"...Damn it. I'm so bored I could die."
Tap, tap, tap!
Capybory Rambuloli, a capybara with a half hairy rambutan body, leaped high above and performed [100 Pound Rambu Slam].
— "Fall into hell," in capybara noises.
Turpperoni tucked inside its shell made from a pepperoni pizza and dodged the strike. To counter, Turpperoni spun around and performed [360 Degree Turp Shredder].
— "Don't get cocky with me," in turtle noises.
The capybara was sent flying mid-air, followed by a flashy pop-up text that appeared on the screen:
PUNISH!
Following this, Turpperoni revved up like an engine and then unleashed a hundred horsepower spin, slamming the capybara into the wall across the arena.
WALL SPLAT!
Turpperoni darted, not missing the chance for a guaranteed wall ender combo.
HIT! HIT! HIT!
After exactly three clean hits on a wall splat, Turpperoni performed its strongest high-damage ultimate, a unique [Sage Art] that every character possessed.
It triggered a cinematic scene: a reddish-black halo forming above Turpperoni's head, along with a singular wing grew out from its back made from a burnt pizza crust.
[Sage Art] Turpp's Infinite Rizz
Turpperoni then took seven steps backward before it blasted forward at a sonic speed.
HIT!
HARD WALL BREAK!
K.O.!
A giant and golden pop-up text of a knockout appeared thereafter, followed by the shout of the announcer declaring the result of the match:
PERFECT!
Turpperoni grabbed the capybara by collar before it could fall on the ground, lifting him up in the air.
— "Pitiful," in turtle noises.
"Hah."
Still clutching the controller, Seojin sighed.
The vibrant colors of Turpperoni's victory flashed on the screen, but his indigo-colored irises that looked devoid of any life were filled with restless scribbles of worms.
"How did things turn out like this…?"
The game no longer gave him the sense of enjoyment it once did, as he had just picked it up again only after a year, purely out of nostalgia.
Thwack!
Seojin tossed the controller aside and reached for his phone from the desk. He then soon opened a familiar novel site.
If he had any other hobby besides gaming, that'd be reading novels. For Seojin, reading stories was mainly a way to distance himself from the reality that seemed increasingly difficult to inhabit.
"Ah. To think that the novel I had been following for seven years ended yesterday? Truly, this sucks."
Staring at the screen of his phone, Seojin's face contorted as he read the question posted by the author in the community forum:
[Pinned by Author] Hypothetical Question
> If you were given the chance to live in this world as a character, who would you be, and what talent would you possess?
> The first reply will automatically become the drawback of that character. Oh-oh. Don't even think of replying to your own comment, I have my ways to know.
[Comments: 76]
"Meh, how childish."
A cringe question, if Seojin dared to call it that.
It was posted yesterday, but Seojin has yet to comment. It wasn't that he had no clue of what his ideal character would be. He just found the question a little… cringy.
For example,
[Xiana] Xiana, a pretty furry with a perfect body. Seductive charm.
-> [Vainy] is a femboy :3
-> [Xiana] Even better!
Seojin closed the forum and rubbed his eyes, trying to erase the abomination he had just seen.
Growl!
"Ah, crap. I haven't eaten anything for two days now."
Walking down to the kitchen, the refrigerator held nothing but some water bottles and a few cans of soda, with zero sugar.
"Sigh. What a pain."
Thus, Seojin walked towards the nearest convenience store, busy with his phone. Apparently, he was busy writing his comment to the very post he cringed at earlier to distract his empty stomach.
"Whatever happens, happens. I guess I'll play along."
Tap, tap, tap.
[Seojin] Seojin, looks like me and is a genius like me. Any genius skill.
Tap.
He posted the comment with a smug grin.
[Comments: 77]
What's the point of commenting 'a power to turn invisible' as an ideal character but the drawback is 'except for the twig and two berries' kind of thing?
A vague comment like being a genius in all aspects was a hundred times better, especially since he even referenced himself.
For a little bit of background, Seojin's mother is named Yoon Nari, the current top model appearing throughout the world magazines— also notorious for having a total of seven husbands.
His biological father, Yi Jinhwan, was a renowned lawyer that has earned dozens of accolades from international legal institutions.
From looks to brains, Seojin had inherited the best of the genes.
Truth be told, Seojin was fully convinced that he was already leagues ahead of others his age, thus he couldn't think of a better character than himself.
This belief was supported by boxes of certificates and medals in the storage room, as he had graduated as valedictorian in both primary and high school.
Unfortunately though, Seojin dropped out of college two years ago by having no desire to follow in either of his parents' fields.
And so, here was his current situation: a eundunhyeong oetori.
Both his parents are only giving him a minuscule weekly allowance just enough to cover basic necessities, unless Seojin decides to go back to studying.
Step, step.
Seojin arrived at the convenience store. He then immediately grabbed a cup of instant ramen from one of the shelves and made his way to the counter.
Ding!
A notification buzzed from his phone.
[Seojin] Seojin, looks like me and is a genius like me. Any genius skill.
