The sixth year of Hogwarts brought something new to my curriculum, something I'd been looking forward to... somewhat.
Apparation practice!
Of course, I already know how to apparate; I'd managed that midway through my second year, without puking, using wand, of course. It took me another month to manage it wandlessly It's not all that difficult as it turns out. At least not for me. Because really, it wasn't all that complicated. At least not if you practiced wandless magic regularly. It helps if you don't let your wand do the heavy lifting all the time, which handily explains why most wizards find Apparation so... challenging? Yes, challenging. Their minds and magic have grown fat and undisciplined due to the lack of adversity.
I can't blame the kids too much, they are kids. The adults though, such a damn shame. Wasted potential the lot of 'em.
Still, I was looking forward to an opportunity to show off a little, so I'd signed up for the Ministry of Magic Apparation lesson. It cost me 12 galleons, which was legalized highway robbery. I mean, that's almost twice as much as what you pay for a wand! I guess you can always trust the government to rob you blind if given the chance. No magic needed. I was a bit surprised when Nel showed up and told me she'd signed up for the class too, but I was glad for the company. Not that I needed any moral support, but it would be fun to see what she had to say after it was all over.
The Class took place in the great hall since it was the biggest room in the castle, at least that most knew about. I knew a few more that were much bigger. All the tables had been cleared away, probably sent down to the kitchens, or they might have been shrunk and tucked away somewhere convenient, I dunno. It was amusing to think that this would actually be my first time in this place. I'd passed by regularly, and looked in a few times, but I'd never actually had any reason to go inside. Strange really, I'd been here six years, longer even, and I'd never been inside the one place all the students visit daily.
As I entered I noticed that there was a multitude of circles painted on the floor in various sizes, from large enough to hold five people comfortably, to small ones that would likely force anyone that stepped into them to put their feet close together. It didn't take a genius to figure out that they would likely be used for target practice, to test our accuracy. I didn't see much problem with that. I looked around at the rest of my classmates, a fairly big turnout, about twenty in all with me and Nel.
The teacher for this little lesson was a short, fat, arrogant looking little son-of-a-bitch with more chins then half the class, and probably a few more hidden under his clothes. That image made me throw up a little in my mouth. Despite being shorter than half his class he still managed to seem like he was looking down his long pointed nose at us. Now that I think about it, he actually reminded me of a less handsome Danny DeVito when he was playing the Penguin. All he needed was one of those off white onesies instead of the tent that was serving as his robes, and hair. He looked like an egg wrapped up in a blanket.
"Alright, I believe we are all here, gather around, gather around." The ministry official called out in a high nasal voice that made my hackles rise. God, that was the most annoying voice I thin I'd ever heard!
"Ugh!" Nel grunted, apparently agreeing with me.
"I hope you have all done the required reading as you were instructed when you signed up for this class. I will, however, as it is mandated by the ministry, give you a quick refresher on the subject," He announced and made it sound like it was the height of privilege to have him make the effort. "For those that are not aware my name is Ronald Cattermole, you may call me Mr. Cattermole, or Sir. Is that understood?"
There was a halfhearted murmur of agreement from the crowd. Ronald looked faintly constipated. What did he expect? For a bunch of irreverent teenagers to snap to attention because he tried to be authoritative? He'd have a better chance to grow wings and learn to fly.
Mr. Catterwaul cleared his throat and fussed with his clipboard in a failing attempt to look like he knew what he was doing. "Very well, let's get started. As I hope you have all read, the art of Apparation rests on the foundation of what the ministry refers to as The Three D's: Destination, Determination, and Deliberation. To expand, that means that if you wish to accomplish a successful Apparation, you must be completely determined to reach one's destination, and move without haste, but with deliberation."
So it would be more accurate to say that it was Determination, Destination and then Deliberation. Or more simply, focus, don't rush and keep in mind where you want to go. It's simple, provided that you've got the focus. That's where most wizards fail. They don't have to learn how to do that because everything comes so very easily. There is no resistance, and they don't seek it out, even if they might realize that it's good for them. I can't blame them, no really, but it does hamper them. That was something I realized before I even came to this world. Mostly because it held true back home as well, even if there wasn't any magic there.
"Now that everyone is caught up we will begin. As I read your name you will step up and attempt to Apparate from the ring here beside me, to one of the large ones on the far end of the room. It is highly unlikely that anyone will manage this on their first attempt and each one of you should expect at least some manner of splinching to occur which is why the Ministry has assigned three medi-witches to oversee these lessons." He continued and gestured towards the three women who were standing silently to the side.
"Now then, Andreas Ahlgren, step forward." He announced.
