That day, we had gone to the park.
I had sat on a bench a little off to the side, arms crossed, absentmindedly watching the leaves move under the wind. Neru, he had already disappeared into the tumult of laughter. He was talking with other children his age as if he had known them forever. I could see him gesturing, telling something with enthusiasm, moving from one group to another without the slightest hesitation.
It was strange to watch.
Neru had this almost disconcerting ability to get along with everyone. He talked about everything, without fear of ridicule, without calculation. He could shift from an absurd topic to a serious question with an ease that completely surpassed me. Where I chose silence as armor, he advanced with face uncovered.
I caught myself thinking that, if he had been born in another context, he would have had a normal life. Maybe even a happy one.
After a long moment, he came back to me, out of breath, with a wide smile.
— Ravena! Did you see? I won at their game, even though I didn't know the rules at first!
— Good for you, I replied simply.
He sat next to me, swinging his legs in the air.
— You could play too, you know.
— No.
— Why?
I shrugged.
— It's not for me.
He looked at me sideways, intrigued, but didn't push. After a moment, we got up to go home. The sun was beginning to descend slowly, tinting the sky orange.
On the way back, Neru walked a little ahead of me, then slowed down to match my pace.
— Ravena… can I ask you a question?
— If you want.
— Why are you always so… cold?
I stopped for a moment.
— There are just people like that, I replied finally. And I'm one of them. That's all.
He frowned slightly.
— But you're not cold with me.
I resumed walking without responding.
***
We were almost there when everything turned upside down.
The alley was narrow, poorly lit. I sensed the danger a fraction of a second too late. Silhouettes emerged from the shadows, fast, determined. Dry voices. Orders. Weapons.
— Give us everything you've got.
I didn't have time to think.
Instinctively, I raised my hands. The money, the vials, everything could go. It was nothing. It never had been.
But before I could say a word, Neru stepped in front of me.
— Don't hurt her!
I felt my heart freeze.
— Neru, step back, I said sharply.
He didn't listen.
He positioned himself in front of me, arms slightly spread, trembling, but determined.
— Take whatever you want… but leave her.
I saw the movement too late.
A blow. Brutal. Fast.
Neru was thrown to the ground.
Time seemed to distort.
— Neru!
I rushed toward him, my mind still refusing to understand. He was lying there, breathing heavily, a wound bleeding at his side.
Something broke inside me.
It wasn't fear.
It wasn't ordinary anger.
It was a pulsation. A visceral urgency.
I felt the magic rise before I even summoned it.
My body moved on its own.
The ground vibrated. The air thickened. An invisible pressure fell on the robbers. They backed away, panicked, as if crushed by something they could neither see nor understand.
— What the…?!
I wasn't listening anymore.
Seals formed instinctively around my hands. Raw magic, protective, almost wild. The weapons fell. The men were thrown against the walls like disarticulated puppets.
— Run.
My voice was no longer mine.
They didn't wait a second longer.
When the silence fell again, I dropped to my knees beside Neru.
— Are you okay? I said in a voice too low, too urgent.
He opened his eyes slowly.
He smiled.
Weakly.
— I'm fine… I think.
I placed my hands on his wound, trembling. The magic flowed, but this time it was different. Gentler. More focused.
I wasn't thinking anymore. I wasn't calculating anymore.
I was protecting.
— Why… did you do that? I whispered.
He breathed in with difficulty.
— I don't know… my body moved on its own.
Those words struck me full force.
Because I had just understood.
I knew exactly what that meant.
I finished the healing, stopping the hemorrhage, stabilizing his condition. He fell asleep almost immediately, exhausted.
I stayed there, for a long time, gaze lost.
I didn't understand what had just happened.
Normally, I would have let the robbers take what they wanted. Normally, I wouldn't have done anything. Normally, I would have protected only myself.
But there…
It was different.
For the first time, I hadn't used my magic to survive.
I had used it for someone else.
And that truth terrified me more than any malevolent spirit.
I took Neru in my arms to bring him home.
And with every step, a thought returned, insistent, impossible to ignore:
If someone could make me act like this…
then someone could also break me.
When we arrived home, night had already fully settled.
Neru was sitting on the sofa, back straight, hands on his knees. He wasn't looking at the television or the fire in the hearth. He was staring at the floor, with an oddly serious air for a child his age. I set down my things, still a bit shaken by what had happened, then turned to him.
— Ravena… he said softly.
— Yes?
— Can I ask you a question?
I approached a little closer and sat in front of him.
— Go ahead.
He hesitated. His fingers clenched on the sofa fabric, then he took a breath.
— Do you… do you have a boyfriend?
The question hit me full force.
I felt the heat rise to my cheeks without being able to hold it back. I shook my head quickly, a bit caught off guard.
— No. I don't.
He immediately lowered his head and hugged a cushion against himself, as if seeking to cling to it.
— And do you think… I could be your boyfriend?
My eyes widened.
For a second, I thought I had misheard. My mind froze, unable to process what this young boy had just said. Before I could respond, he stood up abruptly from the sofa.
His fists were clenched, his gaze determined despite the tremor in his voice.
— I will become a man! I will protect you! You will never lack for anything! I will work, I will fight if I have to, I will do everything to give you what you want!
I instinctively placed a hand on my chest.
My cheeks burned.
He was sincere. Terribly sincere.
It wasn't a whim.
It wasn't a game.
He really loved me, in his own way, with the purity and absoluteness of childhood.
I took a deep breath before responding.
— Sorry, Neru… I said softly. Young boys like you… can't date women like me.
He raised his head, eyes shining.
— Why?
— Because you're still very young. You haven't even passed fifteen yet… and me, I've already passed twenty. It's not something you choose.
He clenched his fists harder.
— It's unfair! Who decided that rule, huh?
A light laugh escaped me despite myself. I brought a hand to my mouth to hide it.
— That's how it is, I replied simply.
He took a step toward me, eyes full of hope.
— And if I get bigger… will you be able to date me?
I stood up slowly and approached him.
I placed my hand on his head and stroked it gently. His hair was warm under my fingers, and I felt his body relax despite himself.
— Neru… I whispered. It's not a promise I can make.
His face tightened.
— So… is it my fault? Because I'm weak… because I couldn't protect you earlier…
— No.
My voice became firmer.
I knelt in front of him to be at his level and gently took his face in my hands.
— What you did today… it was courageous. Far more than many adults would have dared.
His lips trembled.
— But I still got you hurt… he said in a breath. If I hadn't been there, you wouldn't have risked anything…
My heart tightened.
— Listen to me well, Neru. You didn't put me in danger. You reminded me of something I had forgotten.
He looked at me, confused.
— What?
— That protecting someone… is not a weakness.
He lowered his eyes, silent for a long moment, then shyly raised his head.
— So… can I at least be your little brother?
Those words were more painful than his first question.
And yet… they seemed right to me.
I smiled softly.
— No problem at all.
I got fully on my knees in front of him, placed my hands on his shoulders, and declared in a clear voice:
— From today on, you are my little brother. Neru Solenne. That's your new name.
His eyes widened.
— Solenne… he repeated. Like you?
— Yes.
For a second, he stayed frozen. Then his face lit up with an immense smile. He threw himself into my arms without warning and hugged me with all his strength.
— Thank you… big sister.
I stayed motionless for a moment, surprised.
Then, slowly, I placed my arms around him.