all a dream. That I was Ash once more, with my friends, with the lost hopes, with all the things that had never been set right.
But at last, I am not Ash. I am Elliot. I must accept it and let go. Maybe I could still seek out the world beyond that hope. If gods do exist, maybe I can ask them how I ended up here.
Who knows?
Walking into my hut, the past days returned to me—the faint smell of blood still lingered, thin as the cold air. What was left now was simple: to pack.
I gathered all my things. Today I wore only rags for work, but with my need to look alive instead of dead, I decided I would throw away my old clothes tomorrow.
My heart burned with strength, with a strange flame. I felt that in the next seven days, I would not only find a way to get the container, but also have enough to live comfortably through the winter.
I gathered my things, ate the last of the grain, filling my stomach. I laughed instead of crying. Today was not only the first time I had a sandwich in this world, but also two full meals. My body felt so alive inside, and the comfort of the food led me to feel whole once more.
With it, I gathered not only the strange book but the crystal. I had decided to leave early enough to find a place to change, take a bath of some kind, and rest in a real bed.
I wrapped my tiny piece of silver in my shoes, while everything else I hid between the two layers of my long pants and shirt.
Out of the slums of the village, I entered the inner region. There were more than seven hundred villagers here, so the homes were many. The paths widened, stone replacing mud. In the inner region, life was louder, steadier. Following the advice of the strangers this morning, and even asking Nile too, I had a list of inns to choose from. Out of all the names, the best seemed to be…
"Welcome to Moonshine," a girl said, looking at me. Her face was small, almost childlike, but cute. She looked about five years older than me, but with her looks she could easily be older, and I would believe her.
"Sorry, we don't offer slum rats for free," she said from behind the counter. There seemed to be more than two people sitting in the inn's dining area—wooden chairs, brown wooden doors—it was cozy, comfortable.
"No, no, I have money," I said, looking at her.
"Oh, really?" she asked.
"Yes." Out of my hands came two silver coins, shown just enough, not too much, so it wouldn't look strange for a kid by himself.
"Oh… sorry," she said, surprised at the sight.
"Can you give me your name?" she asked, smiling. Her white bouffant was beautiful, not too bright in color, a little dirty, but she wore a strap of cloth that pushed her hair up, giving her short ear-length hair a fairy-like look.
"My name is Elliot," I said, looking straight at her. I tried to smile, but I stopped myself. I had no clue how bad my teeth were. I just hoped there was a mirror so I could see my ugly self.
"What is yours?" I asked.
"Mine is Mel," she said with a kind smile. Even though her teeth were white, the center ones were uneven and slightly separated.
"Okay. These two silvers can get you five nights here. There are five spots available for you to sleep in—look, this shows the open spots."
She handed me a sheet that showed a map of the small inn. There were only two floors: the first for staff and the owner, the second with ten small rooms for guests.
"I'd like one with a mirror and body essentials."
"Oh, that's no problem. Room three is the best choice, soft and perfect if you want…"
"Room three sounds great." Letting go of the silver, she grabbed it.
As I started walking, she explained the gist of the services. They offered beer and food, morning meals were free, dinner cost money. That was fine with me; eating in the morning would be enough. The best part about this inn, I'd heard, was that they were kinder, more respectful than the others, and they never closed during winter.
"Here it is!" Mel said.
Looking at room three, it was a corner room—nice and wide. On the left was a bed, on the right a desk with a chair, and on the wall hung a mirror I could finally use to get a better look at myself.
The light of the room was yellow as the crescent sun fell. Its glow spilled through the window above the bed on the right. It was beautiful.
"Is the window too much? I can—"
"Thank you, Mel. This is perfect," I said, smiling at her before quickly turning.
"You have a nice smile," she said as she walked back. "Dinner for the first night is always free to new customers."
"That sounds great. I'll be eating a lot," I told her, smiling once again.
My hands clasped the doorknob as I closed the door. My new home. My new place. A place that I knew would be with me for a while.
...
"Look who it is," Mel said.
I looked at her. She gave me a bright smile. This time, I held in the smile. My teeth were the only thing that looked clean in the mirror after seeing myself.
My body was ragged like my clothes. My skin pale as snow, I still looked half-dead. My eyes, dark blue with a golden ring, gave me the look of some divine devil. But the most annoying thing was my damn hair. Too long, reaching my knees. My knees.
After eating, I would take a bath. And cut my hair.
"So, what would you like?" she asked.
I sat at the nearest table to the front desk. Looking at the menu, I had no clue what the foods were. I could make out some words, but everything else was beyond me.
"Elliot," she said, "I'd say my favorite would be the fried meat with rainbow bread."
"Then I will have that."
