Unni began to sob again, failing to keep her composure. Wien, reaching his hand out to comfort her, stopped short, reeling his hand back in. "Y-your majesty, this might be imposing and well out of my place to ask but, would you like me to sit with you awhile?" he asked, in as comforting a tone as he could muster.
She glanced at him briefly with her tear-filled eyes then tore them away, nodding subtly as she moved to open the door a little more for him to enter without a word. The study, which held an elongated chaise with velvet upholstery and books, tomes, and scrolls all strewn about the place, as if a madman had lived there, felt smaller than it really was. The soft candlelight revealed the open letter on the wooden desk, though its contents were illegible from the distance he was currently at.
She sat on the chaise, and after a few, awkward moments, motioned for him to sit next to her. Awkwardly and wordlessly, he moved over to the chaise and sat down next to her, keeping his hands flat atop his knees.
"You know, I've always wondered what it would be like if I ever got my life back," she began as Wien glanced around the room, trying to avert his gaze from Unni's nightgown that was a little more revealing at the top than he had originally noticed. "What do you mean by that, your majesty?" he asked, still averting his gaze as a drop of sweat ran down the side of his cheek.
"You needn't call me that right now. I don't think I look very majestic right now, given my state," she gestured to her face with a pointed finger, staring at him. He could only nod his response, though quickly realized that keeping eye contact with her was going to be nearly impossible.
"In any case, what I mean is that my life for the past twelve years has been… difficult. I've been in love, so madly in love with a man who sought only revenge for what had been done to his family, when I…" she trailed off, stifling a sob, prompting Wien to look at her again.
"Sorry, it's just been a while since I've had someone actually listen and not just try to solve my problems," she chuckled, realizing the ridiculousness of the situation. "In that case, I guess you're welcome," Wien said bashfully, an awkward smile on his face. Unni looked at him, and really saw him for the first time, admiring his walnut hair and blue eyes for the first time.
"I remember you from the gate when we first arrived," she said, finally putting a face to a place. "I was there with Commander Lande," Wien acknowledged. A thoughtful look grew on Unni's fine features, as her eyes squinted as if to try and piece something together. "Commander Lande. She was the one who was glaring at me, correct?" she asked, more to confirm her thought process than actually get an answer. "Y-yes, she was," he replied awkwardly. "I don't think she likes me," Unni chuckled half-heartedly.
"Th-there's nothing wrong with you, at least not as far as I can tell, anyway," Wien began, struggling to find the words as Unni glared at him. "I-it's just she's known King Anders for a long time, as have I, you see," he continued awkwardly. "He's never made mention of her before, so what gives?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"W-well, I think it has more to do with her being… protective of him, in a way," he replied, trying not to give away Trina's real intent. "Protective, you say? Could've fooled me with the way she was eyeing me like a hawk. I'd say she was out with a vendetta on me," she scoffed.
I should be a little more careful of what I reveal here, and take note of what she does, Wien thought as he saw her reaction.
"Why would she have a vendetta against you?" he asked cautiously. Unni stared at the floor, as if both reliving the memories and deciding whether to tell him her thoughts."There was an incident a long time ago that involved Anders, ultimately leading to him becoming an outcast," she began, shying away from most of the details. "I'd be willing to bet she thinks that I have something to do with it," she said in a half scoff.
With the way you're talking, you just might, Wien thought.
"I-in any case, the only thing I can attest to their relationship is that they've known each other for a very long time," Wien said, as if trying to preemptively deflect the direction of Unni's hatred towards Trina. "You're right. I almost feel like an imposter around him, if that makes any sense to you," she said. "I don't think you're an imposter. Maybe you're in his life for a reason, or perhaps he's the one in yours," Wien said in a poor attempt to comfort her.
Unni, for the first time since the beginning of their conversation, felt a smile tug at the corner of her mouth.
"Thank you," she muttered almost inaudibly. "I've felt so lost lately. I know Anders takes good care of me and is always looking out for my mental health, but…" she trailed off, pausing momentarily. "But what?" Wien asked. "I… don't think I deserve him," she said with a heavy sigh. "I know it's not my place to ask, but why?" he asked tentatively.
If she doesn't want to answer that, it's okay, but I have to try, he thought.