-> [SIX SEVEN] Skibidi Sigma Rizz Sus Gyatt Ohio NPC
"That comes to fifteen hundred won, sir. Do you need to purchase an eco-friendly plastic bag? That'll be an extra hundred won."
The cashier finished ringing up the cup of instant ramen and tapped a few keys on the register.
But.
Seojin didn't hear a word. All he could think about was the reply to his comment, the mindless absurdity of someone with such a rotted brain.
Even the replies after that were also ridiculous:
-> [itsnotron] MF wutt? :wiltedrose:
-> [ΩSquare] Can I draw your thighs? xXx
-> [NineEleven] B-b-buildings?! Crassshhh!!!
-> [sonikcreep] are you a hedgehog? can i lick your feet
-> [LegendBot3000] @sonikcreep, 50 dollars per foot pic bro, deal?
-> [ChoVisuals] Hello! I'm a commissioned artist. I finished reading your story and found it very engaging and felt naturally suited to visual storytelling. If you ever like to explore this further, my mail account is always open to talk: chovisuals@goluguludotcom. Best regards, Cho.
Looking at Seojin deeply immersed in his phone, the cashier leaned slightly forward, expecting a response anytime soon.
"What the fudge is wrong with these unhinged people? They should be wiping their own asses instead of—"
"Pardon me, sir?"
The cashier cut him off. Her polite customer service smile was entirely frozen as the customer's response was unlike what she had expected.
Seojin's eyes flicked up from his phone, landing on the cashier's flabbergasted expression.
Triggered by the ridiculous replies, he ended up muttering an expletive without much of a thought.
"Ah."
Seojin cleared his throat.
"Sorry. I got... a bit distracted by a message. How much did you say the instant ramen was again?"
"Fifteen hundred won for the ramen, sir. Will you be paying with cash or card?"
"...Card."
"Okay. Please insert it into the reader right here."
"Just a moment."
Seojin pulled a card attached to the case of his phone and slid it through the reader.
Beep!
A red light flashed on the monitor. Insufficient balance. He then patted his pockets, only to realize his actual wallet was sitting on his desk at home.
'Shit, I'm fucked.'
Left with no choice, he tried to deploy his ultimate weapon: his facecard. He gave the cashier a charming smile.
"Hey, look, I'm in a bit of a tight spot. Could you cover this just once? I'll leave you my number and transfer the money back the second I get home. I promise it'll be worth your trouble."
The cashier didn't even blink. Her expression remained completely flat.
"I am truly sorry, sir, but I cannot do that."
His pride took a heavy blow, but his empty stomach forced him to push further.
"Then how about dinner tomorrow night? My treat. We can go anywhere you want."
Tomorrow was Monday, the glorious day his parents wired him the usual minuscule weekly allowance. Sacrificing a fraction of it to invite a pretty girl to dinner seemed like a perfectly reasonable trade if it meant not starving to death tonight.
The cashier let out a long and heavy sigh.
"Look, I have a boyfriend. I've also been on my feet since noon, and I really don't care about your dinner. Please step outside before I have to call the police."
"..."
Seojin stepped out of the convenience store empty handed. He kicked a random stone on the pavement, watching it skitter across the ground.
"Damn it! It's just one cup of instant ramen, what's the big deal?"
Clutching his phone, Seojin thought of asking his mother to send the allowance tonight as he might not last until morning in this state.
But.
Ding!
7
A single number appeared on the screen, even when he has yet to tap any number to dial his mother.
Ding!
7 7
Ding!
7 7 7
The number increased with every sound.
At the same time, he could feel a strange sensation running down his nose. He wiped it with the back of his palm and a red frothy liquid painted his skin.
"B-blood…? Since when does skipping a meal for two days cause a nosebleed?"
Ding, ding, ding!
SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN
There's a saying to never joke with a hungry man, and that right now, Seojin was very, very hungry.
Thwack!
Seojin slammed the phone on the ground. He then raised his chin, pinching his nose to stop the blood from dripping.
A full minute passed, the bleeding stopped.
He wiped his nose with the collar of his shirt and picked the phone back up.
For some reason, the screen was still intact, showing no kind of cracks. The numbers and vibrations also vanished. Everything returned to normal.
Or at least, until—
Ding!
7
That number appeared on the screen one more time. Unlike earlier though, the font now seemed to have decorative elements.
"This is ridiculous…"
Seojin hurled the phone across the road, his frustration reaching a certain threshold. His phone still lit up in the distance though, giving off a…
Ding, ding, ding, ding!
…repetitive sound so loud as though the speaker was placed directly beside his eardrums.
Ding, ding, ding!
Seojin fell on his knees, desperately covering his ears, screaming in pain, and throwing curses in succession.
"Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. It hurts, please shut up…"
As if hearing his pleas, silence filled his ears, though maybe because it was just him going deaf.
However.
Ding!
7
That single number appeared again, but not on the screen. Instead, it appeared exactly before his eyes, floating midair, followed by another, and another.
It multiplied endlessly.
Until no matter where he looked, all he could see was an endless sea of number seven.
"Damn it aaaallll!!"