I smirked faintly to myself. The benefit of having both a first name and a last name that started with the letter A was that I was usually called up first. Well, its a benefit now, didn't much like it during my first trip through school back home. Ronald gave me a once over and I saw a spark of recognition in his eyes.
He knew who I was.
"Mister Ahlgren. We have heard of you at the Ministry," he said, confirming my suspicion. Now the question was; was that a good thing or a bad thing for me. "You have accomplished some impressive feats of magic if rumors are true. Of course, we have also heard that you are something of a delinquent. You might want to curb the last part if you want to go anywhere in this world."
Go anywhere. Meaning working at the Ministry of Magic. Yeah, I think I'll be skipping that option, thanks. If I wanted to join a bunch of asskissers I'd just as well hook up with the Piddle's little band of masochistic buttboys. "I'll keep that in mind." I drawled, purposely omitting any sign of respect.
"You do that," Ronald said while giving me a suspicious look. I judged that my rep with MoM was middle of the road. Talented enough to garner attention, but too rambunctious to be easily controlled. I was probably not distinguishing myself enough for them to try to put more pressure on me. "Now, I want you to try to move from this circle to the large circle on the other side of the room. I trust you have done the required reading."
"Of course." I conformed before I closed my eyes for a moment before moving myself to the other side of the room.
I looked back across the room and listened to the startled exclamations from the rest of the class. I made a show of looking around and gave myself a quick patdown, to seemingly check for any injuries, before giving the crowd a wave. I smiled, time to put on a little show. I then started to quickly pop around the room, aiming for the smallest circles. I wished I had a camera around to record this, it probably looked fairly impressive from the outside. I ended the first part of my demonstration by appearing disconcertingly close to the ministry official, who jumped in fright at my sudden arrival.
"You know, this isn't as hard as I thought it would be," I said conversationally, before adopting a thoughtful look. "I wonder if momentum is maintained."
I disapparated again before Ronald could get a word out, but instead of appearing in one of the rings on the floor I snapped into being again high up in the air, near the roof of the hall, right in the middle of the cloudy looking sky illusion. I could hear the startled yells as they saw me drop from up high before I apparated again, this time appearing upside-down not far from the group and shooting off towards the ceiling. At the apex of my teleport assisted jump, I apparated again, appearing in front of Ronald and dropping the half foot to the floor. I gave him a nod.
"Seems it does," I said with a pleased smile. I'd practiced the maneuver before of course, inside the Room of Requirement, which could manifest the appropriate safety nets and cushions I needed for when I got it wrong. And I had gotten it wrong. Repeatedly... It's hard to get used to that sudden feeling of vertigo as you start falling, it fucks with your concentration something fierce. Took me several dozen tries before I managed to acclimate to it enough to keep my focus. And then I had to get used to appearing upside down.
It had been fun though.
Mr. Catterfart stuttered incoherently, his face flushed ether in anger or shock, I wasn't sure. It looked unhealthy though. Someone with his... expansive... waistline probably shouldn't get that excited. It couldn't be good for his heart, or his blood pressure.
"M-M-Mr. A-ahlgren. Never in m-my time have I-I seen such a flagrant disregard for one's safety!" He managed finally, gathering steam as he went. "You could have been seriously hurt had you not managed to apparate again before you hit the floor!"
I was a bit surprised when the rest of the students started to laugh quietly, but I quickly realized why. Our dear teacher didn't though and turned on the giggling gaggle of schoolchildren, wagging a finger telling them off.
"This is hardly a laughing matter, children. This sort of behavior is precisely why the Ministry is in charge of these lessons as it is quite obvious that this school has become far too lax in instilling discipline in its students! Not to mention basic compassion. Your schoolmate could have been seriously hurt, and here you stand laughing. You should be ashamed of yourselves!" He squeaked angrily.
I rolled my eyes at the drama. Now, don't get me wrong, I was a bit touched by his words. I didn't think this government stooge had it in him but apparently, this old boy had a bit of a soft spot for children. Or he might be trying to cover his ass, having children getting hurt under his watch would probably look bad for him during his next performance review. If they had that sort of thing in the wizarding world. Likely not. I had a feeling that ass-kissing was probably how you rose through the ranks and got out of trouble. No matter the reason it wouldn't stop me from having a bit of fun with the man. So, so seeing as he was presently distracted with berating his students I took advantage of his lack of attention to float off the floor before starting to spin around slowly while holding out my had and blowing a slow raspberry.
"Pbrbrbrbbrbbb, I'm a helicopter!" I announced to the renewed laughter of my audience. Our dear teacher looked like someone had just clubbed him over the head with a fish.
Sometimes, life was good.