I could only assume she had decided to help me, because she damn well knew I had no idea what I was looking at. With my understanding, learning to read needed to be a priority.
Waiting what felt more than a minute or two, I looked outside. The sun would be down in thirty minutes or less.
Shit. I forgot to buy two new pairs of clothes. Do I still have time? I need to ask Mel.
"Hey, Mel!" I rang the bell on the counter to get her attention.
"What is it?"
"I was hoping to buy new clothes. Do you know any shops close by, or would the food be done too early?"
"Oh… let me think. Well, there is a small shop that sells both winter and summer clothes. She's an old lady, but I think she closes in thirty minutes or an hour. That's the only place I know. Her name is Miss Ellie."
She continued, "You could get there in a minute or two."
"What about the food?"
"We close dinner late, my boy, about three hours from now. You've got time. Go. Also, I'll prep the bath for you. When you're back, you can eat and then bathe. Does that work?"
Man, the service in this inn is great. Or maybe I just smell like shit. Probably that.
I walked quickly to the small clothing shop. It took me less than a minute. I just hoped the lady was kind enough to still help.
The door was glass, the whole place lit warmly inside.
Opening the door, I called, "Hello, Miss Ellie?"
"Who is it? Oh… who are you, boy?"
I explained who I was and what I wanted. Her face seemed tired from my request, but she lit up when she measured my height.
"Look here, boy. Not only will you look great, but I've got clothes clean and tough for the winter. Some small nobleman came to the village, wanted something for his child before leaving. He left this, said he didn't need it. So here—you've got clothes that'll fit you perfectly. How lucky are you?"
"How much?" I asked, staring at the two pairs of clothes. One was all black leather, thick with fur, with a hood for winter. The other was a clean white long shirt that fit perfectly, with dark blue pants—tight, sharp, something I could use later.
"Two silver."
"I'll give you a second to think about it," Ellie said, heading into the back.
I hated the price, but these clothes were perfect for winter—hundreds of times better than my rags. I had already decided to throw those away, to feel liberated from my original state.
Walking out of the store, I decided to buy the clothes. I pulled the silver from my shoe, leaving me with only sixteen left. Poor again.
Walking back into the inn, not only was I feeling good, but after putting my new clothes in my room, I could already smell the cooked meat in front of me, paired with bread that was sweet and soft.
The bread was rich, buttery, the best bread I'd ever eaten. The meat was tender like steak, brought from traders and sheep farmers outside the village.
"You like Red sheep?" Mel asked.
"Yes. It's the best."
"Red sheep are the best. I love them too," she said.
We kept talking. I came to understand she was the daughter of the inn's owner—Moonshine was her last name. She explained business had been slow but steady, with some soldiers using this place for entertainment. I understood her meaning, and it put a bit of ice in me at the thought of sleeping in one of the beds.
But once I got into the hot bath, all that changed.
The baths were on the second floor, two of them tucked at the back of the inn. It was better than I hoped—not only did they offer a new toothbrush, they even had clippers for hair. I was worried I'd have to use my dagger to cut mine.
Good thing they had clippers.
Getting into the soaped pool of warm water, naked, I felt comfort rush over me. I scrubbed myself with brushes, washing out the filth, grime, and all the impurities of my skin. It took a while, but when I finished, the water was dark from all the dirt.
I stepped into the second bath, extra clean, and stayed in for over an hour. My mind and body finally cooled, finally rested.
Walking out, the bathroom had a mirror. Fog covered it, but I wiped it clean. I wanted to see me—the new me. The New Elliot.
There I was. My skin, less pale, vibrant, shining. My hair glimmered instead of swallowing darkness. My eyes, once heavy and tired, now full, alive. My scars were gone. I looked like a newborn.
Into the light, I reached for my hair.
Thin strands fell as I began cutting. Each snip felt like negative energy leaving me. My hair, once down to my knees, now hung just below my ears.
I asked Mel if she had hair ties. Thankfully, she had some. I tied the remaining length back into a ponytail. Now, I looked less like a killer from my nightmares, more like… a model, maybe.
Walking out of the bath, opening the door, I wore my new white shirt and dark blue pants with my old shoes. I looked like a true commoner, not some homeless child from the slums.
"Hello… Elliot."
"Hello, Mel," I said, smiling wide. My teeth should have been spotless now, my gums still bleeding from scrubbing the filth away.
"You look like… a prince," Mel said, hands to her face, shocked at my new look.
I nodded at her with a smile, gave her the towels back, and then entered my room. My body warm, my mind cool and calm. At last, I rested in a new home.
Author's Note:
Red Sheep: They are like hairless red cows. When their fur sheds, it means their bodies have matured and are ready to be eaten. They are one of the most common foods of Ender.