"Because I was there," she said weakly, her voice was a thin whisper, like a breeze struggling through the crack in a doorway. "You were where?" Wien asked gently, hoping his tone sounded non-judgmental and unassuming. "I was there when… when his family was killed," she said in the same, wispy tone, contorting her mouth as she began to cry once more.
Holy. Fucking. Shit, Wien thought.
"The incident I was talking about got former King Mads' family killed due to my own fault. I knew they were going to ambush us from the North, not the South. When I was interrogated, I blamed his wife for the lack of intel. She was my commander in the recon unit we were attached to. She didn't have mana capabilities, but she was intelligent, beautiful, kind, and damned good at her job; everything I wasn't," Unni began sobbing uncontrollably.
So that's why Commander Lande was suspicious, Wien thought, swallowing the weight of her words, remaining quiet as he let her proceed.
"I was so jealous. Jealous of what she had with my Anders. Jealous of how fucking happy he looked with her. I wanted that, I wanted him, for myself, but I didn't know it would be taken that far," she continued, heaving dryly at the thought of the next words that came out of her mouth.
"When the attack on Mads' family happened, I was there with Anders on duty. I watched the royal family be slaughtered in front of us, as we fought off the rest of the outcasts who came for them," she began to explain through her sobbing.
"I didn't think about it at the time, but Mads would end up blaming our squad for what happened to his family since ours was the most experienced. When I was questioned, I lied about having bad intel, putting the blame on his wife in hopes of being able to separate him from her. However, what I didn't account for was how badly Mads would take that news, and what he would do next," she said, a chill running down her spine.
Wien sat in silence, anxiously awaiting whatever came next.
"I was there, you see, when… when his family was made an example of. I… I slit his child's throat, forcefully enough to the point of decapitation, while Mads defiled and killed his wife and unborn child in front of him," she said, her voice weak and trembling, as she collapsed into Wien's lap.
What the actual fuck did I just hear? Wien thought, shaken to his very core.
They sat there, Unni's head in his lap as she sobbed uncontrollably, while Wien stared blankly into the wall in front of him. "I… I've done horrible things, and all this happened because I just wanted to push him away from his wife… I just…-anted…-im for my… -self," she trailed off, choking on her own words. Wien, however, sat in shock, unsure of what to do or say at that moment.
"I-I won't tell anyone what I heard here tonight, and I want you to know that I will keep any and all secrets you reveal to me, now or in the future," he lied, feeling his heart pounding in his chest like a war drum as he listened to Unni's sobbing.
That's the best I can offer right now. I just hope it's enough, he thought.
"Thank you," she said between the breaths of her sobbing as spit was bubbling from her lips. "Do you think he could ever forgive me if he found out, or would I be as unforgiven as Mads was?" she asked. Stunned by her question, Wien's eyes opened wide as he pondered the correct way to answer.
"I… I don't know," he finally said after a few moments. "I can't speak for how Anders would react to that news, but you're probably going to have to tell him at some point. Otherwise this will eat away at you, more than it already has," he said in a calm, even tone.
"I know," she said, curling up even more tightly. A few moments of silence went by, as if both were digesting the information. "C-could you just sit with me for a little while longer? It's nice to have someone just be here and not have to hide anything," she asked weakly. He looked down into her questioning, bloodshot eyes.
She feels so small, he thought, truly noticing the weight of her body on his thighs for the first time.
"O-of course," he said, beginning to stroke her hair in hopes of calming her down. As he did so, her sobbing returned, though not as strongly as before. Every sob shook her curled frame but began to subside as time went on, falling into slow, even breaths.
What the fuck do I do now? He thought.
As the night went on, Wien's thoughts ran rampant, trying to figure out the best course of action.
Do I tell Commander Lande what I just heard? Do I hope she tells Anders, and that he judges her accordingly? Gods above and below, why the fuck did I get saddled with this? He thought, still stroking her hair, unsure of whether she was fully asleep.
Eventually, however, he decided he had to get up and continue his rounds, gently placing her on the chaise, and grabbing a blanket from one of the closets to wrap her in. She rustled gently, adjusting her body to better be wrapped in the blanket as Wien stepped away, closing the door behind him as he left the study. "Damn it," he whispered, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose.
I don't want to tell the Commander about that, but I don't have any other choice, he thought as he pressed against the inner corners of his eyes.
He continued his rounds through the night, and ruminated on the correct course of action. Dawn came, as did his replacement, allowing him to go home, pour himself a drink, and lay down on his bed.